Night had fallen.
I steeled myself and knocked on my sister's room.
knock knock.
-Come in.
When I heard a sound from inside, I grabbed the doorknob and yanked it open.
"Woohoo. You came as promised."
"...What's the condition?"
"What's wrong with you? Come to my side. Big brother♥"
Miyuki pointed to the side of the bed where she was sitting.
I quietly went over and sat down.
"Big brother."
"Huh?"
"I'm so sorry."
Miyuki said as if drawing on the past.
"Once upon a time, when Mom and Dad died, at the funeral, I told you to take responsibility. Mom and Dad died because you said you wanted to go skiing for nothing. I can't forget the look on his face, the way he felt sorry for me."
Miyuki's words reminded me of the past.
I did.
It is my past that I want to atone for.
Miyuki's eyes got wet.
"You didn't do anything wrong... I just wanted to blame someone. After all, my mom and dad were killed by a drunk driver, right? You were badly injured and I was the only one who was unharmed.... I blamed my brother, didn't I? I really did... Even now, I feel stupid, stupid, stupid. It's a past I really want to forget."
"Miyukiya...."
"Brother, I'll say it from the bottom of my heart. I'm sorry for the stupid things I did back then.... I'm so sorry."
"...Forget it. It's already in the past."
"Thank you. Big brother...."
There was silence for a while.
Miyuki spoke.
"I'll be okay, big brother. I'm confident."
"Confident in what?"
"That even if a child is born sick from the curse of the bloodline, I'll raise it strong and cherish it."
"...What do you mean?"
"I want to give my first to you."
Miyuki suddenly undresses.
I grabbed her hand and stopped her.
"Let go."
"Get it together. Miyuki."
"Let go. Can't we just forget about being blood relatives for one day?"
"No, I can't. I can never do that."
"Even if I ask?"
Miyuki emphasized her half-off top.
"Miyuki. Do you think I'd fall for that?"
"I thought so, but you have to keep your promise to me, don't you? Right, big brother?"
"I can't. You can't use a promise like that."
"You're not going to keep your promise?"
Miyuki looked at me with dead eyes.
I bit my lip and pulled the kitchen knife I'd secretly packed before entering the room from behind my back.
"Miyuki."
"Big brother...?"
"You threatened me with suicide the other day, what would it be like to be in the opposite position?"
"What?"
I slashed my wrist with the kitchen knife.
In an instant, a fountain of blood erupted.
The blood splattered on Miyuki's face and her face instantly stiffened.
"Mu, what are you doing!!! What are you doing!!!"
"It's your fault. You did it."
"Are you kidding me! I can die, but you...!"
"Miyuki."
I stared straight at Miyuki.
"There is no such thing in the world. If you die, I will die. That's how important you are to me. Do you have the slightest idea how much my heart broke when you threatened me with suicide?"
"Big brother... hurry up and give me first aid...!"
"Answer me, Miyuki!!!"
I grabbed both of Miyuki's shoulders.
Her right shoulder was wet with blood.
"Never again. Swear to me that you won't do that shit. Swear to me that you won't die from something like me. Swear to me that you won't make threats like that... right now!"
Tears streamed from Miyuki's eyes.
Miyuki sobbed uncontrollably.
"Mi, I'm sorry... big brother.... Because of my stupid self, my brother hurt himself... hehehe."
Miyuki hyperventilated and struggled to breathe.
That was enough.
I managed to tourniquet her right wrist, though she was still very dizzy.
It's an unsightly scar, but if Miyuki stays in line, it'll be worth it.
Miyuki's sobs echoed through the room.
"Hhhhh.... Hhhhhh...."
"Miyuki."
"I'm sorry... Hmph. I've been in your shoes. I know what you're feeling, hmph."
I'm in no mood to say that now that I've kept my promise.
There were bloodstains all over the room.
Miyuki's and mine.
A wave of dizziness washed over me, but I swallowed hard and spoke.
"...You're my precious little sister, we're family, and we're brother and sister, and we love each other enough, even if it's not necessarily as opposite sexes. There's no one in the world who cares more about each other than the two of us. You're my sister, you can't be seen as a woman, so don't do stupid things again. Don't ever do anything stupid again. Don't do it...."
"Blackblackblack.... Big brother.... I'm sorry...."
That was enough shock therapy, Miyuki thought to herself.
That's it.
Her consciousness is getting duller by the second.
She must have lost quite a bit of blood....
....
....
******
I'm dreaming.
Did you know that lucid dreaming is when you realize you're dreaming?
In my dream, my childhood self and Miyuki are singing excitedly in the back of a car.
In front of us are my dad and mom in the driver's and passenger's seats.
We enter a tunnel.
A car driving in reverse from the opposite direction crashes into us.
Mom and Dad bleed to death.
I wrap my arms around Miyuki, who is badly injured.
Miyuki was luckily unharmed.
The tape rushes forward.
At the funeral, relatives and acquaintances of Mom and Dad pat my shoulder and offer their sympathy.
Miyuki resents me.
It's okay.
If I, if I hadn't asked her to go to the ski resort, she wouldn't have lost her parents.
I have to take responsibility.
I want Miyuki to grow up happy.
I want Miyuki to grow up without lacking anything.
I have to take responsibility.
That is my only atonement.
So I took care of Miyuki from a young age, as the head of the family, as a big brother, as a parent, and I was always by her side.
I spent such a long time.
I wonder if it was because I spent so much time.
Miyuki became rationalized by me.
And then a myriad of events happen.
I just wanted to keep the peace at home.
It has left me perplexed and confused.
But it will be resolved.
Because... Miyuki is my good, cute, pretty little sister.
-Hehehe.... I'm sorry, big brother. I'll be a good little sister from now on. Hmph. Hmph.
I hear my sister's voice from somewhere.
It's a trustworthy sound.