"Legs feel…weird…" I groaned, admiring my uhhh, decidedly more human reflection in the mirror, looking at my long, slender, pantyhoed legs with genuine confusion. "I can't believe I'm more used to talons at this point…"
"You'll be OK, Rina," Hisoka assured me, gently patting me on the shoulder. While her face was as handsome as ever, it was bizarre seeing a version of her that wasn't nearly so immense. Don't get me wrong, she was still tall, but…well, within ordinary human levels of tall. "It'll come back to you soon. It's like riding a bicycle."
"That's more complicated than walking…" I shyly chuckled, curling a lock of long, fiery-red hair around my finger. "But yeah, I'll adjust, just…not used to this kinda glamouring, I suppose."
"A typical glamour spell wouldn't work on a body with power as great as Lord Suzume's. A more thorough disguise is needed, one that even you yourself cannot see through," came a familiar, cold voice, as my beloved coworker Yamada approached me and admired me closely, sizing me up like she was trying to spot flaws in a diamond, before folding her arms under her chest and nodding to herself. "And if I do say so myself, I've done a tremendous job. Anyone who sees either of you will be utterly convinced that they are gazing upon an ordinary, everyday human. Suzume insisted that it would never work, that she'd be caught out in an instant, but well…I think we can see where that excuse came from," she said, smiling sadly. Suzume's ruse had cut her deeply. It was awful to see.
Still, when it came to her work, she really wasn't kidding around. Somehow, in ways I couldn't even begin to understand, she'd hidden away my talons, tailfeathers, and everything that identified me as a demon, disguising me as a stylishly-dressed twenty-something human who looked more at home on a runway than on the throne. I shouldn't have doubted her, considering how effortlessly she hid away her very prominent arachnid features and convinced me she was human in the past, but even knowing she was in disguise, I couldn't see anything even slightly wrong with her appearance. There wasn't a trace of Radiata there, only Yamada.
Hisoka, too, was almost unrecognizable. Yamada's efforts had not only somehow cut her height down several feet, but completely hidden away that Hisoka was made of solid rock. Sure, she was still every bit as shredded, but clad in a tight leather jacket and even tighter jeans, she looked more like an ordinary punk than the decidedly extraordinary palace guard she really was. Not that her stunning looks had been even slightly diminished, mind. Yamada was a master, she had an eye for beauty and ensured that no part of our disguises detracted from that.
I'll be honest, I kinda wanted to go at it with us all like this right now, but…well, gotta stay on target. As much as it pains me to say it, there are much more important matters at hand than getting railed by my tall, powerful, oh so beautiful partners and…and just getting stuffed full and ohhhh wan wan wan~! Maybe just a quickie, just a few minutes and-
"Rina, you're drooling," Yamada groaned, whipping out a handkerchief and dabbing the side of my mouth.
"Ahaha, she's having a good time, that's all," Hisoka chuckled, wiping a small tear from her eye.
"L-look, I just haven't seen you in a while, Yamada! And Hisoka-"
"Himari, if anyone asks. And you're Lily today, Rina," Hisoka explained.
"Himari is so sexy that I-I…look, if we get a chance…"
Yamada let out a loud, tired sigh, and smiled softly. "At least you're in high spirits, Lily. I won't say that makes this easy to bear, but…well…"
I reached forward, and grabbed her hand.
"It'll be OK, Radiata," I said, making sure she knew who I was really talking to. "We'll fix this. I promise."
"Mm," she nodded. "I…I'll place my trust in you."
"And we won't squander it," Hisoka smiled. "Everything will be just fine in no time."
I smiled, took both girls by the hand, and walked them towards the portal we'd established in my private quarters.
"So let's get going," I said, giving both girls a reassuring squeeze. "We've got a date in the human realm, and I'd hate to keep Suzume waiting!"
❖❖❖
The day before, Adri had delivered a bombshell.
"She intends to keep your body, and live as Rina Saeki forevermore."
Radiata let out a loud, shocked gasp, and I turned to see a look of utter despair on her face. I…I couldn't say I didn't get it.
I held her hand as tightly as I could, while Hisoka rushed to her side to hold her close. I think we both knew that Radiata was taking this news worse than anyone else. I wanted, so badly, to do nothing but comfort her, but I couldn't do that until I got some answers.
"She…she wants to live as me? So…what, she's saddling me with kingship forever?!"
"That appears to be the intent, yes. Her status, her power, even her immortality matters not to her. Perhaps her intentions were pure at one point, but now, it's clear that she wishes for nothing more but to cut ties with her existence."
"Th-then…" Radiata shuddered. "A-all of it? Everything? All the progress she's made, all the connections she's formed. Even…even me…?"
