Day by day, my life is turning into a worse and worse nightmare. Who would have expected me to become a mother of angelic children at such a young age?
Polite and lovable children are called angels, so why are the real cupids who live with us in our new house by the ocean frisky, noisy and insufferable? They behave worse than the crying brats in the store who try to extort candy with shouts.
Today I'm especially nervous because in the evening I was beaten by the boys at cards. What was I even thinking about? Why did I agree to this stupid game, accepting the challenge that the loser would serve the winners for a week? Did I really think I would defeat the devious, cheating demons?
It's annoying to watch them arrogantly laugh in my face first thing in the morning!
I clench my lips in anger as Thomas overlaps me from behind and squeezes me around the waist, making me drop the tray with the cup of coffee I prepared for Victor.
- Are you crazy! - I yell at him when he won't let me go. He rests his chin on my shoulder, probably intending to seduce me this way. These cheap tricks no longer work on me. I've known him for so many years that there's no way he can move my heart.
We are like Tom and Jerry, we love to tease each other and nothing more. I'm used to his games.
- You lost, but the fight is still between me and Victor.
- What - I furrow my eyebrows, wondering what he is talking about. - What fight?
- Today will decide who you will serve for the rest of your days. Isn't it better to be the personal maid of one demon than two?
I roll my eyes. I could expect that these two, stupid chestnuts have arranged a game, and I am their reward. Demons have no heart, so they don't count my feelings at all.
- If I were you, I would take up some work instead of dealing with bullshit.
- And who says that? - He lets go of me, and I take advantage of this and turn to face him. - What are you looking at? You're on Andy's own, and you're not doing anything to get a job.
I force a laugh, offended by his words.
- Being in your company has brought me to such a state that I have two left hands.
With his smile, he would now knock down seventy-five percent of mortal girls, but I have become immune to him.
- It's no secret that demons have a bad influence on people.... - whispers in my ear, at which I roll my eyes.
None of them will succeed in seducing me. If they want to play the game, then I'll be in it and this time I'll win.
- Seriously, Tom? Do you think I'll fly at you if you whisper a few stupid words in my ear?
An amused Thomas moves away from me, and at that time I don't yet know that it's all a ploy, and he understands he won't seduce me and works the other way.
As I mentioned earlier ... demons are cunning, and I'm as dumb as a shoe since I let myself be approached.
- You will see that after so many years of acquaintance, your heart just today will beat faster at the sight of me. Wait until the evening. - He smacks at me seductively, then sends a few hundred kisses as he walks up the stairs to the second floor.
He is knocked out.
I sigh loudly as I lower my face and look at the broken cup.
- Victor, you'll have to wait a while longer.
*
Betting is awful, and I feel sorry for all the girls who are stuck with cheating guys, thinking that they are crazy about them.
It's fortunate that I know these two well and don't fall for their stupid, childish ploys.
Love triangles are overrated and boring, and yet people are still eager to read books and watch movies about it. If they like, I can direct them an amateur series called "Beautiful girl in the snare of stupid demons". I'm sure it would make quite a hit, given their idiotic behavior. They've watched over-colored series, and now they're putting me off romantic scenes here, and even attempting erotica.
Fine, let them be. It's even fun and enjoyable when they violently mac me, they can even do it two at a time. I still don't succumb, or at least have a little fun.
Who would have thought that, living in this house, I would have gnawed to such a degree? Well... with whom you associate, such you become. A good old saying that never loses its value.
- How much longer are you going to kiss my neck?
I'm lying on the bed, crushed by my ex-boyfriend.
- Don't you like it? Am I that hopeless?
- That's not the point. It's just that your coffee will cool down," I announce, watching as less and less steam rises from the cup.
Victor looks at me with amusement in his eyes.
- Maybe this bet will deepen my feelings, so don't put me off, Jennie.
This boy can surprise me, not like Thomas, who nonstop uses the same tactics.
A cupid in a pampers runs into the room, who, jumping up with joy at the sight of us, aims an arrow at Victor's ass.
- Love, love! Someone needs love! - he yells, laughing loudly.
The bronze arrow plunges into Vic's muscular buttock, and I raise my head and look at it with curiosity in my eyes.
- Doesn't it hurt? - I ask as the child runs out of the room.
- It will hurt less if you help me pull it out of my ass," he claims, a wry look on his face.
I burst out laughing as he gets off me and sticks his ass out toward me, asking me to help him.
- Oh, Vic, you look adorable.
I'm going to help him, but as long as I pull that arrow, it won't even budge. Maybe it's me who doesn't have enough strength?
- You have a part of Andy's power in you, so how can you be so weak? - he mutters under his breath, being increasingly irritated.
But I can't control my laughter, and it makes me weak.
- Sorry, sunshine, but it's stuck too deep in your buttocks.
- I'm going to kill this insufferable brat.
Thomas, who passes by the room, bursts into loud laughter, letting Victor know that it was his doing.
- He sent Cupid to you.... Someone is playing filthy here," I say as I once again try to pull the arrow out of his ass. He gets enraged by my words and leaps forward, which helps me get rid of Cupid.
- He wants to play dirty, I guarantee him that.
