One by one, Harry and the other Cannons stumbled out of the fireplace at the Cracked Spyglass, followed by Ron, Lee, and Katie. They were greeted by a loud cheer and immediately surrounded by enthusiastic fans, nearly all of whom were clad in orange.
Someone shoved a pint glass into Harry's hand, and the contents sloshed wildly as everyone clapped him on the back and shook his other hand. Harry didn't care though—he was still elated, and the spilled ale just added to the fun.
Before he could spill any more, he drained his glass to another chorus of cheers. 'Well done, Potter!' and 'Atta boy, Harry!' came the cries, and someone attempted to give him a refill. But he covered the top of the glass with his hand and shook his head.
'Careful, he's got to pace himself,' boomed Suresh, who had already started on his second pint. 'Seekers, you know,' he added, and everyone laughed.
Harry took a moment to look around the pub and was surprised by how large it was. 'It's magically extended,' shouted Gary over the din. 'It expands to fit the crowd, up to a certain point anyway. I'm sure we'll find out what the limit is this afternoon.'
They pushed away from the hearth and a group of patrons vacated tables for them. A magically-amplified voice rose over the crowd, and Harry saw an older wizard standing on a chair. 'On behalf of the Chudley Cannons Official Fan Club, I want to welcome Harry Potter to the team ... and congratulate him on catching the Snitch ... on his very first outing!' It took him a while to finish the sentence because of the interrupting fanfare. 'Three cheers for Harry Potter!' he cried.
'Hip hip hooray!' cried the crowd three times, and Harry thought his chest would explode.
'And three cheers for Lindhurst!' called a fan, and there was another round of hoorays.
Harry cried out, 'And cheers to Gary and Suresh for keeping me intact!' The room went wild again, and they acclaimed for the Chasers as well.
Harry grabbed Owen's hand and raised it high. 'And to Owen Barrowmaker! He's absolutely brilliant—I couldn't have done it without him!' There was enthusiastic applause, and Harry added, 'Shame he couldn't keep clear of the Bludgers,' and Owen raised two fingers at him, to loud laughter.
Owen shouted, 'Harry's a great flyer, and a real team player. Here's to a long and prosperous career with the Cannons,' and the crowed roared and raised their glasses.
Finally Harry pointed out Ron and said, 'And to my best mate Ron Weasley, for turning me onto the Cannons in the first place!'
Everyone appeared to recognise Ron, and he received huge cheers as well.
The players settled around their tables. Harry made sure to include Lee and Katie with him, and he noticed Ron was at a table with Janet and Darren.
Everyone was passing around Omnioculars to watch the game highlights. Amid all the shouting, Harry was able to watch the turnover he had forced, which resulted in a goal by Ryan. He also saw Janet's two saves and the sequence where he caught the Snitch, starting with Underhill's attempt to deceive him with a feint.
'That was really fantastic,' said Owen. 'I doubt I could have spotted the Snitch after the other Seeker had started feinting.'
'It was all your instruction,' replied Harry. 'The Snitch just appeared to me without effort.'
'Brilliant, keep at it! I'm sorry I couldn't serve the team by catching the Snitch much myself, but this is the next best thing.'
Their conversation was regularly interrupted by fans seeking autographs. More than a few witches—and a couple of wizards—asked him to sign the covers from the Prophet and Witch Weekly. Harry knew he should be embarrassed, but he didn't mind somehow. They were clearly overjoyed, which gave him a lot of satisfaction.
'How long will we stay here?' Harry asked Owen after a while. 'This is fun, but I'd enjoy actually talking with everyone.'
'I'll probably head home shortly—I'm sure Jill is ready for help with the girls. But the rest of you can leave anytime you like ... you've already put in a long enough appearance.'
'That sounds good. I'll see what the others have in mind.'
A quick conference among the players resulted in most of the reserves staying at the Spyglass, Gary and Owen returning home to their families, and the rest of them—including Lara—heading over to Grimmauld Place.
They went there by Floo, and everyone poured into the formal reception hall. 'So this is the seat of Lord Snitchbottom,' said Renée, looking around.
'My god, Potter, how can you live here?' asked Suresh. 'This place is about as cheerful as the underside of a coffin.'
'You know, I'm completely used to it,' said Harry. 'It's actually much better than it once was, now that the Dark magic and rotting smells are gone.'
'It's true,' said Ron. 'You should have seen it before.'
'I'm sorry, who is Lord Snitchbottom?' asked Katie.
Harry rolled his head in exasperation while Janet explained. 'It came out today that Harry is the proud owner of the ugliest ring in creation, which designates him head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Emphasis on "noble."'
'It's completely meaningless,' said Harry. 'I'm barely related to the Blacks, and the only reason there's a lordship is because they coughed up gold for the Ministry a few hundred years ago.'
'You're Lord Black?' said Lara, laughing. 'I think we're going to need to dedicate a wall at the training facility for all your Prophet covers. And maybe new wards to fend off the marriage proposals. Social climbers, you know.'
'Oh hell, do you think the Prophet is going to find out?' asked Harry, horrified.
'Not from the team, but there were several Falcons staff members present,' said Suresh. 'Sorry mate, you're screwed.'
'Just count yourself lucky no one photographed the ring,' said Renée.
