*Ana*
"Ah," I wince slightly as she goes again, rough with the sponge. Red streaks run down my skin with every scrub, rendering me sore after. It's almost enough to make me want to call to stop, but keeping my peace, if not for the fact, that I know she's just being thorough.
Thorough, yes, but she's not like Maddie. I can't help but compare. But Naska is not Maddie, and it doesn't help to dwell. Naska is doing her job. Who was I to expect more?
No, it's easier just to let it be. I can put up with this much.
"You're quiet today, Your Empress" Naska speaks, quite a surprise, considering she rarely ever starts. "Penny for your thoughts?"
"I was just," but I cut off with a sharp cry, "Ow," I look down, seeing Naska miss the sponge and accidentally rake her nails over my arm.
"Apologies, your Empress." Naska quickly excuses, but by now, it is already over. The scrubbing was done, and she was up and moving for a clean wrap. I, in the meantime, look over at the red marks, before sighing. But again, it was too late to do anything about it. I have nothing more to do but just let go of it, and make to stand.
"Oh," A sharp pain in my lower stomach, makes me bend. "Ah," It goes again, and I wrap my arms around me. The pain is brief, but it is not something I know. It feels like something jabbed right inside.
"Your Empress?" Naska stops, holding out the wrap, to notice. "Something wrong?" She looks on as I swallow down the pain, and lift my arms for her to start.
"It's nothing," I play it off, feeling her start to rub dry my shoulders, again moving roughly, like she wants to go too fast. "I just- my stomach hurt just now."
"Your stomach?" Naska looks over, before smirking. "Perhaps it's time?"
"No," I shake my head, "I don't think so." Though I am at the age where most vampires do, I don't have the symptoms. I don't have the cravings, yet.
"It's probably nothing," I go, watching Naska move to rub down my legs.
"Well," Naska continues to dry, "It won't be long till you do, your Empress." She goes more softly. "I was about your age when I had my First Blood."
"Most do," I agree, yet, until I have the cravings, I won't consider it. I already have enough on my plate. "But I'm sure it's nothing. Just some bad food, perhaps."
"Hmm," Naska, meanwhile, moves to return with another cloth. This one wraps around my hair. As Naska squeezes out the water, I find myself reflective again, perhaps because, this particular scene reminds me so much of her.
"Was that all that's on your mind?" Naska, again, prompts, pulling me back to find her watching. "Just my scrubbing?"
"What?" I blink, but quickly follow up with a shake of my head. "Oh, no, it's…" but to tell her I was just thinking of Maddie, makes me think better than say it. "No, it's nothing."
"Hmm," Naska, however, only smirks. "Then…" She moves to squeeze more water, "Are you thinking of…what's his name? Your half-brother?" Naska waves her hand in the air. " Prince-whoever?"
"Nicoli." I correct her, not surprised she doesn't know. But, now that she mentioned it, I can't help but sigh, finding another sore spot in my chest.
"No, he…" I go softer. "it's coming up another week without another letter."I pause there, feeling that same urge but willing it down. "I don't…expect there will be any more letters, moving forward."
"Oh, really?" Naska slightly lifts her voice, almost sounding intrigued by the news, "Sorry to hear that, your Empress," Naska goes on, coming up with the afternoon dress.
"Shall we retire to your room?" Naska offers when she finishes putting on the last buttons of my gown.
"No, I'll stay in the study this time," I go, already looking to the bookshelves, planning to use this precious time wisely.
I look at the bookshelves, eyeing each. Most of the books I've collected are of history. Some of Nochten, of course, but there are others, other countries and cultures as well. Each is a valuable source of insight and counsel.
But which will help me now? I have to wonder, looking over the volumes.
"Are you looking for a book, your Empress?" Naska, meanwhile, notices my stare. "I could find it for you." She offers, almost a bit too quickly. "A romance? Or a thriller? Perhaps poetry?"
"No, no," I wave my hand, not at all interested. "You're dismissed, Naska." I turn from her, running my eyes over the books again, reading the titles, trying to choose where to start.
It only dawns on me after a minute of looking, that Naska is still there.
"Naska?" I look over to see her bow.
"Very well, your Empress." Naska sighs, before turning to leave, almost annoyed in a way, taking it out on the door, and closing it sharply.
What was that for? I look after her, confused by the sudden mood swings. But, again, have to let it go. Assuming maybe she was in a hurry. Perhaps to check on Bruno?
Or to go back to whoever did that to her neck? I reflect, remembering. Perhaps that had something to do with her mood too. Either way, I push the question aside, focusing back on more important priorities.
"Somewhere, one of you will shed light on the situation." I make for the bookshelves, taking my finger to run each spine, looking. "One of you will give me some answers." And more importantly, something that doesn't need bloodshed.
"So, which one should I start with?" I go and start pulling books. A process, I find, quickly becomes quite heavy, almost toppling me over, but, luckily, I reach the table in time, and set them all down, with a slight film of sweat on my brow.
"Who will be helpful?" I consider looking over the pile, just as it happens. A cool breeze comes through the window, taking up the curtains. They fly up and cast shadows in the room, one, of which falls over his portrait.
It could have been a trick of the shadow, but today, it makes him look less angry. More withdrawn really. And I can't help to stare after him, noting the change, and then remembering what lay just behind him.
Has that time finally come? I consider, walking from the table, towards it.
"Excuse me, grandfather." I curtsy, keeping habit, before moving, pulling on the frame, slowly allowing the ray of sunlight to break into the normally dark space.
In its light, I admire the stacks. My bundles are each carefully organized, and tied together. All waiting, unopened, for a day such as this. But with so many, where would be a good place to start?
"How long will it take to read them?" I go, spying on one particular envelope. It was the recent one, the one with bears all drawn on it. Gingerly, I pull it out from the tied stack, turning it over to admire the bears again, taking in how much skill Nicoli has improved in his drawing. They looked so lively in their little paper universe.
"His last letter." I touch the paper gently. "The very last he will-" A slight tremor runs through my hand, making me clench and puncture the paper with a loud pop.
"Stop," I have to force in and out of breath, willing myself to stop crying. "I'm not going to do this," not now. I've had enough time to grieve, enough time to accept it
"I'll…" I open my eyes to find the sight of blue wax suddenly too bright. "I'll…" and now the envelope is just too heavy. It's just too hard to even hold up.
"I'll open it but…I should just focus on work right now." I excuse, at last, finding myself needing to use my time wisely. The letters can wait.
And it doesn't have to be today, I go, returning it to the stack, and closing the door. It barely clicks closed before my stomach starts up again.
"Ah," Another pain stabs sharply, the same as before, and makes me bend over a moment, wincing. It takes rubbing the spot to make it stop, but I can't let it deter me. I must use this time wisely.
"Now," I take my seat at the table. "I need to find something." Anything, and I decided to just pick at random from the pile. I end up picking a thick and old-looking book. Something that will likely take some hours to properly go all the way through.
Good. Perhaps it will help me take my mind off this strange pain. I move to rub my sore stomach again.
I hope it will. And distract me from anything else,
"Ah," I softly wince again, but force myself to carry on, not seeing any other options. All I have is work, and finding no more excuses, open the cover and start.