"I'm so fuckin' sorry, Radiata…" Wakaba gritted her teeth. "This ain't fair at all…"
"B-but Suzu and I, we…" she pulled her hand away from mine, too stricken with grief to accept any warmth. "All that time we shared, every day, every moment, every smile… She wants to throw it all away…?"
"Radiata, Rina, I…" Hisoka trailed off, clearly unsure what to say. While Radiata was going through it, I hardly felt all that much better. I'd spent so long eager to get back to everyone I loved, only to hear that the woman who stole my body wanted to keep me away for good.
"Haku's hands are pretty tied, too. She passed along all this, sure, but there wasn't anything she could do to force it on her end that wouldn't make it worse. She doesn't wanna do anything that might hurt your body, an' she doesn't want Suzume wisin' up and hightailing it outta there. So she's keepin' the peace and makin' sure Suzume's good an' satisfied for the time bein'," Wakaba said, downing a huge swig of sake to keep her spirits up.
"But it's awful…" Inumi whined. "It's so unfair, why's she doing this to you?"
I gently pet Inumi's fur. She seemed to want to hug Radiata, but Radiata wasn't letting anyone in, no matter how well-intentioned.
"It's…It's OK, Inumi, we'll be OK," I assured her, not sure if I really felt that way. Honestly…I felt a little hopeless. I could run away, go back to my home no matter what body I'm in, but…I'd never truly be me, the succubus who Haqua branded one fateful night. And even if I could look past that…well, turning tail now would leave Radiata out in the cold. She'd been abandoned by someone she'd loved for so very long, I couldn't possibly just let her sit with all that pain. Did I want more of my partners and friends to know? Honestly…I'm not sure I really did. If I was stuck like this, that'd leave them living with someone they know isn't really me, but if they don't find out, then that means I'll have just been replaced.
Inumi was right. This was all so unfair.
This…this can't be the response you expected from me, can it? I wondered, looking at Adri. You can't have expected me to wallow in this, but…but what else am I meant to do?! I can insist on getting my body back, but I don't even know how to do that, and Suzume's already done so much damage that-
Radiata buried her face in her hands, and let out a loud, pained sob.
I looked at her, and saw a woman who felt like her life had come to an end. She'd had so much pulled out from under her, and no matter how cool and collected she could be, none of that helped in the face of loss this great.
I…I'm a mutt.
I'm a pathetic, useless, barking, yappy, selfish, awful mutt. All I ever want is to get fucked and humiliated and forget about everything else.
But I looked at Radiata, and felt just one thing: Resolve.
I stood up from my seat, looked down at Radiata, and hugged her tightly.
"Su-Suzu…? N-no, you're Rina, but…but…"
She wasn't in a good way. I had to help her, I had to be there for her.
"I'm here, Radiata. I'm here, it's OK," I told her, smiling softly. "Everything's OK, I promise."
"It's not," she insisted, her voice cracking in despair. "None of this is OK, Rina! You've lost your entire life, and I've been stripped of my reason for being! It's…it's horrible!"
"We haven't lost anything, Radiata," I told her, speaking softly. "We haven't, and we won't."
"Y-you're wrong…" she insisted, pushing me away in her anger. I…I couldn't blame her, honestly, she was hurting so, so bad. "There's nothing we can do to fix this. From the day I was born, my very existence has revolved around serving Lord Suzume. We've laughed, we've cried, we've grown and matured together, and until we met, she was the only person I could consider a true friend. I…I watched her grow distant, I watched her push me away, and I fought so hard to fix that. I captured you all for her sake, convinced it might help bring back the warmth I know burns within her breast, and…and then she did this. She turned her back on me. All my service, all my efforts, all my life has gone to waste, Rina!"
"It hasn't, Radiata, I swear," I told her, looking her dead in the eyes. "Maybe I'm naive, but I know that even now, she's grateful for everything you've done. All that hard work, all that warmth and care and love you put into everything you did for her, and for me, has mattered so damn much, so don't tell yourself it hasn't!"
"Then if they have, they're the reason she no longer sits on the throne!" she yelled, before choking out another sob, "and yet…despite it all, despite all this pain…"
She leaned forward, and hugged me tight.
"Why do I feel good about any of this, Rina?! Why am I happy to have been of use even though it served her to betray me?! How am I meant to handle any of these feelings?!"
I gently, slowly pet her hair.
"You still love her, don't you? Even now?"
"Even now. I'm certain that I always will," she said, holding back her tears as hard as she could. "But if all my efforts gave her a life so miserable that she'd resort to something like this to escape it, then how on earth can I be allowed to bear any of this love, Rina? All it will do is bring me more pain, I'm sure of it!"
