After dinner, Neris asked Adam's priest about Ren's whereabouts.
Adam's priest informed Neris as if it were new that Ren personally cleans the chapel every evening. She admired his thoroughness when she learned that he even took care of the image of the devout believers who offered evening prayers.
"Well, with such thoroughness, he must have risen to his current position at that age."
According to Kledwin's explanation, Ren did have a sponsor looking out for him. Nevertheless, even though he had retired a long time ago, it was Ren's own ability that allowed him to make such a leap with just a small foothold.
"He certainly looks like an angel on the surface."
To Neris, who remembered the mischievous student from her childhood, the investigation sometimes felt amusing. A faithful and pure-hearted priest like Ren.
Of course, if they were going to form an alliance, it was good to form it with such a thorough person.
Neris now walked through the quiet first floor as the curfew began outside. And when she reached the tightly closed chapel, she heard a strange sound coming from inside.
It sounded like the wind, like flowing water, low, intermittent, yet continuous...
A crying sound.
Neris's mind became complicated for a moment. After some contemplation, she gently pushed the chapel door open.
Indeed, the sound coming from inside the chapel was crying.
The candlelight, distorted by the night's twisted shadows, the ornate pulpit where the priests preached against the background. Above it, the small candles flickered fiercely as if they would go out at any moment.
The chapel was almost empty. There was only one person left.
"The only one sitting in the middle of the chairs lined up for the believers to sit on was Ren, lying face down.
Neris hesitated once again. Ren was clearly sobbing. She couldn't decide whether to talk to him or not.
After a moment of contemplation, she stepped back. As she cautiously tried to close the door, a small creaking sound echoed inside the chapel at that moment.
"Who's there?"
Ren raised his head sharply and turned around. Neris felt uneasy at the anger and confusion on his face. Even she wouldn't want anyone to see her crying like this.
"...Neris."
Ren confirmed that the person entering was Neris and wore a melancholic expression, unable to say anything. His flushed face glistened with tears. She approached Ren carefully and sat beside him. Then she asked.
"Why are you crying? What's wrong?"
Ren nodded his head while looking at Neris. His expression was as if a puppy ignored by its owner.
"What's wrong?"
It was a moment when the long-standing conflict between him and the Pope was about to solidify. Neris asked seriously, thinking that maybe the Pope had done something.
However, the emotion reflected in Ren's eyes in the next moment was not at all hinting at that kind of problem. Instead, it was the same blind and pitiful despair she had seen in the prayer room a few days ago.
Neris felt a pang of recognition. She knew the life of someone with such a gaze.
She herself had lived through the same emotions to the core in her previous life. The life of someone who couldn't stop, knowing they would never receive unrequited love.
No matter how much they knew they would never be loved in return.
"Moreover, the attitude she saw in the prayer room a few days ago... She stared at Ren's eyes for a long time. Ren also looked back at her.
In the end, she clumsily asked more than she had originally planned.
"Do you love me?"
Ren's eyes trembled. He blinked several times, then rested his arm on the back of the chair in front of him. After sighing deeply for a while, he resolutely rested his cheek on his arm and looked up at Neris, asking,
"What would you like me to say?"
I see.
Neris found this topic truly awkward. The person who loves her, even a man who loves her... It was too unfamiliar. She had never even imagined such a thing, and now it was the second time.
It was hard to accept any of it.
When she didn't respond, Ren asked again. Tears flowed from his large eyes, staining his angelic face.
"What should I say to make you not turn away from me? How can I make sure you won't abandon me?"
His voice, calm and uninterrupted compared to his distraught face, felt desperately to Neris like the cry of a young animal who didn't know any better.
Despite the fear of rejection, knowing it was better not to speak, and despite holding back emotions for so long that they burst out, the words sounded like,
'How can I survive?'
"Why would I abandon my senior. My senior is not a puppy, nor does he belong to me."
"I know. I didn't belong to you. But I wanted to belong to you."
His trembling lips whispered softly.
"I had no one. I couldn't trust anyone. No one showed me how to handle things."
Like the truth of the world.
"You were the only one. I could only trust you. Almost dying several times, I only thought of you. You were the first to reach out to me, who everyone left to die."
As if believing only in that.
Neris felt a pang of recognition. He had sent her letters in English during their school days. She was too young at the time, so perhaps it wasn't meant in that way...
Ren seemed like a leaking water bucket on one side. Water kept flowing in, and at first glance, it seemed fine, but in reality, it wasn't functioning.
He constantly felt pressure from somewhere and struggled to contain it. This process was his life.
Neris easily thought that the driving force that kept him from falling was her. But it might not be.
"I wish worrying about you was natural to you. I wish I was something to you."
"Senior."
It wasn't something to say to the woman who still wore a ring on her left hand. Neris said as if she was tired.
Ren sniffled and lowered his eyes. Wrinkles formed on his pretty forehead.
"I'm not asking for your love. If you want to stay by my side, you'll probably end up as a clergyman, facing people's criticism."