'Doesn't matter,' replied Darren. 'There's probably a drawing in one of those pure-blood masturbatory journals.'
'Cheer up, Harry,' said Suresh. 'Maybe you'll start a fashion for gold and emerald carbuncles.'
'I need to see this thing,' said Lara. 'It can't be as ghastly as what I'm picturing, surely.'
'Oh yes it can be,' said Suresh. 'Go on, Snitchbottom.'
Harry revealed the ring, and Lara, Katie, and Lee choked with laughter. 'Is that actually supposed to be high-class?' asked Katie. 'I thought the old families had discreet signet rings, like some of the Slytherins wore.'
'Those were the rings you saw,' said Suresh. 'The rings like Harry's are probably all hidden.'
'Excuse me, I think I've taken enough abuse.' He turned towards the others and said, 'What do you say—shall I introduce Suresh to the lady of the house?'
'Definitely,' said Janet, and they walked towards the entrance hall.
Walburga was sleeping but Harry woke her up. 'Mrs Black, I wish to introduce my friend Suresh.'
She narrowed her eyes at Suresh and said, 'A coolie! And a blood traitor to boot. Why have you brought your dishonour into my house?'
Suresh looked at her sharply, 'And how is this your house, you two-dimensional, racist cow?'
'I am the mistress of this house, scum!'
'I don't think so. Boy Who Lived over there is wearing the ring. Show her, Potter.'
The ring was conveniently on Harry's middle finger, which he raised to her.
'It is my greatest torment that the ill-begotten son of a blood traitor and a Mudblood darkens these hallowed halls,' she cried.
'Darkens these halls?' exclaimed Suresh. 'They're pitch black to begin with!'
'How dare you pronounce the sacred name of my fathers!'
'Your fathers?' continued Suresh. 'Hang on, didn't you marry into the family?'
'She was also born a Black,' said Harry.
'Now that's just nasty,' said Suresh. 'I may be a pure-blood, but at least I have the full count of great-grandparents.'
'This is fantastic,' said Janet. 'You could sell tickets.'
'Your blood may be pure,' bellowed Walburga, 'but your skin is the wrong colour.'
'Excuse me, what's your surname again? I'm a good deal blacker than you are,' retorted Suresh.
'Same here,' said Renée.
'Me too,' added Lee. 'So piss off, you pasty bitch.'
Walburga's eyes darted around for a moment, as if she were still processing the exchange. But then she burst into a rage unlike any Harry had seen. 'You disgusting monsters! Were I able to command my elf, I would have him slay you all and hurl your reeking carcasses into a dragon pit!' she cried.
'Good luck with that, you worm-eaten corpse,' said Harry. 'Your elf answers to me now. Kreacher!'
Crack! 'Yes, Master!'
'Good afternoon, Kreacher. Would you please cook some pizzas for my friends? We're all hungry.'
'Of course, Master, with pleasure!' he said, before disappearing again.
Before Walburga could respond, Harry tapped the portrait with his wand and said, 'Now shut your gob, cuntwaffle.'
There was silence, and then a round of applause. 'I think that was more satisfying than watching you catch the Snitch,' said Katie.
'Please say we can have her for the shop,' implored Lee.
'That's my intention. I've spoken to a portrait painter, and we have a plan to dislodge her. I'll know more this week.'
Suresh peered into the dining room. 'May I look around? As long as we're here, I want to thoroughly darken these hallowed halls.'
'Have at it,' said Harry.
They paraded through the dining room, which everyone except Suresh and Renée had already seen. 'You could really host an epic party, Potter,' said Suresh. 'How many people does this room even hold?'
'I've never counted, but I'd guess the table seats forty.'
'Fantastic,' replied Suresh. 'And is there more room for entertaining upstairs?'
'Yes, there's an equally gloomy drawing room,' said Ron, 'and also a library.'
They climbed the stairs and entered the drawing room. 'What on earth is that?' asked Darren upon seeing the tapestry. 'Oh my god ... the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Are you even on here?'
'My great-grandparents were on there, but Walburga scorched them off decades ago,' replied Harry, indicating the spot Andromeda had shown him. 'And even if they hadn't been obliterated, I wouldn't have been on it thanks to my unfortunate parentage.'
'Pas toujours pur, eh?' said Renée, looking at the large inscription on top.
'No, not particularly pur at all. I'm sure Sirius thinks it's hilarious I'm Head of House.'
'What was he like anyway?' asked Janet. 'Besides the whole mass-murderer thing?'
Harry and Ron looked at each other. 'He was brilliant,' said Ron. 'A bit mad, but I suppose Azkaban will do that to a bloke. He loved Harry to pieces.'
'It was mutual,' said Harry, a little choked up. 'I wish he could have been there today.'
'Yeah,' said Ron, and everyone was quiet for a moment.
'It's strange how backwards everything was,' said Renée. 'I remember when Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban and his photo was everywhere. We thought he was the worst of the worst. And then a couple of years later the Ministry was saying how awful you were, Harry. My parents didn't believe it, of course, but a lot of my classmates did. And then during the war, the only news we could trust was Potterwatch, or maybe the Quibbler.'
'That was Lee, you know,' said Ron. 'Potterwatch, that is.'
