"Ugh… hurts like hell."
Dare Drake Tran woke up feeling as though the entire Celestial Court had crushed him. Well, in fact, that's precisely what happened – a Celestial Master freshly "disciplined" by the heavens.
"Damn it…" He struggled to his feet, eyeing his once gold-embroidered robes, now looking like an old rag discarded by Laozi himself. "Hey, Jade Emperor, the least you could've done was let me change clothes before tossing me down here!"
Standing up fully, Dare nearly toppled over, not used to his mortal body. A thousand years floating among clouds, and now he had to learn how to… walk again. Truly, the Dao of Heaven had quite the sense of humor.
Fragments of his argument with the Jade Emperor still flashed vividly in his mind.
"Dare Drake Tran! You dare say the Celestial Court is too harsh on humans?"
"With all due respect, Jade Emperor, humans need freedom to grow. They're not puppets to be controlled by the Celestial Court…"
CRACK! Thunder roared through the heavens. "Fine, you want freedom? I'll grant you life as a mortal. Prove your Dao for yourself!"
"Pfft!" Dare spat lightly. "With a temper like that, no wonder the Queen Mother still hasn't married off her Jade Maiden…"
He muttered to himself, pausing as he considered the possibility of being struck by lightning again. But apparently, the Jade Emperor was busy... with some kind of heavenly council or another.
Looking around, Dare found himself in the middle of a wild forest. Morning mist still clung to the grass, and birds chirped on branches as if mocking this downfallen celestial.
"All right…" Dare dusted off his clothes. "First thing's first: let's see how much power I still have."
He took a deep breath, attempted to channel his energy… and nothing happened. Not a hint of spiritual energy, not a single spark. It felt like going from a war god to… a farmer waking up from a drunken stupor.
"Great…" He sighed. "Looks like the Jade Emperor didn't just banish me but sealed me up thoroughly too. At least he left me this handsome face…"
As he was about to sit down to bemoan his fate, the air in front of him rippled suddenly. A translucent screen appeared, glowing faintly like fireflies in daylight.
"Whoa!" Dare jumped back. "What is this? Jade Emperor's surveillance on me?"
Welcome to the Immortal Cultivation Social Network!
User: Dare Drake Tran
Current Realm: Mortal (Pathetic)
Followers: 0 (So lonely!)
Likes: 0 (Very sad…)
Credit: 0 (Broke)
Available Feature: Basic Livestream
First Mission: Reach Qi Refining Level 1
Reward: 100 Credits + Unlock "Post" Feature
"…" Dare stared blankly at the text in brackets. "System, did you really have to be that blunt?"
A red button blinked:
Start Livestream.
"Live… stream?" He scratched his head. "What kind of magical artifact is this? Never seen anything like it in the Celestial Treasury…"
Cautiously, he tapped the red button, and a small box appeared, reflecting his face. Dare flinched – he'd never seen himself look this way. Hair disheveled, face scratched, he looked like a high-class beggar.
Cough cough… He quickly fixed his hair. "Even in the mortal world, I must keep my dignity. If this image gets back to the heavens… Ah, the celestial maidens would laugh themselves silly."
🔴 LIVE STREAMING
"Viewers: 0"
"Uh… hello?" Dare stammered. "Fellow… cultivators? Viewers? Celestial friends? Or should I be calling you… netizens now?"
Silence. Only the breeze and a few mocking bird chirps.
"All right then…" He cleared his throat. "Today, I—Dare Drake Tran, just… uh, a normal guy—will begin the path of cultivation from scratch! This will be a fascinating journey, a…"
A worm fell from a branch above, landing on his nose.
ACHOO!
[Viewers: 1]
[CelestialPalace_001: "...]
[CelestialPalace_001: "Quite the… entrance."]
"Oh!" Dare quickly wiped his nose, trying to look serious. "Honored to have a viewer! I shall…"
[CelestialPalace_001: "Less talking. Start cultivating. Breathe 4-4-4."]
