In a distant field, secluded and untouched by human civilization, Andrei finds himself walking slowly down a path with no clear destination.
The sky is dim, lit only by the moon and stars. A thin fog blurs much of the landscape, while a cold breeze dances around him, sending chills crawling up Andrei's arms.
Overgrown grasses graze his feet with each step, bringing him closer to something—a silhouette of an unidentifiable being.
It's calling.
With his terrible eyesight, Andrei struggles to distinguish the figure, but he knows it's a person. A young man, probably around his age.
As Andrei comes nearer, the voice of the man becomes clearer, though the image remains far from vivid. The closer Andrei gets, the farther the other young man seems to move away.
Finally, Andrei stops and just listens to the voice.
"Who are you?" Andrei asks.
"I'm still here. I am lost," the man replies. "'Wag mo rin akong iwan."
Confusion clouds Andrei's mind as he furrows his eyebrows. That is definitely not his name, and "here" isn't much of a clue.
"Where? Do you need me to look for you?" Andrei asks again. There's worry in his voice. "Tell me."
Suddenly, the image dashes away, prompting Andrei to bolt after it in an impossible chase.
He runs and runs until he is gasping for air. He falls to the ground, overwhelmed by fear and sadness, his eyes filling with tears. As his eyes close slowly, he suddenly wakes up.
He was dreaming. Again. The same dream. Again.
Andrei reaches for his glasses on the bedside table and then searches for his phone. He grabs it and holds it in front of his face.
The light from the screen nearly blinds his newly awakened eyes as it flashes over his face.
2:47 AM.
He types out a hesitant message to his friend, Wes, breaking the silence of the early morning. "Hey, Wes?" he types, adding, "I know I shouldn't be texting at this hour, but... are you still awake?" He taps his fingers against the phone as he waits, feeling the loneliness settle around him.
Minutes pass before his phone buzzes. "Oh, yeah," Wes replies at 3:01 AM. "Sorry it took me a while to reply, just finished a draft. Is something up again?"
Andrei sighs, typing, "Yes... I just had the same dream of that same person. I don't really know what I should do."
Wes responds, "Well, I guess it's a good thing I always stay up late. Your nightmares are getting frequent."
Andrei feels a swell of gratitude as he replies, "Thank you, Wes. It helps knowing I have someone to talk to."
"You know," Wes types back, "I already told you that you should just stay over at my apartment for a few days. It'd be easier for me to look after you."
Andrei tries to lighten the mood. "Scolding me at this hour? Besides, that would be too much of a bother to you, and you know I don't like that feeling."
Wes, undeterred, continues, "But you know, Andrei, ever since Tita's passing, you've been locking yourself away from us. She asked me to look after you, and I won't let you keep isolating yourself."
Andrei hesitates before responding, "I'm a grown man, Wes. I can take care of myself. And... I don't know if I'm ready to talk about Mama just yet."
There's a pause before Wes replies, "Alright, fine. But I just had a brilliant idea. Instead of you staying over at my place, I'll be the one crashing at yours. Can't say no!"
Andrei chuckles softly, a bit of warmth breaking through his isolation. "WHAT?? Hmm… okay, can't say no."
"That's great!" Wes replies enthusiastically. "I'm bringing lots of food. See you later, Andrei."
Andrei feels a glimmer of comfort as he types his final response for the night. "Yeah, see you."
A breath of slight relief fills Andrei's lungs after his conversation with his best friend, Wesley. Wesley is probably the only person he can lean on right now.
3:30 AM. A very unusual time to start the day, but not for Andrei these past few days. He barely gets any sleep, his eyes still heavy.
He gets up from bed and turns on the light in his room. It is tidy, with not much to see: his bed, a closet, and a personal chair and table with a bulletin board covered in printed images he has taken.
Andrei has been living alone for over a month now since his single mother passed away. She was all he had when they lived in Canada. With her gone, it feels lonely. There's not a day that goes by without him missing her.
