I remember a long, long time ago, I had a strange dream.
In the dream, there was a boy who looked a lot like Ian. We hugged and kissed passionately in the dream. Love was like a fever that never seemed to fade away, making me feel dizzy and muddled. I wished I could stay in that high-heat state forever, tossing and turning on the pillow, murmuring muddled love whispers. Because that dream was so beautiful that I no longer had any attachment to the world after waking up.
That sweet, passionate and slightly damp kiss. Yes, I'll never forget it.
The year I had that dream, I happened to be sixteen years old. That was also the year when I came to the United States to "join" my mother who had been divorced from my father for a year.
After years of hard work, my father and mother finally realized their American dream. But not long after that, their marriage came to an end.
They each remarried. My father found a young Chinese-American girl, and my mother married an American man with a big beard. Since then, they hardly contacted each other anymore.
I suddenly grew up from a willful little girl and became sensible. I studied English hard, learned to do housework hard, and tried my best to learn how to interact with people, hoping to adapt to life here as soon as possible.
Several years passed, and the small troubles also passed. I didn't care about the sarcasm from others, nor did I remember any setbacks or sadness I had experienced. However, I only remembered that dream when I was sixteen years old.
I missed the hot air in the dream, the sweat on his forehead, and the throbbing moment when we stared at each other.
I still remember that when I had that dream, I was sixteen years old.
I still remember what the boy in the dream looked like. He looked so much like Ian that when I first saw Ian, I was really "astonished as if he were a celestial being".
It was a sunny afternoon. He drove past me. I couldn't help but be stunned.
Oh my god, he was so much like the man in my dream. His hair, his eyes, it was as if they were carved from the same mold.
Then, I overcame numerous difficulties to get to know this man from my dream. After getting to know him, I tried every means to pursue him. I had used all kinds of methods, both overt and covert, before I finally won his heart.
Those days were extremely sweet. Even now when I think about them, I still feel a sweet happiness in my heart.
Even though, perhaps the person who made me feel so sweet would never come back to me again.
Later, after being dumped, I suspended my classes for a while and lived a life with no distinction between day and night in my room.
During the day, I either slept, took cold showers, or watched soap operas crazily. I was in a chaotic state. At night, I would go out and drink until I threw up.
On countless nights, it was the kind bartenders who called Li Aide's mobile phone and asked him to come pick me up.
Li Aide was a regular customer at this bar and was quite familiar with the bartenders.
Thank you, Li Aide, for staying with me all the time during that crazy and decadent period.
Those dark days were really heartbreaking.
More than a month later, when my mood got a little better, I went back to school to attend classes.
I tried my best to avoid meeting Ian, talking about Ian with others, and constantly thinking about Ian, especially when I saw familiar scenes and landscapes.
One day, just after class, in the crowded corridor, Jane, who had just finished her biology class, stopped me as I walked out of another classroom. She looked at me rather sympathetically and asked, "Xi, are you feeling better now?"
I turned my face away and then turned back again before pretending not to care and saying, "I've never been that sad."
Jane was the daughter of an old classmate of my mother's. I didn't want to show my true feelings in front of her.
Jane shrugged. After a while, we both said that we still had classes and then went our separate ways.
After class in the afternoon, I took a lonely walk on the campus.
It was an afternoon with the sky full of the setting sun. I walked alone on the grass on the campus, letting the gentle breeze blow across my face.
After the breeze passed, a very soft female voice suddenly appeared behind me: "Hi!"
I turned around and saw someone I would never have expected.
She was the so-called "professional mistress".
She was wearing a long purple floral dress today and had light makeup on. She actually looked quite pure. I remembered that I wasn't familiar with her and suddenly recalled that she had secretly paid attention to me in the bar, so I couldn't help but feel alert.
She smiled at me, with sincerity in her eyes. She walked slowly towards me. I stood still, and the suspicion in my heart gradually grew.
She smiled again, walked closer and said, "You know me, right? I'm quite famous in this school."
I was stunned for a moment and then exchanged a few greetings with her. When she asked if I could take a walk with her, I thought about it and then agreed.
Walking on the quiet campus, she smiled and said, "Li Yuexi, do you know? Actually, I've been paying attention to you for a long time, since you and Ian just got together."
I couldn't help but stop walking.
"What did you say?" I asked. "Why were you paying attention to me?"
Her answer shocked me and made me unhappy. She said, "Because I knew you were doomed to be dumped, so I noticed you."
"I think," my face changed slightly, "we don't need to continue this conversation."