'Really?' said Lara, turning towards Lee. 'Potterwatch was a lifesaver. Really gave us hope.'
'I only heard it once,' said Harry, 'but it meant the world to me.'
'Are you still doing radio announcing?' she asked Lee.
'Not much opportunity these days,' he replied. 'I'm running a joke shop with Ron's brother George.'
'Weasley's Wizard Wheezes?' asked Lara. 'That place is brilliant—my younger brother loves it. You should broadcast from there—I'm sure he and his mates would all listen.'
'Lara, you're a genius!' exclaimed Ron. 'Lee, this needs to happen. You could have interviews and comedy segments ... that sort of thing.'
'Could you do an interview with Walburga?' asked Janet. 'I'd tune in for that, particularly if you get Suresh on as well.'
Lee had a thoughtful expression, as if his mind were running through possibilities. 'I'd have to discuss it with George, but I love the idea.'
'You could get Harry as a guest,' said Lara. 'Loads of people would tune in for that.'
Everyone looked at Harry, and he said, 'Of course, I'd be delighted to.'
'It seems your days of privacy are over, now you're on the Cannons,' said Katie.
'Harry had privacy?' said Darren. 'Now there's a horrifying thought.'
'You have a lot of talents, Potter,' said Suresh, 'but maintaining your privacy isn't one of them.'
Ron laughed. 'No, it really isn't.'
'So let's see the rest of this house,' said Suresh. 'This drawing room will hold another several dozen people, surely.'
They filed into the library, and Harry said, 'I'm not sure it's a good idea to open this room to a crowd. The bookcases are filled with horrors, and the family Grimoire is even worse,' he added, indicating the large volume. 'Don't touch it, by the way. I'm sure it has all sorts of gruesome curses on it.'
'All right, the library is off limits,' said Suresh. 'Are there any other large spaces we could use? Besides the stair landings, which are already pretty big.'
'There's also the sitting room—we can head there next.'
'You must have extra bedrooms,' said Janet. 'Depending on what kind of party we're talking about, those could get some use.'
'Sign me up,' said Darren.
Ron turned to Harry and said, 'You have to admit, Sirius would have loved for you to host a massive party here.'
'You'd be honouring his memory,' said Janet. 'Perhaps we could stage a mass murder of some kind, in tribute.'
Crack! 'Master, dinner is ready. Would Master like it served in the kitchen, dining room, or bedroom?'
Everyone laughed, and a sheepish Harry said, 'In the kitchen, thank you.' The house-elf disappeared with another loud crack.
'That's a new suggestion from Kreacher,' said Ron. 'He's expanded his repertoire?'
'Sounds more like Harry has,' said Janet.
Harry ignored her and they all headed downstairs. 'This is the sitting room,' he said as they passed through.
'Oh, this is minuscule. You could only cram twenty or so people in here,' observed Suresh. They walked into the kitchen and he added, 'But fortunately you could squeeze another thirty in here. That's it—you're hosting a huge party.'
'Does Master wish to host a party?' asked Kreacher.
'Apparently,' said Harry, who had somehow surrendered to Suresh's mad idea. 'Merlin knows when, though.'
'Kreacher would be overjoyed to prepare the house for a party! Would Master like for Kreacher to consult the family recipes?'
'Good lord no,' said Harry. 'Your new style of cooking is perfect.'
'Yes, Master.'
The table was laid with a variety of pizzas, and also pitchers of butterbeer and pumpkin juice.
'Pumpkin juice?' asked Darren. 'You really did go to Hogwarts, didn't you.'
'No, I've been bluffing this whole time,' said Harry. 'What's wrong with pumpkin juice?'
'It's ... a granny sort of beverage,' said Darren. 'A bit stringy, keeps you regular. Last popular during Grindelwald's War, I reckon.'
'This is news to me,' said Harry. 'What do modern wizards drink?'
'I'm partial to fruit pressés, personally,' said Lara. 'There are some good wizarding brands available.'
'There's also an exciting new spell called Aguamenti,' said Janet. 'Do you actually like pumpkin juice?'
'Not really,' admitted Harry. 'But I got used to it. What about you, Ron?'
'I guess I never thought about it. But you're right, it is rather stringy.'
'I used to carry a water bottle around Hogwarts,' said Katie.
Lee said, 'Personally I like pumpkin juice.' He reached and poured himself a glass.
'Yes, but you also like tripe,' said Katie.
'That's true.'
Everyone helped themselves to pizza and began eating heartily. 'Now this is good,' said Suresh. 'Locking up your house-elf is clearly paying off.'
'He makes good curries too,' said Lara.
'I'll be the judge of that,' replied Suresh.
After they'd eaten and thanked the delighted Kreacher, the discussion turned towards their evening plans. 'Shall we go out then?' asked Darren. 'The night is young.'
Ron glanced at Janet. 'I know I'd like to.'
'So would I,' she said. 'Any thoughts on where to go?'
'How about Penumbra?' said Harry quietly.
Janet laughed. 'It's clear what you're looking for, Snitchbottom.'
Darren said, 'Best not to go there too often. It's safe, but not entirely. It'll eventually ruin you for other bars.'
Remembering Alistair, Harry sensed what Darren was talking about. 'I suppose you're right. What do you propose then?'
