"Just psychological anxiety?"
Chen Yi looked at the psychological assessment report handed to him by the psychiatrist.
His cheeks were gaunt, his black hair somewhat unkempt, dark circles under his eyes barely noticeable, making it obvious that Chen Yi's mental state had not been good recently.
The place he was in was a mental hospital at Athens Piraeus Port, where Chen Yi had come to study in Greece a year ago through an exchange program from a domestic university.
His major was religious studies.
Over the past month, Chen Yi had experienced inexplicable restlessness, often suffering from insomnia for several consecutive days, and even when he did manage to fall asleep, he was plagued by frequent bizarre dreams.
In those dreams, he always found himself in a viscous pitch-blackness.
He could see nothing, only hearing voices that seemed like auditory hallucinations.
It was as if it were a call from another world.
Chen Yi suspected he had developed some psychological issues.
"Yes, my friend,"
The psychiatrist relaxed, obviously thinking the patient's issue was nothing significant,
"Your psychological problem isn't severe."
"Not severe... but I've had insomnia for several days now, and even when I do sleep, I still have strange dreams and hear voices like auditory hallucinations," Chen Yi said.
"You've repeated that many times, my friend. I must say, you need to appropriately distract yourself and learn to trust my professional skills.
Your anxiety stems from caring too much about others, or rather, taking too much care of others, even strangers who cause you concern."
"I know, I know. Is loving others too much really so bad?"
Chen Yi sounded somewhat impatient.
The psychologist reassured him in a gentle tone:
"I've seen many friends like you, and your issue isn't anything serious. You need to learn to ignore and not to feel compassion for those strangers, whether they are beggars or disabled.
It's a common psychological issue, you know, everyone wants to love others like a God."
To love mankind like God…
Chen Yi kept the psychologist's words in his mind.
He felt mentally alert, but somehow, his hearing seemed out of control, catching only bits and pieces.
To love mankind like God…
Chen Yi became somewhat absent-minded, echoing that insignificant phrase in his mind.
"Relax, brother."
The psychologist thought he might have said something wrong, gestured with his hands, trying to calm Chen Yi's mind with body language,
"I know there is a heavy stone in your heart, but now, the stone is put down, you can rest well."
Chen Yi listened to the doctor's voice...
The heavy stone was put down, no depression, no anxiety... just simple psychological anxiety.
As the psychologist patiently reassured him, Chen Yi felt as if he were being hypnotized, slowly letting his guard down.
Drowsiness swept up from his toes.
"There is a sofa, you can rest there."
The psychologist stood up, came over, and carefully supported Chen Yi's shoulders.
"You are right, doctor, I should relax."
Chen Yi mumbled drowsily, slowly standing up.
He decided to trust the doctor, trust in psychology.
Just then...
Drip.
A sound inexplicably like a water droplet.
Chen Yi felt a certain sensation growing in his heart...
He jolted suddenly, breaking into a cold sweat.
Many people have similar experiences...
Sudden sensations like a flash of lightning that passed by, yet fleeting, as if it was not yet time, eluding capture when one suddenly looks back.
The feeling seemed to come from another world...
Like some urgent call.
Chen Yi was suddenly jolted awake by it.
He abruptly pushed the psychologist away.
The psychologist stood dumbfounded, frozen in place.
"Thank you, doctor, I think I should go home and rest."
Having been jolted awake, Chen Yi was now incredibly alert.
This alertness even startled him.
"Alright, my friend, you just need to remember, the main cause of your recent anxiety is... just psychological anxiety, it's really not a serious issue, and if you feel unwell or mentally troubled, call me anytime.
Don't just tough it out, that can cause severe psychological trauma, even to the point of forgetting who you are."
The psychologist awkwardly withdrew his hand, came forward, and opened the door of the clinic for Chen Yi.
Chen Yi left the clinic, which was converted from a residential house.
It was now spring, and the spring sunshine of the Mediterranean was always gentle; Chen Yi tilted his face up to let his skin soak up as much sunlight as possible.
Rubbing his eyes, Chen Yi felt his hand was like parchment that had been wiped several times.
