Philip had an unwarranted, most vivid vision of what to expect at that dinner that it made him sick. He didn't want to stay in that day ever again but, there he was, reliving his nightmare once again.
Aiden didn't know what came over Philip for him to run to the bathroom but, what Aiden realized was that whatever made Philip hate the crowd and hide behind a persona had to do with it.
Philip didn't know how or maybe he just didn't want to breathe anymore. He wanted to scream, break something, cry but, he couldn't.
There was him on that place, smiling and thanking his stars that he decided to go to that dinner and another one which was prominent, an old friend. He saw the crowd ganging up on him.
It was so scary that he started shaking and feeling nauseous. It hurt on every scar of his body. He couldn't wait for the vomit to find him but alas, he was stuck again in his head.
Whenever he looked at himself in the mirror, it was clear that he wasn't that little boy anymore but, why does everything still feel the same.
After gaining his bearings eternity later, it wasn't hard to realize that his ears were also off and he started to hear Aiden's panic from the other side of the door.
"In a minute, you Ape!" Said Philip keeping the tremors away and forcing his heart to beat normally again. If he wanted to keep Aiden then, he needed to show some cooperation.
"Are you sure, you are okay?" Asked Aiden again, this time agitated. He hated it. He hated that he was of no help to Philip at that moment.
He hated that he was the reason why Philip locked himself in the bathroom. It was all on him.
Who cares about dinner with his coworkers? Not him. He didn't know why he wanted a night out with Philip when he could always enjoy their nights in.
"You are overthinking this" Said Philip after some silent tensions away and him opening the bathroom door, "I think I'm pregnant"
"Now that's what I call a miracle" Replied Aiden with a chuckle but, worry still evident in his voice.
He wanted to grab Philip and just keep him in his embrace but, he was afraid. What if, Philip decided that Aiden's baggage was too much?
"I'm not Mia, Aiden" Said Philip in a voice only he could hear but, maybe Aiden had some superpowers. He heard him loud and clear.
"Thank God, you aren't" Replied Aiden with a scoff, leading Philip to their bed and laid down next to him. Food forgotten.
"Did you tell your team that you broke up with Mia?" Asked Philip expectantly.
"They don't know Mia" Replied Aiden casually, tucking them in the quilt.
"Why?" Asked Philip, confused. Happy but, confused.
"I don't know... Maybe, I never liked my personal life to clash with my professional side" Explained Aiden sincerely, hoping that he made sense to Philip.
"That's smart" Agreed Philip after gaining his bearings back, "Or maybe you just liked to keep things to yourself"
"Yeah, maybe" Agreed Aiden. Thinking on how many times he tried to avoid social gatherings.
It wasn't because, Mia was against it since she never even knew what he did most of the time.
Maybe he did keep Philip and Mia a secret.
"But, if we are going to your crowd? Better tell me now what to expect and how to behave. I don't want to come back home cringing" Said Philip before turning back to hug Aiden.
"No, we are not ready to go out yet" Declared Aiden with a shake of his head furiously.
"Come on!" Whined Philip but, was secretly glad.
"I'm not budging on this one and baby, before your stomach remembers to eat, should I brought them here?" Asked Aiden and waiting.
"I could eat" Replied Philip untangling himself from Aiden to let him crawl out to fetch them their dinner.
"I need to tell you something Aiden that's been bothering me for days now" Said Philip as soon as Aiden came back under the blanket.
"I'm all ears" Replied Aiden, invested.
"I hate that, all I hear from you is the word Mia. I feeling like you are trying to please her and fix your past mistakes with her to me. I'm not her and I can never be her" Said Philip, hoping to anything almighty that his point will get delivered.
"I don't know what to say to that" Said Aiden with a sigh. Did he talk about Mia that much? But, how would he know if he was fucking up a relationship without a reference?.
He was dumb and clueless and most of the time, he can't observe anything obvious. Social cues were lost on him, he did try his hardest to read Philip but, he came out full of questions instead.
"I'm sorry. I will change" Said Aiden sincerely. Praying for courage to do so.
"Do you still love her?" Asked Philip, coldly.
"That's _" Stuttered Aiden, caught off guard.
"Do you still love Mia? It's a yes or a no question. Don't start stuttering now" Pressed Philip, determined. He can't always play catch up with an Ex, can he?. That's not how divas work.
"Well it's not a yes or no question to me, I'm sorry but, its not!" Insisted Aiden adamantly. Why were they even fighting over something like that?
"Then what is it to you. Where do I stand in all of this? I can't always be a replacement!!" Demanded Philip.
"That's how I'm making you feel?" Asked Aiden, taken aback. Who hurt him before?
"I tried to understand where you are coming from but, I can't want to nurse your heart forever" Said Philip
"Philip, listen to me. I know that I forgot everything about you, about us and I'm sorry for that but, whatever I'm doing now with you? Its not because of Mia. Most of the time, I don't even think about her until you mention her" Explained Aiden sincerely.
"And trust me. If I didn't want you in my life? You wouldn't be here" Said Aiden before kissing the hell out of Philip, "I like you. I love how everything is easy-going with you. I love how you communicate your feelings aloud. I love how you can be clingy and distant at the same time. I love it all with you"
"You are just saying that!" Said Philip sniffing his tears.
"You are not just a number on the list. You are my boyfriend and someone I'm comfortable sharing every part of me with. I hurt Mia very much. Unknowingly. Please, don't let me do it to you" Begged Aiden looking so heartbroken than the night they met.
"When it hurts, tell me that it hurts" Said Aiden to the pouting cutie in front of him.
"It fucking hurts!" Said Philip before letting out a good cry. But, he noticed that Aiden was still hang up on Mia. The mother of his child.