Its been three days and I'm not proud to say I've jerked off to the thought of Mal doing bad things to me more times than I can count. Its like anytime my thoughts wander to Malachi, I get horny. And usually, I'd just tell the person that I've got the hots for her and see how things go, aside from that, I've never been attracted to any girl with this intensity before. Its like there was a veil over my eyes before and now I can see and feel clearly.
I want to tell him, but I'm worried he doesn't feel the same and I'll be rejected. I don't want to be rejected. And I know that I'd beg him for a chance if he rejects me. With the way I'm feeling, I'd go down on my knees and be willing to do anything he says.
God, I'm fucked.
Maybe I should invite him to my place and see if I can scope out his feelings towards me. With that in mind, I find his number and sent him a quick text.
Hey Mal, I want to invite you over to my place today. I don't know if you will be available.
I hit send.
Few minutes later, after tension has almost shortened my life span, he replies.
I'm sorry, I won't be available.
Okay, that hurt. He didn't even give me a reason. Maybe he doesn't want to come to my house. It's not as if he knows me that well. I'm ashamed to say that if he were the one that invited me over, I'd have been there in the blink of an eye.
What is even keeping him busy anyway, its weekday, and I doubt he is still at work. I check the time, few minutes past nine it reads. What can be ke-
Oh shit. He must be on a date right now. Or getting ready for one.
The thought has my gut almost expelling from my mouth. No.
Before I could stop myself, I text.
Why? Are you on a date?
He doesn't reply. Not now, not two hours time when I'm fuming and restless on the bed. He doesn't fucking reply, Probably because he's fucking a girl or even a boy right now. Its only self-control that is keeping me from calling his line nonstop. Even if he doesn't pick up, the constant ringing might distract them enough to piss his partner off.
No, I can't do that. It will make also make Mal to be mad at me. For real this time.
Feeling confused on what to do, I throw the pillows on the floor in anger, jump down from the bed, rip the sheets of the bed and threw them on the floor.
Yes I'm acting crazy, I know it. What normal person gets jealous when someone they've not told they like goes on a date with someone else. Its pure lunacy but I don't care one bit.
My phone beeps and I rush to pick it up. It's a message and its not from Mal. Its from mom. I'm disappointed.
Hey son, I hope you're doing well. The event is scheduled for this week Saturday and please make sure you're present. Your dad has a surprise for you if you come. Only if you come.
A surprise? That calms me a bit. Only a bit. What could it be? This is the first time my parents have attached a reward to a request of this nature. They usually didn't mind if I go or not. Probably because they're worried that I might cause drama or beat somebody up.
Since I'm a glutton for surprises, I decide I'm going to go to the event. I hope the surprise is rewarding enough though. I wouldn't want to waste my time. It makes me misbehave more.
I think I need to work out what to do with myself and Malachi. I need to tell him how I feel and deal with whatever the outcome is. I can't keep feeling like this. I can't keep wondering what he's doing with anybody I see him with. Its driving me nuts.
I decided to leave it be today. Tomorrow, I'll try to reach him so we can meet up. Yes, that's what I'll do. Right now, I just need a way to let out all this jealousy and tension so I can sleep.
With a clear head ill be able to talk and act better tomorrow.
No, sleeping did not work. It's morning and I called his number several times, he did not pick up. Now my day is officially ruined. It's the little self preservation I have left that prevents me from texting him to please pick my call.
I refuse to hurt myself again this morning. I fling my phone to somewhere on the bed and get up to get ready for work. He'll call me when he sees my call.
It's been two days since that day, he still hasn't called or texted. I've heard nothing from him. I'll be a big liar if I say I'm not hurt by that. Why the hell is he even avoiding me? Does he find me that repulsive?
I walk to full length mirror in my walk in closet. I've never doubted my looks, never been insecure about myself. But today I cant help but wonder what is so upsetting about me that makes him act like I don't exist.
I peruse my feature, my hair currently in a bun, my light brown completion, the silver studs on both my ears. What could it be that he doesn't like about me. I'm neither too tall, nor too muscular. I'm pretty much average in my body size.
I sigh out in frustration. What do I do? I'm going insane over here and its just a fucking crush. Well, I guess I can get ready to go to that dumb event my parents are hosting in town.
Maybe I should just sit at home.
No, I won't.
I need to go so I can see what my dad is on about. And maybe my mood might even lighten, who knows.
I hastily prepare myself since I'm already thirty minutes late. I couldn't even dress up as I usually did when going out. I just threw on a black T-shirt, ash jean and a black jacket on top, paired with some snickers. This is the best I could come up with in my shitty mood.
I bet my mom will flip if she sees me.
I grab my sunglasses and rush out the door.
I get to the place quicker than I expected, the place is filled up. There are all types of cars parked outside, I hardly can see and open space for me to park.
I almost give up until I see someone rushing out of the building toward a car. I wait with baited breath and hope the man is about to drive out not to pick up something from his car.
Thankfully, he drives out so I quickly take up his space. If he comes back that's now his problem.
After parking, I get out of my car and head straight into the building. Immediately I walk in, a young guy like myself comes up to me dressed in security clothes.
"good morning sir, your mother asked me to direct you to their table."
I nod and follow him as he directs me to where I believe my parents are seated. I look around the place. There are people of different social standing present here. minister of health, head of women affairs, youth leaders and other faces I recognize and those I know but can't remember what they do. I see some of my mom's friends too, seated with all their elaborate looking attires.
"Tobi!" my mom whisper yells when I got to our table. "what in Christ name are you wearing." She looks short of words. "you're a fashion designer for Christ sake. Why did you come looking like you're going to a club."
I pull out a chair and sat down. "hi mom, hi dad." I say because I'm not in the mood for her complaints today. I see my dad nudge my mom with his elbow and she stops. But I can tell she has more to say. I dint care though. I'm here for one thing and one thin-
My eye spots him. Someone I didn't think I will see in a place like this. Someone who has been ignoring my calls and texts for over three days. Someone who I'm undoubtedly attracted to.
Malachi.