Janet and Darren both thought for a moment. 'How about the Lost Legion?' she asked.
'Nice.' said Darren. 'Somewhat more wholesome than Penumbra, but not oppressively so. Good crowd too.'
'Where is it?' asked Ron. 'I've never heard of it.'
'Bath,' said Janet. 'They had a wizarding community back in Roman times, and some of the private spaces remain.'
'How do people even learn about these bars?' asked Harry.
'Word of mouth, of course. Same way you're hearing about them.'
Harry looked around. 'Who else is in?'
Everyone besides Renée accepted. 'My girlfriend is expecting me home—she wasn't interested in coming to the Spyglass after the match, but she'll want me back soon.'
'You should invite her here next time,' said Harry.
'I will, thanks.'
Renée left, and everyone else went home to change into nicer clothing—Ron was particularly keen, since he was still wearing orange from head to toe. The plan was to meet at the Lost Legion soon after.
Harry opened his wardrobe and selected his one smart outfit, which Ginny had helped him buy. I wonder if the tailor's shop is open tomorrow, he thought. If he was going to be seen in public regularly, he should probably have more than one decent set of clothes to wear.
Following Darren's instructions, he travelled to the Lost Legion by Floo and emerged to find Janet, Darren, and Katie all waiting. Stepping away from the hearth, he looked at his surroundings.
Harry had seen pictures of Roman ruins—there had been a very fussy engraving in the sitting room at Privet Drive—but this was no ruin. The room was vast, with a high, vaulted ceiling supported by numerous columns, and it looked as if it had been completed the day before. The mosaics covering the floor were fully intact, and when Harry looked closer he saw that the tile animals were moving. There were numerous marble sculptures, which were unbroken and also animated, turning their heads to sightlessly survey the scene. It wasn't perfectly preserved—it was perfectly alive.
'This is remarkable,' said Harry, looking everywhere at once. 'We should really bring Hermione here sometime. She's mad for history.'
'It's amazing, isn't it?' said Janet. 'I like how it transforms the act of getting pissed into a cultural experience.'
'Well said,' replied Darren. He turned towards the hearth and said, 'Hopefully the others will be along soon.'
Ron was next to step from the large fireplace. His hair was back to its normal hue, and Harry noticed he was wearing a particularly smart shirt that Hermione had given him for his last birthday. Ron looked around and then turned to Janet and said, 'You look very nice. Classical Roman surroundings definitely suit you.'
Her eyes sparkled, and Harry could tell she'd charmed her lips redder as she'd done the weekend before. 'Thank you,' she said. 'And you're looking considerably less orange. I like it.'
Lee and George appeared next. 'Harry, congratulations!' said George. 'And to think, you owe it all to me.'
'I'm sorry, how's that?' asked Harry.
'You may recall that a fortnight ago you and I were at the Twisted Niffler, and my shoddy Notice-Me-Not Charm revealed your secret Quidditch ambitions to the world.'
'You're right!' said Harry. 'If it weren't for your total incompetence at charms, not to mention your lack of respect for my privacy, I'd still be whinging about my job at the Ministry.'
'My point exactly. So you clearly owe me a drink,' said George. 'Shall we find a table?'
'I don't actually see any empty tables with chairs,' said Ron. 'Just tall tables to stand at.'
'As long as there's a place to rest my glass, I'm content,' said George. 'But first introduce me to your mates.'
Harry introduced George to Darren and Janet, and within a minute Lara and Suresh arrived as well. They wandered over to a cluster of tables, and Harry found himself with Ron, Janet, and George.
'I'm sorry I wasn't able to attend the match,' said George, 'but I had the radio on in the shop. Same as every shop in Diagon Alley, I'll wager.'
'Were people interested?' asked Janet.
'Definitely,' said George. 'It sounds like you made a couple of good saves.'
'They were brilliant,' said Ron. 'I can't believe I forgot to bring my Omnioculars to the match, otherwise I could show you.'
'What I want to see are some Pensieve memories of Harry playing Quidditch as a wee firstie. Were you on his house team as well?' she asked George.
'Yes, my brother Fred and I were Beaters, back when ickle Harrikins was no bigger than a Bludger.'
'Oi!' cried Harry.
'Oh right,' said Janet, ignoring Harry. 'I recall hearing you have a twin. Why isn't he here tonight? There's always room for another ginger,' she added, with a saucy gleam in her eyes.
At first nobody answered, until Harry said, 'Fred died in the war.'
Janet looked mortified. 'Oh my god, I'm so sorry.'
'That's all right,' said George, and Ron nodded.
She continued, 'No, you'd think I'd have learnt by now not to put my foot in it like that. It's not like I didn't lose people too.'
Everyone was quiet, until George said, 'Now that we're all maudlin, shall we get some drinks? I believe Harry's buying the first round.'
'That's a brilliant idea,' said Janet. 'Ron, should we accompany him? He might need help carrying pitchers and glasses, with those teensy little hands.'
'I do not have small hands!' protested Harry, holding them up. 'I caught the bleeding Snitch, didn't I?'
'You're just too easy to provoke, Snitchbottom.'
The three of them walked together to the bar, and the bartender did a pair of double-takes—first at Ron and then at Harry. 'Hello there, what can I get you?'
