I sit on the grass and look at the starry sky with sad eyes. Somewhere in the distance, I hear the shouts of running boys, who are probably chasing a disobedient friend. At a neighbor's house a dog is fiercely barking, who is irritated by the noise, and I just ponder the meaning of life. About the fact that, being only seventeen, I have already been through so much by my mother. She destroyed me. She managed to do this because I am mentally weak.
I take in all the words too quickly, and I suffer because of it. I can't ignore another person's hostility, which comes with unimaginable ease to others. Furthermore, I envy them for this.
Through all this, am I able to pick myself up and cope in the future? I realize how hard it is to leave all the painful memories behind, but I would really like to be able to forget all this pain; to meet a person who will love me because I have never experienced this in my life, and, above all, I want to be happy for the next years.
Is this meant for me? I desire nothing more than to meet a man who will love me with all his heart. I would like him to replace parental love at least to some extent and be caring towards me, and above all, to show me this affection.
This is what I want most, but will luck finally smile on me and allow me a little joy?
I may hate my mother after the way she treated me for seventeen years, but I still look forward to the day she comes back. Does she at least plan to do so?
I would like then to gather my courage and shout in her face exactly everything that is on my heart.
I wish.
Summer is fast approaching, so the nights are getting warmer. I feel good under the open sky, so I don't feel like going back to my room, but I have to get up for school in the morning, so I have no choice.
I turn my back to the wicket, and then I clearly hear someone stop at it and breathe heavily. I look over my shoulder and see a boy who, bent in half, is holding his hands in his lap. He is trying to normalize his breathing. He looks exhausted.
Likewise, he lifts his face, which shows a grimace of fatigue, and I open my mouth in astonishment when I recognize him. Brown hair shines in the lamplight, and there are earrings in his left ear, it's impossible....
He turns his head toward me and looks at me intently for a moment. He energetically straightens up as hope for rescue appears in his eyes.
- I beg you, help me.
I blink my eyelids, disbelieving that I have met him again. Earlier, I swore to myself that if I ran into him a second time, I would bind us with the red thread of destiny. After all, it can't be a mere coincidence. Should I believe that romantic movies are not over-colored after all?
The boy folds his arms, begging me to let him into the garden. It seems that currently I am his only hope for rescue.
He has helped me. He saved me from a painful collision with the sidewalk, so why should I turn out to be a witch? I don't know what he's running from, but he looks deeply concerned about his situation.
Without thinking, I open the wicket door and let him in. The boy looks around the garden and finds the bush behind which he is hiding. I hear his heavy breathing. And I don't know if it's from fatigue or more from fear.
Two powerful men run past my fence. They stop in place and carefully look around. I furrow my eyebrows, wondering what's going on. I have no doubt that it is him they are looking for. What did he mess up so badly that he has to deal with dangerous people? I guess he belongs to the bad boy type; the kind that most teenage girls like.
I nervously swallow my saliva as the gaze of the powerful young man easily finds me. His eyes do not look friendly.
- Miss, did you see a boy running this way? Tall, brown hair...
I hastily shake my head, trying not to reveal to him that I am lying.
- I didn't see anyone.
A giant lump appears in my throat. I am terrified.
- Alice, what are you doing outside at this hour? - I look over my shoulder and look at my grandmother, who came here to take care of me. - And who are you talking to?
- I'm already going back inside.
I am saved. I ignore these dangerous men and turn my back on them. As I walk past the bush, I discreetly glance toward the boy hiding there and with a movement of my lips announce to him to wait for me.
I step inside and the first thing I do is slightly swing back the curtain and peek through it. The men are still standing there for a while, talking about something. They look around one last time, then leave.
I breathe a sigh of relief.
- Who was it? They didn't look like nice guests. - I look at my grandmother and force a smile.
- They simply asked me for directions. They got lost. - I head for the exit door, but am stopped by a loud grunt. - I left something outside. I'll be back shortly.
I see that he is heading for the kitchen, so I slip out of the house quickly. Furthermore, I walk up to the bush, and then a stranger boy stands next to me.
- Thank you. This time it was you who saved my life.
I nervously play with my fingers, and I'm sure I blush visibly at these words. It's fortunate that it's dark, and thus you can't see the colors on my face very well.
- I like to help people.
Did I just smoke the worst stupidity under the sun? I don't think I know how to properly talk to a handsome boy. Should I collapse into the ground?
- You seem like a cool person. It's good to be nice. Not everyone is like that. At least you have this assurance that you won't be chased by dangerous visitors.
I want to ask him why he is running away from them. What did he do that he has to hide from hoodlums, but it's improper, so I bite my tongue.
- I am, all too good," I say in a whisper, reminding myself of the situation with my mother. - Nevertheless, I'm glad I could help you. I have returned the favor, haven't I?
His eyes sparkle in the light of the streetlamp. He curves his lips in a slight smile.
- It can be said that you showed more help. If they had gotten me.... they probably would have killed me.
I am surprised by his directness. Is he serious? So it's so bad that he's facing death?
- You are terrified," he says, seeing my face. - You should go inside the house already. Even in your garden, you could be in danger.
- Let me look around outside. What if they are waiting somewhere in hiding until you show yourself? - I want to approach the wicket, but he puts his hand on my shoulder and stops me. I feel a pleasant tingling sensation in that place.
God, what is happening to me?
- Come inside. - What's wrong with him? After all, I would like to save his ass. - I will feel offended if you go outside the fence. You're a girl, and I'm not going to take advantage of you. I can handle myself. It's not the first time.
