"What the Fuck?!"
Ike Kanji asked himself, not too loudly nor too softly, as he tried to make sense of his Dream like situation.
At that moment, had someone been nearby, they would likely have asked, "Is everything alright, Ike. Why are you acting like Yamauchi?"
But truthfully, he, himself would likely have been unable to give a straightforward answer.
The reason wasn't because he was insane—far from it—but because the words he'd utter would sound equally insane.
"I'm not Ike though?"
Anyone hearing this statement would understandably think, 'What the fuck?!'
However, upon a moment of reflection, if the person speaking to him were more empathetic, they might comfort like this:
"It's okay, Kanji, you need not loathe yourself."
Because, it was very likely that most people would assume he was joking—or worse, spiraling into a deep depression and self hatred all these time, and behold, all those pent up thoughts erupted in that instance.
But no, what Kanji stated was the literal truth, and it was far stranger and equally absurd.
And because what he said was the truth, Kanji, sensing that he had been misunderstood would become very annoyed.
More likely than not, those stray sympathies may very well drove him to insanity.
At best the veins that would now be visible through his skin, not due to the heat, that were stretch all acrossed his body would comically burst due to irritation alone.
Well... Returning to the original question, it was a deep, meaningful question for sure—philosophically, rhetorically, or symbolically.
Although the vocabulary used wasn't quite eloquent.
Indeed, there are many things in "this" world that are wrong and could earn the exclamation, "What the Fuck?!" for themselves.
In fact, it arguably could be applied to most things.
So, one might wonder: what in the world was wrong with Ike Kanji?
"Where am I?" he muttered to himself again, his voice tinged with confusion as he glanced at his surroundings.
"Is this my dream?" he questioned, immediately attempting to snap his fingers, but he swiftly realized something was obstructing him from doing so.
It was at that moment that he finally took noticed of the discrepancy.
So, he slowly glanced down at his arms and noticed a bundle of dry sticks there.
Though they weren't particularly numerous or heavy, his muscles were already protesting.
"REALLY, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!"
The sticks on his arms were dry, and their quantity could only be described as not too small at most.
But he could feel irritation already building in his flexor and extensor compartments.
Quite simply, his arms ached as though he'd been carrying boulders, it was a humiliating thing to admit as a sane man, so he refused to say it aloud.
'Why does this feel so exhausting? Is this really not my dream?'
He was extremely distraught, though he didn't understand what was happening to him, a subtle sense of hesitation was slowly fermenting inside his heart.
'I loathe this sensation,' he complained, hating the fact that his muscles found the small amount of sticks he'd carried to be heavy.
While he was contemplating whether he should drop the sticks or not, a voice interrupted his thoughts.
It was soft and melodious.
"You seem very healthy, boss." The voice was casual, yet oddly elegant in its accent.
His pronunciation of each word, his enunciation, and the relaxed yet joyous tone in which he delivered the words were so uniquely graceful that Kanji couldn't decipher what the words meant for a few seconds.
A few moments of silence passed just like that, as even the forest surrounding him seemed to settle down; perhaps hoping that particular someone may speak once more, for this time it wants to clearly capture the grace that were.
"...H-hello~? Can you hear me not?"
The same male voice asked again, slightly hesitant.
It was husky and deep, yet it also simultaneously sounded like that of a boy just before puberty.
"S-sorry?" Kanji stammered, regaining a semblance of composure.
Kanji recovered from his dazed state and turned toward the source.
"I pardon you," the voice responded with a playful chuckle as Kanji's eyes landed on the speaker: it was a boy about his height but strikingly different in appearance.
"Hmm... Although, I would have preferred to have spooked you out a bit.~"
The boy had a sharp jawline that would make one question whether or not the divine one had personally done the craft carefully, inch by inch.
His shapely crafted face looked even more delicate due to the youthful, almost babyish flesh, to the point that even fantasizing of touching feels like a terrible sin.
The soft hazel eyes that he bore sparkled kindly beneath his deep set brows, radiating the natural charm only someone sinless may have.
