"Master… Xiao Chan… Xiao Chan wants to sleep here tonight… is that okay?"
Xiao Chan's voice was as soft as a mosquito's buzz, but the quiet atmosphere made it clear to Ning Yi. He paused, thinking for a moment, while Xiao Chan nervously twisted the hem of her clothing, her face flushed red.
"Um… um… my brother and sister-in-law… they didn't prepare a room for me. They… they…" She bit her lip and stole a glance at Ning Yi. Suddenly, she took a deep breath, summoning courage. "And… and Miss said… Xiao Chan should serve Master…"
"Hm?"
Her words started fast but trailed off into a whisper. Her small face turned crimson, and her body wavered as though she might faint if she held her breath any longer. Ning Yi chuckled softly, reaching out to take her left hand. Her fingers felt stiff yet limp, as if drained of strength. Under the soft glow of the oil lamp, the young girl sat timidly on the edge of the bed, her demeanor uncertain. Ning Yi held her hand, letting her calm down a little before speaking.
"Xiao Chan… do you want this too?"
"Yes." Xiao Chan nodded quickly, then glanced at Ning Yi and nodded a few more times. "Master… Master is a good man, kind to Xiao Chan and kind to Miss. So… so… and Xiao Chan is supposed to become a concubine anyway…"
Hearing her reply, Ning Yi chuckled after a brief pause. "This is a lifelong decision."
His tone was calm, almost indifferent, leaving the words hanging. Xiao Chan sat silently for a while before finally lifting her head. "But… but it is a lifelong decision…" she said, her tone firm and matter-of-fact. Ning Yi nodded, then smiled. "Alright… I'll close the window first."
The open window faced the small courtyard, and faint noises drifted in from outside. Ning Yi moved to close it and glanced out briefly while Xiao Chan, seated on the bed, hesitated. She undid the first button of her top, then stopped, her hands dropping nervously. Pretending nothing had happened, she stole another glance at Ning Yi. Then, summoning her courage again, she undid a second button. By the time Ning Yi turned back, she had reached the fourth.
The simple sleepwear she wore was soft and modest, with only a few buttons. As she unfastened the fifth one in his gaze, her clothing parted, revealing a white undergarment embroidered with a lotus blossom. Lowering her head, she clutched her outer robe and softly murmured, "Master…" Her voice was pitiful, and Ning Yi picked up the oil lamp.
"You sleep… on the inside, alright?"
"Mm." Xiao Chan nodded, lowering herself to remove her shoes and socks. As she prepared to climb into bed, she hesitated, shyly slipping off her outer robe. For a moment, the room was silent. Dressed in her undergarments and light silk trousers, she neatly folded her robe and placed it on a stool at the foot of the bed. Keeping her head low, she crawled onto the bed and lay down on the inner side. Her bare back was turned to Ning Yi, but her unfamiliarity with the situation left her feeling self-conscious. Summoning her courage, she adjusted herself, her delicate shoulders visibly tense. Her hands moved awkwardly—from her sides to her stomach, then to her lap—before she finally turned her head to glance at Ning Yi.
Ning Yi, having removed his robe, climbed into bed as well. When his gaze met hers, Xiao Chan's expression froze, and she quickly averted her eyes. Her heart pounded furiously as she waited for him to make a move. Instead, Ning Yi leaned closer… and removed a hairpin.
Xiao Chan's damp hair, still pinned up from washing earlier, had been carelessly left in place. Embarrassed and preoccupied, she had forgotten to take it out. Ning Yi loosened her hair and placed the wooden pin on the bedside stool, then extinguished the oil lamp and lay down beside her.
The faint glow in the room illuminated the moment as Ning Yi seemed restless. He shifted to the left, then to the right, occasionally turning onto his side. After a while, he couldn't help but laugh. Xiao Chan, deeply flustered, murmured, "Master… doesn't Master want Xiao Chan?"
Lying there, staring at the mosquito net above, Ning Yi replied, "I just realized… you might get pregnant."
"I… I won't… Xiao Chan will make sure not to have a baby before Miss does. I'll take medicine… the kind that prevents it…"
At this, Xiao Chan suddenly became defensive, propping herself up and shaking her head firmly. Ning Yi sighed. "That's exactly what I'm worried about… that medicine harms the body. You're only fifteen."
"Almost sixteen…"
"Mm. But taking too much of that medicine can cause serious problems later. You're not allowed to take it." With that, Ning Yi pulled her back down, wrapping his arms around her small frame. He chuckled softly and muttered to himself, "A lifelong decision… tonight is going to be tough…"
Xiao Chan was probably being held like this by a man for the first time. For her, wearing nothing but her dudou (a traditional Chinese undergarment) made the situation feel even more intimate. Her body was stiff, her mind a blur. However, as she kept thinking to herself, "I belong to Master, I belong to Master…" she gradually began to relax. Resting against his chest, she murmured in confusion, "But… but… Master…"
"Ah… let's just chat for now."
"Huh?"
"Xiao Chan… how are things between you and your parents, your brother, and your sister-in-law?"
"...Honestly, I'm not sure."
"Oh? What do you mean?"
"I only go back once every year or two. Since joining the Su family, I've only stayed home for a total of ten days or so. But they are still my family, after all…"
"Of course… do you think it was wrong of them to sell you?"
