The morning lights flickered through the curtains ,casting a soft glow on his face. It was rare to see him this way, so unguarded and peaceful. His strong features seemed almost delicate in sleep , the hard edges softened by the quiet of the morning. His lashes, longer than I had noticed before, fluttered lightly as if caught in dream. The curve of his lips was relaxed not set in this stern line I had grown used to, I traced the bridge of his noise with my eyes, appreciating the symmetry and strength in his profile.
For a moment , a strange warmth filled me , a mixture of curiosity and something deeper I couldn't quite name . The distance that usually lay between us felt smaller , fragile as morning dew ,but then , as if sensing my gaze , his eyes opened slowly, revealing those striking ocean blue depths.
Caught in the moment , I stepped back , feeling my cheeks flush . Gastoh blinked, his eyes locked on mine , sharp and unyielding, but he said nothing . The silence felt heavier than any words he could have spoken. My breath caught in my throat, and a sudden rush of ,panic overtook me . The weight of his gaze was enough to send my heart racing and before I could think of what to say or do I turned and hurried out of the room into the bathroom, shutting the doors behind.
Inside the bathroom , I leaned against the door my heart pounding, my thoughts racing . What was I thinking ? Why did I let myself stare for so long?
The sound of a knock pulled me from my thoughts, the the door opened, and Nancy stepped in, a look of surprise crossing her face.
"My lady " she began , a slight frown on her brow , "I didn't know you'd be awake this early. Forgive my unprofessionalism ,I haven't prepared the water yet".
I waved off her apology, forcing a calmness I didn't feel, "it fine, Nancy. I just needed a moment to myself" I said , my voice steadier than I expected.
Her gaze lingered on me for a second, as though she could sense the turmoil beneath my composed exterior.
" Shall I prepare the bath now ,my lady?" She asked ,her tone soft.
I nodded,"Yes please and thank you, Nancy."
As she began to work ,I sat on the small bench near the window ,pretending to busy myself with my nails. My mind however kept wondering back to Gastoh's gaze, the weight of it still lingering as if he was silently questioning me.
Nancy glanced over me as she poured water into the bath basin," if I may ask ,my lady ,you seemed...distracted this morning. Is everything alright ?"
I hesitated for a moment before replying ,
" I just didn't sleep well, that's all"
Nancy nodded , her expression polite but unconvinced . She didn't press further , and I was grateful for it . Once the bath was prepared , she excuses herself leaving me alone with my thoughts.
As I slipped into the warm water , I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the heat soothing my skin , but no Matter how hard I tried , the image of Gastoh's prercing blue eyes stayed with me , and the feeling of being caught lingered , a reminder of a boundary I wasn't sure I wanted to cross
When I stepped out of the bathroom , the chamber was empty , Gastoh was gone . His side of the bed was neatly arranged , and the faint impression on where he'd lain now smoothed.
I froze, unsure of how to feel. A mix of relief and embarrassment washed over me , did he leave because I was staring at him? I wondered , chewing the inside of my cheek , my stomach churned at the thought .
Before I could spiral further, Nancy entered the chamber ,with her usual brisk efficiency , a warm smile on her face.
"My lady" setting down a tray with a selection of fabrics and accessories for the day.
still caught in my thoughts. Nancy didn't seem to notice , moving to the wardrobe to fetch a suitable dress for breakfast .
"Shall we get started"she asked, holding up a light Blue gown . "This would suit the morning light beautifully, don't you think?"
"Yes , that's fine"I replied, my voice softer than usual.
Nancy's keen eyes lingered on me for a moment as she began arranging my hair. "You seem quieter today, my Lady. Is it still because you didn't sleep well ?"
I hesitated , unsure how to respond . " Just .... thinking, I said finally, evading the real reason.
"Thinking is good,but not so much that it takes you frown " Nancy teased gently , a knowing glint in her eye.
Her lighthearted tone eased some of the tension in my chest, and managed a small smile . As she finished helping me dress .
" All set, my lady ",she said "shall I escort your to breakfast?"
" Yes" I said " lead the way".
The dinning table in our quarter was already set when I arrived. The morning light streamed in through the windows, highlighting the simple yet elegant spread . Gastoh who seat at one end , his posture relaxed as he slipped his tea.
I hesitated in the doorway , unsure how to act , he didn't look up or acknowledge my presence , his attention seemingly fixed on the cup in his hands .
Slowly , I moved to take my seat opposite him . The air felt charged , though he showed no sign of discomfort or even recognition of what had happened earlier. His movements calm and deliberate.
I tried to focus on the food , but my appetite was non-existent, my gaze drifted to him more often than I cared to admit, searching for some hint , some sign that he might have noticed or cared , but there was nothing
Does he even care?I thought , frustration bubbling beneath my composed exterior, or am I just a rock he barely notices in passing?
As the quiet stretched between us, I couldn't help but wonder :had he ever secretly admired me? Or was I truly nothing more than another piece of furniture in his worlds?
As the eating continued , Gastoh remained silent,his focus seemingly on his plate,the silent between us stretched on, making every clink of the cutlery against the porcelain sound louder than it should.
I kept my gaze low, unsure whether to speak or let the silence remain. My thoughts spun in circles, replaying the moment from earlier.
But then , almost halfway through the meal , he finally broke the silence.
"Would you like me to follow you when it's time to visit your parents" he said ,his voice steady , " or would you prefer I didn't?"
His words caught me off guard , and nearly choked on the tea I have been sipping . Setting my cup down carefully, I glanced up at him, but his expression was calm as ever . If there was any hint of teasing or irritation in his time, I couldn't detect it. I hesitated , unsure of how to respond .
"I..... hadn't thought about it" ,I admitted , my voice quieter than I intended.
He nodded once , as though my answers satisfied him and returned his attention to his meal.
Questions lingered in the air , though , unsettling me . Why would he ask that? Was it a genuine offer or way to gauge my thoughts? I studied his face , hoping to find a clue, but he gave nothing away.
Finally managed to find my voice
"Would you prefer to come with me or not"
This time, he did look at me , his piercing blue eyes meeting mine with a steadiness that made my heart tighten.
"It's your decision " he said simply . "I only asked because I wanted to be prepared"
There was no malice or disinterest in his tone , just calm practicing . Yet , somehow , that only made me feel more self conscious.
I nodded slowly, unsure on what else to say . The rest of the meal passed in relative quiet.
When he was done eating, Gastoh stood up, pushing his chair back with a soft scrape. He glanced at me briefly, and then, in his usual calm manner, said, "Let me know when you've decided. Take your time."
He didn't wait for a response, simply turned and walked towards the door, his footsteps steady and measured. The door clicked softly behind him, and I was left sitting at the table, feeling more uncertain than before.
Take my time? I thought, my mind racing. What was he really asking?
His words seemed so simple, yet they carried a weight I hadn't expected. Was he giving me space? Or was he distancing himself further?
I sat there for a while longer, the untouched food on my plate now growing cold. The silence in the room pressed in around me, but my thoughts were still spinning. Did he truly care about my decision, or was he just going through the motions?
I glanced toward the door, wondering if he was waiting outside, or if he'd already gone. I didn't know how to feel anymore,confused, unsure, or perhaps... relieved that he hadn't pushed me for an immediate answer.