Chen Yi mumbled to himself,
"Time to go back."
Chen Yi turned and crossed the street to head back to his host home.
Like God loving mankind…
Like God loving mankind…
Chen Yi repeated this phrase over and over again involuntarily in his mind.
This was clearly a sign of poor mental health.
Unknowingly, his feet stepped onto the road.
Around him, he could hear the low hum of cars, and in this coastal port city, he could smell the tangy scent of the sea.
After walking past two alleyways, the air around seemed to slow down, acquiring a magical viscosity.
Chen Yi felt a dull pain in his brain.
There was a voice hidden in the darkness.
It was like a hallucination in a dream.
Chen Yi strained to listen to that voice.
"Norarich, Farafaso, Isaya..."
The dream-like hallucinations now echoed clearly in his ears.
Chen Yi felt a sensation of tinnitus.
Like God loving the world...
For some reason, Chen Yi recalled the doctor's unintentional remark again.
Struggling to move his legs, Chen Yi wanted to return home quickly, suspecting that his exhaustion was causing him to hear voices from his dreams.
Chen Yi widened his bloodshot eyes and trudged forward with difficulty.
"Norarich, Farafaso, Isaya..."
The voice continued.
Chen Yi could tell that the voice meant no harm.
It was an urgent call.
Just like a hungry lamb yearning for grass, life in the darkness called for light.
Chen Yi struggled to stay awake, preventing himself from succumbing.
Amidst the mix of consciousness and unconsciousness, Chen Yi finally reached the port.
In the distance lay the vast and beautiful Aegean Sea; under the sunlight, waves gently lapped against the sea's surface.
Spotting the port, Chen Yi finally made it here, only a short distance remained before he could return; he leaned against a lamppost and, unable to support himself any longer, collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath.
"I'm okay, I'm okay."
Chen Yi held his head, the phantom voices still echoing in his mind.
Barely managing to stand up from beside the lamppost, Chen Yi staggered towards the port.
The port was bustling with people, yet few noticed this utterly exhausted man.
Step by step, he drew closer to the gentle Aegean Sea.
Shortly after, Chen Yi stopped.
He slowly bowed his head.
Somehow, he had walked onto the dock, and the waves churned below his feet.
"Norarich, Farafaso, Isaya..."
The hallucinatory voice was clearer than ever before.
Chen Yi looked at the gentle seawater, his body exhausted from days without sleep...
Suddenly, he understood what the voices were saying.
"Salvation from above, King of Kings, Master of Fate, Suffering and Sacrifice, Born Thrice, Perish Thrice, Forged Anew..."
Chen Yi realized that these titles seemed to address someone.
"My God,
your name I shall not forsake."
With those words,
Chen Yi suddenly looked up.
Exhaustion had tamed his body, but his soul yearned to awaken from the prison of life.
His body slowly lowered towards the seawater.
People passed by; upon seeing Chen Yi's actions, they instinctively shouted loudly:
"Sir! Sir! Please stop."
To the bystanders, it seemed Chen Yi was about to fall into the Aegean Sea.
The sea was about to devour a young life.
A passerby rushed over, desperately reaching out to grab hold of Chen Yi.
Time slowed to a crawl, as if frozen.
The ground seemed to solidify at that moment.
Until...
Chen Yi stepped onto the ceaselessly undulating seawater.
The passerby's hand stiffened, his eyes widened in shock.
The sea waves continued unceasingly...
Yet the man walked upon the water!
A miracle...
It was simply a miracle...
The bystanders shivered, their eyes trembling, unable to believe the scene before them.
One step, and then another,
Chen Yi walked on the Aegean Sea.
"Norarich, Farafaso, Isaya..."
That voice called to him, urging him towards another world.
Chen Yi looked down to see his body gradually becoming ethereal amidst the tumbling water.
He suddenly became alert, unable to believe what he was seeing.
My soul...
Walking on the water?!
The hallucinatory voice still echoed by his ear.
"My God,
your name I shall not forsake."
Chen Yi was about to plunge into another world.
The voice urgently called him to another world.
Like a thirsty lamb yearning for grass, life in the darkness called for light.