I had cooked already in a few hours. Jake was upstairs packing up for his trip. I don't know what Cal was doing, but I wish I knew. I tried as much as I could not to make the food very sweet because I would rather not draw attention to myself. But it didn't work out the way I planned, and I was embarrassed once again.
"Oh dear, Sidney!" You do not cease to amaze me with your cooking, Jake said as he chewed. Cal was seriously devouring the native rice, but never said a word.
I refused to join them at the dining table; I wanted to give myself brain. Do what I was hired to do, get paid and when I get another opportunity elsewhere, I quit! I feel so bad and used. Why did Cal do this to me?
"Sidney, I am leaving. I will be back in two weeks; I will continue to check up on you through Skype and WhatsApp. Take good care of yourself. I'm sure that Cal will make you feel at home" he turned to Cal and saluted. Cal saluted back, and they gave each other a warm hug. I noticed how he hesitated before hugging me. He wasn't sure of how I would react to it, but I let him hug me anyway. I just didn't return that warm embrace. I just wanted him to leave, so I could think about my life and the mess that I was in.
That night, after Jake had left, I ran to the room and shut the door. I ensured that the door was properly shut before relaxing on the bed. I don't know why I just didn't want to speak to Cal or even look at his face. I was hurt.
I couldn't even sleep properly. It was a new house and environment, it is usually difficult for me to adapt to a new environment. I stood up to look out the window, and then I heard a knock on the door.
"It's me, Cal. Are you awake?"
I wanted to answer him, but my heart won't let me. It feels really betrayed.
"I know you're awake, you shouldn't have slept off so soon. I know I owe you an apology, Sidney, I am deeply sorry. I think we need to talk this out. Please, can you come out? I'll be waiting for you at the dining table if you change your mind.
I heard his footsteps as he walked away from the door. Then I started contemplating what to do. Should I go out or ignore it? What do you suggest I do?
After a few minutes, I realized that I was living in his house and working for him, of course, if he didn't see me now, he would see me later, and we would still discuss what he wanted to do. Now that he is pleading, perhaps I should take out this opportunity and try a little gaslighting to hurt him as well. But what if, what if he's the one who plays mind games with me and gaslight me and hurt me the more? Anyway, I just need to guard my heart.
I gently went out of the room and to the dining table, he looked in my direction immediately after I started approaching, and he didn't stop looking at me until I sat. I felt so uncomfortable.
"I'm glad you came" he exhaled. "I know I was wrong, but I never planned for it to go this way. I do not believe in love at first sight but, when I first saw you, I felt something. But, I was to win you over for Jake and…" he exhaled, "the more I try to fight the feelings, the stronger they become. I didn't even know what came over me when I kissed you; I overstepped my boundaries and would have ruined my friendship. Now I am in a dilemma. A bigger mess, I have to see you every day, knowing fully well that we can't be together."
I didn't know what came over me, but I was tired of talking, so I kissed him.
He was very surprised.
"That's payback for kissing me," I said blushing.
******