I hugged her so, so tight.
"You're wrong, Radiata. Dead wrong."
"You couldn't be more off the mark if you tried," Hisoka loudly insisted, joining me in wrapping Radiata in her arms.
"I could tell right away that she trusts you with her life," I told her. "From the moment I met her, I could see exactly why you held her so dear, and just how lucky she was to have someone like you. There's no way she doesn't appreciate everything you've done."
"Mm, I've seen just how much she loves having you around. I've seen her wish she could admit that to you, too," Hisoka explained. "Her pride never allowed it, but you meant the world to her. I'm sure you still do."
"But-"
"If she, for even a second, thinks that you made her life miserable and not worth living, then I'll show her exactly how wrong she really is!" I insisted, sobbing as I held her close. "I don't know why things turned out this way, but if she's lost sight of just how loved she really is, then we'll have to be the ones to remind her! We'll make her see exactly what she'd lose by skipping out on life and leaving you behind, Radiata. We'll get her to remember everything she's trying to run away from, and I know she'll see what a dumbass she's been! I bet she'll be begging to return to you when this is all over!" I said, looking into Radiata's eyes and grinning confidently.
"But…but what if she doesn't…? What if she still hates it all, in the end? What if she still hates me?"
"Then we'll figure that out together, Radiata. All of it," Hisoka assured her.
"But…but why? Why are you being so nice to me…? Were it not for me, none of this would have happened," Radiata sobbed.
"Because we love you, Radiata. We love everything about you, and we'll never let you feel alone and lost ever again," I smiled at her. "I know it won't come to this, but if she turns her back on you, then that doesn't invalidate you, Radiata. That doesn't take away from what a kind, wonderful, strong demon you've become. And Hisoka and I'll do everything we can to show you that. If that means overturning hell itself, then I'll do it for you! Because you're never alone, and you'll never have to carry this burden without us, Radiata. No matter what."
"But we can't do this without you, Radiata," Hisoka smiled softly. "We'll do everything we can, but well, we need you to take the first step together. We can't show Suzume what she's missing if that doesn't involve you."
"M-me…?" she asked, sniffling as she wiped away her tears.
"You."
I stood up, and held my hand out for her. "So c'mon, Radiata. This pain sucks, but we won't let it keep us down, will we? Let's take it all in, run through all the bad feelings we've got flowing through us, and turn it into the foundation for a brighter future, together."
Nobody should ever have to suffer like this. Nobody should deal with heartache this intense, or spend so much of their life being so ground down that they forget how to feel. Nobody should have to feel like years and years of their life have gone to waste, ruined by things beyond their control.
But just as my empty life spurred me to summon Haqua, well…
Sometimes hitting a breaking point is exactly what we need to pick ourselves back up again.
And I knew that Radiata could do it.
She hesitated, clearly unsure of herself as she fought through a mountain of feelings far beyond her control. But that was OK. I'd be patient, I'd let her take as long as she needed to-
!!
She took my hand, and squeezed it tightly.
"Alright," she nodded. "If it's alright with you, then…"
She hugged both of us tightly.
"I'll place my trust in you, and fix this by your side."
I smiled, and let out a small puff of air through my nose.
"Of course, Radiata."
"We'd like nothing more," Hisoka added.
I heard a small giggle, and turned to see Adri smiling up at me.
"Just as I thought. I knew you wouldn't let this defeat you."
"Ain't ever had a doubt. Call yerself pathetic all ya want, I know you can deliver the goods when yer back's against the wall," Wakaba smirked, taking a celebratory drink.
"Your bite's just as strong as your bark!" Inumi grinned, her tail wagging like crazy.
"Let's hang out again soon, you three. Let's get the whole family together, in fact, because the next time you see me," I grinned, feeling every bit as cocky as a king should, "I'll be a loser dog, through and through!"
❖❖❖
"So this is your home, huh? Whew, it's quite a sight…" Hisoka, or rather Himari whistled, gazing up at the tall buildings that surrounded her. "Everything's huge…"
"High praise from a nurikabe," I chuckled, patting her on the back. "When you don't have all that much space, you pack in everything as tall and close as possible. Maybe some folks'd find that cramped, but to me, it's paradise, honestly."
Maybe I wouldn't have felt quite so strongly in the past, but now, walking the streets I'd been away from for far, far too long, I knew that I was well and truly home.
Fuck, I'd missed it.
"I admit," Yamada started, "I hated it when I first came here. I wanted nothing more than to return to the castle and stand at Suzume's side."
"And now?"
"There's an appeal," she smiled softly. "After all, I can't bring myself to hate the place that raised you."