He sits in his chair and stares at an envelope, one of the reasons he can't sleep well. His eyes are drawn to the name written on it.
Alessandro Wen
Manila, NCR, Philippines
It is from his father, handed to him by his mother before she said her final goodbye. She had said it contained a glimpse of their past that Andrei deserved to know.
The envelope is old, dating back about two decades. The seal is still intact because he hasn't opened it yet. He's unsure if he even wants to, but his heart tells him that maybe this is the time.
It's the only thing his mother left him, likely the lone letter that ever reached them.
He was three years old when they moved. Despite venturing abroad alone with his mother, they didn't have it too tough because she was a capable woman. Living without a father was never really a problem for him.
After all the internal battles in his mind, Andrei finally decides to open it. He glides his fingers around its edges and gently tears it open.Inside is a folded letter covering a photograph—a picture of a very young boy.
Andrei takes a good look at it. "Who could this be?" he thinks to himself.
Andrei's breathing grows heavier as he shifts his gaze toward the letter. It's not lengthy, just enough to convey a message from a longing heart to the person it loves.
It is written in Filipino. Andrei thinks he can probably read it.
After all, even though Andrei grew up in Canada, his mother taught him about the Philippines—its language, culture, and people. Plus, the Filipino community in their area is quite large as well.
Mahal kong Dahlia,
Kumusta ka na? Sana ay nasa mabuti kayong kalagayan ni Andrei. Matagal ko nang nais magsulat, ngunit tila nawawala ang aking mga salita sa tuwing mag-uumpisa akong sumulat. Ngayon, tila hindi ko na kayang maghintay pa.
Nais kong humingi ng taos-pusong paumanhin sa lahat ng sakit na naidulot ko. Alam kong nasaktan kita nang malaman mo ang tungkol sa anak ko...
Andrei stops reading. It's not the heavy emotions from the letter that make him pause; it's the fact that he can barely understand it. The Filipino used is too deep for his surface-level comprehension.
He puts it aside, thinking he can probably Google translate it later. Andrei then shifts his attention to the photograph he's been holding in his right hand.
It's an image of a child looking to his side, smiling dearly and innocently. Andrei knows it's not him, but he can see some resemblance.
Andrei flips the photo over and reveals a short message, this time in English.
Hello, Andrei! Your Papa misses you so much. In this picture is your older brother, Atlantis. Maybe someday you can meet him too and you two will be the best brothers.
I Love You So Much Anak. I Love You and Mama Dahlia.
It takes Andrei a moment to realize that a tear has formed in his left eye, which he quickly wipes away. He swallows a lump in his throat, indicating that something about his father's message has touched him deeply.
Discovering that he has a brother left in the Philippines gives him hope that he can finally connect the dots that have been spiraling in his mind.
Andrei leans back in his chair, pondering his dreams. Could it be his half-brother he is supposed to search for? For what reason?
7:26 PM
The night has fallen.
Andrei is busy working when he hears his front door open and footsteps entering his place. No knock, no call. Typical best friends who know each other's passcodes.
"Wesley, you here?" Andrei calls out as he heads toward the living room.
"Who else?" comes the mocking reply.
It's Wesley, of course. Seeing him, Andrei can't help but notice that his best friend always keeps his promise of bringing lots of food—most of it for himself, though.
"Oh my gosh, Andrei! You look like you've been awake for weeks!" Wesley exclaims, surprised at Andrei's worrisome appearance.
Wesley approaches Andrei with a hug and checks his face. Dark circles surround his eyes, and he's noticeably thinner since they last saw each other—on the night of Andrei's mom's funeral.
"Uh, because I haven't been able to sleep well for weeks? Come on, Wes," Andrei replies tiredly, breaking off his friend's embrace to look him in the eye. "But I'm glad you're here. I missed you."
"Of course you did. And I missed you too," Wesley says with a smile.
"Anyway, have you eaten dinner? I could heat up some food if you'd like," Andrei offers, heading to the fridge to check on what he has left.
