She paced in her room like a caged animal. She could feel her lungs squeezing the life out of her as she gasped for air. She guessed she was having a panic attack.
"Breathe, Andy!"
She agreed to the engagement but not to the wedding.
What the hell, Lucas!
She thought she would have enough time to retract her decision, preventing herself from committing the biggest mistake in her life.
But it seemed she was running out of time as she stared at the most beautiful wedding dress she had ever seen, standing in the corner of her room.
"No! This..." She uttered in frustration while staring at the white gown. "It could not be happening." She was not ready to get married.
I just turned 21.
My life has barely started.
I hardly experienced the world.
She could recite a hundred reasons for canceling this wedding. Yet, she could count on one hand why she had agreed to this arrangement in the first place.
However, something else bothered her. It kept nagging at her, but she did not know if she had the right to ask the questions.
"Still, I need answers before I go through with this wedding." She could think of only one person who could answer them.
But before that, she wanted to go where she could think. She wished to be with the people she loved. An hour later, she sat on the grassy lawn, staring at the names of the family who left her behind.
"Dad, why did you make such a deal with the Preston?" She did not understand it. "Did you know that you would leave me alone in this world? Is that it?"
She wondered if his father had a premonition of their impending death. Hence, her father made a pact with his friend to put her under their care to keep her safe.
Why else would you take away my freedom?
She knew her parents only had the best intentions for her future. However, this agreement had pushed her to a corner where she barely had a choice.
"Mom, did you see my gown? It is as beautiful as the one you wore." But she only wished it was the wedding she had dreamt of.
Unfortunately, it was only a façade.
"Daddy Frankie promised to walk me down the aisle." She had heard him say that a thousand times. Soon, it was about to come true.
Nonetheless, she wished her father would be standing next to her. But then again, her wishes were just that.
Impossible Wishes. They never come true.
Sometimes, she could not help but question why she survived that catastrophic car crash. They said that her brother shielded her in the back seat, protecting her from the fatal blow.
Why was the world unfair to her?
She hardly remembered much of that night's event except for a few memories. She knew it was her 18th birthday. Her father threw her the most luxurious party at one of the best hotels.
"You should not have done that." She turned to William with his handsome face and kind smile. "You should have lived, not me."
Her brother had so many things going on in his life. His future was set in stone to be great and successful. But he died because he had to play the hero.
"You should not have saved my life." But, like always, she played this monologue game where she talked, but nobody answered.
Even though Daddy Frankie had treated her like a daughter, she still missed the life she shared with her loving parents and overly protective brother.
"By the way, can you kick your friend's ass for me?" She still remembered her brother's promise. But now, her brother could not do anything.
Of course, she was crying, but her tears were not for that scumbag. That man did not deserve a single drop of her pain.
She only shed her tears for all the people who genuinely loved her that she had lost.
"I knew it. I will find you here."
A warm hand touched her shoulder, notifying her of unexpected company. But she did not need to look up to know who it was.
"What are you doing here, Tristan?" She greeted him, wiping her tears before her friend noticed it.
"I heard about your engagement to my brother." Her friend sat beside her with his eyes focused on her brother's tombstone. "Is that why you are crying?"
She guessed she could not fool her friend as she sniffled a sob. Besides, her eyes might be bloodshot from her lack of sleep and crying.
"Of course not! I only miss my family," she stated firmly, making it clear that the older Preston brother was not the reason for her tears.
"You know your brother could not make me cry." How could he when they hardly talked to each other? Thus, the question of how they would end up together.
"Are you sure about this?" Tristan sounded skeptical. "I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if it was Jeremy, but Lucas. I just don't get it."
Precisely!
She shared his sentiment. But she could not tell him that.
"How did this even happen? From what I can remember, you never liked each other. Now, you wear his ring. Then you are marrying him next week."
"What about Jeremy?" He fired away his questions.
She wanted to tell him about her breakup with Jeremy, but she knew he was busy with his studies. The last thing she wanted was to be a distraction.
Nonetheless, she could tell he had many more questions. If it had come as a shock to them, it was a shock for her, too. But, of course, she could not tell them the truth.
"We broke up. Jeremy cheated on me. Then, Lucas was there. Somehow, he rekindled my old feelings for him." She told him what she had rehearsed in her mind.
She had to concoct these lies to satisfy everybody's curiosity about her relationship with her future husband.
"I know this is surprisingly fast, but I love your brother." She used to think that she loved him when they were young. But now, she was only saying that to cover their arrangement.
At least it was not a total lie.
"Really? Love?" The sound of doubt in Tristan's voice echoed what she felt. But that did not matter.
Her feelings did not account for this arrangement. It was a mere transactional agreement.
"Can you believe that?"