After high school, things didn't change much for me. I would meet someone new, and at first, it felt good. We would laugh together, share stories, and I would think maybe I could finally open up to them. But every time, just when things started to get serious, my fear would kick in. I would end things before I got hurt. I kept telling myself it was better this way. If I didn't let anyone get too close, I wouldn't have to feel the pain of losing them.
In my last year of college, I met a girl named Abby. She was nice, funny, and we clicked right away. Spending time with her felt easy; we'd grab coffee, study together, and laugh about silly things. She was warm and caring, always checking in or surprising me with little things she knew I'd like. It felt good—like someone finally had my back.
But over time, I noticed small changes. At first, it was little things. If I didn't answer her texts right away, she'd send another, asking if I was okay or what I was doing. It seemed like she was just being caring. But soon, she'd get upset if I went out with friends and didn't tell her. She'd want to know who I was with, what we were doing, and why I didn't invite her. I found myself always explaining my plans, even when I hadn't done anything wrong.
Then she'd show up where I was, even if I hadn't told her. Once, she just appeared at a study session I was having with some friends, saying she missed me and wanted to join. I tried to laugh it off, but it felt strange, like she was keeping tabs on me.
The more she started asking about my day and who I'd seen, the more I felt that tightness in my chest, that feeling of being cornered. She'd say things like, "I just want to be part of your world," or "Why don't you want me around?" It was hard to answer her without feeling guilty, like I was doing something wrong just by needing my own space.
Every time I tried to talk about it, she'd look hurt or act like I was pushing her away. I'd tell myself it was just her way of caring, but deep down, I knew this wasn't how things were supposed to feel. And yet, I didn't know how to change it without hurting her.
One afternoon, Abby looked over at me, a bit of worry in her eyes. "Will, is everything… okay between us?"
"Yeah, sure," I said, trying to keep my voice even, but I could tell she wasn't buying it.
She paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "It's just… you seem different lately. Like, we barely talk like we used to. You don't text much, and when we're together, it feels like you're somewhere else."
I could feel my throat tighten. "It's just been… a lot on my mind, that's all," I said, trying to keep it simple.
Abby looked down, then glanced back up at me. "I know you need space sometimes, and I get that. But it feels like you're slipping away. Did I say or do something wrong?"
I took a deep breath, feeling torn. "No, it's nothing you did. I just… need some room to figure things out."
She nodded slowly, though I could see the hurt in her eyes. "Alright," she said softly, "just don't keep me in the dark, okay? You mean a lot to me."
I nodded, not sure what else to say. I wanted to explain, but the words didn't come. So I just hoped she'd understand.
I'm starting to think she's becoming possessive, and it's getting hard to deal with. It feels like I'm always explaining myself, and I can't even have time with friends without worrying how she'll react. This isn't what I wanted, and now, it's starting to feel too much.
The next day, Abby said, "Will, could you come over to my dorm after school? I really miss you, and we're not hanging out as much anymore." She looked sad, so I agreed. "Sure, I'll go to your dorm," I said, trying to reassure her with a smile.
But even as I said it, I felt a twinge of guilt. I knew she could be clingy at times, and it was starting to limit what I wanted to do. That's why I had been avoiding her recently.
When I got to Abby's dorm later that day, she was already waiting for me. The moment I walked in, she gave me a big smile and pulled me into a hug. "I'm so glad you came!" she said, sounding really happy. Her smile made me feel warm inside.
We sat on her bed, and she started talking about her day, telling little stories and updates. I laughed and listened, feeling pretty relaxed. She kept looking at me closely, almost like she was trying to figure out what I was thinking.
After a bit, Abby asked, "Will, do you think we should hang out more? I miss spending time with you."
I thought for a second. "Yeah, I like hanging out, too," I said, keeping it light. "But we should also do our own things sometimes, right?"
She looked at me, a little unsure. "I just want to be with you," she said softly.
I nodded, giving her a small smile. "I get that. Let's just see how it goes, okay?"
Suddenly, she threw herself at me and kissed me hard. It surprised me, and I felt a mix of emotions—shock, excitement, and a little confusion. Her lips were warm against mine, and for a moment, nothing else mattered. But as I kissed her back, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was more than just a nice moment; it showed how much she wanted me close.
When she pulled back, Abby looked into my eyes with a look that made my heart race. "See? This is what I want, Will. I want us to be close," she said, her voice hopeful and needy.
I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of her words. I wanted to enjoy this moment, but I also felt the pressure of her feelings on me. "I want that too, Abby," I said, trying to stay calm. "But we need to find a balance. I don't want us to lose ourselves in each other."
She nodded slowly, but I could tell she was trying to understand what I meant. I saw worry in her eyes, and I knew things were getting complicated between us. I just hoped we could figure it out without hurting each other.
Then she kept kissing me, and I found myself giving in. I forgot about everything else and just felt the warmth of her lips against mine. It was exciting, and for that moment, I didn't want to think about anything. I just let myself enjoy being close to her, feeling the spark between us grow.
She pushed me gently, and I fell back on the bed. Abby looked at me with that strong, wanting look in her eyes, then kissed me again and started unbuttoning my shirt. I helped her, and she stopped to unbutton her blouse, looking at me the whole time. Even with her underwear still on, she moved against me, pressing herself close, and I felt a feeling I couldn't resist. I wanted more.
Abby really knows how to take charge. Usually, I'm the one who starts things, but with her, she's always the one making the moves.