Pressing the button for the elevator, I feel a knot in my stomach that's getting bigger and bigger. My palms are sweating, my legs can't seem to stop shaking, and I think I could vomit at any second.
When the lift arrives, I look to the man to my side.
"Are you ready?" I ask.
"After you."
I step ahead of Karl, working hard to calm my mind and steady my nerves. He hits the button for the top floor, it's the very one that Jamies whole team works on. It's also where the conference room is, or so I'm told.
Simon said he'd meet us up there. He still works here after all, and he's timed our arrival well. The office will be filled with staff, and the conference room with investors. Jamie won't be hiding. He'll be there, trying to appear like he's ready to do his father's job. I imagine he won't quite be ready for this though.
It's been over a week since I was released from the hospital. We clearly never made it to Denver, not that it's off the cards just yet.
Will wanted to come with me today, but I knew I needed to do this alone. After a lot of back and forth compromise, he's waiting out in the car for me, and even that was hard to get him to agree to.
I've intensionally removed the bandage above my eye, my bruises and cuts are on full display for everyone to see. No make up either, I'm not willing to hide a thing for Jamie anymore.
Karl gives me some sideways glances. I figure he's unsure about what to say to me, but it being Karl, he always finds something to contribute.
"I see you're going for subtly there," he says.
A soft chuckle falls from my lips, almost calming me down. I've spent the past week in conversations with him, and I think I've come to enjoy his dry wit.
"You really are an asshole you know that right?" I reply.
"Yes, but after this I'll be an asshole that might make it to heaven."
Simon is waiting for us when the doors open, just as he said he would be. He visably blanches when he looks at me, prompting Karl to get this shit eating grin on his face.
"That the kind of thing you were going for sweetheart?" he asks.
I notice Simon's face turning the deepest shade of purple as he rambles some form of an apology for his reaction. I tell him it's fine, Karl's charm on the other hand needs some work.
"You're sure you're comfortable with this Izzy?," Simon asks, "Myself and Karl can handle it if you're not up to it."
"I think I'll be alright, is he in there?"
"He's there, I knew he would be, he wouldn't miss a meeting like this. Tom has been telling everyone he was sick all week, but they were obviously waiting to see what you'd do."
"And they're not expecting us?" I ask.
"Not in this lifetime, you sure you're ready?"
"No, but let's do it anyway."
Simon guides us through the office, taking care to pass as many desks and members of staff as humanly possible. People look up and gasp, surprised to see Karl, and surprised to see me. There's a smattering of frowns and whispers.
"Isn't that Jamie's girlfriend?"
"Whats he doing here?"
"Look at her face, I wonder what happened?"
"Wasn't Karl fired?"
"Izzy right? Isn't that her name?"
I keep my head high, my shoulders back, or at least the one that doesn't hurt. I want everyone to see who Jamie is. I don't shout about it, I don't have to, a lot of people here know him better than I ever did.
Simon walks us through a set of double doors into a carpeted hallway, leafy green plants sit either side of the large double doors that face us.
"Well, that was fun!," he says, smiling from ear to ear.
Karl is just as pumped up for this as Simon, I wish I had their confidence right now. At this point I would have been far away from Jamie had Will and I left, not seeking him out, so this better work.
Just as Simon is about to lead us into the conference room, Karl taps my wrist and lowers his voice to speak to me.
"Hey, you've nothing to fear in here alright? He saved that stuff for behind closed doors for a reason. He knows if anyone else saw it, he'd be the one taking the beat down. I won't let him so much as sniff you."
"Careful Karl," I say, "you almost sound like you care."
"Almost," he replies
As we make our way in through the double doors, men and women turn in their seats, curious to know what the disturbance is. There's more of them than I expected, there's easily twenty plus people in here, all seated around a huge oval table.
I filter in behind Simon and Karl, thanking my lucky stars that they're both charismatic and willing to do the heavy lifting. Simon talks like he's meant to be here.
"Sorry to disturb you all ladies and gentlemen, but we have an urgent matter that we'd like to discuss with you all."