"No, not at all. If they hadn't sold me, who knows what my life would be like now… They couldn't make ends meet. And now, the Su family is my family too. Miss Su is, Sister Juan'er and Sister Xing'er are, and of course, so are you, Master…"
"Hehe…"
"Well, my father loves drinking and doesn't really work. Ever since I started sending money home, he's even stopped farming and just spends his days drinking and bragging. My mother is quite diligent, but she's very frugal. If I bring back some pastries, she'll take a bite, then wrap the rest up, saying she'll eat them later. Sometimes, she saves them until they get moldy. My sister-in-law is rather vain, but she treats my brother well. My brother is always dreaming of doing something big in the city. He says he's skilled enough to marry the prettiest girl in the neighboring village, which he thinks makes him quite capable…"
"Well, he's not as pretty as Xiao Chan."
"Hehe…"
"It's human nature. Your brother could be a clever assistant, your sister-in-law could manage accounts, and your mother could run the household. At the funeral today, she even helped with some tasks, and others seemed to listen to her. That shows people recognize her work. If your father were still around, he could probably sit in the shop and act as a manager. Heh…"
"Master just says nice things. If there really were such a shop, it wouldn't last long… But sometimes Miss Su says similar things. She always says that everyone has their own value. I think my mother is amazing."
"With Xiao Chan around, no shop would fail. You can tell what kind of people your family members are after just ten days. That's amazing, Xiao Chan."
"But Master is even more amazing. You can tell after meeting them just once…"
"I'm just following the flow of conversation. Scholars are good at spinning stories, that's all."
"So does that mean my brother can't be an assistant, and my sister-in-law can't manage accounts anymore?"
"Hehe…"
"Oh, right, Master! Even though I was sold at four years old and don't remember much, there's one thing I find really interesting…"
"…"
They chatted on and on. The distant Nanting Village lay silent under the starry sky, with only the lights from the ancestral hall still burning. The stars twinkled above, watching over the land as it drifted into slumber.
Ning Yi had a erotic dream.
Of course, this was entirely natural.
That night was a test for both him and Xiao Chan. However, in this era, a fifteen-year-old girl becoming pregnant, giving birth, or even dealing with abortion could severely harm her health. That was what made him sigh and laugh bitterly.
Xiao Chan couldn't have a child before Su Tan'er; that was the rule in households like theirs. When he mentioned it, Xiao Chan immediately became anxious and vowed that she would never have a baby before Miss Su. Ning Yi himself didn't care about such rules, but others did, and Xiao Chan herself cared. That made it complicated.
He wasn't without desire, but self-discipline and rationality had become deeply ingrained in his character. After all he had experienced, venting his frustrations with a random woman didn't feel much different to him than handling things himself. As for his relationship with Xiao Chan, there was no need to overthink it. Once he made a decision, he would take responsibility. But tonight, before Su Tan'er, this had become a dilemma.
They continued chatting late into the night before finally falling asleep.
Xiao Chan woke up early. When she opened her eyes, the sky was still dark.
They were covered by a thin blanket.
She was nestled in Ning Yi's arms, her bare back pressed against his chest. His hands wrapped around her from behind, and she held onto his arms. Her heart felt warm.
That night was special to her. There was warmth, a sense of belonging, as well as shyness and anticipation. Unfortunately, Master was too concerned about her health to take things further…
After waking up, she initially just savored the warmth. Her cheeks flushed as memories of other things drifted into her mind.
When the Su family held their wedding, Su Tan'er, having gained some status in the household, could ignore it, vent her frustrations, or even leave on the day. But Xiao Chan couldn't. Alongside Juan'er and Xing'er, she was learning and observing—about things that were awkward, vague, and deeply embarrassing. As a maidservant, it was something she had to understand. Later, she stayed behind. With the live-in son-in-law's low status and Miss Su seemingly uninterested, these matters were buried deep in their hearts. For a young maidservant, even thinking about such things was enough to make her blush.
Those thoughts had remained buried in her heart, but after serving Master, they would occasionally resurface. When Miss Su made that remark in May, permitting her to attend to Master in bed, Xiao Chan's face was ceremoniously "opened," marking her formal acceptance as part of the household. After that, these ideas occupied her mind more frequently. Now, in this moment, they surged uncontrollably to the forefront once again.
Her face and body alternated between burning hot and bashfully cold. Feeling the warmth behind her, she thought of Master's words about how difficult this night had been for him… And then there was that matter about her needing to "try" with Master before Miss Su—what Auntie had said back then… Master must be struggling too… But just thinking such things felt shameless and improper… She tried to banish the thoughts.
In the darkness, she pursed her lips, curling up and slipping out of Ning Yi's embrace. Draped in the blanket, she leaned over him, her heart in turmoil, biting her lip. At moments, she looked like she might burst into tears.
Anyway, I'm already his…
The night stretched on, deep and quiet. At some point, the little maid inhaled softly, pulling herself gently back under the thin blanket. The starlight faintly outlined her silhouette. A soft rustling began, paused for a moment, and then resumed—slowly, carefully, delicately moving again.
Before dawn, the stars blinked anew, as if casting their gaze upon this tiny, tender drama.