Being a young and handsome clergyman does attract many people. They might hear comments about corrupting a clergyman and not being able to marry officially, but they have more money and influence than most noble ladies.
"However, that wasn't the position Neris wanted.
And it wasn't the position Ren wanted to offer her.
He whispered softly,
"You know, if you're happy and I'm not rejected by you, I'm fine with that."
"Senior."
She didn't know how to respond. She just felt frustrated... and sorry.
To him, who loved alone and sorted out his feelings alone.
Seeing that this thought came to mind first, she realized she was already bitter.
A strange smile appeared on Neris's face. It was an emotionless smile, like a shield, because she didn't know what expression to show, unable to reveal joy or sadness.
Before she could say anything, Ren sighed. And he smiled sadly.
"...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel complicated with what I said."
He gently kissed Neris on the forehead. It was a very pure, affectionate, and clean kiss, not the restless kind that Kledwin couldn't stop lately, but one that was irresistibly clean.
He lowered his head with a dejected face.
"I'm really sorry. I overreacted. It's not that I oppose what you're trying to do, I just got so jealous and stubborn for no reason. Please don't feel uncomfortable around me. I, I can just be someone you know. I can be the person you contact when you need help. Just think of me as a distant relative or something, that's enough for me."
"Don't talk about yourself like that."
"Neris."
Whatever she says, Ren said with a determined face,
"If you can be safe, that's good, but if you can't, at least you have to take everything."
On the first day when a huge stone was left on the road, the citizens of Ulverby pretended not to notice the ominous obstruction.
On the second day when a polished pillar was left on the road, the citizens of Ulverby gathered in anger, making noise until dispersing at the threat of the Holy Knights.
And on the third day when a broken cart was left on the road, no one attended the morning prayer meeting in Zone 1 where the Lily Palace was located.
"The money has been cut off astonishingly. Even the nobles who frequented the Lily Palace have stopped. The Pope proposed lending money and troops to Baron Baram to marry off his illegitimate child. It seems to be a last resort."
Upon hearing Talfryn's report, Neris lost her appetite. When she put down her fork, Kledwin pushed the beans on his plate with a clean fork and asked, "Why? It's good news."
Neris hesitated for a moment and then put the beans he pushed into her mouth. The food here was particularly to her liking, as the beans were boiled very softly. It would be a waste to refuse his offer to eat. Besides, Kledwin was not the kind of person to take back what he had given her.
"Rejecting a child born outside of a formal marriage is a sin. But it's funny how he suddenly shows grace by bringing out his illegitimate child as soon as he faces a crisis."
Kledwin seemed to understand why she was concerned, but he nodded seriously in agreement. As with everything she said these days.
"It's definitely amusing. If it's a daughter among the Pope's illegitimate children, is it Bridget?"
The latter question was directed towards Talfryn. Talfryn nodded in response.
"Yes, that's right. The younger one is still a baby. Her two older brothers were discussing the marriage contract while dining with Baron Baram."
The Pope's illegitimate children were currently known to be four in number. Two sons above, two daughters below. Bridget was the third from the top and was the youngest among the siblings until the Pope's new government gave birth to a baby a year ago. So, of course, Neris expected Talfryn's answer to be that way.
Bridget. The 'new sister' Valentin mentioned in her previous life. The lady who was deemed worthy to marry Nellucian.
Neris swallowed the beans quietly. Then she calmly said,
"Bridget's departure is delayed. Asking for not only money but also troops indicates that even Omnius himself knows that the internal atmosphere is chaotic. It raises suspicions that Baron Baram may have different intentions towards the Pope by preventing Bridget from leaving for reasons that are not logically acceptable."
"Genius."
Although it was a trivial remark, Kledwin said with a satisfied expression. Then he gestured to Talfryn.
"Bring it."
Talfryn silently stepped back. Neris put down her utensils and asked,
"What is it?"
"What I just received."
"So, what is it?"
The answer was soon evident as the heavy chest brought in by Talfryn was opened.
The small room where the two were dining was bathed in the colors of various lights reflecting off countless facets of the gems.
Whether it was mixed with silver, the dress, as white as snow, emitted a soft light like the moon itself. And from the front of the dress, from above the chest to below the waist, hundreds and thousands of small white gems were adorned in a long triangle shape.
As if a single area the size of a thumb rising from the rich skirt, covered with countless white gems, looked as if it had stepped on starlight.
It was undoubtedly a wedding dress to anyone's eyes. The most elegant and beautiful Neris had ever seen.
"I thought it would suit you. Because you are as dazzlingly beautiful as you."
Kledwin said such words casually once again.
The wedding dress Neris wore in her previous life was fitted somewhere by the Lady of Elendria. It was faithful only to the purpose of declaring the marriage between the noble family and the royal family, and the unnecessarily grand and heavy garment was not even pretty.
She had never imagined the day she would wear a wedding dress she liked.
"...It's beautiful."
She nodded hesitantly, unsure if it would suit her, as it was too beautiful even for herself.