Sakura Airi was a bland character.
She was certainly not a person who had a great presence or someone people normally remembered.
She did not hate that.
In fact she hate any and all kinds of attention that she'd unwillingly attracts instead, it was one of the reason she chose to enroll on ANHS.
She used to be quite popular back in the days you see, attracting all sorts of eyes to herself because she was an Idol.
But that was not her desire.
Although she did not hate being an Idol, she hate the attention being an Idol brought to her.
She sound like a really unpleasant women to be around, isn't she?
If such a person were a character inside a novel, I'm afraid many people would find her irritating.
If you also think that way, please do not hate me at least. I'm fine if you think I am boring, but please don't hate me.
I am happy to just blend into the surrounding unbothered, while also not bothering anyone.
I prefer to spend my days that way, while I'd take pictures of flowers, shadows, or myself.
Maybe people would find it suprising if they were to know about my hobby, but I actually like snapping photos.
It puts me at ease.
One evening, while I was strolling around the place I frequented to, searching for a good spot to take a picture, I found four guys meeting at the corner of that building.
I thought it was weird, the place was an old building that was not used often, with no security camera, it was a very odd place to hang out.
Being myself, I immediately hid behind the wall instinctively.
Because I was shy, timid and also because it was my survival instinc kicking in.
I was so nervous I could even feel the heart that pounded in my chest.
In the beginning they were relatively calm with one of them being louder than the other three, but it resembled a normal conversation at least.
However, the only thing I want then was for them to leave.
While I did not own the place, I couldn't wait for them to leave quickly so I could continue doing my thing.
And I don't think they enjoy being in that building either.
Because that day was particularly hot and the building had nothing to cool it's inside.
But, to my suprised and what I feared most, the relatively calm communication between them turns into a physical confrontation.
It was three against one, an unequal fight by all means.
And, I did not realise this at the start, but one of them was actually my classmate named Sudo Ken.
He had a very bad temper from what I could remember. But to my suprised, he was not the one to throw the first punch.
I have never been in a situation like that, as it was my first time being exposed to such a thing.
While scared, and even without my realisation, my hand moved on its own, right...
There was something I could do, the only thing I could do in fact.
Beside aiming my digital camera and recording the scene, I could only stayed frozen, with my back pressed tightly against the cold cement wall.
Even now when I recalled that moment, I still don't quite understand why and how I did that.
I couldn't move.
I didn't even dare breathe too loudly, too afraid they'd notice me.
As I mention, it was an unequal fight between almost an equally large group of guys, although Sudo-kun was really, just slightly in a better shape than them.
To my suprised however, Sudo kun actually manage to overpowered them and beat them up.
It was still a one sided fight, but from a corner that was completely unexpected.
Because I was a bit far away from them I couldn't hear what was said clearly, beside the initial shouts by Sudo-kun.
When the fight was finally over and Sudo Kun was about to leave, I realise it was not good.
I could not move, because if I do, sudo Kun would see me. And I don't want to involve myself.
While I was filled with inner turmoil, not knowing what to do, there was a movement from the ground again.
Unexpectedly, one of the guys says something smugly to sudo and they argued again.
While I took advantage of that moment to escape swiftly.
------
"Sakura-san, were you present at the incident that cause sudo to be punished. If so we would like your testimony."
It was horikita San who'd ask me those questions with a sharp eyes not long after the incident.
"I—I don't know what you are talking about. Please excuse me."
I tried to make my exit, but Horikita san chase me down while asking all sorts of question that I could not answer.
Even if I could answer it would have been all a lie though.
If she ask me with a calmer tone, and not with those sharp eyes... Maybe then I could have probably been less nervous and give an answer... Maybe... No that was a lie.
I was too afraid to say the truth, I don't want to be involved... Please do not involve me.
I was just too anxious to testify in front of the teachers and the student council members who would have been present if I do decide to testify.
"Even if I actually did testify, they won't trust me," I comforted myself that way. "Nobody would trust a hesitating mess, they would just think I make it up."
Just Imagining the situation of me standing in front of the crowds, trying to articulate what I saw that evening...
The situation in my own mind manage to make me weak in the knees to the point I could no longer walk.
After many attempts by Horikita san herself, most likely because she also told other people that I was the witnessed, even though she have no evidence, all kind of people came to me, and beg me to testify.
As I said, I was anxious. But even so it wasn't like I did not want to help sudo Kun.
It's just that, I was too terrified.
Maybe because I refused them so many times in a row, at some point they gave up asking me and stop coming altogether.