Witnessing this overwhelmingly charismatic face, Kanji too, was frozen, unable to form a coherent sentence, his mouth agape.
The boy, noticing Kanji's exaggerated reaction, giggled and smiled warmly.
"Hmm... Let's set that aside for now. Go ahead—ask your question, boss."
"Uh, um... W-who are you?" Kanji, regaining his senses, questioned, observing the boy carefully, scanning him up and down.
Hearing this question, the boy's expression immediately transformed—not in a literal sense, of course, but the nuance in his features shifted definitely.
And...
"Be not afraid..." He proclaimed solemnly, with an eerily serious voice, accompanied by a similarly ominous tone.
But in the end, it appeared he could not keep himself from laughing out loud, as he huffed out, chuckling heartily towards the end of his statement.
"Ha ha ha, forgive me, I always wanted to say that at least once, you see~?"
The boy baffled Kanji, who just silently stared at him with an expression as if he'd just unwillingly inhaled a particularly bitter liquor.
But in the end, to gain more information, all he could do was wait, so he did.
"Ah... Well, that was uncalled for~..." The boy inhaled sharply.
For a few more seconds, the boy collected himself while Kanji just stood still and waited, even forgetting his previously strained muscles.
"I was too happy to finally be able to speak with you, boss. I was hoping I'd make a few jokes to cheer you up."
"If you are filled with such a joy to see me, you should answer my question," Kanji suggested, with a lethal capacity of venom lacing his words.
"Forgive me, but I'm not in the mood to answer, and I can already imagine you have some guesses."
—CRACK
Hearing the response that he expected, but at the same time, hate, Kanji strengthened his grip and closed his eyes.
He did his best to not lose his temper, but he feared that he would lose it at any moment.
—Inhale... Exhale... Inhale... Exhale...
"Okay, okay~," He waved his hand sheepishly to calm Kanji down, les he wished for Kanji to actually burst.
To be honest, Kanji was also quite surprised at this moment; he had never been sarcastic with someone he was unfamiliar with, but the boy who stood in front of him was strangely irritating.
It would be akin to how only your siblings could push your buttons to make you seethe with intense rage.
And the reason is because they were responsible for developing that particular button to begin with.
This boy in front of Kanji, while playful, was perfectly executing the role, and strangely, Kanji himself was comfortable enough to be sarcastic with him.
It was as if Kanji instinctively accept this boy in front of him as someone whom he beheld closely, which he found to be similarly weird.
"Let me explain before you combust. You're not hallucinating, boss. You've transmigrated." He offered, lifting his face skyward, and pinching his chin.
"Trans—what?!"
"You've entered another world. Specifically, the world of Classroom of the Elite. A slightly altered version alas, because I thought it'd suit you better."
He calmly delivered this information in that same relaxing style of speaking.
"What the hell are you talking about!?" Kanji finally snapped.
"Simply put, you're Ike Kanji now. But you didn't replace him. Your consciousness is now linked to his. Well, he was you to begin with, a parallel version of you, to be exact. You and he are essentially the same person, and... merged now. Got it?"
The boy, perhaps finishing all that he wished to say, removed his gaze from the sky and turned it toward Ike Kanji, who wore a bewildered expression.
"You can ask now."
"This... Dream, no?"
"No."
Kanji stared blankly, trying to process all of thus; given how efficient his mind was. He failed miserably.
"Why, you, I, incar..."
Because the thought that manage to materialize in his head were too incoherent at the moment, he first decided to collect himself.
So, he stop thinking altogether and inhaled sharply a few times.
And finally, he asked, "Why?"
"Because it was judged that you deserve more. I pleaded for this chance on your behalf."
"Judged? By whom?"
The boy didn't answer but stood silently for a few seconds, making the atmosphere more bizarre than it already was.
He did not chose to give an answer, instead he offer a bitter smile.
"I... am your guardian, I suppose. I've been with you since the beginning—before you spoke your first words, I was with you when you first decided to speak, I was also beside you when you began crawling, even before you were conceived, and even before you were supposed to exist."
In response, Kanji could only frown speechlessly.
