I watch Jackson as we sit at the dining room table. He is talking to his man. His voice and facial expression show that he is mad as hell. He clutches the phone so tightly in his hand that I fear he will eventually gain so much strength that he will break it in half.
- He sacrificed Suzy as a mole, and now he doesn't care what happens to her! - he shouts, and I take a bite of a carrot, trying not to munch it too loudly so as not to anger him even more. - What a motherfucker! - I can't get used to Jackson cursing. - It doesn't make sense... let Suzy out. He is the type of person who actually isn't concerned about the fate of others. Nothing will be gained from this.
He puts the phone down on the table and combed his hair, looking at me with tired eyes.
- Are you all right? - I ask him.
- Nothing is fine. I'm afraid I might lose this fight. The difference between me and this bastard is that I worry about my people, while he doesn't give a damn about them. Because of this, I'm at a loss.
- No. The difference between the two of you is that you are human, and he is a monster.
With these words, I bring a smile to Jackson's face.
- I imagined him as a Chupacabra. He is capable of sucking the blood from his victims.
I am surprised when he grabs my hand, which I hold on the table-top, and embraces it in his grip.
- All these years I needed you, Alice. I'm glad you finally came back to me.
I didn't expect her to say that. Since our reunion, Jackson has been acting strangely, and now I feel as if he has begun to open up to me.
- I, on the other hand, miss your carefree attitude. I miss the man who gave a damn about everything and was beaming every day.
- I miss that too, but I can't be like that again because of all that has happened. Maybe the day will come when I will regain my carefree spirit, but as long as I have an enemy at my back, I can't live peacefully.
- You used to be able to die at the hands of lackeys, and you didn't give a damn.
- That has changed since I met you. I want to live ... for you. Even when you weren't by my side, I would rather not give up to have a chance to meet you again.
It makes my heart-warmer.
- What are you going to do, Jackson? How do you want to defeat him?
- I'm ashamed to admit it, but right now, I have no idea. I thought Suzy could be a bargaining chip, but.... he really doesn't care about her life at all.
- Or maybe he purposely stated so because he knew you would let her go?
- No... he said we could kill her even currently, and he would be happy to listen to her screams filled with pain. He called her a useless bitch.
It makes me sick to my stomach. I think about what would happen if I were the one to fall into the hands of the enemy. If I were the bargaining chip, I would undoubtedly die in suffering.
This man is a heartless bastard for whom human life has no value.
- Don't let me end up in his hands. I am terrified," I say in a frightened voice. He squeezes my hand even tighter.
- I would have to be a corpse for this to happen. I will never let that happen, Alice.
- Do you promise?
-I promise.
*
I hate lying to my friend, which is why my heart hurts every time I receive a call from him. Putting bullshit on him and assuring him that everything is fine with me is the worst demon I have to serve.
That's the case this time, too, as I hold the cell phone to my ear, listening to Kai's stories about what's currently going on in the company.
- You're getting along, aren't you? - I ask him when he finally sighs loudly.
- Yes, but it's hard. I would rather not say it out loud, but I need you, Alice.
I realize that. Until now, I was the one who took care of all the business. And I feel stupid that I had to leave it all on Kai's head, sitting idly in Jackson's house and worrying about me falling into the hands of his enemy.
- I promise I'll be back soon. Hang on a little longer. I can count only on you.
- I know you require rest. I'm not pressuring you, Alice.
- Nevertheless, I feel silly for sucking up to you. It's not right what I did.
- Give me a break. Friends are there to help each other in the most difficult moments. I wouldn't dare to be angry with you. I have been nothing but worried since the beginning.
Furthermore, I smile at the corner of my mouth.
- For the rest of my life, I won't be able to repay you for what you do for me.
- You are right. Too much of it has accumulated.
A knock sounds at the door of my room. After swinging it open, I notice that it's Jackson, who has some business to attend to.
- Sorry, Kai, but I have to go. Someone knocks on the door. I suspect it's a servant with the breakfast I ordered for the room.
I say goodbye to him and hang up, looking at the brunet's amused look.
- Servant? So, now I'm your servant?