I wasn't sure whether to bark or cry, either way, she'd made my heart pound like a jackhammer.
"Ah, but stay away from the parks, Himari. They're terrifying…"
"Eh? Why?"
"Deathtraps, every one of them," she insisted.
I laughed, and took them both by the hand. No matter what guise she used, she was still Radiata, without a doubt.
"We popped out a little ways from my apartment, but that's OK. We'll catch a train, and-"
A delicious smell wafted towards us, and my gaze was pulled toward a nearby bakery, the sight of creampuffs through the windows damn near drowned me in my own drool. God, they looked so tasty…
My stomach let out a ridiculously loud growl, and I changed course.
"A-and maybe we'll get a bite to eat first…" I mumbled. "Can't fight on an empty stomach, y'know?"
"Yes yes," Yamada sighed. "I know far better than to argue with that appetite…"
"And I'm pretty eager to try the food here myself," Himari admitted, bashfully. "Might be worth trying a few places too, just to take the edge off."
"Th-then we're in agreement!" I cried, hurriedly pulling them towards the bakery. "We'll eat, then we'll take care of everything! It'll go great!"
Suzume's body was absolutely a hurdle right now, completely distracting me from a goal I should've been laser-focused on, but even so…if it gave me one last date with these two before I returned to being me, then I guess I couldn't be too mad. Creampuffs taste better when you're hungry, but they're best when they're shared.
And I was so happy to have these two to share them with.
❖❖❖
Even at my lowest, the sight of my apartment door had always brought with it a ton of relief. When work was hell, it was an escape from my malaise. When my life turned around, it was a place where I knew that friendly faces would be waiting for me, ready and willing to collar me, tease me, and remind me just how loved I really was.
And yet now, looking at the door set awkwardly in its frame, I felt none of that at all. How could I? Just look at me, the pretty redhead flanked by two gorgeous, taller women was a far, far cry from the runty OL who called this place home.
I was just a stranger. I didn't belong, and that thought made me feel ill, honestly. A part of me was scared, begging me to turn around and go home, but that only made me realize, with no small degree of horror, that I was thinking of the castle that way. I wanted to curl up beneath my luxurious, silky sheets and be tended to by Hell's greatest maid and strongest bodyguard. I wanted to dress up in kingly finery, enjoy a fine feast, and tend to each and every one of my subject's wishes, as a king should do.
And that, of course, made me realize that it hadn't just been my body that had changed. I was still me, and I always would be, but what being me even meant had shifted. My time as a king had irrevocably changed how I view the world and my place in it, if only just a little. If this kept up, if I couldn't fix things today, then what would happen? Would I forget what it meant to be a commoner entirely? Would I treat my life as Rina Saeki as some foreign, distant thing, and become Lord Suzume, through and through?
And would Suzume, too, feel the same about being royalty? Hell, she might already be more of a loser dog than me.
Maybe it'd be better to stay this way. Maybe it'd be easier for everyone, in the end.
"But still," I whispered. "I want to go back."
I wanted to fix this. I wanted to be with my partners again, I wanted to make Radiata smile. I wanted to wear my stupid suits that make me look like a kid playing dressup. I want to lust over how damn good Iori looks, and get lunch with Rhody and Shizuku. I want to tell Mio just how proud I am of her, and I want to wake up In Haqua's arms. I want all of them to collar me, leash me, and make me feel like an absolute mutt.
I wanted to belong in this shitty, tiny, cramped apartment again.
"We're with you, Rina," Hisoka assured me.
"No matter what," Radiata smiled.
No disguises, no aliases. They were talking to me, and I was looking back at them.
And when I thought about that, all the hesitation I felt completely faded away.
I gave a small nod, and knocked on my door.
I listened out for footsteps, but the apartment was magically soundproofed. I couldn't tell who was coming to answer, if anyone was. For all I knew, the place could be empty right now. Shit, that'd be a fine way for this to go. After all that, we'd just have to sit around like morons, waiting for one of the girls to get home.
I froze solid as the door cracked open, and a sultry voice greeted my ears.
"Now that's funny," a certain blue-skinned demon, clad in a loose, comfortable sweater dress chuckled, "I wasn't expecting any company today. And if you're trying to sell us something, well, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. There isn't a lie I can't see through, and certainly no scam I'll ever fall for."
"Ha…qua…?" I choked out the words, leaving my throat strained, small, and weak. I barely even heard them, in truth, but she did. Oh, I knew she did.
"Now, this certainly isn't a face I recognize," Haqua cooed, reaching forward and cupping my cheek, gazing right into my eyes. "Not that someone as gorgeous as you is anything close to unwelcome, of course."
