Hello, my name is Kj.

Before we start I want to apologize for my bad grammar and maybe you find a wrong spelling or my English little bit mess I'm sorry. Since I write and post this right away so I hope you guys forgive me for the little mistakes I made for the whole novel. 🫶🏻

Also I don't set a date for my next update, since I have to training and do other stuff to, but I'll definitely make sure to update at least every Friday or in my free time. I also want told you about this story, this story based on my own life and people surrounding me. What life has taught me and everyone else.

*And I make it clear that all characters names where they live and work all are fake and not real*

"I express better by writing them"

I don't know I should write this or not but I want to wrote something since my heart can't handle all this feelings anymore feeling and have no one to squeeze out all this stuff, I mean I have couple of people I know I can depend on. It's just I want to let it out all without getting caught up by guilty, cause what am I going to say might hurt some people.

Also I found this app from my late mother, she says "Why don't you try this app, K. Since you like writing." And I say. "Yes, of course ma." But it's already six years since that day and now I just open back my mother's old account, she loves to reading more than writing, she been reading a lot in different kind of apps this one is just one of hers, I thought why not use this account to writing.

I remember when I was younger I always writes something for her like a letters because I can't say anything what I want truly to say, and sometimes people misunderstand me because I couldn't speak for myself, and just let it be like that, so she told me.

"You're good at gossiping and super loud when talk but when comes to what you truly feel you just shut down immediately. If you cannot tell me what is inside your heart. What you feel or think, then write it down for me, make it like a poetry or maybe letters for me. Everything that you want to say but can't say by the mouth. Write down the words, and I'll be happy to read them cause it's from your heart who speak honestly for you."

And I started to write her a letter and she will sit on her brown chair outside of her balcony and read my letters. I remember she always criticize my hand writing and sometimes I misspelled the words and she be like.

"Baby girl, your English is stuck."

"Practice your grammar, K. I can't even read this." Yet she still finish read it all night.

I'm not writing this story for popularity or some attention, I just want to share a life lesson with people who have been through a difficult time and sometimes life put them through some depression and anxiety life, makes them feel alone and lonely and sad, especially when they lost one and only person who could feel them better than anyone else.

My ma always say this. "Everybody wants happiness in life and nobody wants the pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain."

*What inspired me to do this novel?*

My Mama was the one who inspired me and taught me to be myself and never limits my abilities to be whatever I want to be. She always remind us. "Don't limit yourself to do only one thing, don't limit your acknowledging and understanding, if you don't know then learn, learn everything so you can do better in life."

So here we are, I started to write again after two years. I think my writing has been very slow and sometimes I made mistakes, so please forgive me for the mistakes I made in this stories, my grammar or spelling or others things, and I would love if you guys could help me out with comments the mistakes😫🫶🏻

*To my dear mama, I hope you won't get mad at me for sharing this little story, since you gone nobody in this house want to read my stories anymore, since nobody love reading as much as you do, mama.*