I've stopped waiting at the school gate.
He tries to keep his distance from Miyuki.
The reason is clear.
To avoid crossing the line.
Miyuki crossed the line the other day with her kiss.
And I'm convinced.
I'm not going to act indecisively anymore.
I'm determined to draw a clear line.
"...I'm back."
I said with a nonchalant expression as I opened the front door and saw Miyuki walking in.
"You're home?"
"...."
"...."
Silence, and then an answer.
Silence stretched between us.
I broke the silence first.
"It's Miyuki."
"...."
"It's not like my brother has a girlfriend or anything."
"Forget it."
Miyuki's words shortened.
Something is bothering her.
"I won't talk to you again until this is resolved. Bye."
"Miyuki...."
"There must be some external factor that caused you to change like this."
"...."
No matter how much I explain, Miyuki is firmly in the wrong.
As if being a close relative is a natural love for her in the first place.
I sighed inwardly and said.
"Whether my brother has a girlfriend or not, there will be no such relationship in the future."
"...You mean you'd push her away if I tried?"
"Yeah."
"...Would you?"
Miyuki's face turned cold.
"Then I have a way."
"...A way?"
"Hmm."
Miyuki went back to her room.
I sensed something was wrong.
I trusted my instincts and forced open Miyuki's locked door.
The door hit the wall with a bang, and Miyuki was trying to slice her arm with a kitchen knife.
The moment I saw it, I instinctively screamed.
"Miyuki!!!
Stop!
I barely managed to block the knife with my hand.
My hand was bleeding profusely from the cut.
Miyuki bit her lip.
"Stop it. Do you think this is the only place I can kill myself?"
"What the hell do you think you're doing!"
"Trying to kill myself."
"What!"
Miyuki blurted out with a nonchalant expression.
"I'd rather die than not be loved by my brother, that's my life, my world is made up of him, and he abandoned me, so I have to die."
When Miyuki tried to raise the knife again, I forcibly took it away from her.
"Stop it, Miyuki!"
"Stop it, why are you trying to control something that wants to die?"
"...Miyuki, this isn't right.... This is not right. I can't have you dying just because of me."
"Barely? I told you before, you're my world. You."
"...."
There was silence.
Miyuki pulled out a first aid kit and treated my stab wound.
"Even if I die, you can't get hurt. I don't want him to see me dead."
It's a ridiculous obsession.
He's trying to solve it by dying....
She's crazy! My sister!
"Fufu."
Finished with her treatment, Miyuki smiled ruefully.
"Are you done now, would you mind going back or should I leave?"
"It's ...Miyuki."
A million things went through my mind quickly.
One proposition is that I must never let my sister die.
"It's Miyuki."
"Tell me."
"What do you want from your brother?"
"Love."
"How many times have I told you, you can't have that?"
"...It's not like I'm asking for it right away. I was going to wait long enough, until you pushed me away this morning."
"...Fuck!"
The answer is simple.
Miyuki just needs to have rational love.
But I know how ridiculous that answer is.
We are blood relatives.
We are brother and sister, family until death do us part.
So what the hell does he mean when he says he'll die if I don't give him love?
'But if I don't back down, Miyuki will definitely die. If I don't back down....'
I closed my eyes, still, and then opened them.
Then I spoke to Miyuki.
"...I'll give up on pushing you away."
"And don't see that bitch who possessed your brother anymore."
The cold words burrowed into my ears.
I say, half-surrendering.
"Okay."
"And the terms have changed. It's always been me hanging on, now you have to do something for me."
"What do you want me to do?"
Miyuki said, licking her palm covered in my blood.
"I'll think about it slowly."
*****
The ruckus is over.
But "finished" is an understatement.
I had given in to Miyuki.
The clear lines I'd drawn have been blurred again.
Miyuki got what she wanted.
"What the hell... what's wrong with me...."
It's foolish to think about the root of the obsession.
Only Miyuki herself would know that.
In any case, you should announce your breakup as promised.
I promised Kaori I wouldn't see her, so shouldn't I at least text her?
I took out my phone and tapped my finger.
The reply came quickly.
She didn't reply again.
I regretted that I should have done it over the phone, but maybe texting is the best way to end a casual relationship.
"Miyuki. I did what you wanted."
I said to myself in my room.
"If you wanted to threaten me with death, I'd give in to that, but...."
I looked at the ceiling.
"You should also keep in mind that if you cross that last line, it could go the other way."
Miyuki is still a dear little sister to me.
But she's become a headache.
A headache with a love obsession.
*****
"Kaoria, why are you crying."
"Don't cry. What's wrong?"
"Did your grades not go well, did you have a fight with your mom?"
Practice room.
My sisters rush at me.
But I can't control the tears that are falling down my face.
The text means I've been dumped.
They don't care about my slender body.
Good.
Then I'll do something about it.
I've already thought of several ways to do that....
" but... black black. That's too harsh.... Eh, a sudden breakup notice.... Black."
I'm just going to shed tears today....