I meet Toms glare, he's the first person here that I recognise. I can't see Jamie, but I can feel him. His eyes are all over me. I don't allow myself to look for him, I wouldn't dare give him the satisfaction.
Tom is quick off the mark, scouring the room for his latest secretary.
"Gretchen, get security up here right now!"
Simon is on him, instantly trying to cool things down. "There's no need for that Tom, this can all be very civil."
"Civil!? You call gatecrashing an investors meeting civil?," Tom fumes. "What do you think you're doing? Have you lost your mind Simon?"
"Not quite, but I think your investors might be interested in seeing your son lose his."
There he is.
Coming to his father's side like a good boy. I wonder if it's because he wanted to put himself in my eye-line, or because he's just that dedicated to daddy. Either way, I only wish I could get a picture of his face.
"Izzy..." he mouths. He's cautious no to say it too loudly, afraid that everyone might put two and two together when they look at me. He looks a mixture of confused and intrigued as he narrows his eyes at me. I know what he's thinking. What could I possibly be doing here with Simon and Karl? How could I even know them?
He's about to find out.
Karl steps up beside me as promised, he's ready to play.
"Hey there Jamie, good to see ya."
"What the hell are you doing here Karl?," Jamie asks.
"Oh just a little project the three of us have been working on. Izzy and I have sort of become friends the last little while. When she came to me with an idea, I wasn't so sure it would work, but how could I say no to that face huh?"
He's an idiot, but it still makes me smile, calming the storm of nerves brewing in my chest.
There's a lot of moving around and shuffling. The investors are bewildered and demanding answers from Tom, it's exactly what we set out to do.
While Jamie had his attention on Karl and I, Simon was busy doing the work we needed done, so once he's ready, he calls for silence.
"Folks, if I could just draw your attention to the screen right here please, I think you all need to see this."
"Hey!" Jamie yells, "Shut that off!"
He knows exactly what it is. I wish I could taste the fear he's feeling right now.
The screen lights up regardless of his protests. As it plays, some looks fall in Karls direction, obviously some of the attendees here have heard about this. Simon presses pause on the video just as the pill was being pushed into that poor girls mouth.
One of the investors has already had enough, he's an older guy, well past the desire for any dramatics.
"Now this is getting entirely out of hand," he says, "What are you doing here? What's the meaning of all this?"
Simon makes the effort to keep everyone filled in.
"It seems some of you have already heard about this footage, but I know that of course none of you have seen it. That's because Jamie tried to ensure it disappeared."
Jamie is livid, he looks like he's ready to jump across the table at Simon.
"I don't know what he's talking about," he says, "Get him out of here!"
Karl isn't prepared to have Jamie talk his way out of this though. Not again.
"You know exactly what he's talking about Jamie," he says, "because it's you on that tape, not me. That's what you told every one though wasn't it? And you too Tom. Are you still willing to die on that hill?"
Jamie's dad is red faced with anger. There's no doubt inside of me now that he knew what Jamie did this whole time. He helped him bury it.
Karl soldiers on without a response.
"Well look," he says, "of course Tom is going to tell you all that it's not Jamie, that's his golden child. So why dont we ask someone who knows him a bit better. Izzy?"
I wasn't expecting to have to speak infront of so many people, I feel like this is getting a bit crazy, but I made Simon and Karl a promise, so I have to stick to it.
Looking up at the screen as everyone stares at me, waiting to hear what I have to say, I try to find the words I need.
"I...", I search the room, afraid that nobody here is going to believe me. Was this whole thing just another bad idea?
Karls fingers brush my wrist again. He lets me know that he's with me all the way.
"Knock em' dead sweetheart."
I clear my throat, starting over again with confidence.
"I can tell you all right now that the man in that video is Jamie. I have no doubts at all about it. I know by his voice, I know by the way he's talking to that girl, I even know by the sounds he makes when he does what he does to her. It's him."
The same gentleman that questioned us earlier stands up, pointing at me and looking to Tom.