"Egh, what do you mean 'heat up'? Is that all you've been eating for days?" Wesley asks incredulously.
"Have you forgotten that I'm the older one here, Wesley Boo?" Andrei narrows his eyes with a teasing smile.
"Hehe! Sorry, Kuya Andrei. LOL, what's with that accent? Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, what are all these foods I brought for?" Wesley explains.
"Oh, right. It looks like you're planning to stay here for a month," Andrei teases.
"That could be the case if you keep being hard-headed!" Wesley retorts. "I brought home-cooked food from my dad for our dinner. Just sit your pretty little ass at the dining table and let me handle the preparations." Wesley proceeds to prepare their dinner.
After dinner and a few chitchat about catching up, both Andrei and Wesley huddle up in the twin-sized bed. They've been doing overnights frequently since their childhood. They met at a very young age and have treated each other as brothers.
Andrei's mother was assisted by Wesley's parents. Though they weren't in the same grade, they went to the same school. Wesley knows Andrei better than anyone, despite Andrei being one of the most introverted people around.
Thinking about this, Andrei wonders what it would be like to have a real brother—someone who shares his blood. This thought leads him to bring up what he discovered earlier that day.
Staring at the dimly lit ceiling, Andrei interrupts Wesley's random chatter.
"I've got a brother," he says, changing the atmosphere.
"Aww, Kuya Andrei is so sweet. You're a brother to me, too," Wesley responds.
"Not that, Wes," a quiet pause. "The thing that has probably kept me awake for these past few nights. I think it's because of that," Andrei says.
"Of what?" Wesley asks, curiosity and concern in his voice.
"I found out earlier that I have a brother back in the Philippines. A half-brother, I think—one of my father's," Andrei explains, breaking the silence. "I read it in an old letter from my father that my mom left for me before she passed away. I saw my brother's picture and the letter with it."
Andrei feels Wesley's hand gently caressing his arm, offering comfort and assurance that he's listening.
"Now, I'm thinking about what I should do with this information. And it's pretty weird to think that it is somehow connected to my recurring dreams," Andrei says, furrowing his eyebrows in deep thought. "What should I do, Wes?"
Wesley lets out a deep sigh and then smiles warmly at his best friend. "Well, I think the first thing you must do is listen to your heart. Does it want to meet him? Does it feel excitement? Longing? Or even sadness that you thought wasn't there until you knew you had someone waiting for you?"
Andrei falls silent, trying to decipher his feelings. "Maybe," he thinks to himself.
"But you know what, Andrei? What's there to lose if you try? You haven't been back to the Philippines since you and tita migrated. I think it's just the right time to practice your Tagalog," Wesley says.
"But I don't know anyone there, Wes. I have no idea where to start," Andrei replies. "And I think I'm afraid... even though I want to."
"Then that's your answer! You want to. I wish I could help you more and accompany you, but I can't leave my job. But I can help you in other ways. I'll plan your itinerary, book your flight, your hotel, and everything. Don't worry!" Wesley assures him.
"Wait, what? Are you serious? And what about MY job?!" Andrei sits up, trying to believe what Wesley just said.
Wesley sits up too and holds Andrei's hands. "Of course! If that's what will bring peace to your heart. And you can just take your job there."
"Wow, Wesley, you're kind of unbelievable right now. Just a while ago, you were worried about me living alone, and now you want to send me to another fricking country where I have no idea what to do," Andrei says.
"I think that's the longest thing you've said today. Just relax! We'll plan everything down to the last detail, so there's not much to worry about."
Andrei's panic subsides.
"But remember, if you don't find your family there, you always have a family here. You can be afraid but still do it anyway."
They both smile at each other, and Andrei wraps Wesley in a tight embrace. He's grateful to have this person in his life. "Thank you," he says.
"Of course, it's you," Wesley replies as they break off from the hug. "Now, be ready to fly to Manila next week."
"Next week???"