D-does she know it's me? Sh-she doesn't, does she? Even to Haqua, I'm just a stranger…
I wanted to break down and cry. I was so fucking happy to see her, I couldn't even begin to handle it, and yet, I had no idea if she was happy to see me. She was smiling, sure, but she was smiling at Lily, the stranger who'd stopped by her home. Did she recognize me under any of that.
"H-Haqua, I- My name's Lily, and-"
"Come now, dear, such a pretty girl hardly deserves to have her face stained with tears, don't you think?" she laughed, leaning in close, gently wrapping her arms around me, and whispered in my ear. "And after all this time, I'd much rather see my pet wear a smile."
She knows! She knows it's me!!
Fuck! Fuck, I love her so much!
No matter what I looked like, no matter what disguise I wore, there was no fooling Haqua. She was my owner, my mistress, my partner, and she'd always recognize her mutt.
How could I not smile at that?
"I missed you so much, Haqua…"
"Me too, dear, me too," she cooed, gently petting my hair. "But you're back now, you're with me."
"I-I am, but…"
"You've got some work to do, yes?" she asked, pulling back and smiling at the three of us. "And I see you've brought friends, too. No doubt our family's grown even bigger, hmm?"
"You always were annoyingly perceptive…" Yamada grumbled.
"And you're every bit as charming as ever, Miss Maid. Still, if you've made Lily happy, then I owe you a great deal," Haqua chuckled.
"Indeed, it's…it's good to see you, truly," Yamada nodded, and smiled softly.
"I'm touched!" she smirked, before turning her attention to Himari. "I can't say I recognize you, but well, we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other. I can hardly wait…" she said, licking her lips hungrily.
"...Please take care of me, Ma'am," Himari nodded, rubbing the back of her neck and smiling bashfully. "I'll bring a gift next time I come by."
"'Ma'am', she says! Oh, I like her!" Haqua laughed loudly. "Such a polite girl, who knows what untold desires lie beneath that, hmm? We'll have to bring so much out of both of you…"
Himari blushed, while Yamada clearly wanted to argue, but I could tell they both loved this, deep down. Fuck, I wanted to keep going so badly. I was sure that if things stayed this way, we'd all be fucking in no time at all. I could enjoy myself with Haqua the way I'd been desperate to, all this time.
But as much as it sucked to admit…I had more important things to deal with.
"Haqua, I…I, well…"
I couldn't look her in the eye, til she lifted me by the chin and forced my gaze to meet her.
"You've got important business, haven't you, Lily?" she asked, smiling softly. I…I know Haqua. Much as she tries to hide her feelings, I can tell when there's something behind her ever-present smirk. It was obvious that she'd been struggling too, and that for as much as she played it cool, she'd missed me a great deal. I was sure she wanted to go at it too, to make all the time that had passed with us apart just melt away in each other's embrace.
But she couldn't accept it, not just yet. She wanted me to go for it.
"I do, with…with Rina Saeki," I nodded, steeling myself. "Is anyone else around? I'd…I'd prefer if they didn't see this."
"Just the two of us," Haqua nodded. "Rina's asleep, but I'm sure she'll be delighted to have company, so feel free to wake her."
"Got it," I responded. Pushing through my heart's furious pounding as I stepped into the apartment, hoping that it'd feel like mine again soon.
"Don't hold back a thing, OK? I'll hold you two to that as well, leave nothing unsaid," Haqua called after us.
"We wouldn't dream of it, not now," Radiata smiled, while Hisoka gave a small nod.
The apartment really was tiny. Haqua had done all sorts of magical renovations to make it adequate for the ever-growing list of girls who seemed intent on using my bed basically every night, but it'd always feel at least a little cramped, littered with minutia from lives full of love. Manuscripts piled high in the corners, mountains of games that Haqua tore through with inhuman speed, spare suits for Iori and Rhody when they stayed here, and a collection of collars everyone had bought for…for me.
Guh, I can't believe I'm getting emotional over my collars.
I felt ready to collapse, feeling weaker and weaker as I drew closer to the bedroom, but I couldn't hesitate, not now.
I took a deep breath, and stepped inside.
The sight of my own body sleeping happily felt…Fuck, it felt wrong. It felt baffling seeing myself as though it was someone else entirely. It felt deeply irritating to see that body and briefly, just for a second, think that a runt like her paled in comparison to a king like me.
I needed to fix this. I had to. One look at Yamada and Himari- no, Radiata and Hisoka's nervous expressions made it clear that this couldn't stand.
"Oi, mutt," I spat, more anger bubbling to the surface than I realized. Radiata winced, but…I couldn't keep it in, not even for her. "We need to talk."
"Bweh…?"
