The first time I felt alive was working. Day to night. I worked non-stop. Whether it was day or night, I worked tirelessly. Even if I am underpaid, I worked and worked till my mind went blank. Due to the exhaustion, my body cannot hold it anymore. Eventually, it would lead to my death. Who would've thought I arrived and crossed the lake early?

When I slowly opened my eyes, all I saw was a pitch darkness. A voice rang through my left ears. It sounded very soothing as if my mother was singing a lullaby. I couldn't tell if it was a man's or a woman's. My mind, all fuzzy and foggy, my visions, all dark, yet, this graceful voice of someone or something has soothed me.

"My child. Your time is up. Leave all your longings, strings and memories behind. It is time to be in peace."

I looked back at the sound. A dark figure stood close to me as it was rowing the boat. I couldn't tell their gender no matter how I looked at them. Their face resembles a beautiful woman, yet, their body was the opposite. Their voice was neither a guy nor a girl. I was sure of them. They were what my mother used to told me, a grim reaper.

My eyes slowly looked down as I finally realized that we were at a lake. So the myth was true. We all cross the lake after death. It was dark, yet, the moon shone brightly. Reflecting on the water surface, it felt like I was actually on the moon. The sky was clear, no clouds, no starry nights. What a shame. It could've been more poetic and peaceful if there was one.

Hearing the no replies from me, the grim reaper must've thought I was mute or something. They didn't speak another word. They quietly rowed the boat as all I could hear was the echo of the water and waves. I am finally at peace.

But. I knew this wasn't my time. I wasn't dead. I maybe a soul in this state but the "grim reaper" behind me is fake. How do I know? Easy. A grim reaper would never speak this calmly. Their voice is never soothing even if you forced it.

And, the path to the underworld or the after life was never dark. There's at least one lantern attached to the boat yet it was completely dark. And a grim reaper certainly does not have a face. Even if they took of their hoods, they always remain faceless. How do I know? I just guess it and trust my gut feelings.

I turned around as I faced the "grim reaper". Unconsciously, my lips curled up. Sensing that something was wrong with me, they spoke up.

"What's wrong, my child?"

"What's my name?" I asked. My eyes scanning at the so-called grim reaper.

Stunned by the sudden question, they remained silent. Knew it. This fake-ass is trying to trap my soul. Fuck off. I maybe suicidal but I ain't havingy soul trapped!

"It is called, Ennit Raynor, bitch!"

I cursed underneath my breath as I took a step backward. Before they knew it, I jumped down to the dark lake. Even if my soul shatters, at least I won't be reborn again. My life— No. My destiny is mine to decide. Not even the heaven nor the afterlife could effect me.. Or is it even mine?

I guess not. Instead of the eternal peace I yearned for, I, Ennit Raynor, opens my eyes again. Dang it. Can't I not exist? I've been suicidal my whole fucking life. Can't you just fulfill my wish? God? Heavens? Hello? Nevermind, I take back the words I said before. My destiny wasn't even mine to decide.