'Two pitchers, please,' said Harry. 'Ale and porter, and some glasses.'
The bartender started to pull their pitchers and said, 'I haven't seen you here before. Is this your first time, then?'
'She's been here before,' said Ron, indicating Janet, 'but yeah, this is Harry's and my first time.'
'Well I hope you enjoy it,' said the bartender. 'It's certainly an honour having you.'
'It's a pleasure to be here,' said Harry. 'I've never seen any place like it.'
'Yes, we're proud of it.' He gave them a stack of glasses and handed them the pitchers. 'No charge.'
'Thanks, but that's not necessary,' said Harry.
'I insist,' said the bartender. 'You can get the next round.'
'Cheers,' said Ron, and they returned to the table with their drinks.
Janet turned to Ron and said, 'Being around you and Harry is bad for my ego.'
'How's that?' asked Ron.
'Darren and I normally get all sorts of attention when we're out, and the rest of the Cannons as well, but now we're just hangers-on. I barely got a second glance just now,' she said with mock indignation.
'Well he must be blind then,' said Ron. 'I'd much rather have a second glance at you—I've seen more than enough of Harry.'
'They did share a dormitory, after all,' said George. 'Not to mention that tent.'
'What was that like?' she asked Ron. 'Not seeing Harry's bits, of course—fighting You-Know-Who that last year of the war.'
Ron straightened and said, 'It wasn't only that last year, you know. It started our first year at Hogwarts, when Voldemort possessed one of our professors ...'
While Ron spoke to a rapt Janet, George leaned over to Harry and said, 'And so it begins.'
'What's that?' asked Harry. 'You mean Ron's pulling career?'
'Exactly. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it—he earned that Order of Merlin. But it's amusing to see him collecting the spoils of war.'
Harry wasn't sure how to reply—the same could be said of him, after all. 'Do you suppose we should give them some privacy?' he asked. 'I'm feeling a bit extraneous.'
'Same here,' replied George, and they took one of the pitchers over to the table where Lara, Katie, Darren, and Lee were standing.
'Have you lost Suresh again?' asked Harry.
'No, he's off talking to some mates,' said Darren. 'But Lara and I are having fun taking the piss out of the Hogwarts contingent.'
'It's not our fault we were trapped in a brainwashing warded castle for seven years,' said Katie.
George asked, 'Is that the leading theory, then?'
'We don't know yet,' said Harry, 'Hermione and Bill are still investigating. But there's definitely something at Hogwarts, based on what happened after my visit on Wednesday.'
'How do you suppose wizarding society is going to react when it all comes out?' asked Katie.
'It'll be mayhem, as usual,' said Darren. 'I've already starting telling my Blockhurst chums, and they're simultaneously furious and amused.'
'It's exciting to realise how many people our age are out there,' said Katie. 'Particularly for those of us who didn't meet our true love at school.'
'This is what Harry and I were talking about a few weeks ago,' said George. 'The absurd tendency for wizards to marry before they're twenty.'
'Tell me about it,' said Katie. 'My grandmum already considers me an old maid. She's been trying to teach me charms for making doilies.'
Darren started laughing. 'And you're what, twenty?'
'Twenty-one.'
'Oh, that's different. You'd best get started on those doilies,' said Darren.
'Is it the same among your peers?' asked George. 'Or is it unique to Hogwarts?'
'No, it's not just Hogwarts,' said Lara. 'Wizards are definitely in a hurry to pair up. I suspect the bond has something to do with it.'
'What bond?' asked Harry.
'Really, Harry, how have you managed to stay so ignorant?' asked George. 'Did Dumbledore put special wards around your four-poster in Gryffindor Tower?'
'Nothing would surprise me,' grumbled Harry.
'Anyway, the bond is a ritual performed at a traditional wizarding wedding, usually afterwards, in private. It creates a stronger link between the couple,' said George.
'In other words, it papers over incompatibilities,' said Darren. 'Not perfectly, but usually well enough to keep a couple from cursing each other to death.'
'George, why didn't you mention this two weeks ago?' asked Harry. 'It helps explain why wizards marry so young.'
'I'm pretty sure I was distracted by our tangent about Arthur Weasley and Muggle contraceptives,' said George. 'But we've been drawn away from Katie's earlier point: that there are more eligible partners out there than we've been led to believe.'
'Yes,' said Lee, 'that came as a nice surprise when George told me about the other schools last week. It also explains how the joke shop manages to stay afloat.' He turned to George and added, 'I never understood how you and Fred expected to make it work just selling to Hogwarts students.'
'We had an easily steered backer,' said George. 'A bit dim, to be honest.' Harry glared at him, and George smiled and gave him a thumbs-up. 'Cheers, mate.'
'So will you throw that party, Harry?' asked Lara. 'It seems like a good opportunity to introduce your Hogwarts classmates to the likes of us.'
Katie said, 'Please say yes! That would be fantastic. I'd be glad to help out.'
'Same here,' said Lara, and the others nodded.
'All right, why not?' said Harry. 'Sirius would certainly approve, and it would make Kreacher happy.'
'Brilliant,' said Darren. 'How should we plan it? We can't just place a notice in the Prophet. You'd be overrun.'
