As Joshua walked with Missy through the dense forest, the sky was clear and the sunlight filtered through the natural green leaves like golden elixir dying the surroundings in its heavenly warmth. As they walked, they could smell the natural forest aroma as the infusion of the earthy dirt and the sweet scent of pollen created a charming contrast.
They walked, appreciating the natural aesthetic, a melancholy silence developing as they recognised that Missy was unlikely to see the forest again - a place they had cultivated a series of memories in over the years the most essential being that it was here that they had first played together after his adoption. Reminiscing, they felt pensive envisioning a gloomy boy with deep set red eyes and a scrawny physique being dragged by the arm through the forest by a lively, courageous and bold auburn haired child with a smile so ingrained into her face that they formed happy dimples which complemented her innocent eyes. Continuing on, the silence between them forming a intangible sense of gloom which haunted them as they passed the looming trees whispering to one another with emerald green leaves quivering in excitement.
Missy walked through the forest with a lively expression as if drawing life out of the forest's majesty. Her thoughts filled with appreciation and glee that she could see one last day epitomised by sunshine.
Walking through the forest the deep meaningful silence remained interrupted only by an opening in the woods leading back into town. As they turned into the bright street they heard a cacophony of noises as the sounds of shouting, blaring horns, the desperate flapping of wings and passing trains transformed into a wall of noises drowning the silence in the sounds of life. They passed by rows of connected shopfronts all selling essential items with glaring advertisements and signs in glass windows in screaming epileptic lights demanding your immediate attention. The world moved as if time had slowed around them as they saw a plethora of individual moments of a peoples lives seemingly all intercept and subsume into the hustle and bustle of lives moving desperately - mothers forcefully pushing buggies onto busses, deliverymen on bikes cutting through traffic, road rage between two extremely obese and short-tempered men as some high schoolers pointed and laughed- as if watching hundreds of lives in retrospect for one seemingly meaningless moment.
"So, what will you do whilst I'm gone?" she asked cutting through the discomforting silence which prevailed.
"Well, with all the time I'll be saving ill likely pick up a new hobby, maybe writing a book, becoming an actor or even skiing" joked Joshua in reply, his voice becoming increasingly distant.
"Well at least one benefit of dying is that i wont have to read whatever rubbish you'd write" she retorted laughing joyously reminiscent of her previous bold self. Her joy was a façade. She had finally come to the realisation of all that she would be missing out on, not only her own life but the lives of the people she loved. Her heart pained at the thought of being absent from Joshua's life unknowing whether he would be okay, being unable to witness his success or comfort him during his failures. The thought of her parents weeping in unsurmountable grief at her grave, the image of them clutching each other for support, her stoic father shattered and fragile and her bold mother drowned in sadness. Afterall, no parent expects to die before their children. The mere thought of her death seized her breath from her lungs as a siege underwent; the grief which supplanted her very essence slowly drained the life, energy and boldness out leaving behind a husk. Hollow and lifeless. A shell of her former self. The very image of her limp cold body and dull eyes felt like the cold steel and lifeless scythe of death was already at her throat humming sadistically as she attempted to crawl into her body to escape the suffocating feeling of what was inevitably approaching. Death.
Nevertheless, supressing the urge to breakdown and forcing her teary ducts to remain contained went against every instinct her body screamed and yet for her brother, it seemed natural.
They continued to talk about mostly meaningless things for the rest of the journey until the sky was split by an iridescent indigo glow which enveloped the sky splitting the clear sky by the horizon and drowning the world in its purple glow. Seeing the setting sun, both Joshua and Missy agree to head to the cliffside towards the edge of the forest in order to see the moon before heading home.
The vast shadow cast by the towering trees prostrated to the heavenly moonlight, lacerating through the void unveiling a breath-taking view as they were greeted by a tapestry of dazzling lights, shimmering like a mirage with each mote of moonlight shifting as it refracted across an expanse of darkness which shifted like dunes of sand. Joshua and Missy gazed out, swaying their legs gracefully despite the raging of the depths, as dark shadows catapulted against the cliffside with brutal force whipping white seafoam onto the obsidian cliff. As the warring ocean met the calm dark sky with little motes of light it illustrated a divine battle of light and dark. The dying of the light.
