*Jax*
I stared hard at my reflection in the window, clenching my jaws and folding my hands into tight fists as I struggled to calm down the rising anger in me. Struggled and failed. I tried to remember the last time I'd been this angry. The answer came straight to me without much thought. Two years and six months ago. It was morning I found Lenora in bed with that bastard kitchen volunteer. She'd been beneath pristine white sheets with him, naked, her dark brown hair tousled around her and her lips...
Fuck.
I'd been so angry, for a moment I could have sworn that all I could see was pure red. I didn't think I had ever hated her as much as I did at that moment. I'd always wondered what it was about her that made my stomach tighten in something I didn't ever want to put a name to. I hated how easily she distracted me. I hated how freely she lived in my thoughts. I hated how unaffected she was in my presence. And when Claire had unknowingly embarrassed me in front of everyone by calling me out when she caught me staring at her in what was supposed to be a very important council meeting while she had been serving food, I was sure that I hated Lenora.
Very much.
And that was even before I'd found out that she was my mate. After the meeting that day, Claire had given me some kind of talk on how embarrassing it was for me to have been caught staring so intensely at Lenora that I'd forgotten where I was. She'd emphasized the fact that Lenora was only a lowly kitchen volunteer who cared nothing about me. And I trusted Claire to never lie to me so I immediately took her word for it.
I made sure to turn every bit of whatever it was I was feeling into another reason to hate her, aside from the fact that she lacked respect and was always getting herself into trouble. She obviously had the thought in her head that she could somehow do whatever she pleased, not minding whatever the consequences might be, and it severely angered me. With each day that passed, she made sure to keep proving that she was in fact the wrong person to be having these kinds of feelings for. She wasn't worthy of them.
She wasn't worthy of me.
Her actions only made me more determined to turn all thoughts and traces of her into hate. And I'd been doing a good job. Too good, if you asked me. Because by the time I had realized she was my mate during my first sight of her after she'd turned twenty one, I'd already convinced myself that she didn't deserve me. So I proceeded to convince myself she didn't deserve to be queen. Werewolves didn't find their mate until they were at least twenty one.
Lenora and I had known we were mates from the first time we saw each other after her twenty-first birthday. She'd taken her wolf out on a run in the woods. I met her sitting on the paddock by the lake, her feet dangling in the air. My wolf had gone batshit crazy once I'd gotten close enough to perceive her scent. We'd both taken one look at each other and had known. Had known that the goddess was playing a mean prank on us, obviously. There was no way in hell that we could ever work out.
Which was why I hadn't bothered disclosing the fact to anyone beside the council. It was of no use. I wasn't going to ever accept her as my mate. There was no point telling the entire pack about it. And I'd made sure she wasn't going to tell anyone either. Well, apart from the two kitchen volunteers she seemed to be really close to, that is. Even I knew that asking her to not tell those two was like asking an elephant to fly.
There was no way she'd listen.
Especially since she turned out to be even closer to one than I'd initially thought. I released a calming breath, forcing all irritating images out of my head. I should never have underestimated her. I should have known when she'd refused my rejection,despite the fact that she hated me, that she had something up her sleeve. I was willing to bet she had been waiting patiently all these years and biding her time for me to realize I couldn't mate with anyone else as long as she was still my mate.
I'd finally realized it.
The council had been on my back lately about finding a mate and making her queen. Apparently the pack was also getting worried. Everyone knew a Lycan King was his strongest when mated. It was then that we'd discovered that the moon goddess wasn't going to accept my mating with someone else until Lenora had accepted my rejection. It was a good thing that I'd kept a tab on her all these years, though I still wasn't ready to look too closely into my reason for doing so.
It didn't matter anyway.
It had turned out to be the right thing to do in the end. And even though we'd tried to reach out several times over the last couple of weeks, Lenora was obviously hellbent on never coming back. She was clearly still as headstrong and fiercely stubborn as ever. Sometimes I wondered why she couldn't just cave in for once in her life. I had practically watched her build a life for herself among humans. She'd gotten herself a job as a teacher, rented a small apartment a couple of blocks away from the middle school where she worked and had settled into quite the easy routine, discreetly using her supernatural abilities when necessary.
It was a little impressive really.
