The silence lasted for only an instant before A-ko's voice, sharp with fury, erupted in Gloria's mind.
(But if this continues, you'll die, you know?! That's why I thought I'd try to save you from death!)
How presumptuous.
If A-ko were physically before her, Gloria thought she would silence her forever.
"How dare you speak from such a high position? I don't need your instructions, nor do I owe you any sympathy."
She already knew well enough about her own miserable and helpless end, without anyone needing to remind her.
While thinking this, Gloria let the flow of her first life—its beginning to its end—rush through her mind like a crushing wave. As the sight of her bloodied severed neck on the guillotine flashed before her, she felt the ghost of that moment shudder in her mind.
(Why?! I didn't know about your father pushing the blame for his embezzlement onto you because that wasn't part of the story, but wouldn't anyone want to run away from such a father?! And in the end, you were killed—shouldn't that alone make you want to avoid this fate?! If anything, with my knowledge now, I could live peacefully as a commoner!)
"Why?"
Her own "why" was likely spoken in the same tone as A-ko's earlier. Like a confused infant who doesn't understand the meaning of a picture on paper or the sound they hear, Gloria merely tilted her head in bewilderment.
She agreed with avoiding that tragic ending. Gloria certainly didn't want to die unnecessarily, and she wouldn't repeat the same foolish mistakes of her first life. However,
"Why must I run away?"
The sheer ridiculousness of A-ko's logic made Gloria's anger surpass mere irritation as she simply couldn't understand, and she asked the question.
"Hide away as a commoner with the help of some lowborn woman from another world? I, Gloria von Caldwell, am supposed to do that?"
Should she run from those who betrayed and plotted against her, including her fiancé, people who magnified trivial matters into monumental ones and even blamed her for their own crimes?
(Well, then why not just get engaged to someone else and marry them? Gloria's mother was a princess from some country, wasn't she? Using those connections, you could find a better man than Edward and leave the country!)
The word "supadari(Japanese for super darling or an ideal boyfriend/husband)" came to mind, derived from the images and ideas shown to her earlier.
"To avoid a future of betrayal and death at the hands of my fiancé, should I entrust my future to another man? But where is the guarantee that this man won't betray me and send me to the executioner's block?"
She would never rely on someone else to solve her problems.
No matter how capable this "supadari" might be, she had learned the hard way that entrusting her future to anyone else was too dangerous.
(As long as there is love and trust between the two of you...!)
Love? Trust?
Gloria scoffed.
Gloria had loved the Crown Prince in her own way.
She had tried to build a relationship of trust, which was why she had warned him about the saintess trying to come between them.
And yet, her reward had been the guillotine.
(Then, I shouldn't be friends with my father, prevent crimes, and get along with Alan and the maids? If I'm nice to the heroine and listen to the prince's troubles, then surely I'll avoid being killed!)
"I will never forget that scene, that humiliation. I will never forgive those who were involved."
That's why Gloria thought she should live as she did in her first life—under her father's roof, with her maid by her side, engaged to the Crown Prince and studying at the academy.
She alone, among all, would survive the same stage where she had died in her first life. There was meaning in standing on the same stage.
She waved her hand in irritation at the delicate, yet somewhat weak, golden hair that belonged to her child-self.
"You say this world is a story, but we are not merely characters created with limited settings for a single moment. Everyone in this world has a past. Me, and them, too."
For example, her father had once competed with his brilliant younger brother for the family headship.
In a world where the eldest son was naturally expected to succeed, when voices within the family questioned if the younger brother was better suited to be the head of the family, her father, despite his younger brother not desiring it, had fiercely competed for the position.
When the royal family proposed a marriage to a neighboring country's princess, he had reluctantly accepted to fill the gaps in his own qualifications as the head of the Duke's family, all while harboring his resentment toward his younger brother.
After Gloria's mother had died from illness, her father remarried a woman from the commoner class, his second wife, who did not stir his inferiority complex. He had chosen her not out of love, but because she was easily controlled.
Her half-brother, Alan, who had sensed this and felt insecure due to his half-commoner heritage, grew to despise Gloria, preferring people with more power and authority than her. Thus, he had ingratiated himself with the Crown Prince and the Saintess.
The reasons for Alan's hatred toward her were not solely due to the mistreatment Gloria had done during his childhood.
The true source of his resentment was the threat posed by Gloria's impeccable noble bloodline, as the daughter of a Duke with royal ties.
"That's why, no matter how much I try, my father will do anything to hold onto his position as Duke, and Alan simply dislikes me for existing."
Their innate nature couldn't be changed by simple kindness.
It was like catching a fish from the harsh ocean and placing it in a big tank. Even if you set up a kind environment for the fish, it wouldn't suddenly grow legs and run on land.
No matter how much A-ko tried to be kind and offer her solutions, Gloria's deeply ingrained "discriminatory mindset" would not change. Even now, just speaking with A-ko, a lowborn girl from another world, made her uncomfortable.
"Ah, but I guess death has changed me in some ways."
Seeing A-ko fall silent, Gloria gave her a faint smile through the mirror.
Until now, she had cared about the Caldwell family and the royal family in her own way.
For the sake of the country, and the royal family, she had considered the idea of giving the Crown Prince the Saintess as a concubine. She had even come to terms with Alan succeeding the Dukedom, since he carried the direct Caldwell bloodline.
But now, she held no such affection for the royal family or the Dukedom.
She thought of them as no different from commoners.
Her discriminatory thinking had now shifted to "myself, and everything else."
She felt no need to value anything or anyone else. She had no reason to care for anyone.
Respect, affection, trust—none of those mattered. Nothing outside of herself was of any importance.
It was even too much of a bother to classify people into nobles and commoners.
That's why she had no hesitation in crushing everything underfoot.
The essence of her mindset hadn't changed. What she was experiencing now was less of a "change" and more like "growth" or "development."
And the fact that these trivial beings had been the ones to bring about her death in her first life was something she found deeply repugnant.
"I will never forget the buzzing of the flies at that time. The ones who embraced each other, happy, as they watched my severed head roll off the guillotine. The vulgar smiles of the crowd who had no idea but were enjoying my death."
With the anger and desire for revenge swirling in her chest, Gloria could almost feel A-ko, who had been about to say something about how no one would benefit from revenge, shrink back in fear.
"If you are an obstacle to me, I will rip you from my body and crush you, no matter what it takes."
Remember that.
Gloria said, and smiled.
Her smile, twisted only at the edges, was wicked, yet there was a strength in it that made one want to bow down unconditionally.