Chapter 7: The Parrot Prophet
"Gabriel, is this your idea of a joke?" she hissed in a shaky voice.
The answer was not Gabriel but a low, gurgling growl.
The blanket suddenly ripped away, and from the shadowy corner of her room came a glittery, wet creature with bulbous eyes and semi-transparent, slimy skin that shimmered faintly in the moonlight.
Its elongated limbs twitched, and its maw that was full of needle-like teeth, opened wide.
"W-what in the—" Lirian got up and scrambled backward, knocking over a chair in her haste.
"SLAY! SLAY!" Pedro squawked from his perch by the window.
His wings flapped frantically as if he, too, were trying to ward off the intruder. "GET IT, QUEEN!"
"Pedro, this is not the time!" Lirian whispered through gritted teeth.
The monster lunged toward her, its slimy arms tried to reach out.
Without thinking, her hand grabbed the ornate golden mirror on her vanity.
"Oh, no you don't!" she yelled, gripping the mirror like a weapon.
"Aaaagh!" With an aggressive yell, she swung it with all her might, smashing the mirror into the creature's head.
A sickening splash bounced in the room as slime splattered everywhere.
The monster staggered, gurgling furiously, glaring at her with its bulbous eyes.
"Why won't you die?!" Lirian screamed, raising the mirror again.
"SLAY, BUT MAKE IT FASHION!" Pedro screeched, hopping from side to side.
"Pedro, I swear—!"
Before she could finish, the creature reared back, clearly annoyed, and turned its attention toward the noisy parrot.
It looked at Pedro, and it let out a hungry growl. "Ggghhra…"
"Oh, no, no, no! Don't even think about it!"
Lirian cried, stepping between them, but the creature darted toward the bird.
"HELP! I'M TOO GORGEOUS TO DIE!" Pedro screamed as the monster leaped at him.
"Leave him alone!" Lirian swung the mirror again, narrowly missing the creature's slimy appendage as it lunged at the bird.
Pedro flapped wildly, squawking and dodging like a pro.
"YOU MISSED, BESTIE!" Pedro spoke as he darted toward the open window.
"I'm trying, you feathered menace!"
Just as the creature lunged again, Pedro went out the window, escaping its grasp.
He hovered just outside, glaring back.
The monster that was now thoroughly enraged, slammed against the window frame, struggling to follow.
Pedro puffed out his chest and screamed at the top of his lungs, "END OF THE WORLD, 2043! INVEST IN BITCOIN!"
The monster froze mid-lunge.
Lirian paused, the mirror still raised above her head. "What?"
Pedro continued. "AI TAKES OVER, HUMANS LOSE! ALSO, BUY DOGECOIN!"
The creature moved its head, gurgling uncertainty.
"Pedro, what in the name of the gods are you saying?!" Lirian demanded.
She was completely baffled by the parrot's statements.
"Where did he learn that?"
At that moment, the door finally opened, and Gabriel stormed in with his drawn sword. "Lirian! What's—"
He paused his voice as he took in the scene: the glittery, wet monster frozen in apparent contemplation, Lirian holding a slime-covered golden mirror, and Pedro outside the window, cawing like a prophet of doom.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO TWITTER?!" Pedro added for good measure.
Gabriel blinked. "What... is your parrot doing?"
"I have no idea!" Lirian shouted.
"SLAYED, THAT BITCH!"
"What did he say?" Gabriel yelled.
"It started screaming about, doesn't matter, and now the monster's just... stopped?"
Gabriel lowered his sword slightly, eyeing the creature. "Wait... did Pedro just predict the future?"
"Are you seriously asking that right now?!"
The creature suddenly let out a confused growl, its bulbous eyes rolled as if it were deep in thought.
Then, with a final gurgle, it slunk back into the shadows and exploded for no reason.
All its body parts vanished into thin air like wind.
Gabriel stared after it. "What just happened?"
"Apparently," Lirian said, lowering the mirror, "Pedro scared it off by rambling about Bitcoin and world domination…."
"What does it mean? Who's BITCOIN?"
"I don't know…" Lirian whispered. 'As if…'
"THE PARROT KNOWS!" Pedro squawked, flying back inside and landing on Gabriel's shoulder.
"BUY! SELL! SHORT THE MARKET!"
Gabriel flinched, clearly unused to having a bird perched on him.
"Pedro, stop. Did you see the future?"
"YES!" Pedro declared dramatically. "I SAW EVERYTHING."
Lirian rolled her eyes. "You didn't 'see' anything. You're just being obnoxious."
"OH, REALLY?" Pedro countered, fluttering onto her head. "WHO SAID, 'WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!' FIVE MINUTES?"
Lirian froze. "That... doesn't prove anything."
"AND WHO SWUNG A MIC LIKE A PSYCHO?"
Gabriel coughed, hiding a grin.
Lirian glared at him. "Don't encourage him!"
'This idiot parrot will expose that I'm from another world!'
Gabriel, still suppressing a smile, turned serious. "But in all honesty, if Pedro truly saw something—"
"Are you kidding me?!" Lirian interrupted. "You're seriously considering this?"
"THE MC CONSIDERED IT!" Pedro chirped. "YOU SAW IT. I'M THE CHOSEN ONE."
Gabriel frowned, scratching his chin. "The way it stopped... it did seem like it understood him."
"Understood what?" Lirian gestured wildly at Pedro. "Half of what he says doesn't even make sense!"
Pedro puffed up. "RUDE. I AM A GENIUS."
Gabriel ignored them, pacing the room. "If Pedro has some kind of... gift, it could explain why the creature reacted the way it did."
Lirian threw her hands up. "Gabriel, he said Twitter! Do you even know what that is?"
"No," Gabriel admitted, "but it sounds important."
"It's not!" she yelled. "And it's definitely not related to slimy murder monsters!"
Pedro hopped onto her shoulder, "You'll see. They never listen until it's too late."
Gabriel's eyes darkened. "He might be right."
"Oh, for the love of—" Lirian groaned. "I'm going to bed. If another monster shows up, you can handle it. Both of you."
Gabriel opened his mouth to respond, but Pedro interrupted. "REMEMBER: 2043! IT ALL GOES TO HELL!"
"OUT!" Lirian shouted, pointing at the door.
Pedro squawked indignantly but flew back to his perch.
Gabriel gave her a sheepish look. "I'll... investigate. Get some rest."
As Gabriel left, Pedro squawked again. "BUY LOW, SELL HIGH, BABY!"
Lirian threw a pillow at him, muttering, "I'm doomed."