- Don't take those words seriously. I had to end the conversation with my friend somehow. - I watch him as he comes inside and sits down next to me on the bed. - Is something wrong?
- I think about the fact that we should de-stress.
At that moment, he reminded me so much of Jackson, with whom I fell in love as a teenager. His radiant, wonderful smile makes my heart beat faster.
- Are you serious?
- After all, we won't be hiding in a hole like frightened mice.
- It reminds me of the days when you used to walk carefree on the street without fear of encountering usurers.
- Exactly. I want to live my life again. And so I have no idea how to defeat the enemy.
- And, as usual, I've been dragged into it. - Jackson grabs my hand and leads me to the exit. - Where are you taking me?
- To the place where our first date didn't take place because I was beaten.
*
I guess I'm being overly sentimental because a tear rolls down my eye as I get off my motorcycle and see in front of me the amusement park where I waited for Jackson a few years ago. He didn't make it because he was beaten up by usurers.
We are now not in the city where we live, but where we met.
- Is it enough for us to forget the gray reality for the next few hours?
I smile at Jackson as I grasp his hand. I feel like saying out loud that his mere presence makes me forget the gray reality even if he is the one who dragged me into the swamp again, but I keep it in my heart.
- I hoped that we would still be able to go to the amusement park someday. Thank you for making my silent dream come true.
I don't let go of his hand as we head toward the entrance. My attention is caught by a booth with charming headbands. For myself, I choose one with a white bow, while I put him one with bunny ears on his head.
They fit him perfectly, especially when he smiles.
I'm surprised when, without a word, he starts pulling me towards the roller coaster.
- Haven't you watched "Deceive Destiny"? Coming here, I was thinking of having fun on the small and cute machines, not on the biggest monster of the place.
- You need to become immune to monsters.
- You didn't comfort me at all. You claimed we had to de-stress.
I don't need to look in the mirror to know that I'm turning white as chalk when I'm properly secured in the seat and the machine starts moving and slowly climbing.
- The most important thing is to overcome fear," says Jackson, before plummeting downward. A shrill scream escapes from my throat, and he laughs beside me like crazy. He's delighted, while I'm close to giving up the ghost.
Never again, I think.
My legs buckle under me as the ride comes to an end, and I step out of the machine. Jackson has to hold my hand, or else I'll land on the ground.
- Are you all right? You're green in the face. - His voice sounds caring, though his lips stretch in a smile.
- I will never come to the amusement park with you again. My quiet dream has become a nightmare.
I am surprised when he puts his arm around me and pulls me close. Lately, Jackson has been getting too bold with me. It reminds me of the hookups he used against me when I was a teenager.
- I won't take you to the sweets now because I'm afraid that in this state you might return everything, so my idea is that we should take a ride on the children's carousel. The horses will be suitable for you, won't they, Alice?
He is teasing me. He thinks that I'm such a beatitude that a carousel for the youngest guests of the amusement park is suitable for me.
- Great! If you think so, let's go ride the horses.
When we find ourselves on the children's carousel, it seems to me that he is more excited than I am. At this point, he is so true to himself that I can't stop smiling. He waves his arms, shouts cheerfully and makes all the people around him laugh.
- For a moment, though, a person can feel like a child," he announces as we walk toward the ice cream shop.
- I'm glad that you can still have so much fun, although you are in danger.
- You're the one I needed to be carefree again," he declares, once again putting his arm around my shoulder and squeezing me tightly.
I can't control how hard my heart is beating. His closeness makes all the old feelings hit me twice as hard.
Because of him, the sky can collapse, and I will still be happy because I have him by my side.
I watch people while he orders ice cream for us. My lips stretch into a smile as he hands me strawberry wafer balls.
- Did you remember that this is my favorite flavor?
He doesn't answer me, and only moves his eyebrow quizzically.
His phone starts ringing. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that it's his right hand. He answers the call, apologizing to me beforehand.
- I told you not to bother me. I'm out of town... - He pauses in mid-sentence, and I think he pales in the face. - What do you mean Suzy is dead? - His voice breaks down.
Even though it's warm, I get such chills that I stop eating my ice cream. With my eyes wide open, I look at Jackson, disbelieving what I just heard.
Suzy is dead...