My crew started to clean up shortly after three, and Natalie stuck around. Her mother left on an errand an hour earlier and I was able to take better pictures during her absence. As I put my camera equipment away, I glance over towards Natalie and see her sitting with some of my crew members by the caterers' tent, chatting and laughing. Every once in a while, I catch her stealing glances at me, and I pretend not to notice. Emily, one of my assistants, was making more progress with Natalie than I could in the five hours I spent with her. Natalie seems much more comfortable around women, making me wonder if she prefers their company otherwise. I take a deep breath and pull up my suitcase, rolling it back to the car.
"Allow me, Mr. Ramos," Big Guy number one offers a hand.
"Yes, thank you," I answer, and take one last look at Natalie over my shoulder. She stares back at me with the eyes of a happy, yet sad woman.
I nod to her.
She nods back with a smile.
I don't know how we'll get away with it, but I shall certainly do my best.
Three weeks ago, I wanted to take her away, maybe to a different country, or a remote island. Somewhere she would feel safe. And maybe that's why she knew she could turn to me. She knew I wouldn't betray her, hurt her, or lie to her. I didn't want to. Enough people have done that to her already.
"I've paid you a lot of money Mr. Ramos, how can you not understand how important this is to me, to Natalie?" Mrs. Blanche tries to be condescending with me, and I find it very annoying.
"I'm afraid I don't fully understand," I say as I put my coffee down on my table. My studio is filled with the light from the skylight, and yet it is very cloudy outside. "I never guaranteed your daughter would be successful; it really is entirely up to her." I do my best not to glare at Mrs. Blanche after she takes a seat across from me.
"You have excellent connections to magazine editors, publishers, agents, and super models," Mrs. Blanches' tone has gone from condescending to pleading, and I chuckle at this, "Surely you can influence one of them to give her a job." I trace my cup along the edge with my fingers, silently waiting for what she'll say next. What I had hoped wouldn't be true.
"I can-," Mrs. Blanche starts, but hesitantly continues, "I c-can offer you anything in return." I look up at her, intently trying to figure out what she means. She gets up from her seat and walks slowly over to me, the clicking of her heels pacing towards me on my wood floor. She places her hand above mine in an attempt to seduce me. I move my hand away, glaring up at her. I get up from my chair, coffee in hand, walking over to my window. Looking down at the car Mrs. Blanche came in, and I can see Natalie peeking her head out of the window listlessly.
"If you'd like someone younger," Mrs. Blanche began, "If you promise to keep it from the media, Natalie can-"
"Stop," I interrupt. A horrible realization I couldn't come to terms with until I was absolutely sure; it has left a hole in the pit of my stomach. I close my eyes, and lick my lips, trying to moisten them. I turn to Mrs. Blanche without looking at her and nod.
"Okay," I finally say, "Send her up." Mrs. Blanche lets out a sigh of relief and smiles.
"Thank you, Mr. Ramos," Mrs. Blanche walks backwards while putting on her gloves, "You won't regret this, I promise you."
"Just tell me one thing," I begin, and she stops in her steps towards the door, "Why go through all this for her? She doesn't want to be a model." Mrs. Blanche quickly reacts with a light laugh.
"Of course she does," Mrs. Blanche replies with wide eyes, "she simply doesn't know it yet. I'll make sure she gets there by any means." I can't believe this woman. How low she will stoop to live vicariously through her own flesh and blood.
"Send your daughter up here, I'll take some excellent photos this time, my way," I say coolly, "I'll call you as soon as the shoot is over. Afterwards, I'll present her to my 'connections' and go from there." Mrs. Blanche smiles once more and turns back around to the door. I watch her as she leads Natalie out of the car and back up to my studio. As they enter, I am setting up for the shoot, and unintentionally ignore them as they walk in.
"Ahem," Natalie prompts me to look over in her direction. I look over my shoulder to find her standing alone, a hand to her waist and bag in the other.
"What do you think?" Natalie twirls around in her rose colored trench coat with a matching hipster scarf and light-beige heels. Her hair is curled, leaving her straight bangs for the childish look her mother wants her to maintain.
"It's good, but," I get up from my kneeling position, and walk over to her, "do you wish to look like a girl forever?" Natalie smirks while rolling her eyes.
"Of course not!" Natalie sighs and walks past me over to my couch, and plops down, "But my mother wants me to stay looking young, she says it will help me in the long run. Did you know she's been using anti-aging creams on me since I was nine?"
"Jesus, that's obsessive," I put my hands into my pockets, "Do you know why she does all this?" Natalie takes a deep breath and leans back into the couch. Slowly contemplating what to say.
"Because she always wanted to be a model, but she met my dad and had me instead," Natalie says as she looks off into nothing, as if she is remembering a painful memory, "She does it to punish me for existing." I grab one of my chairs and sit across from her, knowing she doesn't like to be too close to me, or any male for that matter.
"Why do you suppose she's punishing you?" I ask as I rest my arms atop the chair. Natalie gives me a sharp glare, as if she hates the question, and begins biting her bottom lip; a nervous trait I notice she has.
"Where can I put my coat?" Natalie asks, clearly changing the subject.
"We have time," I keep my gaze on her, "You want a way out, right?" Natalie nods enthusiastically, "You need to build the right connections with the right people who can get you out of that place so you can claim your independence. You're lucky your mother made an offer to me and not some perverted-"
"What?" Natalie interrupts me, with a lost expression, "My mother offered...what?" I sigh deeply while burying my face into my arms. "Did she offer you sex?" I nod lightly, keeping my eyes on hers. "Did she offer you...me? In exchange for a modeling contract?"
