'So... How should I address you from now on?
[Just call me 'Milia' or you can call me 'Truthseeker'... 'System' is fine too.]
'I see, Than I'll call you Milia from now on... Is that fine with you?'
[I'm fine with whatever you call me. Names don't mean much to me anymore.]
'i see, Milia it is... It's nice to meet you Milia.'
[Same here Master.]
'Woah, Woah... Slow down there... What do you mean 'master?' I'm just a mere mortal and you are a Goddess...
You shouldn't go around calling undeserving People 'Master'.
[I see, You people really are peculiar... Than what shall I call you?]
'Revan Is fine.'
[Than I'll be calling you Revan from now on.]
'Glad to hear it.'
And so the conversation wraps up and in the end I didn't get a solution to my problem.
What do I do now? It sure as hell ain't easy to get 200000 points which is equal to around 200 Gold coins.
Which is equal to 20000 Silver coins and 1 Lakh 40 Thousand Bronze Coins...
I'll really need to Save up.
I'll need to make a savings Section, A weapon section, A supplementary Additional Support section and many more..
Why does it feel like with an increase in salary my expenditure has also increased?
What a pain...
I have atleast made progress into My stats.
I have used 10 Stat points on Strength.
And the remaining 45 were divided With 20 Into Intelligence, 15 Into sense and 10 Into agility.
After Putting my stats into Intelligence, It went from 7 - 27 and it appears, that whenever my stats go over 20 I'll get a new skill...
And, Luckily I got skills for Intelligence and Sense.
For the intelligence stat I got Mund acceleration which is apparently a C rank skill...
And for Sense I got the Perception Eagle Eye skill.
This skill allows me to see things and perceive/read them...
Simply put, It's a skill that allows me to read my opponent's Movements.
I'm quite glad I got this skill because with this, I can Use my Bullets with better precision and they won't get Destroyed.
Also, It appears that whenever my stats goes up by 20 I get a new skill and the skill that I already have will be upgraded to the next level.
Which is quite the bumper offer considering how Important Skills really are...
Meaning, I'll get a skill at 20, and than 40 and than 60 and than 80 and than Hundred.
At 20 I get a C rank skill, At 40 - A Rank,
60 - S, 80 - Ss Rank, and 100 - SSS Rank.
Also, The skill system will only unlock once I reach above C rank.
So that's why, I was never able to see a skill Section until Now.
I was wondering how I missed something like that...
It took a while for the system to reevaluate my Stats and apparently as I expected I am a C ranked Individual.
That makes me so fkin happy, Words just can't describe it..
I feel like... I finally have some worth in me. All this time, I've been training non stop making no progress,
Imagining being Close to the person I love only to realise it was all just My imagination.
Than I had to give up on the sword... Which I'd sworn I'd use to protect her from enemies.
Turns out, that too was just a dream and I was working very damn hard to achieve that which never even existed.
Imagine making a promise that even the other party doesn't know about...
I know what kind of a person I am. In stories there's always that guy who is always delusional and imagines being in a relationship with the other girl while stalking her day and night.
Turns out, she doesn't even know who that creepy dude is... That character pretty much describes me.
It's like that character itself was made only to describe this worthless me.
I wish the Confession too was just a dream or hallucination like all the other memories.
That way, I wouldn't have to feel awkward being anywhere close to the women who probably doesn't even know my name.
Ooh, shit... I was back into that weird mode.
Whenever I think about her, I just can't help but think of various things that went wrong.
The bastard of a god, You made everything else a dream except for the most Important part?
Why? Why couldn't I wake up from my own Delusions... It was true that the girl who lived close to my house and was my very neighbour was the very same imperial princess.
The very same person I'd hallucinated various shit about. Atleast I'm self awareness that they were delusions I created because I was infatuated over her.
Her beauty, Her long silky Blonde hair, Those blue eyes... Everything about her down to her very personality was Kind and Caring.
What if... If it weren't me who had those delusions but someone else?
What he weren't the self awareness dude that I am?
Wouldn't be just join the demon army thinking he was betrayed by her or something?
That too over some delusional dream?
That kinda scares me.
I'm glad it was me that had those Imaginary dreams of whatever they were..
Like, What were they anyway... They made no sense... I don't remember much except dragging her around all over the place.
Saving her from bandits and than Us wanishing from one location and going to another...
What kind of a place was it? I don't remember it at all.
That right there is enough evidence to say that those were all just dreams.
While I might still have very deep emotions for her, they probably won't go away for a while.
Childhood love really is a pain in the ass isn't it...
I'm so delusional that sometimes I think she's probably trying to protect me from possible Assassins who are targeting me because they hold a grudge.
But, I know... That's what they call 'Coping mechanism.'
You think of worthless Non existant Scenarios to make yourself feel better.
But, In all honesty... I actually want to talk to her and apologise until the day she forgives me.
But, the worst part of it was that we weren't at all close... And the fact that all those Memories I had were just Delusions I created because of the live I had for her.
So, What's the point of apologising... She wasn't disgusted by my confession or her 'Trust' for me wasn't tarnished by the confession I made.
In all honesty if I risked my life so many times to protect her... She should have known I liked her.
It wouldn't come as that much of a surprise for her to Make such a disgusted expression.
So, She wasn't disgusted because I broke her trust. She was disgusted by My confession Itself.
Meaning, she probably never really had a positive Impression of me as a child.
Considering all the delusions and everything, I probably was acting disgustfully.
So... The moment she heard my confession, Her disgust for me piqued.
I alone am to blame.
And the more I think about certain instances that made me think she liked me the more I realised they were nothing but dreams and delusions I had because I loved and cherished her so much.
I'd still give my life away if it were for her.
Afterall, It was her and Her family that saved my My mother from a crowd of bandits and saved my life.
And that was the thanks I gave her.
So, I can only hope that she has a positive impression of me after I save her life and die in the process.
But before that...
I'll need to Save up as much money as I can for my mother and sister to survive.
Tho, I suppose they don't really need me since my sister is quite popular as a 2nd year in the Academy.
She'll probably take care of my mother well.
But, the real problem would be whoever ends up with my sister.
Would he be willing to take her with them or would they just abandon her?
I hope they take her in...
Because, Every second in this world feels suffocative for me.
A world where she's not by my side feels so empty
But I'm sure I won't be staying here for long though.
The day I realise that I'm not needed by either my mother nor By Serina is probably the day I take my final breath.
And I'm pretty sure it's closer than I think.
Especially considering the fact that There's that Dude, who's been very Close to Serian. They are probably all but official.
I can only hope my sister gets more popular gets married and rids my mother of her suffering and looks after her for all that she's done for us after father died.
Than I can finally Rid myself of this worthless life.
And I hope I get reborn somewhere where people love me and I don't live such a worthless, uneventful, non existant life.