Fresh out of Azkaban, William actually felt a strong desire to talk.
But not with this conductor. In William's memory, this guy, named Stan Shunpike, could chat with strangers for three or four hours without pause, even when there was nothing to talk about. Engaging him would be disastrous.
Sure enough, before long, Stan carefully broke the silence.
"Uh, the fare is thirteen Sickles."
William pulled a Galleon from his pocket and handed it over. Despite his many attempts to grasp the wizarding world's currency system, he remained hopelessly resigned to its complexity.
"For an extra three Sickles, you can get some hot chocolate. For four more, you can get a thermos and a toothbrush. You can even pick the color." Once Stan confirmed the money was genuine, his speech became more fluid.
Four more? That's exactly a Galleon! Is this guy alright in the head?
Believing it was unethical to take advantage of the mentally impaired, William chose the chocolate, took his change, and found a bed.
Yes; this bus didn't have seats, only bunk beds.
Its movement wasn't typical either. Instead, it bounced, leaping a hundred miles at a time through space.
William's excitement about being released had faded. After spending hours on a boat, his joints ached in protest. He found his bed, lay down directly, closed his eyes, and drifted into a hazy sleep.
While he was dozing off, the sound of the door slamming jolted him awake. Instinctively, he grabbed the bed frame tightly.
Once fully awake, he realized no Dementors had come for him.
It was just new passengers boarding. Relieved, William exhaled deeply.
Reaching into his clothes, he grasped the wand that didn't seem to like him. Holding it gave him a sense of security; like finding a flashlight in the dark.
"Where are we now?"
"Angelsey. Your hot chocolate's ready. Want it now? It's a treat you won't find anywhere else."
William didn't respond. He picked up the cup, tested the temperature, and drank deeply. Whether it was his imagination or not, the hot chocolate seemed exceptionally well-made. After downing the entire cup greedily, he found himself craving a second one.
"Not bad," William complimented. In a rare moment of tolerance for Stan's chatter, he turned to the window, curious about how the bus operated.
But that curiosity quickly became a hard lesson. Within a minute, William gave up trying to figure it out. Roller coasters and ships were nauseating enough, but this bus put them to shame.
Even without considering its hundred-mile leaps, the bus's normal speed was faster than most racers. The vehicle seemed enchanted to make obstacles move aside automatically, turning the ride into something akin to a high-speed video game.
Every time the bus leapt and landed, it felt like the map changed, giving William the surreal sensation of being inside a game.
After several more jarring "frame drops" where the scenery shifted abruptly, passengers disembarked one by one, leaving William as the only one heading to Diagon Alley. Unfortunately, Diagon Alley had multiple transportation options, and the Knight Bus was the slowest, most expensive, and least comfortable choice.
After using magic to clean the bed, Stan sat down beside William, cautiously asking, "What's Azkaban like? Was the food any good? Are there loads of Dementors there?"
How has this guy not been punched to death yet?
William's thoughts stirred, and he almost mimicked the kicks he had used in Azkaban; only remembering upon standing that he wasn't in prison anymore.
The conductor, however, didn't wait for his response and continued talking to himself. "Azkaban's not a place I'd ever want to visit. I'm just an ordinary conductor, after all. Haven't even been out of school for long. You know, William, the last time we met was barely half a year ago. And now, you've already managed to land yourself in Azkaban!"
William started mentally reviewing useful curses and checking if any of the prisoners he had investigated were jailed for wizard duels.
Just then, the screech of brakes sounded, and the Knight Bus slid to a halt in front of a shabby little pub.
It was the final stop of the journey; the entrance to Diagon Alley, the Leaky Cauldron.
Relieved, William put his wand away and rushed toward the bus's door in two quick strides.
"Alright, William, let's catch up next time!" Behind him, the conductor waved enthusiastically.
[You've earned temporary recognition from a magical creature. Reward: x1 treasure chest.]
Temporary recognition? What nonsense is that?
Muttering to himself, William opened the loot box.
From the battered container, a single, solitary card popped out.
[Inmate Stan Shunpike: Known for his loose tongue and thoughtless chatter, Stan Shunpike was reported by a passenger who had had enough when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named returned. With his poor reputation, he faced little doubt and was promptly sent to Azkaban.
Skill: Chaos Speech-Destroy up this card to gain the ability to expose the darkest corners of someone's mind with your words for one hour. Success rate depends on the target's strength.]
With no other choice, William solemnly pocketed the card, warning himself never to play mind games unless safely behind a screen.
Still, after seeing the card, the anger that had just flared up in him evaporated entirely.
Gazing in the direction the bus had driven off, William whispered, "Same to you". Then, striding purposefully, he approached the Leaky Cauldron; the pub most frequently mentioned by prisoners.
***
He pushed open the door and headed toward the bar.
"Tom, a pint and a quiet room, please."
"William? Haven't seen you in ages--eh?"
Tom the Barman's, voice faltered suddenly, as if something had dawned on him. But he quickly composed himself, sliding a pint across the counter.
"On the house. A room's five Sickles a night. How long are you staying?"
"No idea. Depends on when I get my next orders."
William took the beer, fished ten Galleons from his pouch, and pushed the money forward before taking a slow, deep drink.
"I'll sort breakfast and lunch here. We'll settle the tab later."
"Sure thing. Tonight's dinner's on me. Your room's number sixteen."
Tom tossed him a key. William caught it effortlessly, turned around, and headed upstairs, ascending the wooden staircase.