"Who is she?," he asks, "and why is she here?"
The way he asks the question rubs me the wrong way. I'm suddenly feeling that bit braver, and I'm not prepared to let anyone speak on my behalf today either, so I make myself that bit louder.
"My name is Isobel sir, I'm Jamie's ex girlfriend."
"An ex girlfriend?" He rolls his eyes at hearing it.
"Yes, that's right," I say, "Jamie and I were together for the last four years, we lived together until just a week ago, when he did this to me."
There's some gasps and whispers around the room, I can feel Jamie's eyes burning into me, but I keep going.
"The very same person that's in that video, tied me to the toilet in our en-suite bathroom for two days. He gagged me, he beat me, and then he proceeded to do to me, exactly what's about to happen to the girl in that video."
"She's a fucking liar!," Jamie yells across the room, letting his veil slip. He makes a foolish attempt to move towards me, but his father is quick to hold him back and force him to control himself.
"It's hard to lie about it when you left your mark all over my face Jamie," I spit.
The emotion of being in the same room as him is had to describe, this is bringing up so much for me, but I force myself to speak to the people in the room one more time.
"This isn't the first time that Jamie has done something like this," I tell them, "and if I hadn't of gotten away, it wouldn't have been the last. This is the man that you all want to take over this company."
Jamie looks toward Tom, at a loss for what to do infront of all these people, but Tom himself isn't too much better.
Simon takes things over again thankfully, letting me fade into the backround. I don't have anymore gas in the tank for this overly public meeting.
"I think out of respect for everyone in the room," he says, "and the young lady in the video, it would be better if I don't play the rest of it. What I can tell you, is that Jamie goes on to assault her. On tape. I know because I saw it, he sent it to both myself and Karl because he wanted to brag about it. Karl here tried to tell Jamie just how out of control he was, and when he did, Jamie not only fired him, but he pinned the whole thing on him too."
Someone from the back fires a question Simon's way.
"Well what about you? Why didn't you say anything?"
His gaze falls to the floor, he's ashamed of himself, and rightly so, Simon certainly isn't innocent in this.
"Jamie payed me off with a cushy salary and a promotion to stay quiet," he admits. "I told him I'd deleted the video, but I hadn't. None of this even comes close to being my proudest moment, but it's what happened, and now I'm here to try and rectify it."
Just then, security hastily arrives to the door, much to Toms relief.
"I want them out of here," he says, pointing his finger at us. "Right now!"
The older gentleman glances around at the total spectacle this has become, shaking his head in annoyance. Putting his hand up, he stops everyone in their tracks.
"Wait! Hold on a second," his voice booms. He points over at Karl, Simon and I. "You three, stay right where you are." He casts his eyes over the room, making a decision. "Tom, Jamie, Helene and myself will be staying, everybody else, I want you out of here. Gretchen, can you get someone from legal up here too please."
"Edward, what are you doing?" Tom asks. "Let security get rid of these people, they're only here to cause trouble."
Tom desperately tries to hold onto any kind of control, but it seems this guy Edward wants to hear us out.
"Join us Tom," he says, "or leave. I don't care which."
There's a bit of a staring contest between them for a moment before Tom concedes. As people file out, one of the women that's been told to vacate the room stops in front of me.
"I remember you," she says, "I saw you at the launch party with Jamie. Is it really true?"
Both of us glance Jamies direction, if he could kill me with just a look, this would be it. That alone answers her question. She grimaces in disgust before stomping off out the door.
Once everybody else has left, Edward gestures for those of us that remain to take a seat. Jamie, Tom, Edward himself and whoever this lady Helene is sit on one side of the table. Karl, Simon and I on the other. I place myself right in the middle of them, directly facing Jamie. He's going to have to look right at me when he lies.
The blurry video sits paused up on the screen at the top of the room. I squint my eyes, noticing something I hadn't before. I quietly whisper the information to Karl, it could be our smoking gun.
