It was Selena.
Across from her sat a man who had to be Ken. Tara felt a jolt, as if a bucket of ice had poured into her veins. Her hands turned cold, and the small cake she'd just bought slipped from her fingers and hit the sidewalk. She stood frozen, fingers clumsy as she pulled out her phone and typed a simple message:
"Selena, what are you doing?"
Selena glanced down, seeing the message just as Ken's voice rambled on. She hesitated but quickly typed back:
"Just handling a few things. Have you recovered from your fever?"
The reply wasn't what she'd expected.
"Are you working?"
Something about the question set off warning bells in Selena's mind. She scanned the café, eyes darting to every corner. She didn't spot Tara, but she typed back:
"Yes."
One single word, one that crushed the last faint glimmer of hope Tara held.
Of course, it had all been a dream. Selena would only love her in dreams.
Back inside the café, Ken drew out a red velvet box from his bag, letting it drop casually onto the table between them, his expression smug. From the way he opened the box, clearly displaying a glinting ring, Tara turned away quickly, feeling her chest squeeze tightly.
Eyes down, she gathered the ruined cake, tossing it into the trash and trying to compose herself as she leaned against a nearby streetlight. She felt foolish standing there, surrounded by busy strangers going about their day, all while she stood there fighting back an ache in her chest that made it hard to breathe.
The wind bit into her, sharp and unyielding, stinging her eyes with tears she couldn't seem to hold back. She lifted a hand to brush one away, fingers trembling, feeling absurdly out of place in the cold winter air. Somewhere warmer, she thought vaguely, just need somewhere warmer.
Before she knew it, she found herself standing outside Lena's apartment. She didn't know exactly how she got there, only that she'd kept walking with her head down, letting her feet take her where they wanted to go. Swallowing, she knocked on the door, her voice small when Lena opened it.
"It's me, Tara."
Lena stared for a long moment, stunned into silence. They'd grown up together, but she'd never seen Tara look so crushed, so lost. There was no wild outburst, no anger, only a deep sadness in her eyes, a blankness that made Lena's heart twist painfully. In that single look, she understood what had happened.
Tara entered slowly, shivering slightly. Forcing a weak smile, she whispered, "Lena."
Lena set her hand on Tara's shoulder, giving her a reassuring pat. "I know, Tara. I know."
Tara's voice broke through the silence, shaky but resolute. "Lena, would you mind if I stayed here for a while?"
"I wouldn't mind at all. Stay as long as you need." She tried for a cheerful note, a comforting distraction. "And once you're feeling better, I'll introduce you to a friend of mine—a real knockout, believe me. The most gorgeous, fascinating woman you'll ever meet."
Tara managed a small, wistful smile but didn't answer. She hugged a large stuffed animal Lena kept on her couch and stared blankly ahead. After a long pause, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Do you have any wine? I think I'd like a drink."
Lena, understanding, gently nudged a bowl of fresh fruit toward her. "Have some fruit." After a moment, she added, "You never drink, though. What's changed?"
"Just need something…something to dull this." Tara's voice was quiet, almost hollow.
Seeing the grief Tara was holding inside, Lena knew a drink might help her let some of it go. She poured a little of her favorite red, offering the glass with a soft warning. "Take it slow, Tara."
Tara wrapped her fingers around the glass, turning it slowly, the amber liquid swirling in the dim light. She took a small sip, feeling the initial sweetness give way to a harsh burn in her throat.
The silence hung heavily between them until Tara broke it. "I just remembered something."
"Oh?" Lena prompted.
"I must have been about four years old. My parents sponsored a girl back then. She was small, thin…so malnourished. She had to carry a little brother who looked twice her size, but her eyes…her eyes were wild and bright. She'd take me into the woods to find butterflies and wildflowers. It was probably the happiest I've ever been, those days with her." Tara's voice grew soft, distant. "She hugged me so tightly when we left. Said she'd find me someday, and we'd always be together."
Tara's voice quivered. "I told her I'd marry her. That way, we'd never have to be apart."
Lena glanced at Tara with a small smile, unsure of what to say. "You were just a kid, Tara. It was probably just a sweet memory, something you'll always cherish but nothing more…"
"Maybe it was," Tara said suddenly, cutting her off. "But she actually did find me."
A strange feeling crept over Lena. She prayed silently that whoever had found Tara was not that same girl from her childhood. Maybe if it were someone Tara had simply fallen for on impulse, she could move on in a few years, but if it were that girl, the connection could cut deeper than Tara could ever escape.
Lena tried to hide her anxiety as she asked, "And?"
"And I forgot her." Tara's voice fell to a whisper. "She's going to marry someone now, a man."
Tara, Lena thought, her heart aching as she watched Tara sink further into herself, unable to look her in the eye.
"If only I'd remembered her sooner," Tara whispered.
Lena was silent for a moment before sighing. "You were a child, Tara. It's natural you forgot. If she's choosing to be with someone else now, that just shows she's moved on. You shouldn't have to carry this guilt. It's not your fault. Maybe…" she hesitated, "maybe you're reading too much into it. How can you be sure she's the same girl?"
Tara managed a wry smile. "Ah, Lena, that's harsh. Can't you just let me indulge in some self-pity?"
But Lena felt something stir, as if an idea were taking shape. "Funny you'd mention it," she said, leaning closer. "I know someone who sounds a lot like that girl you just described. She also had a rough family, went through school on sponsorships, dropped out of her job in Canada and came back here on a whim, supposedly because she needed to find someone. It was right after she left that we met."
Tara stared at her, tension taut in her shoulders. She clenched her hands, voice wavering. "Do you know her last name?"
Lena's face softened. "She's the same as your boss, actually. Her last name is also Frost."
Tara's pulse quickened, her eyes wide. "And this friend of yours…does she work with you?"
"She used to," Lena replied. "She's gone freelance, though. Worked as a consultant for AM but now takes on private projects. Last I heard, she was planning to work abroad again."
As Lena's words sank in, the glimmer of hope that had ignited in Tara dimmed. "Then…it probably isn't her. My boss wouldn't leave AM. AM is one of the country's biggest firms. You'd have to be foolish to leave unless you had a really good reason."
Lena's gaze softened. "I can bring you to her. You could meet her and see for yourself."
The thought of it made Tara's heart ache even more. If she saw Selena, she would only be met with proof that her dream would remain unfulfilled, that the girl she longed for would always be just out of reach. And yet, a part of her couldn't help but yearn, even if it was only for a glimmer of confirmation.