Suzume, the one who stole my body, blearily stirred for a while, before looking up at me with a completely befuddled expression.
"...The hell are you?"
I couldn't help but chuckle. Radiata's disguises nearly fooled Haqua, but they'd completely duped the owner of this body.
"Oh, I think you know," I grinned, crouching down to her side, looking her right in the eye. "Lord Suzume."
"Rina Saeki?!"
She let out a loud, shocked gasp, then backed away as far as she could, tumbling right off the bed.
"Guh! Owowow…" she moaned, rubbing a spot just above her butt. "Th-the hell are you doing here, anyway?! This is my apartment! You can't just barge in, and-"
"Hoo, living as a mutt's done a number on you. Not an ounce of regality to anything you're doing," I chuckled, flipping my hair over my shoulder as I took a seat in front of her. "Done a number to both of us, really, but as it turns out, that's always been the point, hasn't it? To lock us in each other's lives until any thoughts of going back just fade away forever. Is that it?"
Suzume's cheeks turned an even deeper red.
"I-I dunno what you're talking about! I don't even know who you are! I'm Rina Saeki, you're just some stranger who barged into my place, and-"
"My Lord, please," Radiata spoke up. "Please, don't hide behind a lie, not now. Whatever comes of this, please, at least face it with sincerity."
"R-Radiata?" she squeaked. "Wait, I was wondering how she left hell! Don't tell me you brought her here, Radiata! Y-you vowed to make her adhere to my life until I returned."
"So I did," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "But it's become clear that you no longer intend to return, if you ever did. It…it pains me greatly to defy you, but I see no other available courses of action."
"We serve the king, but at present, the king is Rina Saeki," Hisoka insisted. "Our allegiance isn't so frivolous as to change on a dime, but at times like this, well…"
Suzume scoffed.
"Oh I see how it is… So what? You're turning everyone against me, is that it? Come to take me down for what I did? Too bad! You even try and you're just condemning yourself to life as a king, duuuumbass!" she spat, sticking out her tongue at me
Hoo fuck, y-you're kinda owning the brat thing. You make it look good, honestly…
N-no, don't get distracted! Not now, not now!
I suppose my own stupid thoughts were a good sign that I, too, was still a mutt. That was reassuring, honestly.
"We haven't come here to take you down, moron. I'm pissed off, of course I am, but we came here to help you. To help all of us, really."
"Oh, like hell you are," Suzume stood up, clearly getting ready to bolt. "You're just gonna try and force me back on the throne, and-"
"Mutt, sit," came Haqua's voice from the bedroom door. In an instant, Suzume planted herself back down on the floor, letting out a little surprised, obedient-
"Wan wan! Mm, anything you say, Mistress! I- W-wait, no, now's not the time!"
Oh good, her brain's a mess now, too. Glad it's not just me.
"These are my guests, and you'll treat them with respect. They need to talk to you, and you will listen to every word. Is that clear?"
"I-I'm not going back, no matter what they say!" she said. "I live here, so-"
"I don't care where you live. You're my mutt either way, and you will not disobey me. These girls might hesitate to kill you, but I most certainly won't, no matter how much of Radiata's ire it might earn me."
Radiata clenched her fist, but couldn't bring herself to say anything.
"F-fine," she grumbled, looking up at me. "We'll talk, but as soon as we're done, you're gone, OK? Back to Hell, far away from me."
"My Lord…" Radiata murmured.
"I'm not your lord. The big girl said it already, you serve her now, not me…" Suzume grumbled, her words cutting right through Radiata.
"I-I…" Radiata trembled, and Hisoka took her by the hand.
Thank you, Hisoka.
"What happened, Suzume?" I asked. "Why'd you resort to this? Why'd you steal my whole damn life away, huh?"
"I'm a king, and as a demon, anything that is yours is mine. It's as simple as that."
"Oh, screw that," I spat. "You're way more selfish than I first thought, but I've seen your subjects. If you really treated all demons so disposable, they'd be way less happy than they all are. Gimme a real answer. What was it that pushed you this far, and why me? And don't you dare spin some shit about investigating this realm. If that was ever true, it sure didn't matter much."
She clearly didn't want to answer, but at the sight of Haqua blocking the bedroom door, she knew that she had to.
"...It seemed freeing… Becoming a demon with no ties to the land I've spent countless years cultivating. I'm told that all of Hell is mine, and at some point, my reign felt like nothing so much as a chain around my neck, binding me to a life without even the slightest freedom. I…I can't stand it."
"You…you truly hate it so?" Radiata asked. "Every day we've shared, they've all been nothing but miserable for you, Suzume?"
Suzume bit her lip, she couldn't bring herself to answer.