As the door closes, someone rushes into the room, confused and clutching a bunch of papers. I assume that she's from legal as Edward requested. Shes young, younger than me for sure. I bet this is a moment in her career that she won't forget.
Edward seems to hold all of the authority among Jamies side of the room, so he starts first.
"Okay," he says, "we're all seated, let's talk. That was quite a show you three put on, but what's the purpose of it? What do you want?"
This is Simon's area yet again. He's got everything ready. He slides the paperwork across the table to Tom and Edward, they all crowd around it trying to get the details.
"That's what we want," Simon says. "If you want this footage to stay hidden, you need to make it happen."
"Absolutely fucking not!" Jamie spits as he pushes the paper away from him without so much as reading it. "This is ridiculous! Why are we even entertaining this Eddie? What have they got here? Some video in some random bathroom? That means nothing!"
Simon decides to veer off course and hits play again, forcing everyone to watch what happens next. I keep my eyes on Jamie, watching the corners of his mouth twitch as he tries to suppress a smile, taunting me like the scumbag that he is.
Helene can't look either. Honestly, I don't know who she is, or why she was kept in here, but when I notice her sensitivity to what's on the screen, it rattles me, and I ask Simon to stop the video. There's barely a woman out there who hasn't been touched by sexual violence in some way, so I'm not about to force her to sit here and watch it as part of her job.
"A random bathroom? Is that what you called it Jamie?" Simon seems onto something here. "If you ask me," he says, "it looks a whole lot like the ones in this building don't you think?"
Jamie scoffs, sitting back in his chair and refusing to engage any further.
Tom and Edward eyeball each other as they read through the points Simon has written down. It's like they're silently communicating. Once they've read through all of it, Tom pauses, drumming his fingers on the table. It's the same trick Jamies uses to make people uncomfortable.
"So, Simon," Tom says, seeming disappointed, like he may have actually liked him at one point. "You want an immediate release from your contract, with next years bonus paid in full and the salary? You know we can't do that."
"I'm sure you'll figure it out," Simon replies, "just like you did with my promotion. Call it severance Tom."
"I call it blackmail!"
"I don't know how professional that sounds, but whatever works for you is fine. But that's what it's going to take for me to keep that video unreleased."
"Simon be reasonable here," Tom says, "you're going to have to meet me in the middle."
Jamie butts in, horrified that this is becoming a negotiation.
"Dad what are you doing?" he asks, "You don't need to give him anything, theres absolutely no proof that's me!"
Karl takes the remote from Simon, moving the time of the video back a little bit and bringing up the shot I pointed out to him when we sat down. He keeps it paused as everyone looks on.
"I like your watch Jamie," he says. " Did Izzy get that for you?"
The first time I saw the video, it was so fleeting that I never noticed the watch at all. Only a tiny bit of it shows on the bottom right hand corner of the screen. The strap isn't all that common though, it's a deep brown leather with mustard coloured stitching. I know because I spent weeks searching for it for him. It's right there on the screen, and it just so happens to be the one he's wearing right now.
Karl's strap is metal.
It's only a tiny scrap of evidence, but it's enough to make Jamie sweat.
"That's... no, hundreds of people have this watch," he fumbles, "this is absurd! Dad honestly what are we even doing here?"
Jamie stands, preparing to leave until Tom finally snaps.
"James! Sit down and stop acting like a spoilt brat! It's your fault that we're here at all."
Jamies mouth drops open, looks like his father is finally out of patience. It also looks like they're starting to realise that this whole thing wont be going their way.
Tom moves his attention on, aware that he has no room for negotiations with Simon anymore. Karl is next.
"One hundred thousand dollars Karl," he says, "really?"
Karl shrugs his shoulders. "I figure if that's what you were claiming I got, then that's what I deserve."
Tom pinches the bridge of his nose, he's not used to giving in so easily.
"And what do we get out of that Karl?" he questions. "All I'm seeing here is that you don't release the video, that's not a whole lot of assurance from you or Simon. I want it destroyed."
"Can't do that, sorry," Karl says.
"Why not?"
"Izzy has her conditions too."