'Why not just branch out from our current circles?' said Katie. 'We could invite several years of Hogwarts classmates, and then you and the other Cannons could invite your friends. Nobody would turn down the invitation, surely. Even without Harry involved, everyone would want to see the inside of an old pure-blood mansion.'
'How would we keep it safe?' asked Harry. 'I love the idea, but I won't have much fun if I'm in Auror mode all night, and I'm sure others would feel the same way. And how would people arrive? The house isn't under Fidelius any longer, but it's still Unplottable and all the rest.'
'The goblins can handle that,' said George, 'particularly now that you're back in their good graces. They can arrange portkeys, alter the Floo restrictions ... you name it. For a price, of course.'
Suresh had returned to the table and was eagerly following the conversation. 'So you're going to do it then? Brilliant! Have you chosen a date?'
'Not yet,' said Lara. 'Are there any special occasions coming up?'
George conspicuously ran a finger around his missing ear and said, 'I seem to recall that Harry has a birthday approaching. It was fairly memorable a couple of years ago.'
Harry grimaced. George had lost his ear just before Harry's seventeenth birthday, when the Order used decoys to extract him from Privet Drive. In addition to George's injury, Mad-Eye and Hedwig had both died that night.
George noticed his expression. 'Maybe we should make some new memories.'
'Yeah, maybe so,' said Harry. 'It's Neville's birthday too—the day before mine.'
'Is that a friend of yours?' asked Lara.
'Yes, Neville Longbottom.'
'I'm sorry, did you say Snitchbottom?' joked Suresh.
'Don't let poor Neville hear that,' said Harry. 'I think he still has a complex.'
'He was what you might call a "late bloomer,"' said Katie.
'Have we decided on a date?' asked Lara. 'Today is the seventeenth ... two Saturdays from now will be the thirty-first. Does that work?'
'Wait a moment,' said Harry, 'we have a match that afternoon. Won't we be in a bad mood if we lose?'
Darren, Suresh, and Lara all laughed. 'If there's anything the Cannons are consistently good at,' said Darren, 'it's taking defeat in stride. But I don't think it'll be a problem—our fortunes seem to be shifting.'
'Fingers crossed,' said Harry. 'All right then, I suppose we have a plan. I'll go to Gringotts tomorrow to arrange the protections.'
They talked for a while longer about the party before Katie changed the subject. 'Lee, you need to tell George about Lara's stroke of genius.'
'Oh right!' said Lee. 'Lara thought we could do a regular radio broadcast from the shop.'
'Now there's a thought,' said George. 'What do you have in mind?'
'Comedy segments, interviews ... you should have heard Suresh and Harry earlier with Walburga,' replied Lee.
'Walburga Black on the radio? Brilliant!' said George. 'Do you have any idea how to go about it? We can't exactly relaunch Potterwatch.'
'No,' said Lee. 'It would have to be legitimate this time, so we'd either need to go through the Wizarding Wireless Network or get our own licence from the Ministry. But I have books about all that.'
'I reckon you do,' said George warmly. Harry could see that George wanted to help Lee fulfil his old dream of becoming a radio announcer.
They discussed it a while longer before Harry started getting restless. He was having a great time with his mates, but he had additional plans for the evening. Amazingly nobody had approached him for an autograph, which he appreciated, but the time had come for him to broaden his social circle.
Lee and Lara seemed to be hitting it off, and Katie was having a good time talking with Darren and Suresh. Harry turned to George and said, 'Do you fancy walking around a bit? I wouldn't mind checking out the crowd.'
If George suspected Harry's true motive, he didn't say anything. 'Yeah, that sounds good. Maybe get another drink while we're at it.'
They walked together towards the bar, and Harry noticed people looking at him. He normally did his best not to look back, but this time he kept an eye out for pretty witches. Not bad, he thought, noticing a few. But let's keep our options open.
He and George each ordered another pint, which Harry was permitted to pay for, and without discussing it they chose a tall table in an area with a high concentration of young women. Harry consciously lowered the outer barrier he normally wore in public—not a magical barrier, but a closed-off sort of energy that said, 'Leave me alone.' It didn't work very well in most settings, but the crowd at the Lost Legion seemed less inclined to intrude.
Witches started trying to catch his eye. He affected nonchalance and focussed on his conversation with George until a particularly attractive duo appeared. Either of them would do nicely, he thought, and he felt slightly ashamed of how shallow he was. But not too ashamed to look meaningfully back at them.
He turned from George and made room at the table for the two women. They seemed surprised, as if they hadn't expected Harry to acknowledge them, but he smiled invitingly and they approached.
'Please join us,' he said. 'I'm Harry, and this is my friend George Weasley.'
'Not Ron Weasley?' said one of the women, looking appraisingly at George.
'No, I'm his infinitely superior elder brother,' he replied, in his best Malfoy drawl. 'And who might you be?'
'I'm Rebecca,' she said, 'and this is Helena.'
'I knew a Helena once,' mused Harry, who was feeling the effects of the beer. 'She was a ghost. Beautiful though.'
'Really?' replied Helena. 'Are ghosts your type then?'
George interjected, 'That's a good question. Harry, I seem to recall you spent a lot of time with Moaning Myrtle back at Hogwarts. And didn't you once attend a Deathday Party?'
