From my earliest memories, my life has been a constant challenge.
I was born into the prestigious and highly respected Fiammetta family, renowned as the most distinguished warriors in the country of Bellum.
As soon as I became aware of my existence, I was immersed in an environment of rigorous discipline. Punishments, admonitions, and relentless training were the cornerstones of my upbringing. Despite being my parents' only daughter, I was raised as though I were just another one of my five older brothers.
I remember that when I was little, my father would say to me during training, "Fayna, just because you're a girl doesn't mean I'll go easy on you. Get up; you still have much to learn."
Back then, I couldn't quite understand him. Why did my father treat me so harshly? Was it because of my mischief? Those questions tormented me constantly.
Over time, I realized the answer was simpler than I'd thought: it was because I was his only daughter. Perhaps, had I been born a boy, things would have been different.
Those memories left deep marks on my soul, and if it weren't for the immense love my mother gave me, I wouldn't be the person I am today.
My life took a complete turn when war broke out between Bellum and Basilis, the country to the south. At the same time, Harmonia, the northern nation, took advantage of the situation and attempted to invade us as well.
What was the response from the king's defending family in Bellum? Simple: send a sixteen-year-old girl to defend the border city of Interra.
I received the news in the mansion's back garden.
"Father! Please reconsider, I can't defend Interra alone!"
"As the king's sword and shield, our mission is to lay down our lives for the country. You are very mistaken if you thought you'd get special treatment just because you're my only daughter."
Before me stood a tall, imposing man with short crimson hair and matching eyes, expressionless and stern. My father had just sent me to what I believed would be my place of death.
"Daughter, I know you'll be alright." Mother gently stroked my cheek. "You're the most talented of all your siblings."
"Mother, I'm scared..." I held onto her hand.
"Fayna, the only purpose of our clan is war." She pulled away and looked me in the eyes. "Don't be afraid. Once you step onto the battlefield, you'll understand what I mean."
"Stella, Marcial, let's go." My father called my mother and eldest brother. He looked at me seriously, as if sentencing me to death. "Fayna, stop doubting yourself. Nothing will happen to you if you apply what your mother and I have taught you."
"Little sister, your magic is amazing—everything will turn out fine!"
"Thank you, brother... I'll do my best."
If it weren't for the small mole under his left eye, I'd think those kind words came from my father's lips.
"I'll be waiting for you." He hugged me tightly, as if his embrace was begging me not to leave him.
That gesture made me feel a little safer, but not enough to fully trust in my abilities.
My parents and my five older brothers departed to defend the southern border from Basilis' assault. As they moved away, I felt a final farewell from them. Even if I survived, there was no guarantee I'd see them again.
With nothing else to do, I donned my armor. The gorget, shoulder plates, breastplate, fauld, and backplate fit snugly and lightly around me, unlike the bulkier armor of knights. The same was true for the shin guards, thigh guards, and knee plates. Lastly, the helmet remained open, letting my long hair flow freely.
Though I was a mage, wearing armor tailored for my class still left me feeling vulnerable.
I fastened my golden emblem over my chest: a majestic phoenix in flight, its breath igniting enemy soldiers.
If only I had the courage to do the same, I thought.
Fearful and almost certain I wouldn't return alive, I set out for the city of Interra.
Upon reaching the barracks, I was met by Commander Caesar, a bald man standing at nearly two meters tall. His strong build and booming voice could intimidate anyone; he looked like some awful ogre in human form.
"Is this some kind of sick joke?!" He slammed the table, knocking over a few cups and scattering pieces from the tactical map. "Why the hell did the Fiammettas send us a woman?!"
A nervous soldier replied, "Commander! The other Fiammettas are defending the southern border. They'll send reinforcements as soon as they can."
"Damn it! First, the Amery family leaves us high and dry, and now the Fiammettas send us a whiny little girl as backup. The city's as good as lost!"
At that moment, no one cared about how I felt; not even my family name mattered—simply because I was an inexperienced young woman.
"Fayna Fiammetta! As your commander, I order you to intercept the enemy army in the fields outside the city."
"But… Commander…" I stammered, placing both hands over my chest and lowering my gaze. "I… I can't do it alone!" I shook my head.
In response, Commander Caesar shot up, slamming the table aside.
"You're a Fiammetta, aren't you?! Do your damn job!"
Without even a chance to reply, I was forced into a suicide mission.
As I left the barracks, I was so lost in thought that I accidentally bumped into someone.
"I'm terribly sorry, miss."
"No problem."
In front of me was a tall young man, likely around my age, with a fit build, blond hair, and sky-blue eyes, and he was covered in blood.
"Are you alright?"
"It's just a few cuts. Where are you headed, miss?"
"I'm going to intercept the enemy army in the fields outside the city," I replied, trying to keep my composure.
"Are you doing this alone?"
"Yes…" I answered, uncertainly. The young man paused, deep in thought.
"Then, you're like me." Our eyes met, and he gave me a warm smile. "If they allow it, I'll come to support you. Good luck—try not to die."
With those words, he turned and headed toward the barracks.
Why did he say, "You're like me"? What an odd guy.
When I reached the field, the thought of not making it out alive filled my mind. The scouting army was stationed there, and with the help of spatial magic, I could tell there were a thousand soldiers.
