warning: signs of violence, sexual assault, suicidal thoughts
Irony has officially become my worst enemy. Paradox. Karma. Whatever cosmic joke was in play, my whole life had been one endless loop of dullness, fear, and anxiety.
But right now? I couldn't care less.
Because when someone punches you in the stomach, stealing the breath from your lungs and leaving pain ricocheting through your ribs, the last thing on your mind is bitter-sweet life philosophy.
It fucking hurts.
I groaned, clutching my abdomen as I stumbled back, my body slamming into the cold, unforgiving wall. The same wall that damn vampire was thrown against just a week ago.
The irony wasn't lost on me. But I didn't have the energy to appreciate it.
"You dimwit," Coryn sneered, his voice dripping with malice as he stepped closer. Meanwhile, his underlings pinned me down, pressing me against the icy floor. His smirk curled with sadistic satisfaction, the kind of look only bullies like him could pull off. "What's the deal, huh? Playing lapdog to that freak?"
I tried to push myself up, but one of his lackeys shoved me back down, his knee digging into my chest, robbing me of air. My mind raced. What the hell did I even do? Why now? Why me?
Lapdog?
Oh.
Fuck.
They meant him. That annoying vampire who'd been trailing me all week, calling me "little princess" with that smug grin. I hadn't asked for any of it. All I did was tolerate him because he fed me. Food I desperately needed to avoid starving. Was that something to be beaten for?!
But trying to understand these idiots was pointless. They didn't have brains—just decomposing worms squirming in their skulls.
"Stay down," the lackey growled, his face too close for comfort. The stench of his breath made my stomach churn.
Coryn crouched down, his eyes gleaming with cruel amusement. "Or maybe," he said, his voice slow and deliberate, "you're not his dog at all. Maybe you're his whore."
My stomach twisted, not from the pain this time, but from the venom in his words.
"Are you giving him your filthy little hole to play with, huh?" he spat, disgust dripping from his tone. "Is that why he follows you around like some lovesick dog? You letting him sniff you out, princess?"
The others erupted into laughter, their cruel jeers echoing down the empty hallway like a chorus of jackals.
I clenched my fists, my whole body trembling—not with fear, but with rage. Humiliation burned hot in my chest, and my throat tightened as their words sank deeper, each one sharper than the last blow.
Through the haze of pain, a smirk tugged at my lips. I spit—a mix of blood and saliva—right into Coryn's smug face.
His expression froze, shock flashing in his eyes.
"Asshole," I rasped, my voice hoarse but defiant. "Are you jealous or something? Picking on me instead of him? You scared of—"
I didn't get to finish.
Another fist slammed into my face, snapping my head back against the floor with a sickening thud. Stars burst in my vision, and for a fleeting second, I thought I might actually black out.
Oh, my fairy. I don't want to die.
Did I say I wasn't scared? Scratch that—I was fucking horrified.
"Shut the fuck up, bitch!" Coryn roared, his face twisted with rage. He grabbed the front of my shirt, yanking me up so hard it felt like my ribs might crack. His sneer returned, uglier than ever.
"I wonder," he mused, his voice mocking as he tilted his head, "what your little boyfriend would do if he saw you like this. You think he'd still stick around? Or maybe he'd finally see you for what you are—a pathetic little sissy, crying like a baby, trying to act tough but crumbling the second someone lays a finger on you."
I bit down on my lip, hard enough to taste blood, willing the tears in my eyes not to fall. But his grip hurt. My chest burned, and my stomach throbbed from the endless blows.
Coryn's grin widened when he saw my tears spill over. "Aw, look at that," he cooed mockingly. "So fragile. So breakable." He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a venomous whisper. "Honestly? I kinda get why he looks at you the way he does. Guess even someone like him can't resist a sniveling little doll like you."
His words cut deeper than any punch ever could. I had always been self-conscious about my small height, and I felt embarrassed by my baby-like face. But never—never—had I been ashamed of how I looked. And now, to feel that shame because of someone like Coryn, some smug, cruel jerk? It made my skin crawl.
Why did he have to do this to me? Was it my fault that I looked like this? What could he possibly gain from humiliating me like this? I had been having another normal, miserable day with that insufferable bloodsucker trailing me everywhere. But when I was finally alone, heading to my secret room, they had jumped me.