'Yes, but it wasn't exactly my idea of a good time. I'd say I have a strong preference for the living.'
'I'm glad we've established that,' said George. 'So Rebecca, Helena ... tell us about yourselves.'
The women looked at each other before talking. 'We both attended West Chipworth,' said Rebecca. 'We finished a year ago.'
'What are your interests, then?' asked George.
'I work in a Potions shop,' said Rebecca. 'I do a lot of brewing, to maintain stock.'
'Is that your interest or just your job?' persisted George.
'I can't say I'm keen on brewing the same potions all the time, but I enjoy the subject.
'George is quite the brewer,' said Harry. 'He received an Outstanding on his O.W.L.'
'What about your N.E.W.T.?' asked Rebecca.
Both men laughed. 'Never took it,' said George. 'Neither did Harry, for that matter.'
'Harry I understand,' she said, 'but what was your excuse?'
'Hogwarts was being run by a sadistic harpy that year, so I took my leave early and opened a shop,' said George. Harry noticed he didn't mention Fred.
'Which shop? Would I know it?' she asked.
'Weasley's Wizard Wheezes on Diagon Alley,' said Harry. 'It's brilliant.'
She was impressed. 'Too right it is! Our Potions master used to give out your sweets as prizes. She said they were some of the cleverest Potions applications she'd seen. The Canary Creams were her favourites—she had us write eighteen inches about the interaction between Potions and short-term Transfiguration.'
'George, can you imagine Snape giving out sweets for prizes?' asked Harry.
'More like poison for punishments.'
George and Rebecca continued to talk Potions, and Harry turned to Helena. 'I'm sorry, I still don't know anything about you, other than your name and which school you attended.'
Helena smiled coquettishly at him. 'I'm not sure I should reveal anything. I'm at a decided advantage here.'
'Perhaps, but there's a fine line between an air of mystery and total impenetrability,' replied Harry.
'Oh, I'm not impenetrable,' she said saucily, and Harry's eyes shot open. 'But in answer to your question, I do Charms work for our family business. Magical trunks and suitcases, mostly.'
'Brilliant,' said Harry. 'Whenever I see magical suitcases I long for one, but I've no present need. I wish I'd known to purchase a magical trunk when I started school—all I had was an old Muggle trunk.'
'That's a shame,' she said. 'I know my grandfather offered you one for your eleventh birthday, but he never got a response.'
Dumbledore strikes again, thought Harry irritably. 'I'm so sorry. I never heard anything about it, or any other gifts for that matter. Please apologise to your family for me.'
'There are no hard feelings, I'm sure. I think they assumed you had more offers than you could respond to.'
Harry shook his head. 'Perhaps I did, but I have no way of knowing. I hate to think how many people thought I was an ungrateful little twat.' He looked down and noticed her glass was nearly empty. 'Can I get you something else to drink? I feel I ought to make it up to your family somehow.'
'Honestly, what I'd really like is somewhere to sit down. I didn't wear very sensible shoes,' she said, stepping away from the table to show him her three-inch heels.
He gave the shoes a cursory glance but lingered on the legs and slim ankles leading into them. 'They're lovely, certainly, but I can't say I'd want to wear them.' He looked around the room and said, 'I don't see any seats available, but we could Floo to my house and continue our conversation sitting down.'
She raised an eyebrow at him. 'All right,' she said. 'I don't normally go home with strangers but I'll make an exception, considering how much I already know about you. Congratulations on catching the Snitch, by the way.'
'Thanks,' he said, smiling. He had forgotten about the match and was happy to be reminded. 'George, we're going to find somewhere for Helena to sit down. I'll see you sometime this week?'
George turned from Rebecca for a moment. 'Yes, sounds great.'
'Nice to meet you, Rebecca,' said Harry.
'Likewise.' She looked pointedly at Helena, who nodded very slightly. 'Have a good time.'
Harry led her to the fireplace, walking slowly to accommodate her sore feet. 'Let me go through first, to clear the wards, and then you should ask for "Grimmauld Place," he said.
'Are you serious?'
'Yes. And I should warn you, it lives up to the name. I didn't decorate it.'
'I'm intrigued. See you in a minute.'
He soon welcomed her in the formal reception hall, and she looked around. 'Thanks for warning me. I'd have probably turned right around if you hadn't. Why on earth do you live here?'
'I inherited the house from my godfather. I think he was hoping I'd fix the place up a bit, but I've grown used to it. I suppose I'll get around to redecorating one day, but I have other priorities at present. Such as finding you a place to sit down.'
'For example,' she said dryly. 'Which direction?'
'Upstairs, if you can manage. Feel free to take your shoes off.'
He'd decided to bring her to the drawing room. It had been enjoyable to 'cavort' in front of the tapestry, as Elizabeth had called it, and he wanted to give it another try.
They managed to pass in front of Walburga without waking her, and Helena climbed the stairs ahead of him in her stockinged feet. When they reached the landing, he lightly placed his hand on her back and guided her into the drawing room.
The gas lights flared and she looked around the room with wide eyes. 'Toujours pur ... really? Have I awakened in some kind of alternative universe? You're the Harry Potter who defeated Voldemort, right?'
He laughed. 'Don't worry, this is the Black family tree, not mine. I'm not even on it.'