Especially since her little kitchen volunteer friend hadn't been around to help out. I'd always wondered why they weren't going through life together. Lenora had already been on her own by the time I'd finally caved into the irritating urge to ask a few pack warriors to keep an eye on her. A part of me wondered if they'd had an argument after being caught that morning and had decided to go their separate ways.
A knock sounded on my room door, successfully jolting me out of my reverie. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering who it was. It wasn't time for the council meeting yet. A brief glance down at my watch confirmed that it was in fact time for the meeting. I had spent more than thirty minutes lost in thought. Clearing my throat, I gave whoever it was permission to come in.
The door got pushed open and Claire walked inside. I pressed my lips together, reminding myself that if everything went as planned I was going to be mating her in four weeks. The council had decided that she was the best person to make queen since my actual mate was already out of the picture, and honestly a part of me agreed with their decision. Claire was practically my confidante. She had proven to be a permanent ally that I could rely on, always putting my needs before hers and being there for me when I needed her.
The part of me that realized how the sacrifices she had made for me in the course of our friendship was happy that it would be her that the pack would call the queen. I told myself she deserved it. She was willing to give up the opportunity of ever finding her actual mate for me. For the pack. It was enough to convince me that I was making the right decision and I should do everything in my power to actualize it.
So why the hell was I having niggling doubts?
I knew the answer even as I watched her walk further into the room. She would never be my true mate. She wasn't the one the goddess had chosen for me. It was a shame, really. I didn't for one second believe that the goddess was capable of making mistakes but remembering that Lenora was the person my wolf had yearned for made me wonder whether or not she had actually made a mistake with me.
"The entire council's downstairs," She informed calmly, coming to stand a few feet away from me. She pushed a stray strand of her dark hair behind her ear, her eyes searching my face carefully. I knew that she could tell I was a little bothered about something. "What's wrong?" She asked, her voice just above a whisper. "You look a lot like you've got something on your mind."
I shook my head at her, managing a small smile that I was sure didn't quite reach my eyes. "I'm just a little upset that after so many months we still aren't completely done with her yet," I stated, knowing it was only half the truth. Claire studied me for a few seconds and then gave me an encouraging smile. I was a bit surprised when she reached out and took my face gently in her hands, stepping even closer until our foreheads touched.
"Trust me, you're not as upset as I am." She whispered, closing her eyes. "But I know we're going to get through this." I stared at her as she kept her eyes closed for a few more seconds, wondering if I was missing something. Sure, Claire and I were impossibly close, but still. We had never been the type to get overly affectionate with each other. Which was why I was a little startled that she was acting a little too...
Intimately.
Before I could think too much about it, she'd already released me from her gentle grip, taking a few steps backwards and looking everywhere but at me. My eyebrows came together in a slight frown. Was she actually...blushing?
I tried to think back to the few times I had felt a little suspicious of the exact nature of her feelings for me. Sometimes she did some things that often left me wondering whether or not. I would have returned the favour if I'd been in her shoes. Then again, there probably wasn't any need to overthink it, right? It didn't matter what her feelings were towards me and when exactly they had changed, if at all they had changed. It would probably make our relationship a lot easier if we had something other than platonic feelings for each other.
"You're right." I finally said after what felt like decades, moving every other thought to the back of my mind. I had plenty of time to overthink later. "We're definitely going to get through this." I looked down at my wrist watch, my eyebrows lifting when I noticed the time. "We should probably get going." I said. She nodded and then we both began heading out of the room.
We walked downstairs and then into the conference room. I took confident strides to my position at the table, taking my seat and clasping my hands together as I took in the facial expressions of everyone. I waited patiently for them to settle down since it seemed they were still making small talk. Once they appeared to finally be ready for us to start the meeting, I let the corner of my lips pull up into a small mischievous smile.
"I have a little surprise," I informed everyone, instantly piquing their interest. The only one who didn't visibly look curious was of course, Claire. She always knew exactly what I was up to. She'd been the one to suggest the idea in the first place. "Since our letters seem to not be doing much," I continued mysteriously, meeting their gazes and holding it for a little bit. "I've decided to take a different route."
As if on cue, she walked in. The answer to our prayers. The only person who might succeed in convincing Lenora to come back.
Her other kitchen volunteer friend.
Bethany.