"From the very moment I was born, I was raised to rule, and…and rule I have. I've cared for each and every demon in my kingdom, done everything I could to make sure that not a single one of them struggled with the unhappiness that…that tore at me, frankly."
"Suzume…" Radiata whispered, her voice cracking.
"Everyone loves you, Suzume," I told her. "There isn't a single demon I saw who didn't view you as anything less than a hero. You've done right by all of those people, and they want to do right by you, too. You've spent enough time in this realm to know that that's not how this usually goes. Most rulers would work for themselves and nobody else, but you've tirelessly strived to better everyone else's lives. You're…you're incredible, you know that? Not a single person here would say otherwise."
"She's right. You don't know me, Lord Suzume but-"
"S-stop saying that! Stop calling me a lord…" Suzume whimpered. "I hate it, I hate it so much. I don't…I don't want…"
Hisoka looked completely thrown for a moment, before her expression softened, and she reached down to rest a hand on Suzume's head.
"I won't say it again. Would you prefer Suzume, or Rina?"
"...Wh-whatever you're used to…" she muttered, completely caught off-guard by her kindness.
"Then Suzume, if that's OK. But you just tell me if that hurts too, OK?"
"...Fine," Suzume mumbled.
"I've worked as a royal guard for some time now, and…and I hate violence, you know that? If I had my way, there'd be no weapons in all of Hell, but somehow, when I started working under you, my spear felt less like a weapon and more like a symbol of the pride I felt standing by your side, Suzume, something I wield to ensure that everyone in Hell can live in peace. I don't think you need me, honestly. Hell's a wonderful place thanks to you, but even so, I'll keep giving my all to the job, because…if I had to guess, you'd tell me that I'm not half as unnecessary as I think."
"Every one of my…of the king's guards is invaluable to…her. That anyone would be so devoted to someone like that is incredible. There's no greater sign of prosperity."
"But you don't really feel that, do you?" Hisoka asked.
"I appreciate everyone in my employ! Really, I do! I-"
"I'm not calling that into question," Hisoka laughed. "But you're sick of having people devoted to you, aren't you?"
Suzume froze. Hisoka had seen right through her. I had to say something.
"You've been real lonely, huh? You feel like there's nobody who really sees you as a friend. An equal."
"D-don't act like you know me…"
"C'mon, you shove me into your life for this long and you tell me I don't? I know you better than most people ever could. Just like I know that you know me. And you know just how badly I miss what you've got right now. I…I felt a lot of that, y'know? That loneliness, that feeling that nobody really saw me as a person. It sucks, it's awful. I…I hated it."
"And you want to send me back to that, is that it?!" she barked. "You want me to be miserable while you get to live surrounded by loved ones, huh? How's any of that fair?!"
"Because I realized that that's not true!" I yelled back. "You're not half as alone as you think you are, Suzume! You've never been alone, not for a damn second!"
"Yes I have! Every single connection I have was borne out of loyalty to the crown. There's nobody who will ever truly see me as long as I sit on the throne!"
"She's right here, dammit!" I growled, pointing at Radiata. "She's right in front of you, and you're acting like she doesn't exist!"
Suzume froze. When I heard Radiata's gentle sobs behind me, I understood why.
You've never seen her like this, have you?
"Radiata's spent every single day watching over you! Every damn day she's been on my case, making sure I even half measure up to you, and I never will, because to her, there's nobody who'll ever be anywhere near as amazing as you!"
"That's…" she paused for a moment, then balled up her fists. "That doesn't change a thing! Radiata's only with me because she was raised to stand by me! Of course she cares about me and my image, that's her job. Were it not for that, she'd-"
"Y-you're wrong!" she spat. "All my life I have strived to always see your point of view, to understand where you're coming from and assist in carrying out your judgment. Maybe I have held you up on a pedestal, because I always felt that you were infallible, that any decision you made, and any conclusion you reached, was surely, undeniably correct. And yet this time away from me has made clear everything I've always known about you, Suzume! You're a selfish brat who takes all the love that surrounds you for granted, who turns it all into a reason to sulk and pout and make awful decisions with no regard for who they affect!"
"R-Radiata?" Suzume blushed furiously, more confused than annoyed at the sudden, insulting turn Radiata had taken.
"And yet, that's the side of you I love the most, because it's you at your most honest, Suzume!"
"L-love?!"
Oi, Radiata, you sure you meant to say that part?!
Now it was Radiata's turn to blush like crazy, but she kept on talking.