"I know why you want to leave that place, Natalie," I say as Natalie's eyes widen and begin to fill up with tears. She gets up and walks over to the window, unbuttoning her coat and setting it aside. "I want you to know, I won't do that to you, and I'm not the type who will."
"I know you're not," Natalie says softly, "I knew it when I first saw you." She takes off her dress, revealing her lingerie, as if she was already prepared to give her body away. I blush vigorously and avert my eyes. "My mother wasn't clear why I was coming here today; I thought it might come to this though, she insisted I wear this."
"P-please, put your dress back on Natalie," I haven't felt such a rush in my heart in so long, my legs are quivering, "I promise you I don't want that from you."
"You misunderstand, Mr. Ramos," Natalie says, and I turn my eyes back to her crying face, "I want you to take my picture just as I am now." I am speechless and can't move; my absolute awe of this perfect moment makes me want to reach out and hold her more than before.
"Alright, stay there," I run across my studio and grab my camera. Click. Click. Click. Click.
More pictures over by the couch, the window, kitchen, my bed. Everything as is. That's what she wanted. And I don't like to brag, but I felt this was my best work yet. We never retouched her makeup, and left her tear-stained face for the camera.
"This is definitely Vogue material," I comment after looking over the pictures.
"You think so?" Natalie asks as she puts on the warm robe I left for her, and looks over my shoulder.
"I just have to change the filter to a more dramatic color and viola," I change the color to sepia tones on the camera and Natalie gasps in amazement.
"How did you do that?"
"Well, instead of physically changing the lens during the shoot, since we were in the heat of the moment, I spent an extra pretty penny to get digital filters for this bad boy." I place my camera down, and open my laptop. "Of course, I still need to adjust some things and send it to my editor before I can present it, but they really did come out great." I look over to find Natalie fiddling with my stereo.
"Can I play some music? I can never listen to what I want at home," she asks sweetly. I nod and return my attention to my computer.
"Of course, listen to anything you want," I punch in my pass code and resume my work.
"You have everything in here," Natalie chimes in the background, "Radiohead, Cat Power, The Divinyls, Chicago," she slightly pauses after looking over my monstrous list of music in my mp3 player, "Who listens to Meat Loaf? Is it like someone slapping a piece of meat or something?" I begin laughing heartily at her comment.
"You can't be serious?" I ask looking over to her, she smirks and looks back at my mp3. Again, the mysterious look of the Mona Lisa plays back in my head, and I can't tell if she's serious or messing with me. As I submit the photos to my editor and to the lab, I hear a song playing faintly behind me.
"Love me, love me..." I recognize this song, it's my mother's favorite. "Say you do...Let me fly away with you..." I close my laptop and let out a long, drawn-out yawn.
"Natalie?" I call for her after I see she has disappeared.
"We are creatures of the wind...wild is the wind..."
I walk over to the stereo and find her laying on the couch, listening to the song.
"Give me more...than one, caress..."
"Would you like something to-"
"Shh, I'm listening to the lyrics," Natalie says as she raises her hands up.
"Satisfy this hungriness..."
"I really like this song so far," Natalie says softly. I take a seat beside her on the arm rest so she doesn't get uncomfortable.
"I have a lot of songs from them," I respond. Natalie gets up and looks at me. "What?"
"Why did you agree to help me?" she asks.
"We are creatures of the wind...wild is the wind..."
I look down at her and turn away, trying not to show her the blush that is currently forming around my cheeks. "I don't really know why," I lie.
"Liar," Natalie replies quickly, "Jenna is a friend of the family, did you know that?" I look back at Natalie with a raised brow and shake my head. "She told me that you never take special interest in any model, no matter how beautiful, but she liked you so much, she claims you're the reason she wanted to be a model."
"So, you want to take revenge for your friend then?"
"No! That's not it at all, I can't stand Jenna, she's so..." Natalie rolls her eyes in contemplation.
"You touched me...I hear the sound of mandolins..."
"Fake," Natalie finishes, "But you, you're not fake."
"I might be," I say with a smirk.
"No, you're not, I can see it when you look at me," Natalie has done it again, and I have to get up this time to stop her from seeing my blush. Although my motives are not purely to help her become a model, I desire her heart, her eyes, her soul. What would she do if she found out I want her to desire me as much as I do her? Would she hate me?
"You kissed me...with your kiss my life begins..."
"We can go down to this great Italian place around the corner and get something to eat," I digress, walking over to my kitchen to get my keys. Natalie's steps are right behind mine. I turn around and she is surprisingly close to me.
"Why do you blush, Mr. DeMille?" Natalie attempts a French accent, making us both laugh. "Please tell me why a handsome guy like you turns down beautiful models like Jenna Swanson?"
"I'm not going to answer that," I say, trying not to sound as nervous as I feel. Natalie gives me an unwavering look and pouts her lips.
"Please tell me?"
"I don't know," I pull back a little, trying to put some distance between us so I don't get aroused and accidentally scare my model away. "I suppose I don't like fake women either. As friends, colleagues, girlfriends..."
Natalie steps closer to me, placing her soft hand on my chest, applying pressure against it.
"Maybe you need someone who will see your heart, like I do," Natalie looks at my chest for a long time then back up at me with those sad eyes I desperately want to know. Instinctively, without a thought, I tilt her chin upwards and reach in for a kiss. She doesn't pull back or hesitate, instead grabs the collar of my shirt and kisses me. I felt the ridiculous butterflies swirl around in my stomach and become lost in her kiss. Her lips are soft, and she kisses me gently. I kiss her back, holding myself back from kissing her too passionately. In fear of scaring her away, she seems so delicate and breakable, I don't want to lose her.
"And you, kissed me...with your kiss my life begins..."