A self-deprecating smile crossed Ellie's lips.
"That I wanted to see him."
Mindy's body flinched.
"Him? Even though he hurt you so much, you... wanted to see him?"
"Yes. Isn't it ridiculous? I'm beyond help, right? How could I, after leaving him, want to see him just because I faced a difficult situation... I hated myself for it."
"Ellie..."
Am I really helping Ellie by doing this?
The image of Simon, who had said he would travel aimlessly around the country, also came to mind. Am I actually keeping these two apart?
"I don't want to meet him again. If he finds out I didn't get rid of the baby... he'll be angry."
No. Right now, he would be on his knees thanking God just for the chance to see you whole.
"What if that's not the case?"
"Even so, I don't want to meet him. I'm sick and tired of seeing how pathetic I become because of him."
Mindy was reminded of Suzy's biological father, who was like unreclaimable garbage. She involuntarily shuddered with disgust.
