Inside the Hokage's office, a storm brewed outside, mirroring the tension within. Elders Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane sat on one side of the table, along with the ever-present Danzo. Shikaku Nara watched the group, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else. Jiraiya had been summoned back from his intel-gathering missions and sat next to Gojo, who was reclined in his chair, lollipop in hand, looking more like he was at a spa than a war council.
"Didn't think Orochimaru would take it this far," Jiraiya muttered, lost in thought. "Attacking the village… taking down the Third Hokage…"
"C'mon, Jiraiya," Gojo grinned, twirling his lollipop. "You 'didn't think' he'd attack? Who are you trying to fool? You've been following his every move."
Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "You're as subtle as a kunai to the face, Gojo."
"Enough with the chatter!" Danzo interrupted, his voice as sharp as the cane he clutched. "We need order! A village without a Hokage is like an army without a commander. For the sake of Konoha, I will step up as Fifth Hokage."
Danzo looked around, expecting a round of applause or at least a nod of agreement. Instead, he got silence. Shikaku cleared his throat, holding up a box full of letters. "Actually, on behalf of the Jonin, I'd like to nominate Gojo for the position."
Danzo's face twitched. "A child's folly! What Konoha needs is stability, not a jester with a lollipop addiction!"
Gojo shrugged, unbothered by the insult. "Stability? If you're calling for yourself as Hokage, that's a whole new level of comedy."
The elders exchanged nervous glances. Koharu nodded to Danzo. "His experience is unmatched," she said, "and frankly, Gojo's unpredictable. Danzo would be—"
"Boring?" Gojo interjected, smirking.
Shikaku ignored the squabble, pulling out the first letter from the box. "This letter is from Sarutobi Asuma. It reads: 'Gojo is strong, decisive, and capable. He has my full support as the next Hokage.'" He read it in a formal tone, though the corners of his mouth twitched slightly.
Danzo clenched his cane tighter as Shikaku continued. "This next letter is from Kurenai. She says, 'Gojo's got the skill to keep Konoha safe, and the confidence to make sure everyone knows it.'"
Shikaku picked up the next letter. "From Kakashi Hatake: 'Gojo's cocky, but honestly, I can't think of anyone better. Plus, maybe he'll finally give us some time off.'"
Gojo grinned. "See, everyone loves me."
"Enough!" Danzo interrupted, his voice barely hiding his fury. "This village needs strength, discipline, someone who won't treat Hokage duties like an excuse for a holiday! Do you understand what it takes to protect Konoha?"
"Oh, absolutely." Gojo leaned forward, dropping his lollipop back into his mouth. "It takes keeping my eyes open for threats—not half-closing them and hoping no one notices." He glanced at Danzo's bandaged right eye, raising an eyebrow. "Besides, if you're so intent on being Hokage, maybe you should consider running your own show somewhere else. You can be Hokage of… I don't know, Dog-Kage Village or something."
The room went silent. Danzo's eyes flared, his fingers tightening around his cane. "Dog… Dog-Kage?" he repeated, his voice quivering with anger.
"Oh yeah," Gojo grinned, clearly enjoying himself. "I mean, you're already halfway there, right? Just throw in a dog collar and a bone, and boom—you're all set! Dog-Kage Danzo, here to protect and fetch for Konoha!"
Homura's lips pressed together as he tried to stifle a laugh, and Shikaku's face remained neutral, though his eyes gleamed with amusement. Even Jiraiya had to turn his head to avoid laughing outright.
"Enough of this nonsense," Danzo snapped, attempting to keep his cool. "My life has been dedicated to protecting Konoha from the shadows. I am the only one with the experience and fortitude to lead us through this time."
"And yet, everyone in this village has already spoken," Shikaku said calmly, pulling out another letter. "This one's from one of the villagers. 'Gojo is charming, reliable, and has a nice smile. I would love him as Hokage.'"
"Also, there's this one," Shikaku added, trying to keep his face straight. "It says, 'Gojo is handsome and strong. Please make him Hokage, and tell him I'm single.'"
"See?" Gojo flashed a peace sign. "The people have spoken. It's practically destiny."
Danzo looked ready to explode. "This… this is ludicrous! Do you have any idea what we're dealing with? This village's foundation is at stake!"
"And you think the solution is having a Hokage who treats everyone like his pet project?" Gojo's smile faded slightly. "Look, Danzo, if you want a position so badly, why not make yourself 'Dog-Kage'? I'll even give you a few chew toys."
The elders were now hiding their faces, attempting not to lose their composure. Jiraiya finally let out a chuckle. "Danzo, looks like the council's spoken. Better start polishing up on those dog tricks."