Beating me without reason. Insulting me without cause.
They beat me. Insulted me. Mocked me. For what? What had I done to deserve this?
Coryn's poisonous smirk widened as he spoke the words that shattered whatever scraps of dignity I had left.
"If you're willing to be his bitch, why not be mine?"
My heart stuttered, my body frozen in place.
Fuck.
I really was just a weak, pathetic sucker. Because if I wasn't, I could've at least tried to fight back. I could've opposed him. Defended myself.
Shit, I thought bitterly. I could've bitten his damn tongue off when he forced it into my mouth!
But I didn't.
He kissed me—or no, it wasn't even a kiss. It was vile, invasive, and excruciatingly degrading.
His lackeys held me firmly in place, their grips bruising, making escape impossible. Meanwhile, Coryn's hand clamped around my jaw like a vice, forcing it open, pinching so hard it felt like my bones might snap. His fingers dug into my skin, holding me still as his mouth devoured mine.
It wasn't just a violation—it was an assault on every part of me. He gobbled at my lips, sucking at my tongue with a sickening greed that made my stomach churn. It was suffocating, disgusting, and utterly dehumanizing.
It was suffocating. Slimy. Like a grotesque, slippery tentacle invading my throat.
I wanted to puke.
Tears streamed down my face, hot and uncontrollable, mixing with the bitter taste of blood and humiliation. My breath was trapped in my chest, choking me as I desperately tried to pull away.
I wanted to die.
I was humiliated. Abused. My real first kiss—the one I'd hoped would mean something—was stolen by garbage like Coryn.
Where are you, you scumbag vampire, when I need you?!
But then, a bitter voice in my head sneered back: How stupid are you, Leif? Why do you trust that bloodsucker so much, when you hate him in reality? Why the hell do you still hope he'll show up and rip these thugs off you?
My foolish, stupid heart.
Oh, holy Fairy Bug, I thought, my tears blurring my vision, why must I have already lost my heart to that freak? He'll only hurt me. Destroy me.
And he wasn't here.
He didn't show up when Coryn licked his teeth, his lips curling into a disgusting grin as he whispered, "So sweet."
He didn't show up when Coryn's hands began pulling at my uniform, his lackeys letting me go just so their ringleader could have full control. They stood back, laughing, jeering, watching the "show" like it was some twisted form of entertainment.
Maybe I would've fought back if I had someone in my life worth fighting for.
But I had no one.
So I lay there. Empty. Tears slid silently down my cheeks, but there was no emotion left in them, just a dull, aching void. My body trembled as Coryn bit me, licked me, stripped me.
Can I just die?
Can I just let everything go and sleep?
For four years, I had survived this hellhole of an academy. Four years of isolation, of guarding my heart, of keeping myself detached and untouchable. I had promised myself I wouldn't trust anyone, wouldn't let anyone get close.
And then he showed up.
I didn't even know his name. He was a stranger. A nuisance.
And yet, like the idiot I was, I had started to like him.
For what?
For this?
To end up like this—broken, humiliated, someone's plaything?
It hurt. Fairy, it hurt so much.
The icy floor bit into my back, sending shivers down my spine, but Coryn's hands were worse. They traced my body like I belonged to him, pinching, tugging, unzipping my pants as if he had every right to claim me.
Their laughter echoed around me, mingling with the disgusting, wet sounds of Coryn's mouth on my skin.
I should've fought.
But it was like every ounce of will, every spark of resistance, had been drained from my body.
I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I couldn't feel.
I was numb.
Somewhere deep inside, a small voice whispered: Don't feel, just sleep, Leif. Sleep. When you wake up, this nightmare will be over.
My consciousness began to slip away, the world fading into a merciful darkness.
But just as the last thread of awareness frayed, I heard it.
Footsteps.
Fast. Heavy. Pounding against the floor like a storm.
And then a voice—a desperate, furious voice yelling my name.
Who?
I didn't know. My body was too far gone, my mind retreating into the safety of the dark.
But for the first time in what felt like hours, I felt something.
A flicker of security. A fleeting sense of relief.
And so I let go, surrendering to the peace of unconsciousness as the world around me disappeared.