Chereads / the enternal return / Chapter 12 - chapter 12: Fragments of Pain

Chapter 12 - chapter 12: Fragments of Pain

The sun hung low in the sky, casting long shadows over the sprawling grounds of Aether Academy. Students bustled around, chatting and laughing as they enjoyed the end of another mundane day. Zack, however, walked with his usual detached demeanor, his spear slung casually across his back as if it were part of him.

Classes had ended, and the knowledge imparted was the same tired lessons he had memorized lifetimes ago. To him, it was just a repetitive cycle, one he endured more out of necessity than interest. His thoughts were drifting, replaying strategies for battles long fought and lessons from past failures, when he heard a cheerful voice call out behind him.

"Senior Zack!"

He turned his head slightly, his expression unchanging, to see Yurina running toward him. Her short white hair with its faint blue tint shimmered in the golden light, and her mismatched blue and cyan eyes sparkled with a youthful energy that Zack found oddly foreign. She wore her usual blue and white academy uniform, the fabric flowing slightly as she hurried to catch up.

"Yurina," Zack acknowledged, his tone flat.

"Ah, good! I thought I wouldn't catch up to you," she said, grinning as she fell into step beside him. "How was your day, senior?"

"Boring," Zack replied without hesitation.

Yurina chuckled nervously at his bluntness but continued talking regardless. She launched into a cheerful monologue about her day: how she helped a friend solve a minor problem in class, a funny moment involving her roommate, and her latest attempt to impress her family. She even mentioned her admiration for Arthur, the academy's golden boy, with a slight blush.

Zack didn't interrupt, nor did he engage much beyond a few nods and hums of acknowledgment. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, taking in her carefree demeanor. She spoke with such innocence and naivety, completely unaware of the lurking dangers that threatened this world.

But more importantly, Zack realized something: Yurina's memories of him only included the pain of the Eternal Return. She didn't seem to know about the Apostles of Chaosbringer. Her newfound ability to read memories was still incomplete, limited in scope.

When Yurina finally paused for breath, they found themselves in the academy's medicinal plant garden. The vibrant greenery stretched out before them, dotted with flowering herbs and medicinal blooms that filled the air with a soothing aroma. Zack stopped, looking around at the peaceful setting.

"Yurina," he said suddenly, breaking the silence.

She turned to him, tilting her head curiously.

"What does it feel like," he began, his voice measured, "to read my memories?"

Her cheerful expression faltered, replaced by a hesitant frown. She averted her mismatched eyes, clutching her hands nervously in front of her. For a moment, Zack thought she might not answer.

Finally, after a deep, shaky breath, she spoke.

"It… it's painful," Yurina admitted, her voice trembling. "When I first read your memories, I didn't know what to expect. I thought I'd see something simple, like your daily life or a happy moment."

She looked down, her grip tightening.

"But the moment I touched your memories…" She hesitated, her voice catching. "It was like being hit all at once. All your deaths… all that pain... I felt it."

Zack's gaze darkened as he watched her struggle to continue.

"I saw you being stabbed, burned, crushed, poisoned…" Yurina's voice broke, and tears welled up in her eyes. "I saw you screaming in agony, begging for it to stop, but it never did. It just kept happening, over and over again. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't—"

Her words faltered as her breathing grew erratic. She clutched her chest, as if the memories themselves were suffocating her.

"I panicked," she admitted, her tears streaming freely now. "I couldn't handle it. I… I ran out of your memories as fast as I could. It was too much."

Zack remained silent, his expression unreadable as he watched her relive the trauma she had inadvertently taken from him.

"And the worst part," Yurina continued, wiping at her tears with trembling hands, "is that I only saw a tiny piece of your memories. Just a small fragment. But even that was enough to overwhelm me."

Her mismatched eyes met Zack's, filled with sorrow and guilt.

"How… how do you keep going after all that?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "How haven't you given up completely?"

Zack looked away, his gaze fixed on the horizon. He thought about her question, the weight of it pressing down on him.

"I have given up," he admitted, his tone emotionless. "Many times. But giving up doesn't stop the cycle. It doesn't free me from the Eternal Return. So I keep going."

Yurina sniffled, still clutching her chest as if the pain hadn't left her.

"And yet," she said, her voice steadier now, "even if you've given up, I saw it. There's still a part of you that hopes. That fights. Even if it's buried deep down."

Zack's eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn't respond.

Yurina stepped closer, placing a hand on his arm. Her touch was light, hesitant, but firm.

"I promise, Zack," she said, her mismatched eyes meeting his. "I won't tell anyone about this. About your pain. About your memories. I know what you're thinking—that you'll reset everything if I betray you. But I won't."

Her voice softened, but there was a quiet determination in her tone.

"I know what you're capable of, and I know you're afraid. But I won't break your trust. You don't have to carry this burden alone anymore."

Zack looked down at her hand, then back into her eyes. For a moment, he considered her words. The familiar cynicism and distrust in his heart warred with a faint, fragile glimmer of something else—something he hadn't felt in a long time.

He nodded silently, his expression unreadable.

The two stood there in the medicinal garden, the weight of their conversation hanging in the air. The sun dipped lower on the horizon, casting a warm, golden light over the scene.

For the first time in countless lives, Zack felt a tiny sliver of understanding from another person. It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep him moving forward.