Selwyn showed no awareness of being a "quack doctor." On the contrary, his self-perception was exceptionally high. As a general practitioner, he had mastered treating dragons and had extensive experience with ailments ranging from alien cats' stomach ulcers to angels' molting wings.
Loki: "..."
After some thought, Loki realized something. "Isn't that just a veterinarian?"
"To be precise, I specialize in species with high magical resistance, which excludes most humans. Otherwise, many medications wouldn't be effective," Selwyn replied, glancing at him. "Technically, that includes you as well."
Loki's first instinct was to sarcastically wonder if this so-called miracle doctor could heal Odin's blind eye. But lacking the courage to openly mock the All-Father, he kept the thought to himself. Loki knew his condition stemmed from damage to his divine core. As the "first mage of the Nine Realms," he wasn't a specialist in healing magic, but he understood his limitations. It was hard to imagine a Midgardian doctor resolving his unique affliction.
Selwyn didn't seem particularly intent on treating him, either. Most of his energy was spent feeding dragons with pumpkins from his garden or large chunks of meat delivered by S.H.I.E.L.D., enjoying the leisurely pastime of tending to magical creatures. When not feeding dragons, he played video games. Seeing Loki's puzzled gaze, Selwyn generously handed him a controller.
"I've got quite the collection here. Want to try?"
On the screen, a blond, blue-eyed elf wielding a longbow used magical tools to assemble scattered parts into a vehicle. The scene reminded Loki of his childhood hunting trips in Alfheim's forests, when both he and Thor carried hunting bows. Back then, Thor hadn't yet become the muscle-headed brute he was now. Though they often bickered, they generally acted in unison during those days.
Now, however, Loki had no desire to see a blond, blue-eyed protagonist.
"Don't you have better things to do than waste time like this?"
"Adventuring in Hyrule is worth the time," Selwyn replied, eyes fixed on the screen. "Besides, I rarely get the chance to go out."
Loki: "..."
That sounded a bit pitiful.
Unlike Selwyn, Loki had traveled far and wide across the cosmos. Thor's adventures were as grand as his reputation, and every hero needed a clever companion to provide counsel. Loki had often been that companion.
"I have other things to do," Loki hinted. "I can't stay here forever."
"You're losing magical energy at an abnormal rate. Staying somewhere with abundant ambient magic is better for you," Selwyn explained. "It's like how humans with lung damage need hyperbaric oxygen chambers. You'll need to recover for a while before starting treatment."
Selwyn blinked. "First time on Earth? The scenery here is quite nice, good for recovery."
Not the first time, Loki thought bitterly. He didn't hold Earth in high regard.
Among Asgardians, Loki was confident no one understood Midgard better than he did. Unlike Thor and Volstagg, who clung to outdated ideas about Earth, Loki knew how to make money quickly, book flights, and navigate Midgardian bureaucracy. The God of Mischief had always been adept at adapting to new environments.
Perhaps due to his solitary lifestyle, Selwyn seemed keen on assisting. He even offered to help Loki process an alien green card, enabling him to legally remain on Earth. Loki didn't think he needed one but agreed nonetheless.
By the end of the day, S.H.I.E.L.D. received an application originating from Volkmeir.
"Contact address… Alfheim," Nick Fury muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. Every word of the application was painful to read. "Reason for stay: emergency refuge and medical recovery under humanitarian aid from a doctor."
Fury had never expected a reply to his messages, let alone one from a serious mage submitting a formal application.
The attached photo showed a green-eyed man with distinctively pointed ears and facial features reminiscent of Hyrulean adventurers in video games.
"Most Alfheim elves are blond," Selwyn noted while entering data into the computer. "I know it's bizarre for a wandering mage to need a contact address, but you should come up with a more plausible one."
"Light elves can have mixed ancestry, and Alfheim has many immigrant communities. It's just an address—it doesn't need to match the race," Loki replied.
A flash of green light later, his pointed ears reverted to normal. "Besides, I already look human enough as I am."
Selwyn paused, then pointed at a sunken spot on a lazy chair. "Your density is quite different."
Loki breathed a sigh of relief. Asgardian bodies were denser than human ones. Growing up, he'd always been the skinny, lightweight one Thor could easily toss around. Back then, he never thought to question the disparity, brushing it off thanks to his mother's reassurances.
The S.H.I.E.L.D. agent assigned to handle Loki's paperwork was Phil Coulson.
When they met, Coulson instinctively felt a chill run down his spine.
"Well… Mr. Loptr," Coulson said, handing over a hastily prepared passport. "I hope you enjoy your time on Earth."
Alien residents had to register temporary addresses and leave records for public transport use. Selwyn quickly volunteered his cottage as Loki's address, adding that transportation wouldn't be an issue since dragons were readily available.
Coulson frowned. "Do you have a license?"
"Do you need a license to ride dragons?" Loki asked innocently.
Coulson: "…"
When Fury had dumped this mess on him, he hadn't mentioned it would come with double the trouble.
Alien complications were one thing, but why were the humans here just as unreliable?
Coulson smiled diplomatically. "If you'd be willing to help S.H.I.E.L.D. with some minor issues, we could provide round-the-clock transport services—business and personal. All expenses covered, including global travel."
Loki stared at him, remembering the last time they'd met, when he'd cracked Coulson's skull open. He was surprised the man was still alive, and not just alive—he seemed busier than ever.
Coulson's duties were interrupted by a frantic call from another agent. "We're losing control!"
Sighing, Coulson turned to Selwyn. "Can you get me out of here quickly? Driving out of this zone would take 40 kilometers."
"Sure," Selwyn replied. "Destination?"
"Manhattan, if I have a choice."
Selwyn brought them to a grassy clearing with a conspicuous mushroom circle at its center.
"You're using chlorophyll magic?" Coulson asked skeptically.
Selwyn blinked. "What? No. These mushrooms are from local faeries. We're just borrowing their portal."
With that, Selwyn hoisted S.H.I.E.L.D.'s heavily armed car with one hand and stood at the center of the mushroom circle. Coulson inhaled sharply. That car was packed with advanced fire-control systems and heat-guided missiles, making it significantly heavier than a regular vehicle.
"What are you staring at? Get in," Selwyn urged.
Loki's gaze lingered on Selwyn's arm. "…Are you sure you're human?"
"I may have absorbed a bit of dragon essence, but I'm mostly human," Selwyn replied nonchalantly. "Did I not mention that before?"
Of course not! Loki thought, stepping into the circle alongside a visibly nervous Coulson.
With a snap of Selwyn's fingers, the circle began to glow, the grass beneath them softening before giving way like a collapsing plastic bag.
In an instant, they reappeared high above New York City, the Empire State Building's spire looming nearby.
Loki barely had time to process the shift before gravity took hold, and they began to fall.