Unbeknownst to Joshua, his expression had distorted upon watching the inglorious battle in the horizon as it had ignited the darkness within him reawakening the indifferent sovereign expression on his face. The void within him grew enveloping the entirety of his being as it spread slowly like a cancerous tumour desperately devouring the emotions which coloured his life with happiness and joy. However what Missy had found most disturbing about his violent state was his eyes. Darkness and bloody threads intertwining into a violent blackhole which seemingly sucked in the very fabric of reality as stygian tendrils radiated from his now entirely horrifying eyes - a horrifying amalgamation of violence and blood thirst. It was as if the very essence of war had crept into his soul like a puppeteer overwhelming him with the primitive desire to kill ; each of its strings muscling its way beneath his skin before wrapping itself around his muscles like coils of wire tearing his bodily control away from him. The only word that could capture the truly horrifying feeling that Joshua endured was that it was as if he had become a diorama as he watched in retrospect as a strange being played with his body like a ragdoll violating his free will.
**Smack***
A sharp pain shot from the back of his head as he felt reinvigorated, dragged back to reality with renewed control of his body as the violent urges subsided leaving no traces.
"What did i say the last time!!" shouted Missy with exasperation and annoyance growing in her voice, "I told you to embrace your emotions not to be driven by them!".
Missy had long managed to recognise when Joshua would enter that strange state and it slightly scared her as she could see nothing but violence and darkness in his eyes, his very soul devoured by the void within him. Whilst she did not fully understand what this state was or where it came from but she presumed that it had originated from before the adoption. Either way she had noticed how simply a sharp awakening would force him out of the bloody trance like the saying pinch yourself to make sure you're not dreaming.
"If only it was that easy" Joshua grumbled in response as he swore at her internally for hitting him so hard his head was still ringing though not saying anything upon worry that he would be smacked again, sometimes it was almost impossible for him to notice that he was the older sibling and not the other way around as despite her sickness or even in health it seemed as if she looked out for him not the other way around.
"Remember what i said, whenever you feel control slipping to that desire practice it, the calming gesture i mean" She spoke softly each word dripping with wisdom as Joshua listened intently and symbolically practiced the gesture slowly regaining control of his body.
"What am i going to do? " he asked abruptly, a grim and inexplicable sadness emerging on his face as lines began to deepen from his ethereal ghostly pale skin. "What am i to do when you're gone?" he asked again slowly as his voice dropped another octave becoming little more than a sad whisper easily overwhelmed by the quietened environment; the warring environment had calmed as the melancholy wind moaned and the sky had darkened extinguishing each individual hopeful mote of light. Even the crashing waves had become a crisp and peaceful noise as it merely washed over the stoic cliffside. The environment had grinded to a halt, patiently witnessing her answer.
A silence had once again started to bloom as the atmosphere quivered with impatience the agitation palpable.
"Death is all encompassing, to humans like us it symbolises the end, the epitome of life. Yet, human beings only live each mortal day to the fullest with the knowledge of the inevitable end in mind. For animals, death is as natural and sanctified as life for the natural order to be maintained death of the old is just as necessary as the birth of a new generation of calves. Then what is death for those who live forever, if any such a being exists? For them I believe death is a gift, the end of a life of endurance. Thus live each day to the fullest and in my memory obsess with life rather than my death. To live is to suffer, and death is a gift to those who have lived full lives. "
Each word was unnaturally imbued with vitality and wisdom echoing through the forest into the impenetrable sky as if forcing god to hear her declaration embracing death.
Joshua's leaned back, cushioned by the soft earthy grass as he contemplated her words with meditative silence. Missy also leaned back, her smaller figure creating a child-like silhouette in the grass. They sat in silence smelling the natural cocktail of salt, asphalt and the metallic scent of dirt as they listened to nature's unending call, from the incessant twittering chatter of the birds returning to their nests to feed, to the last beat of Hermes' wings resonating with the cold wind of the north howling violently; the chilling wind engulfed their bodies as they exhaled an ethereal smoky cloud which billowed gracefully into the distance.
With his back supported by the strong hands of mother Gaia stopping his urge for the earth to swallow him he likewise supressed the urge to weep as a silent understanding existed between them, this was to be their final memory of each other full of life, a whisper in time preserved for eternity, unspoilt by tears. They lay staring at the sky as they replayed and felt every reserved memory of moments of where their lives had intersected, witnessing cries of happiness, sadness, annoyance, love, jealousy, embarrassment for one last time as they felt the spectrum of colours as emotions of every hue transformed into black.
For what has passed will not return and what has been witnessed will now be experienced with seldom another person. Siblings normally witness the entirety of the others life yet the testimony of Missy Barnett may soon end.
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Authors notes: I know i haven't posted in a few days but i warned you that without support i have to focus on other jobs and uni so i post when i can. Also i had to draft this chapter a few times till i was happy with the correct emotions conveyed so i hope my writing brings not only joy but gut-wrenching sadness.