Before dawn broke and while the morning mist still lingered, a loud singing shattered the quiet of the early hour:
"I'm the world's best guide,
Taking folks far and wide,
Where there's wine, I'll be your ride…"
THWACK!
A pillow flew down from the attic, landing squarely on Zhu Bajie's face. Dare Drake Tran, yawning widely, commented,
"Weren't you just as terrible a singer a thousand years ago?"
"Hmph!" Zhu Bajie puffed out his chest. "I'm getting into character as a professional guide, you know!"
[System: Identified "Non-Professional Guide"
Outfit: Torn Daoist robe + Crooked leaf hat
Knowledge Base: 90% wine taverns, 10% actual directions
Note: "From Great Marshal Tianpeng… to a comically bad tour guide."]
Dare watched his old friend fumbling with his outfit, feeling a strange mix of nostalgia and melancholy. Here in the mortal world, there were no thrones, no celestial attendants pouring wine. Just two fallen immortals, trying to navigate the life of ordinary men.
"Hey, hey!" Zhu Bajie clapped him on the shoulder. "What are you looking so gloomy about? Lesson one today: Mortal currency!"
"Currency?"
"Exactly! Unlike the Celestial Court with its spirit stones," he said, pulling a few copper coins from his pocket, "this is the most precious thing down here! With it, you have everything…"
"Oh…" Dare nodded. "And how much of it do you have?"
"Uh…" Zhu Bajie counted carefully. "Three… coins…"
[TinyFairy2k: "The poorest tour guide of the year!"]
[Guest1810: "Two fallen gods with pockets emptier than my wallet."]
[Viewers: 50,000+]
"Alright then!" Zhu Bajie threw his arm around Dare. "Let me teach you the art… of eating and drinking without money!"
"Hold on…" Dare raised an eyebrow. "What kind of art?"
"Just start the livestream! I'll show you a mortal trick or two!"
[CelestialPalace_001: "This seems unwise…"]
[CelestialPalace_002: "From fallen gods to… petty con men?"]
🔴 LIVE NOW: "First Lesson in the Mortal World"
The streets grew busier, and the aroma of food wafted from the nearby noodle shops, making Dare's stomach rumble. In the Celestial Court, hunger was merely a distant concept. But now…
"So, tell me…" He swallowed, trying not to stare at the food. "What's this 'art of not needing money'?"
Zhu Bajie grinned. "Remember how I used to sneak into the Celestial Court and steal peaches of immortality?"
"Oh!" Dare's eyes brightened with recognition. "You disguised yourself as…"
"Exactly!" The Daoist pulled a talisman from his pocket. "The art of transformation!"
[System: Warning! Detected "Advanced Deception Techniques"
Risk: 90% chance of getting caught
Success rate: Depends on acting skill
Note: "From Celestial Master to… street performer?"]
"Wait!" Dare grabbed Zhu Bajie's arm. "What are you planning to transform into?"
"A health inspector!"
Dare's mind flashed an image of a chubby, red-faced Daoist in a crooked official's hat. He sighed deeply.
"This… does not seem like a good idea."
"Why not?" Zhu Bajie looked offended. "I'm an excellent actor! I even impersonated a celestial maiden back in the Celestial Court!"
[TinyFairy2k: "Can't wait for this epic cosplay!"]
[Guest1810: "A drunk inspector? Gold."]
[CelestialPalace_001: "…Still unchanged after a thousand years."]
Just then, a group of men dressed as monks appeared at the end of the street. The atmosphere grew tense as vendors hurriedly packed up and moved aside.
"Great Mercy Temple…" Zhu Bajie's tone turned serious. "They're patrolling so early?"
Dare studied the men closely. Although they wore monks' robes, a faint dark aura surrounded them, only perceptible to those with spiritual sight.
"Demonic energy…" he murmured. "Why would monks carry demonic energy?"
"That's why I'm here," Zhu Bajie replied, his voice low. "About a month ago, I noticed something strange at the Great Mercy Temple. And then that celestial maiden showed up…"