The day has finally come.
"WELCOME TO PHALANX CITY, PHALANX ACADEMY.
PLEASE STATE THE PURPOSE OF YOUR VISIT."
I prepared my nerves before coming here. Mentally braced myself for the hurdles I would need to overcome. The late enrollment, the gun, blood connections—all the criticisms they might throw my way. I had braced myself for all of it.
"For the millionth time, I am a new student, and I do not have an access card. Could you please call someone to pick me up?"
But I could not have prepared for this.
"I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T GET THAT.
ARE YOU A REGISTERED STUDENT?"
"As I said, I am new and was only recently admitted."
"SO, YOU ARE NOT A REGISTERED STUDENT."
"Yes, but that is only because I have not had the chance to register yet!"
"ALL STUDENTS GET THEIR REGISTRATION DONE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE FIRST SEMESTER."
Do I need to leave and come back again? I am getting sick of this. Where is the reset button when you need it?
"ARE YOU A GUEST OR DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL INVITATION?"
"Ugh, no, but the Dean himself approved my application just yesterday. Please, can you just call someone already…"
"YOUR CONSTANT ATTEMPTS AT BYPASSING SECURITY IS AT A SUSPICIOUS LEVEL.
OPERATOR IS BEING NOTIFIED."
Oh, great…
"THIS IS BEING RECORDED. PLEASE STATE YOUR NAME AND CITIZEN I.D. NUMBER."
Even in this world, the answering machines are terrible. Guess not even magic can fix it.
"I REPEAT, PLEASE STATE YOUR NAME AND CITIZEN I.D. NUMBER."
"Rell…"
Just then, a thought hit me.
It was not this robot's fault. It is a goddamn robot. Why am I losing my mind over a product made by, clearly, an incompetent man? If anything, now that I think about it, its life probably sucks.
Stuck in a cubicle all the time. Asking, quite possibly, rude people for their information. Guarding the academy with no holidays, no weekends, not even a pay!
At the end of the day, this robot is doing all the work and not getting anything out of it.
"THIS IS THE LAST WARNING. STATE YOUR NAME AND CITIZEN I.D. NUMBER."
Two appendages came out of the booth, short black metallic sticks, roughly resembling a T-rex's arms. Then, all of a sudden, the right stick glowed blue, and a beam of mana shot at me, forming a rectangular mana structure that confined me.
"Sorry, I am having trouble recalling what my name is at the moment. Mister Robot, I just have a quick question before we start blasting me. What would happen if, let us say, I do not comply—just a hypothetical."
"THEN THE PROPER AUTHORITIES WILL BE CALLED, WHICH WILL LEAD TO AN ARREST."
Say less, my sweet dear. I am sure after this is over, they will send you to robot heaven. Fret not, for I shall release you from your metallic bonds!
"I am ready to announce my name!"
I stood with my back straight and my hands behind it, increasing the vibrato in my voice, summoning the inner opera man within me. With a big breath of air, I announced:
"I am Ger!
Ger Kinoff 247365!"
"UNABLE TO FIND IN REGISTRY. FIRST RESPONSE PINGED.
PACIFICATION PROTOCOL INITIATED."
As soon as the robot finished its statement, a blast of electricity was shot toward me, hitting me squarely in the chest and sending my body into a muscle seizure.
As my body stiffened, I tried controlling my legs to maintain my balance, finding little purchase in doing so. Not to mention, the wracking pain surging throughout my body blurred my thoughts.
But where the body fails, the mind prevails.
And where the mind falters…
"I lied, I am actually Yuma!"
The spirit endures!
"Yuma Veej 800815!"
Another shot, completely making me lose my balance and sending my head slamming against the mana structure.
"My… bad." I persevered through gritted teeth, a smile forming on my face.
"It is Reddy…"
The laughter I had been holding in was unable to be masked by the pain I was feeling, sending a distorted and maniacal voice out of my mouth.
"Reddy Annhal… 696969."
Then another.
"Ahhh! This is… AH! The LAST ONE!"
And then again.
"Jiksu, JIKSU KING!!!"
Again.
It took at least a good minute before people came to the scene. And until then, the cacophonous laughter, grunts, screams, and the rhythmic buzzing of electricity permeated throughout the empty entrance of the academy.
-0-
"You have made quite the entrance."
In front of me sat Dean Gahhan with a holographic projector, playing the recording of me writhing inside the mana structure.
"– Jiksu, JIKSU KING!!! *Bzzzt* Ahhhhh! Hahaha! *Bzzzt* Ahhhh!"
"It seems that just yesterday, I remembered a certain youth who told me I would not regret letting him into the academy. I wonder where he went. Well, what do you make of this, Rell?"
The Dean turned away from the projector and looked at me.
My hair was a tussled mess, my clothes singed in parts, holes littering my blazer—a sharp contrast to how I looked when I first stepped into his office yesterday. Truly an indefensible position, no matter how you looked at it.
But despite all this, well, let us just say I consider myself a driven man.
"What I think? I think that robot, sir, needs replacement. It seems faulty and in need of retirement. It has served for far too long, is what I think. At the very least, it deserves a little break. Maybe we unplug it for, like, a week. What do you say, Dean?"
"I can at least admire your youthful bravado."
The towering man answered, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.
"We've had a rather colorful history when it comes to keeping the academy secure for reasons I need not elaborate. The automatic receptionist is our first line of defense—it does well filtering out hooligans, at the very least. But I do agree that it is very inflexible."
I took offense when he said the word hooligan. But with how I looked at the current moment, I reckon it would be difficult and self-condemning to refute him. So, I kept quiet and rejoiced at the small victory.
Even if they do not outright replace those bots, they might at least reprogram them slightly. Maybe even shut them down for a little while. This is the best I could do for you, my metallic brother.
"I did not want you to stand out too much. A student walking in from the front gates in the middle of the day is too eye-catching. If I had known you would pull something like this, I would have just had you march down the front gates."
"Hmmm, what was I supposed to do then, Dean? I cannot just stand outside for the whole day," I replied politely, the incredulity of the situation oozing out of my words and expression.
"Uh, how about being patient and waiting? You came an hour too early, Mister Zorias. Of course, there would not be anyone there to pick you up. Despite being an academy, this is still a military site adhering to a strict scheduling system. Do not confuse this place with a normal university."
"Oh."
That is all I could say. That actually makes sense. So much sense that it is painful for me to stand here in front of the Dean.
"Sigh, what is done is done. Now you have to live with the consequences of your actions. Congratulations—a number of people around the size of a whole division of trainees have now watched the security footage.
I am sure, with how routine daily life here is at the academy, they will find your antics very entertaining. Do not try to make too many friends."
The Dean gave an amused and knowing smile.
"Also, you will be wearing that… rag… throughout the rest of the day."
He gestured at my clothing, specifically at my blazer.
"You are not to replace a single piece of clothing. Anyone who offers, you will refuse. If I hear anything otherwise, well, you get the idea. The attention you will receive today is enough punishment. Go. Trish is waiting for you outside."
He never said anything about removing it.
Got it.