I park in my usual spot when I get home and enter the house. Everyone is in the living room.
We really do have family dinners on Fridays; I wasn't lying about that. However, I was lying about getting here on time because, honestly, I never care about that stuff.
"8 PM? What a surprise. Too early for you to be home," Mom says after seeing me. Everyone turns to look at me.
They're watching a movie, which is their usual Friday routine. My brother comes home every Friday with his wife and child, my sister_Cara_ got engaged but still lives at home, so they're all here.
"O__o he's not looking so good. What a surprise. I've never seen you this down. You're always happy about something, high all the time, so spill it," Marcus, my brother, says.
"Hey, guys…" I ignore him, greet everyone, and head upstairs to my room.
"Hey, everything okay?" Mom asks.
"I'm fine," I say, still walking, but the way I'm feeling doesn't allow me to go any further.
As I've told you before, I never have stress, and this is the first time I'm experiencing something so disturbing.
I just want to let it out already, even if they're going to scold me. I don't care what they think of me. Dad's cousin is gay, and he's even married, and they accepted him. I suddenly remember him.
Dad, "What's family for if you can't let them help you whenever you're stuck? You can talk to whoever you feel comfortable with."
"I did something so stupid at work today," I blurt out.
"What did you do again?" Cara, asks knowingly.
"I kissed the wrong person, I freaking made out with the wrong person." I don't know how to say it.
"Oh my God, someone kill me, please," Marcus says, making it sound like a joke. "What else? Because I refuse to believe that Julian Wilson here is stressed because he made out with someone," he adds.
"Didn't you hear the part when I said 'wrong person'?" I ask, feeling so mad at him.
"Julian, the last thing I remember is you doing more than just making out with everyone, and you never gave a damn about it." Marcus adds.
Why don't he just shut up?
"You don't get it. Forget it," I say, walking to my room, but my mom stops me.
"Honey, wait! We're confused. Why don't you tell us more clearly? Who did you…" She drags the last word as if she doesn't want to say it.
"CEO," I say.
They're still looking at me, just as confused as before.
"What about the COE?" Cara asks.
"Ugh! Man, I made out with him, and I initiated it, don't you get it?!" I finally let out the last piece.
"What?!?" That's the reaction they give me. And those who haven't given me a 'What?!' are standing there, mouths open, covering them with their fingers in surprise.
"Tell me it's a joke Jul!" Cara recovers first from the shock and says.
Marcus, "You… unbelievable! What exactly is your problem with that thing of yours in your pants? You sleep with different girls every day, and now you think it's not enough, so you go to your boss? You've started with men, you have a serious problem, trust me…"
"Marcus! Don't talk to your younger brother like that. You don't know the whole story yet," Mom says, speaking up for me, as she always does.
"Mom, you keep praising him even for the wrong things he does, and you're going to regret it one day! He sleeps around, and you think that's funny? What happens when he comes back here with that incurable disease? Will you still be happy? Julian, tell me... have you suddenly become gay, or do girls not satisfy you anymore, and now you want to have both genders?!"
"I didn't have sex with him!" I argue, feeling really terrible.
"But that's what you're after, isn't it?" I've never even thought of that!
"No! I honestly think I'm in love with him!" I say it—the thing I've been dreading to admit.
Cara, "You what? Aren't you the one who kept complaining about him day and night here? How much you hate him. Speaking of loving him… you said you didn't think love existed at all, so what's changed?"
"Everything's changed," I say.
"He must really hate you right now. First, you played tricks on him and teased him around, and now you just did that!" Cara adds.
"I have no doubt he hates me now," I say, a lump choking me in my throat.
"Serves you right," Marcus says. He isn't making me feel any better. I shouldn't have told them.
"What was his reaction? Did he hit you? Or push you or anything? Did you tell him how you feel about him, or how did you come to the point of making out? Did he fire you?" Mom asks, looking like she's still trying to process everything she's just heard.
"He didn't do anything like that," I answer.
"Then doesn't that mean he wanted it as much as you wanted it? Because trust me, he would've broken your bones the moment you tried to kiss him," Cara suggests. Okay, it might be true that he wanted it, but how is he going to think of me?
"He's been acting weird with me lately, giving me compliments that have been giving me headaches. So today, he just wanted to talk, but I turned that into a perverted act. What's bothering me more is what he's going to think of me, especially with the fact that he knows my reputation."
"You're probably overthinking it. He didn't hit you, nor did he say anything that showed he was mad about it. And he's been giving those signs. He might not be thinking about it the way you are," Dad says, standing up and heading to his room.
Marcus, "Dad, just because that man was giving compliments doesn't mean he's into that. He might've just been joking around. Everyone plays around at some point. Don't make him feel good about what he just did."
"So, honey, what you're saying is that you're gay?" Mom asks.
"I think I'm bisexual. I don't know," I say.
"Of course, you're bisexual. You can't survive with just one gender," Marcus says, heading to his room.
Mom, "Marc, stop it!"
"Okay, Mom," he says, raising his hands in surrender.
I don't say anything more as I head upstairs too.
As I'm climbing the stairs, my phone vibrates. When I look at it, it's H.H.__CEO
"Oh shit!" I loose balance , slip and fall.
"Julian, are you hurt?" Mom asks, rushing to where I am.
" No mom , just my knee but not that bad it's okay , my phone .. I think it's dead." I say sitting on the stairs looking at the phone that looks like it's been chewed by a hungry lion.
Mom comes with the first aid box .