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Chapter 17 - DON’T WANT TO

SAVANNAH

I never thought I'd experience this humiliation again in my life—practically begging a man to do something intimate with me and being completely rejected.

"I'm sorry, I..." I lowered my head, hoping to hide the shame burning through me.

"Don't apologize for nonsense. I'm the one to blame, no one else." His voice was exasperated.

I glanced up just enough to see him turn away, his back tense as he raked his hand through his hair in frustration. It was like he was fighting something inside.

"Go shower and change. We're having lunch at the Alpha's house. I'll pick you up later," he ordered sharply, not even sparing me a glance before rushing out the door.

Why do I feel so hurt and disappointed? He's the one who started this—what did I do wrong?

"What were you expecting, idiot?" I muttered angrily to myself.

I was furious—for giving in so easily, for breaking my own rule.

"Never make the mistake of being interested in King Fenrir; to him, all women are disposable toys for one-time use."

Maybe he was bored, and I was just another distraction—the scarred oddball he could toy with for a laugh. Or maybe it was payback for turning him down in the dungeon. Whatever the reason, it helped me see things clearly again.

My heart's been broken once. I won't let it happen again.

***

FENRIR

I fled the inn like a coward—that's what I did. I tempted her, whispered shameless things in her ear, driven by my uncontrollable desires, only to walk away like a jerk.

The narrow streets blurred as I headed for the forest.

I needed to transform, to let my beast take over, to fight something—anything to shake the image of her eyes filled with disappointment.

What's happening to me? What is Savannah doing to me?

Ever since I smelled that bitter chocolate scent entering my life, why haven't I been able to stop fantasizing about devouring it?

The forest loomed ahead, wild and dangerous, much like me. Every day, I wish to forget more of my humanity.

I stripped off my clothes, stuffing them into a bush, and summoned the change.

My muscles expanded, bones cracking as they reshaped. Dark fur bristled across my skin as I grew into my Lycan form—the most powerful and yet the loneliest of all.

No matter how many women warm my bed, none can fill the void inside me. And for the first time in centuries, I'm terrified. I fear that's about to change.

I brought my clawed hand to my chest, where that strange sensation throbbed again—an intense pull, driving me to seek her, protect her, possess her completely.

The first time I felt it was when I had her beneath me, her moans filling the air as I caressed her soft skin, touching her in ways that made my beast roar to thrust deep into her and tie us forever.

"NO, NO, NO!" I roared in my mind, running wildly, adrenaline surging through my veins. "I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU ESCAPE! I don't care if she's my soulmate, I won't accept it! Do you hear me? I DON'T WANT TO!"

I knew she heard me, even though the hundreds of restrictions and chains I imposed on her, yet she was too powerful and challenged me, struggling to free herself.

Our wills clashed, and I knew I couldn't let her win. The pain of my past is something I can't bear to relive, especially if Savannah is who I suspect she is.

By the time I returned, I was late for lunch. But I couldn't control myself beforehand. 

The moment I entered the room, I felt the shift in her attitude; she was cold and distant, putting more barriers between us. It wasn't like this at the beginning, when she was merely fearful. Now, it's much worse.

"I've prepared the bath for you, and the change of clothes is on the bed. I'll be waiting downstairs," she said flatly, without meeting my eyes.

She passed me, keeping her distance, and something inside me screamed to pull her close, to kiss her and beg for forgiveness.

"Savannah..." Her name slipped out from my lips, and she stopped rigidly, her back to me and facing the door.

What the hell do I say after screwing up so badly? She probably thinks I'm just like all the others—using her to vent my frustrations.

"Tell the coachman it's not necessary for him to take us," I muttered, resorting to an order like the fool I was.

"Is it really necessary for me to attend, Lord? I'd rather stay," she finally resisted one of my commands.

"You're coming with me," I snapped, my fists clenched so tight my knuckles turned white. "I won't leave you alone."

She nodded once and left, the bitter taste of failure thick in my mouth.

What the hell am I doing?