"4-4-4?" Dare blinked. "Wait, isn't that the Tzu Xiao Sect's breathing technique… who are you?"
[CelestialPalace_001: "Less talking, more cultivating. Start now, or I'm out."]
"All right, all right!" Dare hurriedly sat cross-legged. "Inhale… exhale…"
[CelestialPalace_001: "Wrong. You call that a cross-legged posture? You look like a frog waiting for a raindrop."]
Dare's face flushed. A thousand years as a Celestial Master, and no one had ever insulted his meditation posture. Then again, perhaps a thousand years on clouds had made him… forget the basics?
"Like… this?" He adjusted awkwardly.
[CelestialPalace_001: "Passable. Now focus on breathing. Four counts inhale—as if drawing in all of heaven's essence. Four counts hold—as if cradling the universe. Four counts exhale—as if… well, just exhale."]
"That last part's a bit uninspired…" Dare muttered.
[CelestialPalace_001: "Do you want to be kicked out of class?"]
"No! Apologies!" He replied instinctively, like a disciple from Tzu Xiao Sect. Wait… why did this voice sound so familiar?
Shaking off the thought, Dare began focusing on his breath. Bit by bit, he absorbed wisps of spiritual energy into his body. Compared to his days as a Celestial Master, when a single thought could drain an entire region of its energy, gathering it bit by bit like this felt…
"Refreshing!" He chuckled. "Like learning all over again."
[CelestialPalace_001: "At least you see the bright side. Maybe this mortal life will teach you… humility."]
"Hey, hey, I'm already very humble!" Dare protested. "Just… occasionally a bit, well, arrogant."
[CelestialPalace_001: "A bit?"
CelestialPalace_001: "Who once declared, 'I stand atop the Celestial Court, clouds beneath my feet, clouds above my head'?"]
"Er…" Dare flushed. "That was right after I ascended to Celestial Master. I was… excited."
[CelestialPalace_001: "Focus! Stop reminiscing. Spiritual energy is accumulating."]
"Oh!" Dare snapped to attention. Indeed, a warm energy was circulating through his body. The wisps were no longer scattered, forming a small but steady flow.
"This feeling…" He smiled. "It's like my first cultivation session all over again."
[CelestialPalace_001: "Who would have thought that the mortal realm would make you… closer to the Dao. Keep going, you're about to break through."]
Four hours passed. The sun rose high, casting golden rays through the leaves. Sweat drenched Dare's back – the first time he'd broken a sweat in a thousand years.
"Phew…" He wiped his brow with a grin. "Turns out mortal cultivation has its… charms!"
Suddenly, a familiar sensation spread through his body. The qi began to form a complete circuit.
Congratulations! You've reached Qi Refining Level 1!
Rewards: 100 Credits
Unlocked Feature: Post
New Quest: Go to Spirit Creek Village
Special Achievement:
"Celestial Master in Qi Refining" – The first-ever livestream of a Celestial Master's fall to Qi Refining!
Reward: +50 Credits
"Hey!" Dare jumped up. "Did you really have to record that as an achievement? Are you trying to make me a laughingstock?"
[CelestialPalace_001: "Haha, looks like the system has a sense of humor. Well, my work here is done."]
"Wait!" He called out. "Who are you, really?"
[CelestialPalace_001: "Just an old friend. Keep that optimistic spirit… you fool."]
[CelestialPalace_001 has left]
"An old friend…" Dare murmured. "And that way of scolding… could it be…"
ACHOO!
A small squirrel jumped onto his head, knocking down an acorn.
"All right!" Dare got up, dusting himself off. "Spirit Creek Village, is it? Wonder if they have a tavern? Haven't had a drink in a thousand years; maybe being mortal has its perks…"
He looked towards a faint smoke trail rising in the distance. The sun was high, and the morning wind carried the scent of grass and… kitchen smoke? Probably lunchtime by now.
"Could it be…" His stomach rumbled. "Do mortals have any good food?"
And so, with 150 credits in his pocket, the fallen Celestial Master set off on his first mortal quest: finding… his first meal.