'I know I'm not,' she said. 'My father's parents are immigrants, and my mother is Muggle-born.'
'Same with my mother. Here, have a seat,' he said, indicating a sofa opposite the tapestry. 'Can I get you something to drink?'
'Yes please, what do you have?'
Oh bugger, he thought. They'd finished the Butterbeer at dinner. 'I'm sorry, all I have is pumpkin juice.'
She started laughing. 'Are you serious? I thought you and I were the same age.'
'We are. But I learnt today that Hogwarts has warped me in yet another way by making me believe pumpkin juice was essential wizarding fare. It was pretty much all they served.'
'Really? That's odd. Do you suppose it was to prevent problems with the plumbing?'
'Anything's possible. So I'm guessing you don't want any. I could offer you water then, or run out to the corner shop and get you something a bit more contemporary.'
'Water is fine,' she said, and he conjured and filled a glass for her. 'Do you mind if I put my feet up?'
'By all means, go ahead. Would you like a foot massage?'
'Oh yes, please,' she said, with surprising passion. Now this is promising, he thought. Helena seemed like less of a foregone conclusion than Elizabeth had been, but if she was that excited at the mere mention of a foot massage, he had high hopes for what might follow.
He wasn't disappointed. 'Oh, Harry,' she moaned. 'Yes, that's perfect. Yes ... yes.' Before long, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes had a sultry cast.
This seemed like his opportunity. 'Is there anywhere else you want ... massaging?' he asked, leaning over her. She answered by pulling him closer, and they stayed entangled on the sofa for a long while.
'I've revised my opinion on pure-blood decorating,' she murmured. 'It has some real advantages.'
'I'm glad you see it that way. Are you still comfortable?' He had no wish to relocate, but he wasn't in contact with any sofa springs.
'Yes,' she said, running her hands farther down his body. He took the hint and began focussing his efforts beneath her skirt, removing her stockings first. 'Oh, Harry ... don't stop.' This continued for a while until he could no longer delay more active participation.
He removed his trousers in plain sight, to avoid any surprises, and she smiled lustily at him. 'Yes, now,' she moaned.
After casting a Contraception Charm, Harry climbed on top and they soon found a mutually enjoyable rhythm. Helena was vocal, which he rather enjoyed, so it was a while before they noticed the loud tapping sound.
He tried to ignore it, but it grew more and more insistent. 'What is that?' asked Helena. She sat up, dislodging him, and turned to the window. 'Is that an owl?'
His vocabulary was limited. 'Fuck, I don't know.'
'You'd better get it,' she said. 'I think it might break the glass.'
Harry staggered from the sofa, catching his foot on his discarded trousers and falling to the floor. 'Bugger!' He stood up again and made his way to the window before opening it.
All owls were terrifying—even Hedwig—but this one was particularly fearsome. It glared fiercely and held out a leg, to which a red envelope was attached. Harry removed it and the owl flew off with a violent flutter of wings.
'I think it's a Howler,' he said in a panicked voice. 'How did anyone get my address? It's fully protected.'
'Stop talking and open it!' she cried.
'Can't I Incendio it or something?'
'Not once you've touched it! Please, open it now!'
He tore it open and Hermione's voice blasted through the room. 'HARRY JAMES POTTER, I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT BUT APPARENTLY YOU LOCKED KREACHER IN A CUPBOARD YOU BLOODY BASTARD. IT'S BAD ENOUGH YOU OWN A SLAVE BUT THEN TO PUNISH HIM WORSE THAN A DOG. I SHOULD CALL THE R.S.P.C.A. ON YOU, YOU REVOLTING SWINE. AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU BETTER THAN THIS. YOU'D BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION BUT I CAN'T THINK OF ONE. YOURS, HERMIONE.'
The envelope fell from Harry's hand and burst into flames before collapsing into ashes. 'Was that Hermione Granger?' asked Helena.
'Yes,' said Harry, dazed. He was still standing by the window without his trousers on.
'What did you do exactly? Why did you lock someone in a cupboard? And what's that about owning a slave?' She was sitting up and had pulled her dress back over her.
'It's my house-elf, Kreacher. He's been increasingly contrary lately, to the point where he won't let me prepare my own breakfast. This morning I idly threatened to punish him, and he lit up like a candle. So we agreed he could stay in a cupboard for several hours, but then I forgot to release him before leaving for my match, and I had to summon him to the stadium. Which must be how she found out—I suppose my teammate Ryan mentioned it.'
'I see.'
'She has very strong feelings about the treatment of house-elves,' he added.
'So I gathered,' said Helena. She was silent another moment before laughing. 'And here I thought I knew everything about you.'
He couldn't help smiling. 'So you're not going to report me for keeping slaves and torturing them?'
'No,' she said. 'But I might want to see proof of this house-elf, and that he's not being mistreated.' She rose from the sofa and began walking towards him.
'Now?' he asked, glancing down at his naked bottom half.
She was right in front of him and put her hands on his hips. 'I was thinking tomorrow morning, when he brings us breakfast in bed. I hear house-elves are mad for that sort of thing.'
'They are,' he said in a low voice. 'Shall we get situated then?'
'I think that's best.'
He kissed her before leading her up to the bedroom, leaving his trousers and her stockings on the drawing room floor.