He leaves the room, and I tilt my head as I accidentally tear the material of his pants.
- Why doesn't he wear pants? - I wonder aloud, but eventually, I shrug my shoulders, because I shouldn't care.
*
It's not even noon, and my Guardian Angel is pouring vodka down his throat, moving to the beat of a hip-hop song. Lisa lies on the couch, watching him with sad eyes. She rests her cheek on her hand, puffing out her lips occasionally.
- What's wrong with him? - I ask as I sit down by her feet, and she crinkles her eyebrows and kicks me in the butt. - Hey, what's that for?
- I need to take it out on someone.
- Why?
- Because he let Irene live with us to keep an eye on Garm. Otherwise, the dog would have to go back to hell.
My throat goes up. Has it gone to his head? This chick is the last person I want to see every morning after waking up.
- And he drinks because....
- He likes," she replies grimly.
Well, yes. Stupid question. I guess everyone knows by now that vodka is like water to him, and he can't live without it, pouring hectoliters into himself at all times of the day.
- It's been so many years, why don't you get over him, Lisa?
The redhead smiles sourly as she shifts her gaze to me.
- So what if it's a one-sided feeling? I won't just fall out of love with him since we live under the same roof. I see him every day, I know that he only treats me as a friend and I can't count on anything more, and yet I can't stop.
- What do you see in him? He's an alcoholic.
- Everyone has some weaknesses. I'm not perfect either, so I don't see his flaws.
I wrinkle my eyebrows because it sounds a bit obsessive.
- How did it happen that ... you know, you fell in love with him for amen.
Lisa looks at him with dreamy eyes.
- I was lost during our first meeting. It was something fantastic...
The beginning of the romantic story is spoiled by the appearance of the infernal nag. Tapping her high heels, she walks in, throwing her suitcases into the middle of the living room.
She stands slightly apart, and sticks her chin up as, she removes her black glasses from her nose.
- What is she putting down? Is she going to compete in Top Model? - I mutter under my breath, measuring her with my eyes.
- She tries to make a grand entrance to get attention, but unfortunately the slut is unlucky, because Andy doesn't even glance at her for a split second.
- Not even a dog is happy to see her," I add when I see Garm squeal and run off to the corner of the room.
- Since she's got a cleavage, even the dog doesn't like her.
Irene gives a significant grunt.
- I'm standing next to her and I can hear you sluts. - She rests her hands on her hips, looking at us with superiority.
- She has watched too many teenage movies. - Lisa snorts under her breath. - Trying to act like a school queen.
- She would fit the role of the school slut," I say mockingly, parrying with laughter along with my friend.
Andy turns off the music, and puts down his empty bottle of vodka, and a loud burp comes out of his mouth.
- I've already drunk, you're joining my house, so make yourself at home. There are a few vacant rooms left, so you can choose the one you like best.
Lisa opens her mouth in amazement, as the angel leans over and takes both suitcases in her hands, leading the brunette to the second floor. As we climb the stairs, she looks back and shows us the middle finger.
- I'm going to kill her," Lisa says in an angry voice.
- Don't worry, I'll help you if there's any way to remove this parasite.
*
In the evening I'm already tired of the guys' betting, when one by one they try to play dirty to get me.
It's obvious that I'll decide Victor in the end. Certainly, not that moron Thomas, who thinks that with seductive words, he will make me want to be his maid for the rest of the week.
I'm standing on the ocean shore, watching Cupids run merrily along the beach, accompanied by Victor. He is intent on catching the disobedient child who stuck an arrow in his butt this morning.
I smile slightly as he reaches the boy and lifts him up, threatening to throw him into the water, where the sharks will eat him.
Garm barks merrily, running for the stick that the snotty Lisa throws to him. She seemingly plays with the dog, but all the while she watches Andy, who is talking to Irene. They have more and more topics in common, which she doesn't like at all.
My gaze eventually falls on Thomas. He is standing nearby and watching me the whole time. I don't know if he is just using some tricks to win, but I won't give in to this annoying demon so easily.
No way. I will not allow myself to become his servant for any reason.
- Jennie's mom! - The corners of my mouth rise as Cupid runs to me and hugs my leg.
- What's wrong?
- Daddy Thomas is annoying. I don't like him.
- Did he do something to you? - I send the demon a warning look, before crouching down next to the child. - Did he say something to you?
- He stated that if I continue to be polite, he will skin me like chickens. - Cupid looks horrified. - He's just kidding, right?
I stroke his hair, and smile at him.
- He is stupid, so his jokes are on the same level. Don't listen to him.
- And that's why I love you the most, Mom Jennie. - The child hugs me, then pulls out a candy from his pampers. It does not look appetizing, but fortunately, it is wrapped in paper. - This is my expression of love for you.
- Really? - Cupid is waiting for me to unwrap the paper, and eat the candy in front of him, so I can't make him uncomfortable, and I just do.
- Be happy, Jennie's mom.
Too bad, I didn't realize at the time that it was a ruse, and that this asshole was so crafty, that he bribed even little angels.
I'm going to end up in hell eventually, since Thomas's nightmarish involvement in my life is only now gaining more momentum.