Me: Should I do it?
Ari: ...what?
Me: Should I really tell her?
Ari: how do you feel about it? do you want to?
Me: I'm asking because I have no clue, genius.
Ari: you should, if you genuinely think you can handle it and not fall apart when she rejects you. she has a boyfriend. two years now. Miley's not exactly an easy catch. what about me? wouldn't you be interested in me instead? I'd definitely be easier to convince.
I chuckled into my pillow, shaking my head at his ridiculousness. I didn't get where he got that ego from, but his flirting was almost offensively confident.
Me: Sure. But you're not helping. I'm having a crisis here, so stop joking around. I'm serious. I know she has a boyfriend; I know I have zero chance with her, but I'd regret it forever if I never told her.
Ari: then it's settled—tell her. there's nothing more to figure out! and you're not that bad, are you?
Me: Easy for you to say.
Ari: oh no! someone's offended!
Me: Hmpf.
Ari: *laughs* you admit I'm not bad? I'd say I'm quite a catch. aren't I a better option than Miley? handsome, smart, going to make big bucks... what more could you ask for?
Me: A guy.
Ari: oh, come on! I doubt that bothers you that much.
Me: Miley's first.
Ari: first love! *burning heart emoji*
Me: Yep.
Ari: hey, I'd love to give you a pep talk, but I've gotta run. go for it—you'll manage. I'll lend you my shoulder for your sniffles and tears *wink*.
Me: You'll be there?
Ari: of course.
With a sigh, I tossed my phone onto the bed and rolled onto my back to stare at the cracked ceiling. I was so glad I didn't have a roommate in the dorms this year, thanks to an odd number of renters. I wasn't good with people. Never had been. A few from my hometown were here too, but they studied at other campuses, so I was stuck relying on long-distance communication during school days.
And then there was Ari. Out of nowhere, he'd sent me a friend request, despite all my social media accounts being private. No random stranger should've been able to request me, yet it happened. I was a bit scared he'd turn out to be a creep, but he didn't sound like one. We've been chatting for over a year now, and he's become one of the closest people in my life—even though I didn't know his identity. He obviously knew mine. When he told me he went to the same school, I freaked out—what if he spilled all my secrets?
Thankfully, he didn't.
Ari clearly had more secrets than I did. It was impossible to figure out who he was. He'd mentioned we occasionally crossed paths. But there were hundreds of people at school. He was obviously part of the more popular crowd, but there were plenty of those, and I couldn't think of anyone nice enough to strike up a friendship with someone like me. To make fun of me? Sure. But Ari sounded too genuine for that.
I rubbed my nose and dragged myself out of bed to head to the nearby convenience store to grab some instant noodles for dinner. Tomorrow promised another long school day. And a week left until the masquerade ball. I felt like a Cinderella in reverse—a scruffy, unlucky boy confessing to a gorgeous, popular girl, knowing his chances were slim to none after two years of silently admiring her. Was I a fool? It's hopeless! Even Ari didn't believe I stood a chance. He didn't sugarcoat things and outright told me to do it, offering me tissues for my inevitable heartbreak.
I didn't understand him.
Or myself.
I should stop overthinking and study for my tests, then sleep. Which is exactly what I did after dinner. Of course, not forgetting to bid goodnight to all my spider friends in the room so they'd have sweet dreams too.
The next morning, I woke up with dark circles under my eyes, exhausted and on edge. Oh well. This was just how things would be. Because there was nothing to look forward to. I was just a depressed high schooler. My only hope was to leave this school and go to college, where maybe people wouldn't care about me as much. About me being a dirty fag, even though I'd never been with a guy and had never come out. I wasn't even gay—or so I thought. Miley was the only person I'd ever liked. I think. Where did those rumors even come from?
The school was a short bus ride away, thanks to the dorms' location. The courtyard bustled with students and cars pulling up. Gossiping, laughing, sneering. I had no one.
"Hey, fag? How was your weekend? Did someone fuck your ass?" someone shouted near me. I didn't even have to look. Only one person talked like that. Well, two. They were twins.
I clenched my jaw, trying to ignore him, but he spoke up again.
"What? Won't admit the truth? What's it like being the girl in the relationship?"
Ignore him, Tate. Ignore him.
I turned, which was a mistake. Both Allgood twins were grinning like the devils they were. Some people glanced our way but quickly looked away. No one wanted to get involved with them. Mostly because Niall wasn't afraid to use violence, but also because their cousin was the school's golden boy—a scholarship recipient, heading to a top university, and with wealthy parents to boot.
"I wouldn't know—what's it like, Allgood?" I raised an eyebrow. If looks could kill, I'd be arrested for double murder by now. Niall and his sister, who gleefully recorded everything, probably to post it online with a caption like "School fag tries to sound cool" or something equally stupid.
I saw anger flash in Niall's eyes, but just then, a polished retro Chevrolet pulled up, and out stepped the school's prince, Blake, silencing everyone. Especially Niall, who immediately ignored me and hurried off with his sister to join their cousin.
Idiots.
Sometimes, I was ridiculously grateful for Blake's impeccable timing, giving me an opportunity to escape—which I seized instantly.
Just a few more months, and I'd leave all this behind.
Just one more week, and I'd confess to Miley.
I could do this.
note:
I wrote this some time ago - it's originally in czech but Idk what to write so translation isn't that bad either. who wants to read the original (in czech), you can find it on my Wattpad account MiriaPol under the same name "Face to face".