So what? Does she already have experience in running away from hoodlums? Is that what he has in mind?
- Alright," I reply snottily, hoping that the red thread of destiny will make me meet him again. I want that, even though I don't know him at all. All I know is that he is handsome and in danger. Perhaps out of my stupidity? How can I know what he does for a living?
I watch him when he steps outside the fence. He looks around, as if to make sure the hoodlums are not around, and then his gaze finds me.
- I think it's no coincidence that we helped each other. See you.- He lifts his hand, and I do not take my eyes off him until he disappears from my sight.
Wait, he said "see you?" As if he were sure that we will meet again.... let's hope he was right.
*
I walk out of the school, and my gaze finds a group of girls standing over the queen bee wanting to please her at all costs. One is shouting at the other, which looks like a cabaret. Each of them is trying her best to make a fashion statement, but apparently they don't realize that the school beauty isn't listening to them. She's looking in the other direction because she's interested in her popular, handsome boyfriend, who is making fun of someone along with his classmates.
I just want to move past it, but to my misfortune, today it hits me. Someone they have to pick on.
- Do you want to go for a drink with us? - I try to ignore the taunts of the school's heavyweight, but he clearly isn't going to let up and grabs my hand to make me stop. - If I ask, answer nicely.
- If you talk shit, the girl doesn't answer! How would you like to take her out for a drink if you are underage!!!? - Laughs Chris, who is his right hand.
- Someone here appears to be overconfident," says Thomas, grabbing my chin. - Are you that picky? So, tell me ... what type do you like?
- Less arrogant," I respond, although my heart presses against my throat. The most popular boy in school has latched onto me.
I glance nervously to the side and see the hostile attitude of his girlfriend. She looks like she wants to kill me for this.
That was still missing at the end of the year....
- Less arrogant, you say? That's surprising because at school every chick goes for me. Every one, apparently, except you. Don't you like bad boys? So what type do you prefer? Nerds, mama's boys or lame boys?
- Doesn't it all fit in one bag? - I answer when a mischievous smile is on my face. If he likes, I can humiliate him. - What type do I prefer? Normal, nice guys. You certainly don't fall into that category.
There is a buzz on the field, as well as laughter from his colleagues. I notice how his face is getting thin, and he obviously wants to kill me. He is in line right after his girlfriend.
- You see, Thomas. You've been lurking for her for so long, and you got a decent trashing. Take care of your girlfriend," Chris says through laughter, out of the corner of his eye, glancing at Samantha. No one at school knows that he has had a crush on her since first grade.
- I get everything I want, so you won't slip through my fingers either," he says to me in a hushed voice that sounds more like a threat.
Your parents brought you up badly, you twat.
- Then you're lucky because I didn't get anything from my mother, even though she has a hell of a lot of money in her account.
All I want is peace and quiet for the rest of the year, but as if it were bad luck, the worst asshole clung to me. I realize that from tomorrow, my days will look entirely different. After all, I gave a humiliating trashing to the most popular boy, and as if that weren't enough, I'm on the target of his girlfriend. In general... what kind of relationship is this if he's chasing other virgins? Is she blind?
He is as perfidious as my mother. Such guys should be kept away from.
Heading for the wicket, I look over my shoulder and see the queen bee approach the boy and, highly indignant, bestially pulls him by the ear. She shouts at him, but Thomas does not allow himself to be humiliated and with one ugly sentence closes her mouth.
In my eyes, they don't look like a couple. Their relationship is some kind of cabaret.
*
When I get off the bus, my favorite song is just ringing in my headphones. I quietly hum it under my breath, not paying attention to people. The music makes me completely switch off and I don't notice anything going on around me.
Nothing, because one day I almost got hit by a bicycle.
I'm already near the house when my attention is caught by a person hanging around the fence. I strain my gaze and take my headphones out of my ears when I realize it's the boy from last night.
I am surprised.
When he notices me, a friendly smile appears on his face. Once again, I am charmed by him.
- It seems that I surprised you. I have to confess that I've been heaping a bit in front of your house in the hope that you would eventually return to it," he explains when he sees that I open my mouth in astonishment. - I have this habit that when someone shows great help for me, then I want to thank that person. You are very charming, so I thought sweets would be the best gift for you. - I blink my eyelids as he presses a nice package in which there are various delicious-looking, caloric snacks.
I'm confused. Why is he doing this? I simply did what I should have done. I helped him, and I also repaid him.
- But this is unnecessary...
- You saved my life. As I mentioned yesterday... if it wasn't for you, I'd probably be dead by now.
I glance towards the house and don't know what to say.
- I'll accept it so as not to make you uncomfortable, but I still think it's unnecessary and very troublesome for me.
- Necessary if you are looking for an excuse to meet again.
His directness is surprising. A brave boy. Very brave.
- Oh. - That's all I can get out of myself as he looks at me with that captivating smile of his on his face. - I will swell up like a balloon after eating all this, so.... - I break off in mid-sentence, analyzing whether I can say it out loud - if you feel like it, we should eat together?
He starts laughing.
- You're definitely cute," he says, not taking his eyes off me. - Do you think the nearby playground will be suitable for us to have a sweet picnic?
I nod uncertainly. I don't know if it's a good idea since I don't know him at all and this is our third meeting, but his charming smile makes me unable to refuse him. Is it possible that I have caught his eye? Another boy wouldn't likely bother to buy me candy, and he certainly wouldn't offer to eat it in the playground, would he?