Tom and Edward quickly look over the paperwork again, coming up short.
"Theres nothing on there about her?," Tom says.
He really is doing his best to make it look like I'm nothing at all to him. How easily he strayed from wanting me to marry his son, to now making it seem like he doesn't know me as much more than some girl that spent time in Jamies bed.
I speak up for myself again, loud and clear.
"That's because I'm not signing anything Tom," I tell him, "Simon and Karl are willing to, but I'm not."
He tuts in my direction, like he's tired of me already. "What is it you want then? How much?"
How much. It's always the same song with him.
"I don't want your money," I say. "I want an agreement, from Jamie."
Tom glances to Edward, there's that silent communication again. "...Go on," he says.
I stare directly at Jamie. He needs to hear this more than anyone. And I want to make sure that he fully understands exactly what I can do to him if he doesn't agree.
"You won't ever get to touch me again," I say. "You can't call me, you can't email, message, carrier pigeon, whatever. I want zero contact. I don't want to see you, I don't want to hear from you. You can't talk to my family or to my friends, you stay away indefinitely or that video is released and I talk."
Tom frowns at me, double checking the papers in front of him. "Why not put that on paper Izzy? Make it official?"
"Because I don't want some loophole appearing for either of you," I say, "If I so much as get a whiff of him, if he ever comes near me or Will again, I won't be waiting to check any conditions or negotiate, I'll put that footage out there immediately without so much as a second thought. I won't be letting a piece of paper dictate if I can or can't do that."
Jamie was trying to appear uninterested up until the point where I mentioned Will. That triggered something in him for sure, I can tell by the twitching of his fingertips, it's like he's just itching to use his hands. Even with that, he still tries to get under my skin.
"I don't understand any of this Iz," he says, "because I've never touched you."
I could bite, I could argue with all of the evidence on my body right now, but that wouldn't be enough.
"No?," I ask. "That's funny, the years of photographs that I kept might argue with that. The receptionist from the hotel I stayed at might too. Or the colleague you attacked in front of students where I worked. The friends who saw the things you did, my family. Even the doctor that had to supply me with the morning after pill at the hospital last week might."
I notice Helene close her eyes as I share that last part, bringing her hand to her face to hide her shock.
I'm bluffing of course, and Jamie knows it. But that doesn't matter, because it's not him I'm trying to convince. It's those around him. In here we have a level playing field, I only need to be better at lying than Jamie to convince these people that their company is at risk, that's the game we're playing.
Tom turns toward Jamie, he's seen his handy work himself, he even tried to make it go away once. But it's different now, because it's not Jamie he's concerned about, it's his business.
I knew that Tom would always protect Jamie, just like Will said a father should, unless of course, it meant that he's be putting his company in jeopardy. Then Jamie would be just like his sisters before him. Expendable.
Jamie watches me with this smug expression on his face that I'd give anything to slap off, but I hold firm, needing everyone here to believe I could ruin this place.
The girl from legal scribbles something on a piece of paper, handing it to Tom. They all read it over, nodding between them before Tom addresses us all again.
"Alright," he says, "here's what we can do. I can sign off on what Karl and Simon want, but Izzy, it would be impossible to have any kind of framework drawn up with what you're asking. There's too many questions of what would qualify as contact, you couldn't possibly be included in any of the legal stuff, espically if you won't even sign it."
"That's fine by me," I tell him, "you'll just have to take me at my word that I won't do anything as long as he stays away. But just so we're clear, we are not the only people in possession of that video, so if I were to fall off the face of the earth somehow, it would be out there in minutes."
Tom, Edward, Helene and the girl from legal lean in together, ousting Jamie. I knew this part would be hard, but I also knew we'd have the upper hand. Their choices are to separate themselves entirely from Jamie when we make this public, which wont work because the company would still be implicated, or they can take the deal we're offering as it stands. There's a lot of grey areas and it's a lot of money, but it's money they have.
