Despite how high and mighty I have acted… turns out- I also ended up hooked to that stuff.
"You should really quit-" Zina said.
Butt planted on the guardrail by a river flowing through the city, the two of us had ice-cream….
Eina was out with her boyfriend; that adventurer and she actually got together. The shy girl wasn't as shy as I thought.
A calm breeze blew by almost making my skirt flutter.
"Yeah," I managed.
Eyes felt a bit droopy. Lately, I'd lost some weight and felt- not so great. I was hooked to a particular incense. An incense that turned me on way more and made everything 'feel' a lot better. Sometimes just from touching, I'd climax- which was fun in a way. But also taxing in another. Not to mention I needed way more now to feel that same.
I lost about ten pounds, I also ended up gaining a small belly. The incense was banned for a reason and that's why it cost a small fortune, every time I bought some.
Suffice to say, things were not looking good. Not for my body nor for my wallet.
"Also, you didn't tell Allen about your addiction, did you?" Zina was almost done.
"No…" bits of melted ice streaked down my hand-
That guy I'd slept with- the adventurer Allen, happened to be quite good, so I stuck with him for a bit.
"You should. He seemed to really like you. Maybe he'd be able to encourage you to-"
"Oh please. He's a man… all he wants from me is-" I stopped.
Come to think of it. I didn't really know much about the guy. He was handsome, amazing in bed and kind of funny. But that was all. We rarely met up during the day, and I was the one who went to him, not the other way around.
Even just two days ago, I didn't even know his name, despite going at it ever since I came to this city two weeks ago…
Sigh.
"What the fuck am I doing?" I threw the melted ice-cream away, sighing.
A lot of people were just going about their days. The day was basically ending so quite a few of them were probably just going back home. Sometimes, I wanted to go back too, except I didn't have one anymore.
"Don't be so down. You're a really nice person. I'm sure you'll be fine…"
"You're talking like you've already gotten over that drug-"
"I did." A faint grin. "Eina's almost off it too."
She's gotten cuter… No- she just acted more girly. I didn't even notice the change…
No, I didn't want to notice it. Perhaps subconsciously, I thought- I was better than them. And since I couldn't get over it, they couldn't either. I didn't want to admit their change. Sigh.
"I see. I'm glad. I'll try to change…" I forced a smile. Hard.
Few moments later- Zina left.
Leaving me staring at the river, and the distant sun which was about to set.
"Nice person, huh?" Sorry but I wasn't sure about that part.
***
"You're a really nice person! I'm sure you'll find someone better than me!"
I once asked a guy out.
An elf. An elf I'd loved for over two decades. He was my childhood friend. I thought he only liked me, as I only liked him.
But no. He didn't. He saw me as a friend. And that was fine.
Until he rejected me, confessed to his love, got cheated and hung himself. Why did he had to kill himself? Why did he have to just die?
Couldn't he have talked to me? Couldn't he see me? Even if not as a lover but as a friend? As his best friend… we could have talked, we could have figured something out-
Surely!
Sigh… but he didn't. I lost because I was nice. I lost because I wasn't aggressive enough. I lost because… because.
Yeah- being nice was the last thing I wanted….
***
Back at the inn, I went to my room, straight to bed.
Fuck the drug, I was going to sleep.
Except I couldn't. Head throbbing, body going cold- breath going wild. Why the fuck was this so painful?
Why the fuck do I always have to go through this?
Why?
Fuck!
That day, when he died. I went to the elder's place- took the sacred treasure- my Rapier- and impaled the bitch who happened to be two timing my friend.
I impaled her. And got cursed by the rapier. Apparently, it was never meant to be used against an elf. And every curse was different. Every curse was an ideal punishment. I couldn't imagine myself bedding anyone other than that one elf- so- it cursed me to bed any man I could find, and if I didn't- I'd die.
What a joke!
The fucking village threw me out, so I could purify myself or something along those lines. WHAT A FUCKING JOKE!!!
Pant! Pant!
Burning up- yet going cold. An odd feeling. My sweat had already drenched the bed. Yet…
I'm going to die…
Not just from the withdrawal… but also because I hadn't done it in two days…
In the end. Even though I didn't want to see that man for the last two days, he never even bothered to find out why. Yeah. This is why men-
Knock! Knock! "Lise?" a voice-
A familiar voice…
He came?
"Alle-"
Everything went black.
Yeah-
I was dying…