Who knows about the past, I do.
Eyes red like the sun,
Hair as beautiful as the void,
Back up and look again,
Dreams come fast but don't go.
.....
The threads upon my head grew silver over time. Yet, scenes of a distant past still danced itself tirelessly before me.
Each laughter, each smile, every crow that curved upon your eyes.
Afraid to be forgotten.
It's illusion played with my senses.
I rocked my chair back and forth.
My arms rested on the armchair.
I closed my eyes, to hear the playful symphony. Angels danced upon the harmony like chord to the heavens.
Everyone enjoyed the atmosphere, including myself. Poised in elegance and grandeur. I sipped my wine lightly.
A lavish ball for the pages, a luxury fit for the crown. Lavish food left untouched and the orchestra at play with the most heavenly music. If you could hear it, you will never forget it, they said. But, what I saw there, I could never unsee it.
She was the most vibrant red rose in the ball.
Ruby eyes and silk threads crowned darker than winter nights. My eyes trailed her every bearing. They were mesmerizing.
Before, I knew it.
I was looking at a pair of ruby eyes riddled in confusion, inches from me,wondering why I am blocking her way.
I chuckled in dismay.
Romantic as this sounds. It was utterly embarrassing. I couldn't utter a sound.
My ears flushed red in shame before stammering a sorry as loud as mosquitoes buzz.
She glanced at me, this time her doe eyes clear of confusion and with plain aversion.
She quickly left me in place. Her melodic voice replaying in my ears," it's alright".
She said." It's alright". I sighed at it.
I was giddy. It felt butterflies entering me, doing waltz in my tummy and oh, boy!
Was this feeling not leaving too soon.
They were there to stay.
I was so innocent,so gullible, so young: not knowing the curse, I've placed myself with.
In the name of her.
Yet, more than that, I regretted not showing this side of myself to her.
I should have held her in place right there or at the very least commented,
" You looked so beautiful in that dress".
I didn't care if she'lI think I was a pervert.
All I carried about was,
I wanted a good first impression.
To the most beautiful woman in my land.
....
The king took her hand slowly to the crown prince, presenting her in all her grace and glory to the eyes present. That she as the soon-to- be queen consort of the land.
That was it.
What was more terrifying than a shattered heart?
Something that forgot to breath?
Or, something that forget to beat?
No, it was a heart that felt empty.
An empty heart. Could you imagine it?
....
Years passed by and I'd see her on the streets, school hallways, gatherings and palace halls. Sometimes upon the fleeting neighs would be her family crest, I would stare at her carriage windows for a glimpse and her lazy eyes would go straight past mine, strayed by her inner thoughts.
Faint tints of black would be under her eyes making her look like a mess but she is still beautiful mess.
I knew what she was worried about crows croaked about a lady bird near the prince. Flying higher as the days go by. Once in a secluded street, her maids were so angered that they complained loudly, just outside the palace. I knew because I was there , their bitter words and her melodic voice chiding them flee with the wind. As if angels delivered it to me, my heart sparking with it.
.....
When.
When my father sent me back to the manor in our territory, telling me to go there.
My heart bristled like hairs stood on the edge. It was unfair. I didn't want to do it.
I stomped my feet, my words harsher than the last. Finally, my father gave the ultimatum and, I left utterly disgraced. Penniless, I ventured the streets. Fortunately, I was able to leave with my squires clothes. Not that I mind.
When I saw her !
I thought that it was my lucky day.
I followed her tapping her on her shoulder. She jumped obviously startled but my naive smile woke her up in a tight frown.
She was annoyed, I could feel.
Yet, her etiquette prevented her from doing more than a jump. She observed my clothes and surmised that I was a peasants child.
I grinned as I read her like a book. Even when she looked at me with condescending gaze, probably betitling me with it.
She tried to leave me behind but a few turns and she realized she couldn't get rid of me.
She tussled her hair in annoyance but, my naive smile won her over. Albeit, just a little.
It was good thing.
I followed her and soon, I was proven right.
A bunch of men suddenly appeared and looked at us sinisterly. She didn't know how to fight and I was an odd addition to their trip.
A bunch of ugly machines and one target, it doesn't take one two minds to know who sent them.
More importantly, who leaked them was the question.
Question marks filled my head as men flew left and right from me. At last. They sprawled on the floor.
She was safe.
Her astonished and marveling eyes made me giddy with happiness. Her praise in shock sent me to the high heavens.
She offered for me to stay at her estate.
Was I going to refuse? OF COURSE NOT!
I jumped in HURRAH!!!
I followed her straight back where I met her father who interviewed me. I squinted a smile not daring to look at anyone but him.
My brain strained at the thought that I'm roasted, if he knew.
I felt my skin crawl but the smile plastered in my face betrayed me. In that interview, I imagined something else. It was the scene of being probed by a father-in-law.
Something that might or might not happen in the near future.
I finally got this close after all. I can't lose it.