The boy's tone was filled with a strange mix of nostalgia and sadness, making it very difficult to dismiss his words as mere nonsense.
"Your life... it wasn't great, was it?" The boy continued, his voice soft. "I always wished I could talk to you, you know?"
There was a moment of silence again.
Kanji was overwhelmed, even still his skepticism refused to disappear, and he struggled to offer a response.
It was not that he think it was something implausible, or that he think this was still the same fantasy he always had.
The amount of information he gained was just so enormous that it was a tad bit difficult to conclude his final judgement at the moment.
"Yeah..." was all he could say.
"Anyway, forget it. This might be the last time I may appear in front of you..."
Opening his mouth, it seemed like the boy was about to add more, but in the end, he decided not to.
There was a strained silence again, as if the boy didn't exactly know what to say more or what to say less.
There was a conflict within him, Kanji noted, knitting his brows, but before long, the boy puff.
"Ha ha... Anyway, it might be abrupt, but let's change the subject—"
It was then Kanji finally chooses to interrupted, "I don't understand how you manage to talk in the most convoluted way possible."
"Ha ha... I'm Sure You Would Get It..." The boy raised his voice, sounding deliberately more cheerful.
"To the important parts! You have a few gifts from me...
Firstly, because I know you well, I present you with an ability to adapt. Basically, with this, you'll match anyone who challenges you. If they're strong, you'll be just as strong—plus a little extra."
"....¿?"
"Don't give me that skeptical look; with this, you will match anyone who confronts you. Isn't that cool?"
"Ha? Why not..." Kanji tried to casually suggest something else, but before he could finish, he noticed something strange so he abruptly stop mid sentence.
The forest around them had gone eerily still.
Leaves hung frozen in mid air, and a ladybug that had been flying past was suspended motionless.
With thousands of different thoughts racing through his head, he looked around, forgetting his previous dialogue.
"Why not?" The boy, perhaps wanting to continue the conversation, prompted.
"Uh, oh... Apologies." He returned his gaze to the boy, who was still warmly looking over.
"Uh, things... seem like they are... frozen?"
"Yes, because I wished to speak with you."
"Oh, wow..." Kanji moved his eyes again.
'This is just like my dream, I hadn't a lucid dream for a bit...' Finally he jolted.
"…Time stopped?" Kanji whispered to himself, his voice tinged with awe.
Then, without thinking, he blurted out, "I want a time sexstop watch—wait, no! That's not what I meant! That's not what I mean!!!"
The boy's warm smile remained unchanged, but Kanji could sense a subtle shift in his demeanor; the corners of his eyes twitched slightly even.
All in all, he looked like a disappointed teacher catching his favorite student cheating.
"I'm disappointed, boss," the boy muttered with a sigh.
"And no, your ability is cooler. As I said, you can immediately match whoever confronts you. For example, if they're at strength two, you will instantly be at strength two, plus your original strength."
"Tsk... Thui..."
"Also your dynamic vision—" The boy's mouth twitched slightly as Kanji spat in dissatisfaction.
"Did you just 'tsk' at me?"
"No, I don't remember ever doing that."
"You did, you lie, you lyer... Anyway..." The boy accused, but Kanji just look away.
The boy looked at his body and chuckled, "Remember, it is entirely because of me that you are here."
Frowning, Kanji gave him a sidelong glance.
"Is that a threat?"
"A ha ha, no, just let me finish. As I said, it is entirely because of me that you are here. While I wanted you to act in an orthodox way, I can certainly guess that you would fail to do so..."
The boy looked downcast, "Keeping that aside, as mentioned before, there are discrepancies between what you know and this world. It is your discretion to act however you wish..."
As he spoke, his form began to fade, dissolving into the still air.
"Most of all... live well, boss," he said, his voice echoing faintly. "Oh! And you'll grow too. That's my second gift."
And just like that, he was gone.
Kanji stood there, again dumbfounded, clutching his bundle of sticks tighter as the forest resumed its gentle rustling around him.
"What the hell…" he muttered again, his voice barely above a whisper this time.