It was a late night. Snowflakes were falling thick and fast in a certain town in the United States.
Christmas was just around the corner, and the festive atmosphere filled every corner. On both sides of the street, colorful lights were shining brightly. There were several life-sized wooden sculptures of Santa Claus, and the bars with their fronts decorated like fairytale cottages were full of liveliness.
Inside the bar, it was noisy. Melodious music wafted out of it. It was played by a group of teenage bands in this town. The moment they started playing, it caught people's attention immediately, and I was no exception.
I was sitting at the bar counter, reeking of alcohol. I lifted my bleary eyes and looked at the energetic teenagers on the performance stage, a bitter smile appearing at the corners of my mouth.
Ian, do you still remember? When we were seventeen, you said that we should find a few more people to form a band and play the most wonderful songs in the world. You said that I would surely be the lead singer of the band, and you would be the backup singer and the drummer. You and I were bound to be the perfect partners.
Ian, why did you forget all about it in the blink of an eye? We're only twenty-one years old, yet you've already forgotten the dreams we once had. You also said that you would always be with me because I was the only one in the world who truly understood you.
Ian, why did you suddenly marry someone else? That pampered young lady, Pei Xiaoyan, whom we had always disliked and detested. You said she was spoiled, overbearing, selfish, and self-centered. But why, in just a flash, did you decide to marry her?
When you broke up with me and told me that you were going to marry her, I felt like the whole world had turned dark. I thought you were joking with me, but you kept saying it wasn't a joke. I cried and shook you, saying that you must be joking. But you pushed me away and then left without looking back.
I couldn't believe it. I still couldn't believe that you had just left me like that and walked out of my life. I cried my heart out like a fool, making everyone look at me with strange eyes. Yes, I really was like a fool.
Jane told me that you and that young lady had been secretly seeing each other for a long time. Many people had noticed it, and I was the only one kept in the dark.
I didn't believe it. I just wouldn't believe it.
Just a moment ago, I called you and told you that I was drunk out of my mind at the bar and asked you to come pick me up. You hemmed and hawed on the phone, and there was a sigh full of pity in your voice.
I was crying and shouting on the phone, begging you to come to me.
But you hung up the phone resolutely.
I threw the phone aside and could only drink one glass of beer after another, trying to numb my pain temporarily with drunkenness.
The lead singer of the band was singing affectionately, and the melodious music rose and fell. I was drinking, hiccupping, and in a daze, the glass slipped from my hand and dropped onto the messy bar counter.
The bartender pouring me drinks turned around and winked at another bartender, saying, "Another one who's just been dumped."
Not far from the bar counter, there was a stylish woman sitting in a backless long black dress. She wasn't exactly beautiful but was dressed very seductively. She had smoky makeup on, and there was shiny and charming gold powder on her face. Her long purple eyelashes were painted thick and dense, making her alluring eyes even more captivating.
I knew that she had been eyeing me for a long time.
She held a glass filled with amber liquid in her slender hand with blue nail polish on her fingernails. As she took a sip, her seductive eyes would glance at me from time to time.
Looking at her ten fingers with blue nail polish, I narrowed my eyes slightly and took another sip of wine.
I knew her, and maybe she knew me too. We were both studying at the same university and occasionally attended the same public classes in the same classroom. We had never spoken to each other and were just familiar faces.
She had a bad reputation and was known as a "professional mistress". I didn't plan to talk to her.
The door of the bar opened again, and a handsome young man in a purple windbreaker walked in. His good looks attracted the attention of many customers. Several heavily made-up girls in revealing clothes raised their glasses to him and giggled loudly, "Hi, guy..."
However, the handsome young man in the purple windbreaker walked straight towards me, who was dizzy from drinking at the bar counter.
Half of my body was sprawled on the bar counter. I hiccupped and also raised my glass to him, almost rubbing the glass against his face. "My handsome boy, would you like..."
He frowned and, before I could finish my sentence, snatched my glass away and pulled me up roughly. Then he said to me in Chinese, "Yuexi, come back with me."
"Come back? What for? Ian isn't here." I snatched the glass back with the strength of my drunkenness and took two more big gulps.
"Don't be silly. Ian is already married." He snatched the glass away again and put it aside, sighing as he pulled me out. Meanwhile, he threw a few bills to the bartender.
"He'll get divorced. He will, for sure..." I sang a tuneless song, making up the lyrics as I went along, shouting in English, "He'll definitely get divorced. He'll definitely get divorced and then come to me on a white horse..."
The men and women in the bar burst out laughing, and some even whistled.
He coaxed and tricked me out of the bar and then stuffed me into a car.
I slumped limply against the driver's seat, giggling foolishly, tilting my head to look at him beside me. "Are you... Li Aide? What are you doing here? Who asked you to come?"