As I walked toward the enemy camp, memories of the beautiful moments I'd shared with my mother and my eldest brother surfaced. He was the only one who treated me kindly. Despite being six years older, he always played by my side. It didn't matter if I asked him to pretend to be a dragon—he'd lift me up and act the part.
With each step, more tears welled up.
"Enemy spotted!"
Thanks to my heightened senses, I overheard the enemy forces communicating, even though they were fifty meters away.
"Snipers! Take your positions… fire!" the enemy commander ordered, and the magical rifles shot in unison.
Upon hearing the command, I closed my eyes.
I'm sorry, Mother… I'm going to die full of holes, I thought, standing still.
"The target is still standing! Aim again!"
How am I still alive? I opened my eyes and noticed that my armor was completely intact.
"Fire!"
This time, I decided to watch the outcome: just before the shots landed, a wall of fire surrounded me.
So, they can't break through my defenses?
I kept walking, and with every step, my heart raced faster; I could feel power coursing through my veins. My fear vanished.
It was the awakening—the blood ability of the Fiammetta.
I was so intoxicated by the power that I hadn't even realized I'd reached the entrance to the enemy camp.
"Hands up!" The soldiers pointed their rifles and swords at me. "You're surrounded. If you don't resist, we won't kill you."
I couldn't have cared less. Just like my mother had said, my body knew exactly what to do in that moment.
As soon as I raised my hand, they all fired. The other soldiers rushed at me with their swords. Yet the bullets couldn't penetrate my wall of fire, and the swords melted in the hands of those holding them.
"Commander! Look at the emblem on her chest! She's a Fiammetta!"
From the look on their faces, it was as if they'd just seen their worst nightmare; they trembled, and some even took a step back.
"M-Miss! If you retreat now, we won't harm you!"
But my mind could no longer resist the call—the warrior's blood was urging me on.
"Inferos!" A powerful wave of fire shot forward from my right hand.
"Commander!"
In front of me lay the charred corpse of the commander, and not just him—every soldier within a hundred meters behind him had met the same fate.
The euphoria of awakening clouded my thoughts; my heart pounded, my body trembled from head to toe. I wanted to keep this feeling, no matter what.
I raised my hand again, casting the same spell over and over.
Their attempts to defend with water magic were useless; the moment it touched my wave of fire, it evaporated.
"Retreat!"
Everyone around fled as if bombs were raining down. But I wouldn't let them escape alive. Changing the spell's structure, I cast the wave in all directions.
"Inferos!"
Though it lost some strength, the result was exactly what I wanted: soldiers within a ten-meter radius were burned to ashes, and beyond that, everything was engulfed in flames.
The sound of their desperate, agonizing screams was almost satisfying. Some threw themselves to the ground, trying in vain to extinguish the flames. Water or ice magic was useless; hell had risen before my eyes.
I set about completing my mission. In just an hour, I ended the lives of a thousand soldiers. Not a single soul remained.
That vast, beautiful field of fertile land where cattle once grazed was now nothing more than a burning cemetery.
"Fayna Fiammetta!" shouted Commander Caesar as he approached on horseback. "What in the world happened here?"
"Commander, mission accomplished."
"You wiped out a thousand soldiers on your own?! And why didn't you bring back any prisoners? You're utterly useless!" He dismounted and strode toward me. He towered over me at two meters tall, while I barely reached one seventy; the height difference was striking.
As he tried to grab my neck, the wall of fire activated, severely burning his arm.
"Aaaargh! What's wrong with you?! You're a…!"
I didn't let him finish speaking. I used fire magic to burn his legs and throw him to the ground as he started screaming.
"Shut up, you idiot!" I interrupted him with disdain, as if he were nothing more than a disgusting cockroach. "Listen up! By order of the Fiammetta family, I am your new commander!"
"You… you can't—"
I crushed Caesar's fingers beneath my heel, hearing the crack of his bones and his piercing scream, which sent a shiver down my spine.
"Did I give you permission to speak?" I snapped. "In war, the strongest are the ones who should lead." I turned to the soldiers. "From now on, I'm the one giving the orders! Any objections?"
They all fell into line and stood at attention.
"No, Commander!"
That memory will never fade from my mind. It was the beginning of an endless series of lives taken by my hands. On that day, the frightened, innocent girl vanished, replaced by a ruthless, strong warrior. It's been two years since then.
Why are all these memories coming back on the most important day of my life?
"Congratulations, it's a boy!"
Deus, after everything I've done, do I even deserve to enjoy this moment?
"Honey, he looks just like me!"
Tears begin to well up.
"Well, my dear, looks like you won the bet after all. He's a beautiful boy!" I give my husband a soft smile. "Doctor, may I hold him?"
"Yes, we've confirmed he's perfectly healthy."
I take my firstborn into my arms.
"Hello, my little one. Mommy has been waiting for you."
Leonard comes closer to us.
"Since he's a boy, I already have his name." He rests a gentle hand on the baby's tiny head. "His name is… Alaric!"
Leonard pulls us into an embrace.
"It's a beautiful name, my love." I kiss him softly. "I'm sure he'll grow up to be a great man, just like you."
It's true—I'll never be able to erase my sins or the actions of the Invincible Phoenix. But I can't live forever trapped by guilt. Right now, I need to look forward, for the sake of my family.
Deus, for so long, I resented you for not letting me be born a man. But now I realize that being a woman is the greatest gift I could have received. The feeling of being a mother is the most profound of all. Thank you, Deus.