"Yes, my position brought us together, and yes, at first I regarded you with all the distance I should show a king, but…but that hasn't been true for years, Suzume! Every day I've spent tending to you has brought me more joy than I could ever express, because I love you, Suzume, and want to spend each day with you by my side! It's been so hard lately, you've done your best to push me away, but…but I refuse to let your self-loathing consume you! I don't care if you're a king or a mutt, as long as you stay you, Suzume! So please…please don't run away from yourself. Please don't cast aside everything that makes you who you are. I…I need you…"
Radiata was pouring her heart out, and it clearly hurt her. She was trembling, struggling to hold onto the composure that had always defined her. But it all came from a place of desperation and intense, burning desire. She wanted, so badly, to hold the woman she held dear, and bring her the love and happiness she'd struggled to feel all this time.
I was sure she'd manage it, too. There was no way she wouldn't reach Suzume's heart.
"I…Radiata, I…" Suzume trembled, unsure what to say, or where to begin.
"Please… Just come back, Suzume. We'll make it better, we'll ensure that you never have to hide your true self away, that you'll be recognized for who you really are, and not the image you feel you have to project. You'll see just how loved you are for being you, Suzu," Radiata said, holding out a hand for her king. "I'll make sure you never have to suffer again, I swear it."
Suzume raised a hand, reaching out for Radiata.
Thank you, Radiata.
You've done it. You've fixed this.
And yet, just as their fingers were about to touch, Suzume pulled back.
"Suzu…?" Radiata gasped, her eyes widening in shock.
"R-Rina. I'm Rina Saeki now, Radiata. And you," she pointed right at me, "are Lord Suzume, the Demon King, as it shall always be."
"B-but why?!" I barked. "You want to go back, don't you?! You want to be with Radiata, right?!"
"I-I can't. I can't!" she yelled. "I can't go back to a life like that, no matter what. The pressure will kill me. It has killed me, yet no matter how many times I die, I'll always be trapped on the throne. I…I forsook that life, and I can't ever go back."
"But…Suzu-"
"RINA!" she yelled. "I'm Rina! I'm not Suzume, and I'm certainly not Suzu! It doesn't matter how much I want to go back, that spell was permanent! Our souls will always be tied to these bodies, no matter what honeyed words you throw at me! So…so leave! This is my life now, and it always will be!"
I felt like I'd been punched in the face. I was in a daze, completely stunned by what I'd just heard.
"P-permanent…" I muttered, gazing down at Suzume's hands.
My hands, forevermore.
"Rina…"
The voice I heard calling for me from the bedroom door made my heart sink.
There was Mio, looking at me in complete and utter disbelief, with Iori and Rhody right behind her.
"Rina, that's…that's you?" Mio asked.
"Wait, that's Rina?!" Rhody gasped.
"I've known for a little while," Iori admitted. "But…but if what I just heard is true, then…"
"That… I didn't want to face that possibility, but…"
Even Haqua looked stunned. I'd never seen her confidence so shaken before.
Suzume couldn't face anyone. Her secret was out.
"We had an agreement, didn't we?" she mumbled. "You said you'd leave when we were finished, right?"
"But-" Hisoka started, only to get cut off immediately.
"There's nothing else to say, and nothing else for me to hear. This is us now. This is my apartment, so please leave."
"Suzu, please…" Radiata sobbed.
She tensed up, clearly ready to argue, but she said nothing.
The truth was obvious. She was Rina now, and I…I…
"Let's go, Himari, Yamada," I muttered, getting up to my feet and trudging towards the door. Both of them hesitated, but soon understood how futile it really was.
"R-Rina! Wait a sec, at the book signing, was that-?" Mio tried to stop me, but I just walked on by.
"I don't believe we've met before," I said, looking back and smiling softly. "My name's Lily, miss. Rina Saeki is right there, waiting for you."
"Rina, come now, this is no time for-" Haqua reached out to grab my hand, but I pulled away.
"It's best if you all forget me," I told them. "I'm just a passing stranger. That's all."
I could tell they were all hurt, but…but that was inevitable. I knew what I was saying would cut deep, but…this was for the best. Anything further would just bring about so much more pain. I couldn't abandon the throne, I couldn't leave Radiata and Hisoka after they'd lost their king. My life was well and truly gone, yet Mio, Haqua, Rhody and Iori would always have a Rina Saeki near. She could bring them a happiness that I no longer could.
I'm the Demon King, I have no business in a place like this.
I turned and headed out the apartment, refusing to look back even as my- no, Rina Saeki's partners called out for me.
Not a word was shared between me or my partners as we walked back to the portal to Hell. This might be my last time on Earth, but, well, that was fine. My people needed me, and I intended to be there for them.
The castle had been my home for some time now, and yet, as I made my way to my chambers and collapsed into bed, it had never felt quite so unfamiliar to me before.