Just a little over two weeks ago, I celebrated my third birthday. Since then, I've been forced to take lessons.
"Hana! Where do you think you're going?!" Fayna calls out as she comes toward me.
"You'll never catch me alive!" I shout, lifting the hem of my blue dress a bit, and dash out of the ballroom toward the backyard.
The backyard is divided into three sections:
The first is a grassy field about thirty by fifteen meters, where my siblings and I usually play.
The second is a hedge maze with a gazebo for viewing it from above.
The third is a garden filled with all kinds of flowers, which Stella seems to enjoy for some reason.
"Get back to your lesson this instant, Hanae!"
{Mom sounds angry.}
[Don't worry; she'll calm down.]
When I don't answer, she grabs the skirt of her crimson dress and chases after me.
In all the time I've lived in this world, the most astonishing thing that's happened to me is that I hear someone in my mind who speaks with my own voice.
I first noticed it when I learned to pronounce words and form complex sentences. At first, I thought it was my imagination, but as I grew and learned, that voice developed a personality of its own—I even started to fear I was losing my mind.
I was really scared at first, but for some strange reason, I eventually started to feel comfortable with it, to the point where we began to talk as if it were normal.
After a few conversations, I realized that the voice had adopted the name Hanae. She's aware that she's a little girl, and she identifies Fayna, Leonard, Stella, Alaric, Astrid, and Eleonor as her family.
She can also hear my thoughts. Sometimes, she'll ask me what something I'm thinking about means. I have no idea how deep she can dig into my memories, but for her sake, I hope it's not much.
That ability goes both ways: I can hear her, too. Unfortunately, it's useless for me.
We both have the power to control this body, but only one of us can be in charge at a time. Most of the time, I'm in control, but if she feels a strong emotion, she can wrest control from me. When that happens, I have to focus intensely to get it back.
She agreed to follow my lead pretty easily—manipulating people is something I'm rather good at.
I don't understand who or what this presence inside me is, but my only choice is to live with it. So, I decided to call her "Hana," while she knows me as "HanaJ."
{This feels wrong.}
[Why do you say that?]
{I don't want to disobey Mom; it makes me a bad girl.}
[Do you want to keep dancing?]
{No.}
[Then stay quiet.]
After hiding among the bushes at the entrance of the maze, I manage to lose Fayna. After a few minutes, I slip out and quietly make my way down the path that connects the three sections.
Suddenly, a woman's voice speaks to me:
"Hello, little Hana. Why is your dress so dirty?"
Startled, I jump and turn around. Hana takes control of the body and rushes over to hug Stella, who greets her with open arms.
"Grandma!" Hana kisses Stella's cheek.
[Hey! We don't have time to waste here.]
{I want to talk to Grandma!}
[I want to keep hiding; hand over control willingly.]
{No way!}
"Hana? Are you alright?" Stella asks, looking confused.
"I'm fine," I say with a forced smile. "I was thinking of going somewhere Mom won't find me."
"Why are you running away from her?"
{You're mean!}
[I told you to hand it over willingly. Now, stay quiet.]
"Hana?" Stella laughs softly. "You're so absent-minded."
"Mmm, why do you say that, Grandma?" I tilt my head slightly.
I suddenly feel someone pick me up.
"Found you!"
Turning around, I see Fayna giving me a serious look. I could swear that her rose-colored eyes would turn a fierce red at the slightest provocation.
"Where have you been hiding?" She looks me over from head to toe. "You're covered in dirt!"
In my past life, I caused a lot of trouble. I always got out of it by paying or by turning the situation to my advantage. So, since she thinks I'm just an innocent little girl, I'll make her believe I'm playing.
"Hanae, what are you doing?"
{Mom's mad.}
[She won't be for long.]
Not hearing another word from Fayna, I slightly open my right eye. She looks at me, confused, while Stella smiles.
"Are you done playing, Hanae?" She narrows her eyes.
{It didn't work; she's still upset.}
[Shut up...]
Seeing the situation, Stella laughs gently.
"Sweetheart, Hana is so mischievous." She places her hand on her chin. "She reminds me so much of you."
"Mmm? I don't remember being that mischievous…"
I open my eyes: Fayna's cheeks have a slight shade of red.
"Mother, I want you to know that you didn't catch me alive," I say proudly.
"You're hopeless." She sighs. "Also, I've told you more than once not to call me 'Mother,' but 'Mom.' If you mess up again, there will be a punishment."
{I don't want to be punished!}
"I'm so sorry, Mom! I won't do it again!"
Without thinking, the words come out in a tone of regret, and I even feel my face change to one of sadness.
"It's okay, as long as you learn your lesson." Fayna hugs me and kisses my cheek.
"I love you so much, Mom," Hana responds, returning the kiss to Fayna.
[I'll let you have control this time…]
{Thank you!}
Even though I've gotten used to us both speaking in the same voice, it still feels strange to hear myself with such different emotions. Even if her tactic worked, it frustrates me to lose to a little girl.
"Mother, I'll go clean up Hana. We'll see you in a bit."
"Alright. Please, don't be too hard on her." Stella smiles awkwardly.
Fayna gives a small bow and turns around.
"Goodbye, Grandma!" Hana waves with both hands.
"Goodbye, my little girl."
[You shouldn't be this happy.]
{Why not?}
"Hana, would you mind explaining why you ran out in the middle of your dance lesson?" Fayna sets me down on the ground.
The way she's looking at me—like she'll judge me no matter what I say—reminds me of my real mother. I'd give anything for her to be the one looking at me like that...
[You forgot why we ran, didn't you?]
{Yes…}
[I'll handle it.]
"I don't like dancing…" I say with a sad tone.
"For a noble, the art of dancing is essential; you absolutely must learn it."
"But…"
"No excuses," Fayna interrupts me firmly. "Though it may seem hard at first, with effort and dedication, you'll master it." She gently strokes my short, ruby-red hair.
Once we reach my room, Fayna changes my clothes, putting on another set of the same blue dress.
"Hana, please, don't do that again."
"Yes, mothe…"
"I must have misheard you. What did you just call me?" Her gaze sharpens.
"Yes, Mom!"
"Very well, let's go back to the ballroom. We still have time for your lesson." Fayna smiles gently and takes my hand.
[Tch! I hate calling her 'Mom.']
{Why? She's our mom.}
[She's not mine; she's yours.]
{I don't understand.}
[One day, you will.]
That's right—no one in this house is my real family… they're nothing but impostors. I have to find you soon, brother.