When I spoke to Karl at first last week, I had to do some serious convincing to make him want to go down this route and not go ahead and release the video himself. He talked to Rosemary about it, I didn't think there was any real hope considering he had told me he didn't want their money before, but it seems things had changed for him. Rosemary is expecting, and she wants to be closer to her mom when the baby comes, so they're going to need the money to put towards a home and giving the baby the best start they can.
I know he wanted his name cleared, but he said that as long as Rosemary knows the truth, that was the most important thing. It helped that she pointed out to him that the girl in the video was entitled to her privacy too, and if you ask me, I think that's what really swayed him.
Simon of course was all for it. He was leaving anyway, and the fact he was complicit in some of it wouldn't look good for him, so all of this was simply an added bonus.
Edward leans back in his chair, surveying the three of us when they finish their chat. He gives Tom a moment to pull Jamie aside. It's heated, very heated. There's some pointing in my direction and I'm nearly sure I hear Jamie call me a liar again, it takes everything I have not to pull him up on it, but in the end I hear exactly what I expected Tom to say.
"It's you or the company James, I'm not risking everything because of your stupidity."
Tom walks away from him, taking a seat back at the table and nodding his head toward Edward and Helene. Jamie paces behind them, huffing away. He really thought he was going to get away with everything.
Edward directs the girl from legal to go and get the agreement typed up, but Simon stops her.
"Actually, there was one more thing we wanted," he says, and then he slides the final piece of paper across the table.
This one was all Karl's idea. He pointed out that our conditions didn't really affect Jamie much, other than the fact that he couldn't contact me. Outside that he wouldn't pay for any of it. So he came up with this.
It stipulates that Jamie will never be able to run Reynolds Group without the footage being released. Karl detailed it so that he will never be promoted above his current status, he will never have the opportunity to run the company in lieu of his father, or in the case of Toms retirement or death.
That leaves Jamie right where he is, at the ripe old age of twenty seven. He can leave of course, but nepotism won't follow him, and he's going to owe his father big time for all of this.
Everyone leans over the paper work, reading and shaking their heads, even Jamie. There's some protests like we expected, Toms being the loudest.
"There's no way I'm agreeing to that! It's not happening."
Edward surprises me by agreeing with him, I'm starting to worry we won't be able to pull it off until Helene finally makes her voice heard. She glances down at the paper again.
"Done," she says.
We all stare at her in surprise.
"Helene?" Jamie looks genuinely hurt. This is the one certainty he still had in life and we're about to take it away.
"Just be glad I'm not looking for your resignation Jamie," she says. "If I had my way, that's exactly what it would be, and it would be the very least you deserve too."
She then turns to the girl from the legal team. "Charlene, get all of that typed up asap, I want to get it signed and get these people out of here."
Both Tom and Edward are preparing to argue, but she cuts them off before they even get a chance.
"Take one look at that girls face and tell me that's really the man you want running this company?"
They both look me over, remaining silent.
"Exactly what I thought," she says definitively, "we'll find an alternative."
For someone that stayed so quiet, she sure has a hold on people when she speaks.
The room empties of everyone except Karl, Simon and I as they leave us alone to wait for the contracts. The excitement among us is childlike. We did it, we got exactly what we all wanted, and I don't feel bad about a single thing.
When Charlene comes back a good hour later, Karl and Simon quietly read over the terms before signing, both happy with the outcome.
As we all leave, Jamie catches my eye in the corridor. I thought he'd be angry, but his shoulders are slack, his dull eyes making him look sad. A while ago that would have been enough for me to change my mind about all of this.
"Iz," he says. "Can't we just talk all of this out?"
This is it, he wants to see if he can still manipulate me. He wants to know if he can still control the situation by making me feel like I'm the one that's wrong, but I don't feel that way. All I feel is relieved that this is really the last time I'll ever have to see him.
And I make sure he knows it.
"All of the mind games you played are over Jamie. All of the tricks you had up your sleeve, all of the times you had the upper hand, they're done. I won't ever fall for your lies again. I am not afraid of you anymore. After today, you are nothing to me... You lose Jamie."