He sighed and fastened my seat belt for me. "I'm here to take you home."
The car started and disappeared around the corner in the swirling snow in an instant.
When I got home, I vomited all night long until there was nothing left in my stomach, until daybreak.
After that, I slept for a whole day.
In the evening, when the orange-red rays of the setting sun shone through the long curtains onto the sofa, I woke up, staring blankly at the white ceiling and the little gods carved on it.
A handsome and refined young man came in with a glass of milk in his hand, looking delighted. "Yuexi, you're finally awake."
I gave a soft "Mm" and remained lying on the sofa, lazily asking, "Was it you who brought me back last night?"
"Yes." He nodded.
I threw my head back and laughed. "Li Aide, Li Aide. If I didn't know you were into men, I'd think you were in love with me..."
He put the glass of milk in front of me. "Stop talking so much. Drink it quickly. I'm in a hurry to go out now."
"Where to?" I took the glass of milk and couldn't stop laughing. "Are you so easily offended?"
He looked at me, a bit dissatisfied. "You know that's not the case."
"Okay, okay, I won't say anything more," I took a sip of milk, put the glass down, and raised my hands in surrender. "Please go quickly. I'm sorry. It would be bad if I delayed your business."
He pretended to be angry but didn't really get angry. He picked up a windbreaker, put it on, and walked towards the door, saying as he walked, "The hangover medicine is on the table. Don't forget to take it later."
I was too lazy to pay attention to him, and the door was closed gently.
It was getting dark, and I didn't turn on the lights. In the dark living room, I curled up on the sofa like a tired and exhausted stray cat.
Because Ian had left me, I had even lost my direction to wander.
So, tonight, I was a lost stray cat.
At four o'clock in the morning, the door was opened gently. I was lying quietly on the sofa in the darkness, looking up at the pitch-black ceiling and casually called out, "Li Aide?"
"Aren't you asleep?" Li Aide responded in surprise.
"Are you okay?" He sat down in front of me, and I nodded. "Still alive, I guess."
"Today, I accidentally heard Annie say that Ian decided to marry Pei Xiaoyan because she was pregnant."
I was stunned for a moment and then gave a bitter smile. "So what? The truth doesn't matter anymore. After all, they're already married, right? I can only see the result."
"I remember I advised you before," Li Aide said. "You and he weren't suitable for each other, but you didn't listen."
I was speechless and looked up at the ceiling. After a moment of silence, he went back to his own room.
Li Aide was my roommate. We both came to Yorktown in the United States from China when we were sixteen and luckily became good friends in high school. Later, we went to the same university, and our relationship was extremely close. After starting university, in order to save money, we rented this apartment together.
For a while, many classmates and friends thought we were a couple. A year later, when Aide walked on the campus with a tall and muscular blond man in his arms, everyone suddenly realized what was going on. Since then, no one ever talked about our so-called "close" relationship again.
Later, Ian, I, Aide, and Aide's boyfriend often got together.
I used to think that I was the happiest woman in the world. I had a good friend like Li Aide who wouldn't steal my boyfriend, and I had a wonderful man like Ian who loved me deeply.
What more could I ask for in life?
However, this summer, Ian suddenly told me that he wanted to break up with me and marry another girl.
I couldn't believe my ears. I stared at him in disbelief and said, "What are you talking about? Ian, this isn't true, right?"
"It's true," he looked at me with a hint of pity. "Yuexi, I really plan to marry Yali."
"You're lying to me," Tears suddenly welled up in my eyes. "You must be lying to me, Ian. You must be lying to me, right?"
He remained silent. After a while, he turned around and left.
"Ian, come back, come back... You bastard..." I cried out at the top of my lungs while standing on the campus lawn.
His figure was getting farther and farther away, and the sky was getting darker and darker. He became a small black dot, smaller and smaller, until I couldn't see him anymore.
"Ian, come back, come back..." I slumped down on the lawn, tears streaming down my face continuously, crying my eyes out. "Ian, Ian..."
Tears blurred my vision, and I didn't have the courage to chase after him. It all happened so suddenly that I felt as if I was still in a nightmare.
After that, I frantically called him, but he didn't answer. So I went to the classrooms where he had classes to try to stop him. But it seemed that he could always get the news in advance. Every time I rushed into the classroom like crazy, he had already disappeared without a trace.
I stood in the corridor, crying loudly, not caring at all about the various looks people cast on me.
Ian, where are you? Where are you? Do you know how much I love you?
Do you know? I had dreamed countless times about our wedding, the most beautiful and romantic wedding. I thought we would definitely get married. I used to think that we would surely be happy.
But now, you've shattered all my dreams and made me face this cruel reality.
I hate you, Ian!