In retrospect that made me feel even more guilt, it would be my fault if our class fell, I realise that.
It would be my fault if Sudo Kun was expelled, it would be my fault for that, and for this and everything...
Eventually the time provided for our class to search any evidence was almost up, and thus the day for the hearing.
I realise, and I knew that without my help, my classmates would most certainly fail to prove Sudo Kun's Innocence.
So, I finally made my decision.
"Horikita San, T—this, here is e—evidence, use it, but d—don't involve me."
Because I was filled with so much guilt for so long, I ultimately decided to offer my prize possession and immediately withdrew.
I don't know what they'll do with it, and I don't want to know either.
I did the bare minimum, so please, please take care...
And just as I'd hope, I don't know how, but it seems like they manage to prove sudo kun's innocence after that.
When Horikita san came to return my digital camera, I could sense that she was not really amused.
While avoiding her gaze, I mutter a quick "Thank you," and ran off before she could say anything else.
Maybe Horikita san, kushida san or sudo Kun talk about the event to more of our classmates, the eyes that trails me afterwards were really not kind.
Why were they so hostile?
In the end it was because of me that sudo kun was saved.
So why did those guys talks behind my back?
I just wanted to stay hidden, blend in with the surrounding. Was that wish so difficult to grant?
Just ignore me like you always did in the past... Please.
It was so hard to live with the constant negative attention.
"Sa... Sakura san?"
Oh no, I was supposed to pick up dry woods.
While I was lost in my own world, Ike Kun has already returned and called out to me.
"Uh um, um Ike Kun?"
"Sorry did I leave you for too long."
"N—No, I was just resting."
"Ha ha... I thought you would have been scared. Turns out you have more courage than Yamauchi."
"..." I try to look at his profile, and as I did, I realise his eyes were not really on me because he was looking at the surrounding.
Maybe because he felt my gaze, he slowly returned his eyes to me, and smiles bitterly as I look away.
"Guess what Sakura san?"
"W—What is it~?"
"No... You guess..."
"..." I hesitantly look at him again, trying to read his emotion.
"I was just joking." He blurted out, interrupting my investigation. "I don't remember the way back."
"W—what?!"
"I was wondering if you knew."
"S—sorry, I didn't." I swiftly respond, shaking my head.
But a new dread quickly filled me as I stiffened up.
"W—What will w... We do Ike Kun?"
Hearing my question, Ike Kun closes his eyes and seems to appear thoughtful for a second.
"Hmm... Well, I guess it's not that difficult to trace our trail back."
"R—Really?"
"Well... I am quite excellent when it comes to hiking you see. You can trust me." He said, smiling thinly.
"I... I see, Ike Kun is really reliable..."
"Sakura san?" While knitting his brows slightly, Ike Kun called out as he saw the bundle of sticks I was hugging.
"Sigh.... Can we take a break there?" He gestures with his chin, "I'm slightly tired."
Without waiting for my input, he immediately approach the tree he gestured swiftly, putting down the bundle he carried to the side and plopped himself down.
Because I was also feeling a bit tired, I follow him suit, also putting down mine close to his, but sat at quite a distance away from him.
For a moment I felt as if Ike kun was looking at me, but when I send a quick glance to make sure, it seems like I was mistaken as he was just picking up dry leaves.
We both sat quitely like that for a while until he broke the silence first.
"Sakura san..." Ike kun spoke nicely, while tearing off the leaf he'd pick up from the side. "Are you afraid of looking at people to their eye?"
I couldn't reply immediately, I thought of a way to avoid the answer, but realise there is no reason to not give the answer as most people have already known of it.
"Y—yes."
"Heee..."
I feel his side glance prickling to my skin.
Although the gaze was subtle and non assessing, it was still making me feel horribly uncomfortable.
As a result, I stiffened up and curled myself inward, drawing my knees and hugging them close to my chest.
Maybe Ike Kun realise that I feel very apprehensive because of his stare, Ike Kun quickly moved his eyes and continued.
"Have you considered why you are fearful of them?"
"...No."
"I see..." He kept to himself for a bit, choosing his next words carefully.
"Then would you try to rationalize the reason?"
"Why?... If—If you, can answer."
He threw away the leaf he was playing with, smiling smugly to my questions and dust off his hands.
"There is a famous saying," He said, cracking up his hands and snapping his fingers.
"...'When you understand the problem, you already half finished solving'...." He frowned, "Or something like that, if I remember correctly."
"I S—Suppose, I can T—try."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sakura's monologue and dialogues are mad difficult to craft. I still felt unsatisfied.