Lin had been conned before; he had to admit.
It was not like it was in his nature to be mean and evil. His undead helped old grannies carry their groceries, babysat babies without sitting on them, mowed lawns, cleared walkways during the winter…
He shook his head.
He was a good person, Lin had to admit. But that had to stop! He needed all those people to drop dead, so the fairies could come back to the world!
Lin was tired of being alone!
Well… he was not alone now.
As he looked around the cozy kitchen he was in, he just did not know what to think. It was not like the gnome did not know what Lin's intention for the future was.
And yet, here they were. With the gnome in the process of making them dinner, and Lin sitting on the only chair besides Kai's, right on the man's left.
"So… tell me more about yourself," a part of Lin wondered if the gnome's story could have some truth in it. The fairy was a firm believer in the universe.
If he could not believe that he had been reborn, then how was he supposed to keep the fire of hope burning for his brethren?
"Do you want me to tell you something funny?" Kai asked, as he flipped the steak on the grill. Ah, soon their dinner would be done, and he could impress Lin with his superb cooking!
Lin hummed. That was all the encouragement Kai needed.
"Two weeks ago, there was another hamster apocalypse," Kai began, remembering how the hamsters had gone from garden to garden, chewing everything made of plant fiber. "An entire party of them ambushed me, and I…"
"A group of hamsters is not called a party, but a horde," Lin corrected without thinking too much on it.
Kai snorted.
"Yes, might be. They did behave like savage barbarians. Chewed up Battlepaws' saddle and my favorite pair of pants!"
Even thinking about it made Kai ball his fists. Those had been good pants, made with magic, and he had been wearing them for the better part of the past two years.
"But do you know what the worst part is?" Kai took a deep breath to calm himself. Oh, how he hated getting angry before his dates… "The guarantee for the pants was just two years, and the hamsters attacked on the day after it ran out!"
Lin rolled his eyes. Oh, the man's pants were chewed by hamsters, big deal.
"Just buy another pair," Lin whispered, as he looked around the house. It did not look like a hovel. Surely, the man could spare the money for something as vital as pants, could he not?
"The mage who makes those retired," Kai sighed then. Oh, how he lamented that fact…
"And you can't sew?" Lin was beginning to question how the man had survived for so long. Then again, most adventurers were like that, Lin had to admit.
"I can, but the mage who makes the fabric also retired," Kai whispered, bowing his head. "And before you ask, the dungeon which produced the raw fabric is…"
"Retired?" Lin asked with a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. If the gnome asked nicely, then Lin was going to make him a pair of pants. It was the least he could do after the man had hosted him in his house, and even started to cook for him.
"No," Lin blinked at that. Hm, he had been wrong. "But its dungeon master is on a vacation, and he is not taking any orders until May."
Lin could not help himself. He giggled, covering his mouth with his hand.
"You have no luck," the fairy said between giggles.
"Oh, but I do! I met you again!"
The gnome was persistent, Lin had to give him that. Still, as amusing as this ruse was, Lin did not want to play along anymore.
The lie was getting on his nerves. Oh, it would have been like a fairy tale if he had indeed been the lover of the gnome, but he knew that it was just a lie.
Still, if he ended the game too soon, he'd miss the meal which was cooking right now. Lin's stomach gave out a growl, reminding him what was at stake.
No one wanted to sell food to a necromancer, Lin knew. He had not eaten in the past two days.
Well… if one did not count the mushrooms he had eaten yesterday when he had not been able to stand the hunger anymore.
At least he had seen his family again, and also made a prophecy which he did not remember anymore but was now in the Hall of Prophecy.
He had even gotten a nice check for his public service when he woke. Lin blinked. Yes, the check! He could pay the gnome, and the gnome could shop for him!
Wasn't that what married people did? Sharing the housework evenly?
"Kai?" Lin was uncertain. It could all be a cruel trick. For all he knew, the gnome might actually love the world as it was now. "Do you mind buying me some chocolate?"
Kai blinked, then just opened a cupboard, and held three bars of chocolate in his hands.
"Do you want biscuit white, raisins dark, or plain milk?"
The gnome might as well have said a magical incantation, for Lin stood from his chair and soon, the chocolate changed hands.
Kai smirked.
Yes, the fairy would soon be his. The chocolate had been an impulsive purchase, and Kai had not eaten any of it because he had to mind his blood sugar.
As he went back to grilling the steaks, he began to hum. The sound of a chocolate being torn from its wrapping echoed in the small wooden cottage. Kai finally took the meat off the grill.
When he turned around, the fairy was smiling from ear to ear, the chocolate was eaten, harmony reigned.
The flying pink, brown spotted, pig flew by the roof of the cottage, oinking happily.
All was well… for now.