*Lucien*
When I saw the kids, I was nervous. I am never nervous, but I was. I knew they would have questions, and I wondered if I'll ever be a good father. I also wondered if maybe, they are better off without me. When I decided to leave, I found myself going to a pastry shop instead. I bought some junk for the twins hoping they'll like it.
I was sweating, and had removed my suit jacket, and folded my shirt. I was very nervous.
On the way, I called my mother and sister and told them that they should give me a little time before they see the kids. I told them that they had to get a little bit used to me because they seemed slightly overwhelmed when they heard that I am their dad.
I know that I can't fully make them understand since they are young, but I wish I didn't miss that much time. I sigh and continue fidgeting then I ring their doorbell. Ama is shocked to see me, and so am I. I planned to hightail and calm down then come back later, but I couldn't. I was already absent for almost five years of their lives. Why will I run away again just because I don't know what to say to them? Why will I run away just because I'm scared they won't love me?
I walk and finally enter. I can see the evident shock on the face of Genevieve. I guess she didn't think I'll be back. I didn't think I'll be back too.
I introduce myself to the kids, and they take the treats offered after looking at their mother for permission. I was pleased with how well trained they are, but I was saddened at how my kids could not take anything from me without asking. It hurt me, but it was evident that I had my work cut out for me. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy task, but it had to be done.
The kids keep on looking at me curiously, and Genevieve says, "Kids, introduce yourselves."
George comes forward and says, "Hi, I'm George. I am 4 years old and I'm older than Gigi." He says referring to his sister.
Gianna or Gigi's appears annoyed, and she replies, "No you are not. Mummy said we are both four. So you are not older!"
They keep on bickering forgetting that both Genevieve and I are here, and it's a wholesome thing to watch. The way they both argue tells me that they butt heads often. I guess that is common for siblings.
Genevieve looks like it's a daily occurrence. She rolls her eyes, and says, "George Lucian Evans and Gianna Leilani Evans, no paw patrol for you if your bickering continues."
At that, they both stop after poking their tongues at each other. I smile at that because it reminded me of my sister and I although, we were not twins. Thank God.
Genevieve tells the kids that they can take their ice-cream because she wants to talk to me. They both nod while digging into it. They both say, "Bye sir," at me and I reply, "bye."
When Genevieve and I leave the room, she says, "You came back."
"That I did," I reply.
"Why?"
I shrug in reply, and she says, "Well, I'm happy you came back." I don't reply to that, and she says, "You seem calmer now."
I say nothing because I am still angry. "I know it is not easy for you especially because of the way you found out, but I want you to know that I am sorry. Yes, there were other ways I would have told you, but I was angry and embarrassed. I hated the way you threw me out and ruined my career for a bit. I hated the way you disregarded everything, and didn't trust me. I was selfish, I admit, but I was also scared. With the way you were, I could not tell what you would have done. My greatest regret is not telling Lainey," she says referring to my mum.
"I know you have missed four years, but I guide you through. They are still young so, you will just have to exercise minimal patience. They will come around. They are still kids," she says referring to our children.
I clear my throat. "I will like to know more about them. It does not have to be today, but I want to know their likes and dislikes. My mother wants to meet them, and I'm sure you understand that. Not only will she want to see her grandchildren, but they are her first."
She nods. "I understand. Give them a little time to get used to the fact that you are their dad, and then Elaine and Leah can meet them," she reasons.
I think about it as if I had not already told my mum to give the kids a little time. I then say, "I'll think about it." She nods and replies, "Thank you."
I say nothing. "I better get going," I say.
She nods. "Just come and see the kids and say goodbye. I think the thought hasn't really sunk in their minds that you are their dad seeing as they had never seen you before. I hope you can understand. With time, they will open up to you. I know you are not pleased or happy, but you will need to exercise patience."
I give her a blank stare and nod. It makes her sigh.
"George, Gianna, come and say goodbye to your father."
The term father makes me flinch. I really am a father right now.
I did not know I was a father two days ago.
They both come, and I say, "Goodbye, I'll see you tomorrow."
They shyly say goodbye to me.
I sigh loudly when I'm in my car, and I tell my driver to take me to my apartment.
In my apartment, I lay on my bed thinking about how I'll be a good dad when I never wanted to one.