But, all was well. I was employed.
I stayed in the mansion and followed my lady from the library to tea parties. I changed my look a bit with different clothes and a change of demeanor.
It wasn't a drastic change but it felt nothing like a child of a noble.
Except the times when I awkwardly meet my own father, who'll spark his fuse when he meets me. Yet, he didn't discourage me.
Among nobleman and people I've met, I could proudly say, He was the best.
All was good.
When the prince comes and makes her angry.
I make her laugh.
When she is hungry with no appetite.
I bake her cookies or cook her goodies.
When she cries, I wipe her tears.
When she is bored, I took her somewhere fun.
The days were jolly and great, I was behind every step of her way, it was fun.
My heart was breathing, beating and alive.
I've never been so alive.
But, nothing lasts forever.
One winter, I was sent to the north by the Duke. Her father.
I knew he had some scruples against me, because of me getting along with her daughter.
I just didn't think that one small trip.
A single trip.
Made me lose, something so precious. Forever.
...
While, the prince and crown princess continued to erupt at eachother with each passing day. That lady bird finally perched the tree top it wants, singing sweetly and massaging the furrowed brows of that cheater.
Their bond getting closer than before.
While, her father glanced at her daughter. Saying a few vices each days to finally a torrent of his struggles at my lady's dismay.
Honestly, what's so good about the prince.
She can't make my lady happy.
....
The bitter cold hit me like a torrent, the snow falling heavily blurring our vision. The cold northern mountains was deprived of the sun.
It's day and night with little to no distinction, with only a little light. When pink covered the skies.
It was beautiful but a hard life. I finally finished what I came for, when the snow buried me alive. I said it lightly but the harsh terrain spoke something else.
I tried to get out but the snow seemed heavier than it seemed and the more I poked, the more the snow buried me.
I was devastated and desperate, my body going frigid by the minute.
Am I... am I going to die?
A shadow of a living being might be a rarer find in this parts of the mountain, much less a person who could find me under all that snow. But, thank God, there was.
A man heard my calls and God answered my prayers. Falling into such deep snow, who knows when they'll find my corpse. I wasn't keeen on finding out.
Who would have known.
I ,who have finished my task in 3 weeks ended up being comatose for 3 months prolonging my stay, including the journey and wasted my days.
I thanked the man before I left.
Not knowing what awaited my return
.....
I looked around the bustling streets and the whispering crowd. Made my way through, only too find the guillotine platform at the focus of the crowd.
I didn't think much of it, until, I saw....
"MY LADY!!!".
I screeched, earning the ire of the crowd.
Some disgruntled at my rudeness.
But, understanding me in some way, understanding everything I did, but, not my lady. Positioned there, ready to be murdered.
I cried hard, my weakened body from my recent illness bode me no well. My body leaned against the guards blocking me from my path. They were nice enough to let me but I yearned for another type of mercy.
Upon the crowd , was the Duke. He seemed to have aged 50 years from the sight. I viciously glared at him but, my lady forbid me from doing so. Her eyes might be blindfolded but I knew every furrow and smile of My lady!
I became helpless, but she looked at me.
I hoped those ruby eyes would look at me more. For a lifetime, not just today.
Yet, the blades were relentless eager to see me break, to see me begging and it did.
It brought me dead on my knees.
At that horrid sight, people came and dispersed.
....
I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know where to go.
I aimlessly walked the streets, sometimes robbed, sometimes poured at, spat at but compared to my lady.
The rain posed nothing to my grief.
I didn't want to go back.
To her home, the brightest and most hellish place on land.
I went back to my manor after 7 days.
I didn't know what state I came back in.
My father even tried to talk to me.
Alas, what talking could I have the heart to do.
...
Years passed and the Duke passed away.
I who stayed by his side, was adopted by him. Inheriting the lands and title he owned.
Her brothers moved out ,one by one. Declining a penny from their father.
One worked on the kingdom's laws: convicting criminals and approving laws. Another researched new things, improving the destitute lives of the people. Lastly, one traveled the world, meeting new places and people. Sometimes he'd visit me in your grave. We'd talk briefly before he left.
Sorry.
We couldn't make one for you.
My love. Am I worthy to call you that?
That blasted prince sat on the throne, still convinced you poisoned his beloved.
Sigh.
You know, I got married, a spouse-in-name, a person in your family left by their beloved with kids.
We created a home. We raised the kids right and they grew up fine.
I left them, your fathers property with the promise that they'd steer clear of any connection to the royal family.
Hmph. I am not going to forget him.
I stayed near the forest, I buried you in.
The forest you wanted to see when you were alive. All these years I survived for a reason.
If you were watching, don't blame yourself.
You weren't my demise . You were my beginning.
I kept the home you loved safe.
My dear, I did good right.
Now, persistent silver strands don my brow, a slight haze in my vision.
That morning seemed too bright like the day you left me.
Warmth enveloped me, sun rays cascaded down as they welcomed me.